Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Iraq Declares War on US

This Morning:
We watched some films of these massive protests in Baghdad yesterday. The network news declared it to be a few hundred rascals under the bootheel of Mo Sadr, isn't that his name? Sadr City. But the film we saw showed what looked like at least a hundred thousand mostly males and this prelate, not Sadr, whooping them on with chants calling for the US to get the hell out of Iraq and take their bases with them, too, and leave Iraq to the Iraqis.

Yesterday was a great moment in US history. The reason for the "Mission Accomplished" photo-op with flyboy Georgie Porgie "Never Honestly Elected" Bush popping out of an Air Force jet like Poppin' Fresh, the Pillsbury Doughboy, except the phony "president" was wearing a banana in his flight suit; the only way he can get an erection.

"Women want to be worshipped!" came a whoop from over around the table where Claus Spitt, the imaginary character creator, the creator of Brino "Long Eye" the One-Eyed Master Mind, is sitting with Evie Brown having huevos rancheros whipped up by Hop Sing Briones, The Daily Growler office chef. "Hay caramba!, Senor Briones, los huevos rancheros es mucho gusto." "That's OK, miss, I speak perfect English...UCLA 1980, if you please, madame," Hop Sing replies. "Eat me, Hop Sing," Little Evie demurely snaps back, "you'd be pickin' cotton down in the Pecos Valley if we hadn't'a hired you as our cook. C-O-O-K, Hop, my boy." Speaking of "poppin' fresh," Wow, that Evie Brown ain't no role model, is she.

We escaped this assinine inner-office fight though we would have liked to have pursued Mr. Spitt's "women want to be worshipped" idea. We think he, too, the same as thegrowlingwolf, is infatuated with The Daily Growler official "high-on-herself" priestess and voodoo babe, Pastor Melissa Scott. We assume that's where Spitt got the idea of women wanting to be worshipped. We are men and women mixed so we're not going to propose any retorting or bullcrap backbiting or facing off against each other in dissecting Mr. Spitt's accusation. Intellectually pure we ain't.

So, say hey, Willie, what do We the People do when Iraq unites against us in Iraq? Do we impeach GPB (our "president") then? There were members of the Iraqi Army in yesterday's gathering to celebrate the anniversary of the US of A freeing Baghdad and "toppling" Sah-dam Hoosane--remember the phony, set-up, photo-op of the Iwo Jima-flag-raising-like pulling down of Saddam's statue, the only one in Baghdad, we now assume--we don't recall any other Saddam statues coming down that day, maybe they didn't get photo-op-ed.

This was the Iraqis saying loudly and massively, it's time Iraqis wake up to what is really going on, how the US armed forces are there now to occupy the country, to turn it into an American Dependency, same as Israel, same as Colombia, same as Puerto Rico, same as Guam, same as the Truk Islands, same as the Danish West Indies, same as Afghanistan, except the outcast forces are kicking ass back over there just like the Russians warned us about them when they finally got the hell out of there and we took over after setting up Osama Bin Laden and the Mujaheddin (sic) that brought the Taliban to power after kicking out the Russkies.

"Get out of Iraq!!!" these Iraqis were shouting, their shouts ringing in a united roar across that plaza-like place where they were gathered--with Iraqi flags being waved and American flags being burnt and trampled upon. We've seen that before. We saw that right here in our own streets during the VietNam War protests!

Lies, lies, lies, all lies, just pile after pile of lies (all US wars are started on LIES, which we explained in a long post that seems like years ago now)--the War in Iraq started with a big lie, that Saddam was buying uranium from Niger to build Weapons of Mass Destruction, a total lie, fabricated by an Italian nutjob in the hire of, you guessed it, the CIA, our bumbling, inept, deadly little dude spy organization set up by Wild Bill Donovan, a damn general, as the OSS during WWII, and made the CIA after WWII but at the beginning of the infamous "Cold War" (oh man and his male taglines!) with the Soviet Union and Uncle Joe Stalin by that great patriot-aristocrat asshole Allan Dull-as-Hell Dulles (they named the D.C. airport after him), asshole brother of aristocrat snob Eisencoward Sec'y of State John Foster Dulles--never trust a person with three names--and perhaps we should include initials as names too so we can include Warren G. Harding, Richard M. Nixon, Hairy Ass Truman, George H. W. Bush--Ronnie Raygun was too dumb and common to have three names or he'd'a had 'em. We accept "Raygun" as Ronnie's third name, Ronnie Raygun "Star Wars and Japan in Three Hours" Reagan, one of the great ones. The Great Communicator. Holy crap piled higher than that lycophantic moon that sails over thegrowlingwolf's head at all times.

And Then in Loped Old Tom Brokaw Back Into the News
Tom Brokaw, a teevee announcer turned "newsman"--we jest, of course--Tom Brokaw and Katie "the Cheerleader" Couric are great newshounds, right, don't'cha think? Shit. But anyway, we watched the great interviewer Matt "Where's My Mirror?" Lauer, about as dumb a son of a bitch as you'll ever see publically displayed and idolized daily--whoaa, I forgot, it's the same network Donald Trump's on--oh Jesus, and Martha "That's a Gooooood Thing--Cell Dyke" Stewart--and, Holy Hypocrites, Ellen Degenerate--are on the same network--Holy Jesus, talk about dumbasses in the public spotlite--Matt Lauer at least captures the blue-haired mamma and the Gay markets.

Anyway, old Tom, retired now, is so F-ing wealthy he doesn't know what to do with his spare time so he goes on adventures!!! Oh shit, get the wide-angled shovel out, here it comes. Anytime you hang around filthy rich bastards, you're sure to come across these adventurer types; you know, climbing mountains, having fake air battles in stunt planes out over the Atlantic (they do, we know of a group of Wilton, Connecticutt billionaire CEOS who have done this), or motorcycling across Siberia--in old Tom's dumbass case it's whitewater rafting---ooooh, Tom, how scary; yet, Tom managed to put an adventure together that took the lives of two people--one of 'em an asshole buddy of Tom's--on the Salmon River in Idaho--and Tom's truly grieving over the tragedy one of his rich-boy stunts caused, showing his manly standing by makin' the best out of remorse with a book!--or at least a lot of talk show appearances--by a mirror-struck, aging-pruning-up, now richer-than-the-Devil-himself, retired (read: has-been) talking head was sitting there with "Duh" Lauer bravely relating how daring he, Tom Brokaw, is and what a man he, Tom Brokaw, is--even though one of Tom's dearest friends and his adventure guide died because they joined Tom in this folly, all Tom toots mostly about is his own battle with death when he was thrown from his sissy raft into the drink and how he was being pulled under but he was so powerful'a swimmer--we kept shouting at the teevee, "You old pompous has-been ass, why don't you retire to your Montana ranch and leave we stupid dumbass teevee-watching Amuricans alone?" But we know this poor old sagging in senior ratings has-been is simply enjoying one of last hurrahs--maybe he'll get a PBS special out of it--I'm sure he filmed his adventure; he's needs the bucks flowing in big time just like we all do; he's gotta have a lot more bucks comin' in everyday than We the People do but it's still the same shit, keepin' it up--we give a shit if he dies a pauper. "Hey, Tom, try skiing downhill the Sonny Bono way!"

Teevee is such an assinine medium the way is programmed by these sleazebag cocky rich boys trying to live out their wildest fantasies while pretending to be righteous and upstanding artists--BULLSHIT--there is no ART on teevee. The different ways of killing after sexual abuse young girls or the raising of police and police investigative units to a height they have never in reality reached--the same goes for blood & guts privatized army shows, like CBS's The Unit all about how brave and patroitic a group of mercenary Amuricans ex-skinhead and Navy Seals (same as Eric Prince the head of the Blackwater Private Army, Inc.), this paramilitary unit led by an O.J.-looking black guy--I mean these guys are Rambo-tough M-F-ers--they know they have to kill or they get killed. That's the US Army message portrayed in these little Hollywood rich boy fantasies--and trust me, these are all MALE-produced, written, and acted, the men actors the really level-headed tough M-F-ers accompanied some of the hottest female cops you'll ever come across (Lyndie Englunds they ain't) who though in equal roles with the men are subjective and submissive to the MALE-dominated work environment that truly does represent most cop departments in this or any country. Do you know of a city or country with mostly women cops?

Teevee is for children, both the real kind and the adult kind. The Amurican culture is now controlled by I-pod/cell-phone-dopey children. Our sports are controlled by child-like rich men and their slave-boy players, most of whom have the mentality of children, which most of them still are at whatever, how old's Yogi Berra, 80-plus, age they live to see. Watch Pete Rose do an interview sometimes. How stupid a man is he? Yet, he's one of the greatest-ever baseball players--so what he's a gambler. George Steinbrenner owns race horses. Don't you think he gambles on his own horses? What makes ya think George doesn't put some money down on the Yankees several times a year. Oh, that's OK. George ain't no role model for our worthless children. F children we say here at The Daily Growler. When as a child...blah, blah, blah, but NOW, we ain't children no more--or are we?

thestaff
for The Daily Growler

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