The World Beyond, continued

In Tomorrowland, the Dumbocrats Are Getting Cocky
After being up all night reading about Theosophy (an intellectual's approach to Divinity), I listened to the early Air America broadcasts, Mark Riley, the brother by the way or silly-putty self-enthusiast Clayton Riley, and Rachel "The Good Lesbian" Maddow (who the hell knows where she came from out of Nowhere (friend of Al Franken's, we assume)) were trumpeting the triumphs of the Dumbocrat money launderers, how the Dumbos were out money grabbing the Repugnicans getting ready for the 2006 elections and the money wasn't coming from a Jack Abramoff subsidiary or Bill Clinton's crook-buddy, Marc Rich--pardoned at the last minute by Slick Willie the same as Georgie Porgie, our "president," will pardon his asshole-buddy Kenny Boy Lay--but from the grassroots, those good ole midstream Amuricans: that's people like you and me, you know? It's We the People, the people who own these bastards and the property they sit their big fat asses on as though THEY owned it; you know how much land We the People own? At least half the states of Nevada and Alaska; all the best beaches on every coast; the national parks, the national forests, the wildernesses and the land 3 miles out to sea. That land is our land. And when these politicians retire or else quit their posts and go to work for the lobbyist or the defense industry, they retire with a lot of We the People's money, a continued payment of most of their ill-gotten salaries (don't you wish on your job you could give yourself a huge raise when you felt like it?), office expenses, money to build their stupid libraries (check out the library Slick Willie built with We the People's money for himself in Little Rock (and little brains), Arkansas. It's the most modern building in town--they used a lot of illegal labor on that project, I'll bet you), Secret Service protection, free tickets to most golf courses in the world, plus the best health care OUR money can buy. Oh to live like these born-crooked politicians.

Like I was watching Howard Dean, a wild-eyed semi-crazed guy, spouting off some nonlogical bullshit on a talk show t'other day. He wasn't saying one god-damn sensible thing, just repeating old line legal reserve bullshit about FDR and JFK and blah, blah, blah. I got to thinking, why would a doctor practicing medicine give it up and become a politician? Doesn't that make you wonder a bit? Let me take a guess at answering that puzzling question: they can make more money as politicians than they can as doctors. PLUS, they don't face any malpractice suits when they fuck up as politicians like they have to do when they're doctors. Just as Dean's campaigning stupidity left him spinning like an empty beer can in the middle of a I-number highway, his leadership of the Dumbcratic Party is showing signs of the same stupidity. The Dumbos haven't a clue how to win the 2006 elections yet and the Repugnicans are handing it to them on a tarnished fake silver platter. The Repugnicans will win the 2006 elections from my point of view, which is within the cesspool created by these creeps looking out. We the People want a change, yes, but not the change the Dumbocrats are offering us. It's small change; we want big change.

I'm also alarmed by the claptrap praise being given to old military dudes like John Murtha and how they deserve to be listened to and to be more powerful in Dumbocratic politics. Murtha voted for the god-damn War in Iraq, by the way, same as Hillary RodHAM Clinton, Slick Hilliary she wishes, and a host of these other would-be Dumbocrat candidates, like John "Coward" Kerry and Al "Big Wimp" Gore, who says he's not a candidate, which of course most political observers take with a huge tablespoon of iodized salt. Just like Wesley Clark was heralded as a great Democrat when he was bullhorning about his views on the Iraq War--all of these ex-military MEN preface their comments by saying that first of all they're really really against the war because we didn't put enough troops in there in the first place. You noticed that? Nor will they talk down about the military. Wesley Clark was the same general who was hellbent for leather in the Bosnia-Serbia fiasco under Slick Willie Clinton, who made preemptive strikes all the time but gets praised for his war-handling by the Dumbocrat swooners. Check out that poor fool ex-Iraq vet, Paul Hackett, who tried to run in Ohio--and he got heavy support from especially Air America so much so that Jerry Springer got stuck with him so that now Hackett fills in for often vacationing Jerry when he can't make the show--they both deserve each other; about the same dullness and dumbness. Hackett tried to run his campaign based on his rather inane views of Iraq War, he, too, apologizing for the foolish young soldiers and still talkin' everything in army terms. Gung-ho crap apologizing for our troops. That's not who I want representing me in Congress. Those foul-bellied Repugnicans would eat these guys up and spit them out the way they did poor old slack-shouldered Colon Powell, who lowered himself into the pig trough of shame when he was forced by his "commander in chief" old Wahoo Georgie Porgie to go before the world of the UN and use child-like drawings to prove there were definitely WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION in Iraq and by God old Rummy himself said we even knew where the hell they were--you know, like just outside Baghdad. No big deal right? Remember, Rummy said the Iraq War wouldn't last much more than six weeks...maybe six months. Yeah, Rummy, you hyena-laughing criminal--or "agents provocatures" as these guys were known in the Viet Nam wrongful war, another war these same OIL bastards got us into back at the tail end of old draggin' ass Eisenhower's administration of Repugnican screwballs like the Dulles Brothers. Or how about what these slimeballs did to Max Cleland, a dude who lost two legs and an arm to that folly in 'Nam? The coward-ass Repugnican spin doctors cut old Max's other arm off and called him a helpless coward whose ass Georgie Porgie could kick with one had tied to his mommy's apron (HAH-HAH) strings. Or look what they did to John McCain, a man who lived in a Tiger cage for some enormously ungodly number of years--I mean they pulled his teeth out without anesthetics while calling him all sorts of filthy ass names since he was the enemy overthere, you understand. All cultures who go to war torture their enemy when they capture them. That's war, son. No excuse of course unless you believe old Brit Thomas Hobbes who saw mankind as barbaric no matter its so-called progress. The Repugs spinned old John McCain as a total nutjob from his Tiger cage experience and I have to admit, I kinda feel that way about Viet Nam vets that actaully saw really really real combat or who were shot down and taken prisoner like Mc Cain, a fighter pilot, like old Pappy himself was a fighter pilot in WWII. Seems I heard a story years ago about how Pappy's plane got hit and crashed and Pappy bailed out before the rest of his crew, something a crew captain ain't suppose to do, just like a sea captain has to stay with his ship, yada, yada, yada. And these lickspittling draft dodgers and AWOL oil-rich privileged spoiled brats keep spouting about how proud they are of our dead soldiers--and how embarrassing was watching that AWOL asshump "president" putting a wreath on the Tomb of the Unknown Poor Boy and talking about our heroes in Iraq with his eyes dry as bones and showing no compassion at all. General Smedley Butler, winner of two Congressional Medals of Honor, three actually but the CoH purists won't give him his third, said over 70 years ago, that being a soldier in the US armed forces meant you're working for Amurican corporations and protecting their interests and dying for their freedom to rape foreign countries of their natural resources so that the USA can continue to trumpet how F-ing HUGE and MEAN we are and you can either kiss our powerful asses or we'll "take ya all on" and maybe turn your country into a radiated wasteland, a la T.S. Eliot's poem. "WAR IS A RACKET," Smedley said then, and that's still true now. WAR IS A RACKET. Here are some companies that got rich off WWII: Bayer Pharmaceuticals (their product aspirin, which they now PR as a "miracle" drug, was tested on Jewish prisoners in the conscentration camps), the Eberhard Industries--check out that wooden #2 pencil you use at you workstation, kids, does it say Eberhard on it? Or how about the Deutschland Uber Alles Bank, Krupp Steel, General Aniline Corporation, Daimler (who now own Chrysler Motors), or Mercedes-Benz (now one of the most popular cars among the privileged rich egoists), even Hitler's own little company, Volkswagen, is still doing quite well, ja vol...and these were German companies, ja vol; and Germany lost WW II. Didn't they? Oh, really? Well, then, how about Mitsubishi in Japan?--they got rich as Japan's leading war industry--they made tanks, planes, everything--today they make automobiles--wonder where they learned to be so proficient in making automobiles? Ah the ironies--and all due to WAR. CAPITALISM depends on wars to keep it bullish.

Ok, you say, how can the Dumbocrats win then since you're so F-ing smart? It's simple, by getting ahold of those crooked voting machines that Congress has mandated every state use in the near future (Tomorrowland) and pitching them all in the nearest government superfund dumping site cess pool. Right now the Repugnicans aren't worried; they'll still pull miraculous victories out of the hat to win most close-call elections this fall wait and see. It's already happened in California, in San Diego where I heard poll workers took the voting machines home with them before counting the votes. Just heresay, but probably true. Watch Ohio, Florida, California, and the red-ass states; their votes will be crookedly counted, that I guarantee. Now, if the Dumbos lose by bare-minimum margins, then their next move should be to hold up the whole damn election process, refuse to concede any close-call precincts anywhere, and file suit after suit against the state voting regulators and the secretaries of state, like that assinine Kathleen Harris who is currently looking more and more like Tammy Faye Baker she's fallen so far from whatever grace it is sleasebags like her believe in. The Dumbocrats must disrupt voting as usual and demand recounts, a hundred if that's how many it takes. Paper balloting. Controlled balloting. But, and this is a pretty safe guess, just like Al Gore and John Kerry gave up without a fight and were both snugly in their little mansion beds by 11 pm, so will these Dumbocrat senators and representatives kowtow when the Repugnican crooks sweep squeaky close past them in last minute vote counts again in this election.

All politicians are crooks, I don't give a shit what party they belong to. The only way to get rid of them is to flush them down the toilets they sit on all day shitting us. All the toilets in the Senate, the House, the Executive Branch, the Justice Department, the Supreme Court, the CIA, the Pentagon, the FBI, the government are getting so full of shit that I'm afraid one of those fool's is going to cause a massive panicking flushing of toilets in Washington, District of Corruption, and it's gonna flood the hell out of the Beltway and K Street and Pennsylvania Avenue, and Camp David, and Unka Dick's secret bunker-- so much shit we'll never see old Washington, D.C., the same again. It'll be a Katrina of shit that will wipe out from midtown D.C. all the way out through Georgetown over into Arlington, Fairfax, Virginia, nothing but flooding shit, hot shit, steamy hot, hot tons of shit. Good, then maybe we could build a whole new capitol city and put in We the People to run it. Maybe make it a tent city and move it around like a circus; let it play in the Midwest for a session, then move it to say the hills of West Virginny.

I've often been amazed by seeing how one tiny cosmologically insignificant human being, one out of billions, can get so much F-ing power, like Georgie Porgie, our "president" (never elected fairly or honestly, if there ever has been such an election), power enough to steal billions of dollars from the nation's treasury and order thousands of civilian human beings killed and thousands of soldier human beings killed and hundreds of thousands of people maimed and justify your orders by saying you are honoring the people and soldiers you're killing! Or the honor of their wimpy old Pappy, in the case of Georgie Porgie. [Did you read that Pappy advised Sonny Boy to get rid of Donald Rumfull and Sonny Boy told Pappy to kiss his mamma's boy's ass? I'll bet Pappy rues the day he crossed Babs way back in those long hard days of crooked oil dealings in Mexico when little Georgie Porgie was tied to her apron (HAH!) strings.]

I'm sorry I'm such a Freudian. It's so clear to me all this macho hustling and shit that's going on in the world today. Penis envy among males who probably don't have penises with much power anyway. You think Georgie Porgie can still get it up? I'll betcha he can't? Why do you think Pickles has moved into the Mayflower Hotel? How about John Kerry? Like Jake Barnes in Hemingway's The Sun Also Rises, perhaps his dick was shot off in his heroic days in 'Nam. Perhaps that's why he threw his medals away. On the other hand, he got the Heinz-inheritant babe--I don't know; remember what I said about Jake Barnes getting hot rich babes, even after he told them he'd had his pecker blown off. Where there's a will there's a way, dammit. I don't think the Dumbocrats have the will, which is too damn bad 'cause they sure do have the way.

thegrowlingwolf
for The Daily Growler

A Daily Growler Sports Bulletin
Don't put any money on USA football (soccer to us) in the World Cup. Czech beat 'em 3-0. US couldn't do dick shit. Italy is next and they have a pretty good team. They beat Ghana, not that good'a team, easily and they look pretty rough. Unless the US team gets Benny Hinn to slam 'em into the Holy Ghost and they start pulling miracles out of their raggedy asses, don't look for them to score against the Italians either.

I'm a Mexico fan now after seeing them wipe their asses with Iran, who looked like if they'd get together better could have a good team. So far, I'd say Mexico, Italy, England, and that damn Ecuador look like the best teams I've seen so far. Spain you have to watch and France. We'll see. If the US beats Italy, I'll eat one of languagehat's hats.

Tequila
Speaking of Mexico, I saw a great bar in Mexico City on teevee tonight; they had over 150 different tequilas there with this sharp-ass funny Mexican owner showing this little Brit chick how to down shots of tequila, you know, by licking your hand at the base of thumb and then salting it, then licking the salt off and at the same time squeezing half a lime into your mouth and then you shoot back a shot of tequila. Wow. It looked totally Mexican and totally exciting to my solar plexus; I lived in Mexico City for a year and that's one of the greatest places I've ever been and I've been to some fine damn places, too, like putting my filthy sloshed tootsies into the rushing waters of the mighty Amazon at a place in Colombia where William Burroughs first discovered yaghi, the most powerful drug he'd ever taken--that is almost as powerful as a full load of adrenelin shot up your spinal cord. Arriba! Pachucos! And the Brit chick went down to Garibaldi Square and oh such memories came floating back to me like a jacaranda flower floating in a bathtub filled by a luscious senorita o senora...hay-yi-yi, amigos! And I once played bamboo flutes with some companeros who called themselves Los Hijos del Tiburon, the Sons of the Shark, and oh the joys of being drunk, playing a weasel dance or two then Malaguena Salerosa...whew, nothing finer. Then calling over the dude with the shock box and getting shocked really really good and then buying a cheap cigaro from the dude, lighting it with a diez pesos note, and then wafting down a crock of and spilling a little vino San Tomas on my white suit. What a life? The past. Only memories and you know how memories are manipulated. I drank Mezcal when I lived there; Mezcal and Ron Bacardi, which was $1.50 a fifth. Have I told you about the night I got drunk on the roof of my hotel with a Time friend of mine on Mexican Bacardi rum--a bowl full of limes, plenty of salt, even for the rum. You drink every alcoholic beverage in Mexico with a hand laced with salt and plenty of fresh limones. A grito for Mexico!

therovingmaniac
for The Daily Growler