Sunday, May 06, 2007

Paris Blues

Feelin' Mighty Low
I apologize for devoting yesterday's post to an inane ratting out on everybody's good little rich bitch, Paris Hilton. I mean, I didn't even mention Nicky Hilton in the post, not Nicole the sister but Nicky--is he their father? uncle?--anyway, I remember Nicky--his role in life was to just be a spoiled rich brat playboy--blowing all the old man's money as fast as his luxurious habits evolved--ending with a marriage to "Marry 'em all, the aging, bald, gay, fat, short, midget, or tall" Liz Taylor. I think Nicky got Liz when she was still somewhat unplucked, unless Mickey Rooney, that little rascal. got her while they were making National Velvet.

But, with all that's going on in the world, I'm writin' about poor little rich-bitch, gay Paree Hilton; in the meantime, 30 died this morning in a Baghdad in a car bombing and no telling how many died yesterday when the US bombed from the air a Shi'ite neighborhood (read Slaughterhouse Five for a study of how ruthless the US Air Force can become when it gets one of the chimpanzee urges for hot, fresh-killed, still-bloody own-kind meat and bombs a city back to the Stone Age)--it's so the thing to do in Baghdad these days, you know, to die in a carbombing or to be shot by US forces at a checkpoint, or maybe get your ass blown away while trying to climb over that Halliburton-built concrete wall around your neighborhood. So, why would I waste such precious growls on so cheap a glass diamond as Paris Hilton? She'll overdose one night, we all assume--that's the gossip in the New York City celebrity circles.

More Celebrity bullshit: Old shaggy Robert D-minus Niro, he was damn good in Raging Bull and, as far as I'm concerned, he should have retired after that one, but anyway, old Bob is dancing up and down all the way to his bank these days as he foists his Tribeca Film Festival on the whole island of Manhattan this year--why, I see Tribeca Film Festival events going on all the way uptown from Tribeca in Chelsea, the new chic-chic artsy-fartsy area of Manhattan--all the spoiled little rich artsy fartsy Baby Boomer kids with so much money and so many indecisions to face, with their Fine Arts degrees from Ivy League schools--still covered in ancient ivies, too--or with their museum-finance-business-fund-raising degrees, whatever the hell spoiled rich brat sons and daughters living off daddy's bucks do to become art experts and gallery owners and in some cases actually panning themselves off as artists. These privileged little so and sos have the money and they blow it with disregard to the future and the zoning board of the City Council loves them and trumpets that their excess spending exaggerates the tax base over in Chelsea and that's good for all of us here in NYC whether we like it or not...blah, blah, blah. I'm spitting in the wind, I know.

Con-Ed, our precious public utility, one of the culprits who put half the United States into a blackout in 2002, is asking for an 11.5% rate increase (how much you bet they'll get it?), claiming they need a billion bucks to be able to handle this summer's coming energy surges--I mean, all these new hi-rises are gonna need a hell of a lot of juice, baby, to keep them spoiled rich brat tenants all comfortable and cozy in their 30-million-dollar hi-floor apartments and suites. The blackout these "public" utility crooks (re: Kenny Boy Lay and Enron--have we forgotten that mess yet? Sure we have--the Queen's in town--F the past) happened right after 9/11, too, and our little prick phony "president" was scaring the hell out of us with "orange" and "purple" and "polka dot" alerts (remember those scare tactics?) and our little prick billionaire mayor was talking about how broke the city was and how undermanned and undermonied we were due to 9/11 and he was issuing his scare tactics about bombs in the subways and on the bridges--they caught a nutjob, they claim, trying to blow up the Brooklyn Bridge--can you blow up the Brooklyn Bridge? It's a pretty tough cookie to blow up, I would think, but anyway, scare, scare, scare. [As an aside: I see where the Bloomberg Network's up for sale-- and that means our little prick billionaire mayor will be even richer--more of our hard-earned money will leaving our grasps--going into the tax-free Plutocrat funds, those foundations, those think tanks, those nonprofit organizations, those investment schemes, any way they can think of by hook or crook (you think creative accounting is dead? Don't you believe it) to corral more of the world's monies into their stock-rich coffers. It's power, folks, don't let 'em kid you. You are judged on how much money you're worth in this country and that's it, case closed. You ain't got no money, then you ain't got no TIME--meaning, you are a slave to those who have the money. Dig? You wanna job, then you better follow their Human Resources needs ("Large Manhattan brokerage firm needs ethnics to clean the cans in modern mid-town skyscraper; we also need an ethnic to shine executive male shoes on call"). I was in the business when they changed "Personnel" to "Human Resources," as opposed to "Monkey Resources" or maybe "Lab Dog and Cat Resources." It took the "person" out of "personnel."]

Wow, Christian Cool Tease
Paula White, the hot babe evangelical flim-flammer from the South Beach of Miami--Paula's hillbilly/trailer trash chic, did a workout segment today on her Sunday-morning money-hustling hour of worship. You see, Paula, baby, has a new book out--and then she introduced the dude she wrote it with and hoooo boy, it was one of South Beach's older toy boys, a guy named Dodd, yes, Dodd--great, right, and you should have seen Dodd. Shit, he look like he was made out of rubber. Arnie Swartzendumkopft would call him a "girly man." But then sweet Paula trotted out in a workout outfit that--OK, folks, close your ears if you don't like reality--left me almost a 100 on my personal "Peter Meter." Wow, I'm here to testify that Sister Paula's a sizzler--one of those skinny babes with a Grand Teton rack. OK, Paula. She almost got me out to Kennedy Airport on a quick flight to South Beach to join up with her and Dodd for some Mimosas and crepes--I'm taking my friend calexico-sam with me; he loves the smell of women after they've gone through a thorough workout. Praise the Lard and pass me some watercrest and chesnut salad over here.

See, thegrowlingwolf does worship on Sundays--except I have a very pretty Korean neighbor and she told me the other day she was a Seventh Day Adventist--Jesus, all these Christian expressions of worship for instinctual legends--there are so many of them it's confusing.

Nine Americans Die in Baghdad as Rudi Mussolini Declares If He Can Steal the Presidency, He'll Send 65,000 More Stupid Kids Over to Iraq to Die
Yep, folks, America's Mayor is bullshitting about how he as Commander and Chief will stand tough against those Iraqi bastards who don't appreciate what we're doin' for them--those self-centered towelheads, Rudi says all he needs is 200,000 American cannon-fodder troops overthere and he'll clean ass like he stopped crime here in New York City when he was mayor. Yeah, he stopped crime all right--except in his own circle of friends--remember, Rudi and Bernie Keric are asshole buddies--they've probably screwed the same bimbos together before. You think Bernie had the current Ms. Mussolini? Poor Rudi. He's such a loser. He flip-flops on abortion you know because you know this jerk with all the mistresses and one-night bangs he's had has had to have paid for a dozen or so abortions in his time.
Roadside bombs killed eight American soldiers in separate attacks Sunday in Diyala province and Baghdad, and a car bomb claimed 30 more lives in a wholesale food market in a part of the Iraqi capital where sectarian tensions are on the rise.

In all, at least 95 Iraqis were killed or found dead nationwide Sunday, police reported. They included 12 policemen in Samarra, among them the city's police chief, who died when Sunni insurgents launched a suicide car bombing and other attacks on police headquarters.

The deadliest attack against U.S. forces occurred in Diyala, where six U.S. soldiers and a European journalist were killed when a massive bomb destroyed their vehicle, the U.S. military said. Two U.S. soldiers were wounded, the military said.

From the Miami Herald today.

And John "Another Loser" McCain is still trying to make himself a saint, though most times people, even Repugnicans are simply laughin' their asses off at him he's so damn stupid.

And then up steps Hillary-Dillary Dock Clinton to say she's for continuing to fund the troops--Holy Shit, Hill, do you want to be president or are you working for the Bushes--that's what it seems all Dumbocrats are working for--I mean, the American people yell in their pig-jowled faces in November of '06, "Get us the F out of Iraq and quit spending our Treasury on that war and, in fact, impeach the whole god-damn Congress, Executive Branch, and Justice Department, including impeaching the whole Supremely Stupid Court. Such asinine people!

And, of course, as usual this morning on network television it was all about the Repugnicans, analysist of Rudi's chances as opposed to a surprisingly number of these millionaire newsboys with their own teevee shows are leaning toward the great Mitt "What the Hell Is Wrong With Plural Wives?" Romney, the Mormon candidate. Can you imagine a ticket of Mitt Romney and Oren Hatch winning the presidency and vice presidency and then announcing they were making Mormonism the official religion of the USA. God that would be so cartoonishly keen!

Frig'em young, right Mitt?

Have you figured out yet that most religio freaks have sexual perversions galore?

What's this, an invitation to party with Paris Hilton in her jail cell. Hot damn, I'm going. I'll take a bottle of Armagnac with me--who knows, I might meet Nicole and go off to a cheap motel with her. Who knows; it's Hollywood, baby. Just where is poor little Paris gonna serve her time? Think she'll give the jailers a little "you know what"? Film it, guys, if you wanna get rich quick.

for The Daily Growler

France in a Vichy-like return to the Dark Ages voted in some Right-wingers who are already pledging allegiance to Georgie Porgie Bush, the US phony "president." The new French president has already been caught with his big French nose deep in G.W. Bush's nasty-dingleberried asscrack, kissing away, licking as a matter of fact and thanking G.W. for allowing him to go as deep as he likes.

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