PRAISE THE LARD, BIN LADEN'S DEAD, YOU BELIEVE IT?

Bin Laden's Body to Be Exhibited in Capitol Rotunda Just Before November Elections
A French intelligence leak is rumored to reveal that good ole Terrerist Commander and Chief and CIA Invention, Keiko-Muckity Muck Al Quaida genius, Osama "Mama" Bin Laden died of TYPHOID in those hills of ole Pakistan back in August. Well shut our mouths here at The Daily Growler, that true little weasel Karl Rove, remember he promised the Repugnicans he'd have a surprise for 'em recently--trying to pep 'em up with Georgie Porgie's ratings hangin' tough around 39% (just slightly better than his Pappy's after the Gulf War fiasco and the national debt zooming up to break Ronnie Raygun's record), has managed to come with a winner, we think. Yep, remember how Bush turned on the French? Now the French seem to be coming back into the folds--Chirac is being given the privilege of introducing this hot item to Fox News so it'll be factual. Hot damn, we can call 'em french fries again! Hey, pass them heartbusting cheese frenchies over here, please.

Well, well. How will the Dumbocrats respond to this lie?

You know why it could be another lie? Some of us here at The Daily Growler have been saying all along either he was a CIA invention or dead already or if he was real and not a CIA invention, he was at least a CIA operative still and also a really close friend of the Bush Family (a supporter of theirs--you know, hell, he got Bush "elected" in Bush Baby's spectacular "win" in 2004--some of us believe Binny Boy promised to play this role of Al Queda [we don't know how to spell it--we don't even know what it is] bogeyman for a substantial amount of money to his family and a nice comfortable life at his tiger hunting lodge deep in the Pakistani mountains--tigers do live in mountains, don't they?

But typhoid? We'd a thought his bad kidneys would have killed him. They say the typhoid got his old boney ass because he couldn't get any doctors to come to his hideout--you know giving away his hiding place to all those CIA and Paki operatives with binoculars in them thar hills [remember The Daily Growler post on "hiding places [Unka Dick's secret bunker, for instance] in both mind and actuality"?]. OK. That makes sense...or does it? Excuse us, but the original Bin Ladin was on a dialysis machine, right? Are dialysis machines eternal? Are they portable? I mean, also, we're confused because doesn't he have a personal physician? Isn't Al Queda such a well-organized organization that getting a doctor into their commander and chief to save his life would be as easy as getting old Bin's videos out in time for a Bush event or need. Well, now, dyin' for Bush may get this guy a Congressional Medal of Honor, and certainly the Nobel Peace Prize--or does Bush get that one? We're sitting around for the next editon.

Remember, we see life as a cartoon strip. thegrowlingwolf , our main Devil's Advocate, claims he's more wolf than human being and in that sense he sees characters like Daffy Duck and Porky Pig as real people, you know, human-animal hybrids like Georgie Porgie, our "president," claims will happen if he allows life-saving stem-cell research to be sanctioned. God, you know, doesn't allow sodomy, which is what a human-animal hybrid has to do to make love.

So we here in the Growler city room are waiting with bells on for the next edition of this lie. Remember, we keep insisting, everything concerning what's going on in Iraq and Afghanistan is a lie--when you start with a lie, like Bin Laden being a lie in the first place, then whatever happens to these lies are just more lies, lies that if told often enough--this is what these birds believe--become reality. So, if the lie Bin Laden is dead and that's a lie, then it must be true, right?

thestaff
for The Daily Growler