Sunday, September 30, 2007

Things That Can't Be True

Like Evolution...
6 billion people believe lies over truths. Stupid statement to us; what are truths?, we ask. Truths are rewritten lies. Truths are what can be scrounged as facts from the wrecks caused on the highway of lies we faithfully speed down as we race towards the Kingdom of Chaos.

Hindus. Muslims. Christians. Buddhists. Most of us believe the bullshit frothed forth from these 4 groups of the insane. We all believe there is a BIG DADDY God. Well, we don't believe in NADA here at The Daily Growler. We do however believe in mosquitoes. But ask most morons if there is a god and no matter their ethnicity they'll probably say "Oh, yes indeedy there is a Big Daddy up there in the sky, Lard."

There is no BIG MAMA God in Muslim or Christian babblings. At least the Greeks gave Hera equal power with Zeus, and Hera was quite a bitch; who else could stand being married to Zeus? There's a statue of Zeus in the UN lobby. Zeus is the world's god? Is that what that means? Maybe the Hindus have some BIG MAMA gods, we are not that hip to Hindu, though we know some of those multi-armed anthropomorphic cuties on the Hindu worship shelf must be female, like Shiva, is she a he or a she, or does it matter to anthropomorphic made-up gods?--we especially love the big fat Elephant god--Knish? No, that not it's name...Gamoosh? F Hindu gods. We defy them. We defy BIG DADDY Jehovah, too. Come on, Mohammad, give us your best--and by the bye, how was your sister, pretty hot huh?

Irreligiousness is fun. God how we hate gods.

Say It Ain't So Omar and Willie
We have forever harped on the fact that general managers in baseball are the least people aware of the game itself. Besides, aren't we tired of so many Latino and Japanese imports clogging up our Amurican game? No prejudice intended, but come on, what happened to black players? Are they all playing football and basketball now? See how stupid racism is? Still, the Latinos on the Mets let 'em down, but also the white supreme pitcher Tom Glavine let 'em down, too. Old age just can't win you ballgames, Omar and Willie. Pedro--over the hill; why'd you buy him?; he hasn't contributed one god-damn thing to the Mets since he's been there. We exaggerate, of course. Bitchers love to exaggerate. And the boyz couldn't hit their ways out of paper sacks today, even if you hosed those sacks down and made them wet and flimsy. They beat the Marlins yesterday 13-0--Maines, a black pitcher, almost pitched a no-hitter. The next day, the same idiot team, and the Mets go Hollywood and choke and look like the worst team in baseball and not the team that should have won the World Series last year and should have been in the World Series this year. It's all about pitching, but these general managers who are in love with homerun hitters to the ignorance of knowing pitchers blow all their big bucks on hitters when they should be developing pitchers within their farm system or else shoveling out some big bucks for the ones coming up for grabs this year, like Mariano Rivera of the Yankees. Now the Mets are stuck with a hoard of bum pitchers, Glavine, Martinez, El Puque, Perez, Joe Schmit (who? you ask)...and Philadelphia's gift to the Mets, Billy "Did He Hit a Walk-off Homerun Off'a Me?" Wagner. I mean, come on, folks; the bum was worthless to the Mets in their last 18 games--he blew so many saves during that time, he'll be lucky if he isn't closing for Tampa Bay next year.

The Phillies look good, but we know that doesn't mean the Phillies are going to win the World Series. I can't see them beating the Yankees, the BoSox, or the Angels. Maybe Cleveland, though Cleveland has some g-d great pitchers, though they're not reliable. Of the teams who won the American League divisions, all have fairly good pitching staffs--the BoSox and the Yankees have the most unreliable pitchers but still when they're on they're good; when they're off, they pitch like the bums we sometimes feel they really are. It's amazing to us that there was only 1 20-game winner this year in baseball, Josh Beckett of the BoSox, and he only won 20; Wang and Lackey won 19. Lackey's from Abilene, Texas, and he's the cream of the Angels staff; but he is like Mussina, he wins big one year and then even-stevens it up the next year.

So, goodbye, Mr. Met. ["F you, The Daily Growler; I'll shoot tightly rolled up teeshirts up your asses next year, you Yankee b-b-b-bastards. I'm puttin' my Mister Met salary on the BoSox this year. Then we'll wait'll next year!"] Again, we sadly say good-bye to Mr. Met. [Mr. Met used to cover the Mets games for The Daily Growler but we didn't renew his contract after he shot rolled-up teeshirts at us while we were scouting the Mets at Shea one afternoon.]

Willie, we still love ya, kid, and we know you're a great manager, but here's some advice: get a new pitching coach! And tell Omar to go screw himself when he comes charging into your office demanding to know why you blew a seven-game lead with 15 games to play. Tell him to go after Ken Griffey, Jr., or Gary Sheffield even--get some black players on that team. What happened to great black pitchers, too; like Bob Gibson, one of the greatest pitchers we ever saw pitch?; F Sandy Koufax.
Yeah, we'd be ashamed, too, you little dick.

You Think Our Stock-Buying Advice Is Truth?
It is whether you believe it or not. We know Capitalism. We know Fascism. We know that Nazi giant corporations like Krupp Steel, Eberhart-Faber, Bausch & Lomb, Leica, General Aniline (a chemical company), Siemens, Daimler-Benz--weren't ruined by WWII. Hell no, they came out of that WAR smelling like roses. How 'bout those Japanese companies who suffered through WWII, let's see there's Mitsubishi, Nissan and Datsun (they changed their names when their cars started taking over the Amurican automobile industry and market), Sony, Panasonic, Canon (probably originally an Amurican company, anybody know?), Toyota. Just think, these two losing countries, Germany and Japan, survived the WAR in great shape; why, their economies went sky high while ours started tanking under Ronnie Raygun, our Alzheimer's president who depended on the likes of nutjob-egomaniac Jean Dixon for astrological advice, ignorant movie stars, Nancy and Ronnie, running this country--can you believe it's possible? It is true and don't think it's gonna get any better with our next "president."

Defense stocks, folks, that's our advice. F the kids's college fund; have a blast at Charles Schwab and go all out on defense stocks. What have you got to lose if you create as much buying power as you can and sink the farm into defense stocks? What, you gotta guilty conscience about making money off our suffering stupid troops or the innocent Iraqi men, women, children, babies getting their guts blown all over the countryside over there? Forget about it. It doesn't bother Hillary. She's well-stocked with defense stocks, including Wall-Mart (and we consider Wall-Mart a WAR stock) where she once sat on the board--plus she and Big Willie Jeff had to sell off their HMO stocks when it was found that National Healthcare for everyone Hillary was making big juicy bucks off her HMO stocks, especially Bill Frist's family's big HMO in Louisville, Kentucky. "Ah shucks, Hill, just put those stocks in Chelsea's name; those babies are making us a shit load of money, Hill."

Don't you want to be as rich as Hill and Bill? Once nothing but po'ass hillbillies from the great state of Arkansas, formerly our 51st state until Mississippi came along and knocked 'em out of last place, now the Slick Couple are multimillionaires--and after this election, they'll pocket millions'a more big election bucks--say Hill cops 40 million for her campaign--don't you think she's gonna pocket at least 10 million of that for her and Slick Willie's personal expenses (and you might see Chelsea's name on the payroll, too)? You bet she is. Even Obama's eyes are brightening up these days now that he's an F-ing millionaire. Who isn't filthy rich running for President this year?--probably Dennis Kocinich, though we don't trust his weird ass either. He is kind'a weird if you watch him long enough.

How embarrassing and insulting to Amuricans is it for Rudi "Mussolini" Guiliani to now be the leading Repugnican vote getter? You think Georgie Porgie with Unka Dick's hand up his ass is the worst-"president" ever, wait'll the rightwing Yahoos elect Mussolini Guiliani--oh God, here come the storm troopers, the black shirts, goosestepping their way down to Ground Zero for the installing of the 40-story statue of Rudi "Mussolini" Guiliani, the real hero of 9/11. Holy shit, is all this real?

That's the question; is this stupid shit going on all over the world really happening, or is it fiction like Jesus Christ, Mohammed, the Little Monkey God, or the big fat Buddha (Burger King should use Buddha in its commercials--"the Buddha Burger"--"Wanna look like a God, eat at Booger King." You know those young bitter jerks that work at Burger Kings blow boogers into burgers day-in-day-out. Next time you pass by a Burger King, give a look inside at all the dumb fools eating those fatty, killer booger burgers. Oh what fools we mortals be and still be and gonna keep on bein'.,,2153562_1,00.jpg
Go on, eat hearty; he didn't blow it on your burger.

Please Don't Believe Everything You Eat or Read or See
The latest photo of Rudi Guiliani
Whoops, we made a mistake, that's an old photo.
Here's Rudi's latest photo:

Have a good day,

for The Daily Growler

Question of the Day

Did Colon's Pal Powell lie about Iraq having weapons of mass destruction?
Did Colon's Pal Powell lie about our overthrowing the democratically elected government of Haiti?
Is Colon's Pal Powell a natural-born liar?
Yep, here he is just naturally lyin' like the big lyin' dog he's been since birth. And look at those two honest-as-the-day-is-long creatures behind him there. Boy ain't we lucky to have human gems like this leading us to hell in a handbasket?

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