Sticking Out Tongues

A Daily Growler Bulletin: The Great Buck O'Neal died today--94; former batting champion of the Negro League; former manager of the Kansas City Monarchs; and the Cubs scout who signed Ernie Banks and Lou Brock. Our growlers are raised in great respect for baseball great BUCK O'NEAL.

The Mighty Casey Has Struck Out; Maybe for Good
OK. OK. Horse laughing is tolerable. "It ain't over 'til it's over" though. But, hell, from some points of view it is over, especially those of the 50,000 believers who gathered last evening at whatever the new Tiger Stadium is now called to watch the rejuvenated, Leyland-managed Detroit Tigers make absolute "ladies" out of baseball's most vaunted millionaires, the New York Yankees. But while the rest of the world guffaws with delight--and while they're laughing like leftover-hungry hyenas in the Motor City (not many motors made there anymore) and like drunken banshees out in the hills of Oakland, California, where the Athletics, already easy victors over the Minnesota, Yankee fans keep the faith--we are dreaming of those bats coming alive--pleasant dreams to us that may just be dreams after this mess is over. The Athletics, by the bye, would delight in a Detroit win; to them, Detroit is simply another Minnesota; besides, who wouldn't rather play Detroit than the Yankees?-- though Oakland was the only team in the American League who actually had a winning record against the Yankees this year.

First of all, I have to say, Wheelchair Randy Johnson pitched a pretty damn good as far as I'm concerned game. [It, by the bye, was the first time in the ML playoffs that two old 40-year-0ld pitchers on their last legs, Johnson and Kenny Rogers, have ever faced each other--the oldest pitchers to ever start a playoff game--that's what I'm trying to say. My mouth is full of phlegm--caused by that taste of hopelessness that Yankee fans have hanging over them at the start and during every game--never giving up until the ninth inning. The Yankees won more one-run games than any other team this year; they also lost a lot of one-run games, too.]
Wheelchair Randy gave up the runs yeah, but I've never seen the Yankee infielders so sloppy, especially Cano and Giambi--both were fielding and throwing like girly men--and then when these millionaires, most of them headed for the Hall of Fame, too, came to the plate to hit--it was obvious from the time Bobby Abreu whiffed his first time up, then Giambi whiffed, then A-Rod whiffed that we Yankee fans were gonna have a humiliating night of it--and getting beat by former Yankee bum Kenny Rogers--true lowlife humiliation--and did you see the shit-eating grin on Kenny's face all during the game--definitely his proudest moment in baseball (Alex Rodriguez is a truly great baseball player who used to regularly hit 40 homeruns and bat consistently around .325; last night he whiffed 3 times; he has only 1 hit so far in the series). Then after Jorge Posada got a hit, he went 2 for 3--a solid ballplayer this guy, Matsui whiffed, Cano whiffed--by then, Yankee fans were hollering, Holy Christ, what's going on! I was boiling--I was so tense and angry, but then I remembered the whole season went like this--the lousiest pitching in the world getting behind 3 to 5 runs in the first three innings and the Yankees waiting until the very latest of innings before rallying--though most of the season they were able to rally and eke out enough runs to get ahead and then be rescued by the superb closer, Mariano Rivera [however, remember in the playoff series with the Red Sox last year, it went all the way to the fifth game and then Mariano blew the save and lost the series to the team that went on to win the WS]. It's typical Yankee baseball. Yankee fans are used to it; though it is a painful way to enjoy your favorite sport.

New York pro football--I could care little or nothing about whether the Giants or the Jets will win or lose--to me they're New Jersey teams anyway, having abandoned NYC for that big bulky tacky Meadowlands Stadium--or Giants Stadium as it's now called--even the Jets abandoned Shea Stadium, to me a great football stadium, to go over to Jersey, so to hell with these non-NYC football teams.

New York pro basketball; again, I could care less. I'd rather watch a Big East college game than the pros, though I must admit I was a Lakers fan back when Magic, James Worthy, and Jabbar were the heart and soul of that team--when Pat Riley really was a good basketball coach. He had to come to the New York Knicks to prove he was simply just an ordinary coach; no great B-ball coach can help the Knicks, who have always had front office and general management problems.

But baseball--hell, baseball started in NYC--oh hell, I forgot, that old Knickerbocker baseball club used to play in the meadowy fields of old New Jersey. Even the legendary inventor of baseball was from New York, though he never invented baseball at all probably--Abner Doubleday up in Cooperstown, New York--I mean, all the baseball treasures in the world are housed up in Cooperstown.

All of this BS for what? Hell, I'm defending the hated Yankees.

Jared Wright is starting for them in the next and most crucial game they face with the Tigres. Jared Wright is a same-old-same-old type of flip-a-coin Yankee pitcher. He usually starts right off the bat giving up runs--he could easily give up 5 runs before he settles down around the 5th inning, though lately, in his favor, he has been, along with Wang, the so-far best Yankee starter--like since July. Most of his games though the Yankee bats have had to come alive big-time to bail him out of a loss; but if Wright can pitch smoothly through the sixth and Joe rearranges his batting order again--he's got to get Sheffield's bat back in the game, that's for sure now--sorry, Bernie, you had your shot. Joe did right by benching Gary Sheffield yesterday, so I won't knock Joe for that. The Yankees only hope is if they can finally all hit at the same time, then we'll come back to NYC and it will be up to Wang to bring the bacon on home. Trouble still is, you cannot depend on Yankee starting pitchers--the Yankees have to depend on their offense--no offense, no win. This is a hardcore baseball fact--pitching rules the roost in baseball, it doesn't matter how many batting average champions or RBI champions you have on your team. Two Yankees, Giambi and A-Rod, hit 72 homeruns between them and drove in 250 runs--that, folks, is amazing--yet, so far in the playoffs with Detroit, these two behemoth players have been totally ineffective. Giambi did hit a homerun in the Yankees win over Detroit. The first three batters for the Yankees, Damon, Jeter, and Abreu, combined hit over .300, and combined drove in 200 runs. The first five batters in the Yankees offense drove in 450 runs. Derek Jeter alone has shown himself to be the greatest Yankee player this year--and he's up for the MVP award as I type this.

OK, it's possible now the Yankees could lose. That's how Yankee fans always feel--we can't believe it when this team loses--it just makes no sense until you analyze their pitchers--worst pitchers in both leagues--totally unreliable. When they pitch mediocre, the Yankees win; when the pitch like the Bush Leaguers they are, the Yankees lose. Is Wright a Bush Leaguer or a millionaire pro, that's today's big question? The answer to that question is the answer to who will win: Detroit or NYC. Detroit definitely has a better pitching staff than the Yankees--I mean better totally all around--a bullpen that is scary with Walker and Zumaya. Where Detroit is weak, their offense; get up on Detroit early and you can beat 'em (ask the lowest of all baseball teams, the Kansas City Royals. They beat the Tigers 5 in a row at the end of the season.

So, folks, an old Yankee fan from way back, tells you all, don't start laughing your asses off over those chickens you're counting before your eggs have hatched--at least wait until after the Yankees really lose--then you can cackle so heartily, you'll be laying eggs all over your neighborhood bar. Will Detroit burn the rest of Detroit down if they win the WS this year?

marvelousmarvbackbiter
with a Sports Desk exclusive for The Daily Growler

To Keep You Up to Date on the Corruption in the Bush Administration--Also the Continuing Days of Death and Destruction in Iraq and Afghanistan
We found these cool video clips on the amazing YouTube--see our post praising Sister Rosetta Tharpe a few weeks back. We don't know who Keith Olbermann (hey, a good German name) is since we never watch teevee with any seriousness, but he seems to be sticking his white neck out on the subject of Georgie Porgie, our "president," and his successful failure as the Worst Unelected President in this country's sordid history. Check out these videos:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=H9_QoE2P8sk

What a great man lil' ole Georgie Porgie is. He looks like he should be living outside of Austin, Texas, in a trailer house.

Hey, folks, remember what Popeye the Sailor used to say, "I fight's to the finish when I eats me contaminated spinach, I'm Pop-eye the sailorman." Don't worry though, the FDA says spinach is now safe to eat again--and this after trying to blame this contaminated spinach on the organic variety--yeah sure--they bag organic spinach! Biogenetically altered spinach, yeah--if you call that organic. You can pretty well figure out that if we are injecting our food supply with trout genes and frog genes we're gonna come up with some mighty sickening veggies out there, much less the tons of contaminated meats that will soon be to us from China, the largest users of red meats in the world. China's hunger for redmeats is actually fucking up our Eco-system; extincting our original ancient grasslands in Brazil and Africa.

Hey, every day, a new scare, brought to you by The Daily Growler.

thestaff
for The Daily Growler