The Missing Link

An email From His Wolfmanishship
"...revelations keep people interested in things, especially things that are moving constantly. I remember how as a kid I'd go down by the Texas & Pacific railroad tracks and watch the trains speeding past--only the milk trains stopped in my hometown, called milk trains because they carried fresh milk, raw milk sometimes, kept cool in special milk cars, and because of the spoilage factors in carrying fresh milk, these trains had to make every stop along the line, even the smallest dump got a stop, and my hometown got the milk trains stopping there but not the big flashy trains, like the Sunset Limited or even the Texas Special on the TeePee--these didn't stop at my hometown, they just whizzed right on through it--headed out west or back east--and they barrel-assed through town at full power--full speed ahead, hi-balling it, as the rr men called it.

"We like moving things--look at the movies--and that's what I'm referring to with my revelations statement that started off this email.

"OK, so it's me experimenting with film--thanx Wally Crackhead--I hate movies and most films--I do like Billy Wilder's approaches in the films of his I like--Seven Year Itch; Some Like It Hot--I mean look what Wilder was implying in that Some Like It Hot--actors having to work in drag--easily done by draggy actors like Jack Lemon and Tony Curtis--Wilder loved Jack Lemon, and Jack was a cool dude, a wannabe jazz pianist who was half-ass at it at best--a cool dude who wanted so badly to be a great golfer but who failed at that miserably--an actor who was forced to be an actor by his looks, by his acting experience in college, and by that being the only work he could get once he moved to NYC and went to study with Sandy Meisner or whoever was at the Neighborhood Playhouse--and Jack went to Harvard, I'm pretty sure--did you ever meet a woman or a man named Sure? Good character name--Sure A. Hell...and I'm watching current films and how sucky they are--a Batman with an Australian accent--how Fuck You Americans is that? A cartoon that was originally drawn by a bunch of New York City cartoonists--Walter Crackhead being absolutely right about that--a bunch of nice Jewish boys in a lot of comic book cases, especially DC comics--especially Mad Magazine! Mad Magazine's main message was lighten up, not to worry, one thing's for sure, it can and probably will get much worse--and thus the characters in the magazine had their trials, but they goofily didn't worry about them--the whole meaning behind slapstick--you can see this Mad Magazine-thing in the character of Homer in The Simpsons--there was one time in my editing career when I refused to put film and teevee show titles in italics--

"Crackhead gets it--I'm experimenting with film on film shot with a small digital Panasonic camera--like a bootlegger filming a film of a film from the middle row of a multiplex theater--there is a need among people to need to see things or own things before they are officially introduced--so stupid, but, hey, it keeps Apple putting out a new model iPod every 6 months--read Future Shock, a book written back in the fast-paced 70s, it'll tell you all about re-branding and re-modeling--I've worked in the ad game--you have to repromote three times a year--just after one set of ads is released you're busy on the next set--constantly promoting, flashing ads at people on a constant basis--starting with the ad room statement that always repeat the product name three times in succession about three times in a 30-second commercial or at least three times in a print ad, adding always how it's 'new and improved'--speeding things amuse us--like watching horses run their hearts to the point of explosion racing each other with humans on their backs--look at the speed at the gambling casinos--keep the games constantly moving...I've given up, however, trying to slow my film down to an almost standstill...by the way, aren't we always disappointed in characters from novels when we see them portrayed in film?--aren't we always disappointed in characters once they step out of their legends and become just plain folks?"
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thegrowlingwolf's father was N.C. Wolf. Everyone called him "New Carol" Wolf because he had written and published an "new" X-mas carol--"His Wings Blow Gifts Our Way"--it was published by a local publisher, a guy named Hugo who had the hots for N.C.'s elderly but stately and wealthy mother, Granny Alpha Mae Wolf, from North Carolina, another NC folks sometimes thought the N.C. in N.C. Wolf's name stood for. N.C. sang his carol every X-mas season at the Church of the Full Moon Christ--an independent denomination led by Pastor M.S. Ess--they met only on days when the moon was full, saying moonlight made religious experiences easier to understand--sunlight was too burning, like the fires in the pits of Holy Hell. And when N.C. sang his carol, the congregation stopped even thinking and solaced themselves in the meaning of the carol: "Lay back, don't worry, his wings will blow you gifts/ gifts of gold, gifts of silver, gifts of hard-cash green/When it's you who've been passed by, don't be sullied, don't be a stray/His wings will blow gifts your way..."

Sunday, Today
John McCain was all over the right-wing, commercial network newscasts today--he's their candidate--oh how they want Nutjob John to be president, Cap'n John the captured pilot, the pilot who after being tortured did just what the Commies wanted him to do, he made a video condemning the US's invasion of VietNam--their invasion of this nation that was in a civil war that if Ho Chi Min had been allowed to win it he was going to model his Constitution after the US's because he so admired George Washington and Abe Lincoln--oh if Ho had only known how phony those two "fathers" of our country were--George though a man of very bright political ideas was a slaveholder--grew marijuana as a cash crop--used slaves right up until his end--leaving Martha Washington scared to death, locked in her Mount Vernon bedroom after his death, afraid of a slave revolt--oh, yeah, old Martha thought that upon "I Cannot Tell a Lie" George Washington's death, his slaves would come and rape her first and then kill her. That's what she confided to General Nathaniel Greene who came to her comfort after the death of his best friend, George--Greene told her, "Hold on, honey lamb, your slaves loved George--he was so good to 'em, you know." "'Cept the ones he used to beat and the knee-grow nannies he was bangin' out in the smoke house and in the fruit cellar--check out the little hi-yeller kids running around Mount Vernon wearing periwigs and cutaway coats and trifold hats."

Same thing if the US had helped Spain fight off the Nazis, the Fascists, and Franco, there would have not been a WWII--but, oh no, Franklin Roosevelt said, no, we're not interferring in their affairs--amazingly though a cripple, Franklin at the time was banging his secretary while his horse-ugly wife was having lesbian affairs up at the Roosevelt family mansion, Hyde Park. It amazes us here a The Growler how crippled men can become so powerful they deny they're cripple to themselves--ah the power of being commander and chief of a country like the USA--how fidgety is Obama right now--on the verge of being the first black man to gain control of this White Man's Utopia (supposedly according to our Constitution)--I think Obama will get the win--looks like he's forced to take Hillary as his saddlebags for his new white horse--she's harmless--though I'm sure Trent Lott and his Mississippi God-damn faction will gripe like hell--an N-worder and a white bitch running together! "Didn't we kill old dichty Emmett Till for tellin' one of our unsoiled white ladies she was a hot lookin' piece of white ass? He was from Chicago, too, like this Osama N-worder." Oh my god, how the God of the Old South must be turning over in his old plantation grave!

I'm not usually active on Sundays, but I feel like running free today--it is a truly beautiful day in New York City--though I'm stuffed into a west side canyon and my window overlooks what else, a construction site. We're told on the Upper West Side that Mayor Bloomberg wants a new skyscraping luxury apartment building or an executive-type hotel on every block of Upper Westside Broadway and Amsterdam and West End, wherever they can destroy buildings and put up these new tacky plain, plexiglas and aluminum stud-superstructured look-alike buildings--tall but that's all--just tall, no distinquishing architecture--you can see the cheapest materials are being used to slap these things up--I swear, they all look alike--same slimy greenish and white colors to all of them--designed to sell to whoever has the money it takes to either live in them or stay in them for several days while visiting New York City. A hotel is the best investment you can make in Manhattan--hotels are going up by the 100s, literally, in New York City--a full-fledged Marriott hotel has just gone up on a neighborhood street in Queens--Brooklyn's new center city is supposed to get 11 new hi-rise hotels; Trump's new Trump City look-alikes has 7 or 8 new hi-rise hotels--Trump's lower 6th Avenue Soho Condo and Hotel is a 60-story sore thumb that will now join hands with Trump's other sore thumbs, like his tacky Glass House down on Spring Street--but, evidently, and my old pal the Red Irishman told me it's sure, if you build a hotel it's like suddenly having a blank check before you--you can fill in any amount you want on those checks. You think about it. You build an 18-story hotel--cost you let's say 40 million to build it--let's say you have 150 rooms in your hotel--the lower floors, fronts, backs, will rent for $150-a-day single occupancy--or $300-a-day double occupancy--the upper floors, the floors with the views, say the top four floors--this is where you put your suites and presidential suites and honeymoon suites and visiting dignitary suites and the CEO and tycoon suites--your big bucks at say $2,000 a night--then you have your middle-building rooms that will rent for say $250-a-night single occupancy or $500-a-night double occupancy--OK, let's say you book the hotel full every night--that would be, let's see, say 60 rooms at $150-300-a-night--let's call that $12,000-a-night--then say you have 75 rooms renting at 250-500-a-night--that's $30,000-a-night--so you're up to $42,000-a-night with 135 room occupied--then you have 15 suites at $2,000-a-night--that's $30,000-a-night--so check it out, a 150-room hotel at full occupancy would mean $72,000-a-night. So let's say you only are half-full: that's $36,000-a-night. Say you're only a quarter full--that's $18,000-a-night. 18,000 x 30 nights = $540,000-a-month! You can't make that with a hi-rise apartment building--UNLESS, you make your top 10 floors multimillion-dollar-selling condos--two penthouses say at 25-million a piece--that's where you make your money on a hi-rise luxury apartment building.

Currently running on New York City television are these creepy ads for the Kingdom of Dubai--this country has decided, according to the clean-as-a-doctor-looking young Arab sheik who's the Minister of Development, to spend 800 billion dollars in excess oil money for development--this is the nutjob Arab country that is building these huge islands on which they are then building gobs of hi-rise office buildings, hotels, and condos--on one they are building the world's largest museum of Picasso paintings--The Royal Family of Dubai has bought hundreds of Picassos and are devoting a whole huge museum to him; also the Guggenheim Foundation is building a huge museum there--and they are building a full-scale New York University on the island with the Guggenheim on it. 800 billion dollars. They could heal all the sick in the world with that kind of money. An ordinary citizen of Dubai, however, gives a shit about any poor people or sick people or people dying--fuck them--the ordinary citizen of Dubai, and this includes teenagers and college kids, receives $900,000-a-year from the Royal Family--who are the government. This is the country that is currently buying New York City's Chrysler Building! Maybe they will move it section by section to a new manmade island in Dubai. Halliburton moved there.

Dubai's ads are inviting Americans to come invest in Dubai. They have a whole island with condos they especially want to sell to Americans. It's an insulting ad since Americans right now are losing their houses by the thousands to foreclosure vultures--their dollar is skidding down to almost a worthless state now--the stock market is diving madly--down below 11,000--yet, we Americans don't seemed too worried about things--California is still on fire; yet, Schwarzenegger's big concern today is something some East Coaster said about "Callie-forn-ee-ah" and Arnie "the Steroid King" is pissed about it. Such dumb shit. And Obama is still campaigning against John McCain. Ralph Nader got a jab in saying he would help commericalize children if they'd let him debate Obama and Nutjob McCain--his theory being teevee is designed to make kids the only commercially viable things in the US--kids sell adults SUVs--kids sell us cell phones--kids are who buys these new gadgets that come out every six months, like the newest iPod--which has already revealed technical problems--all new designs rushed to market have bugs--

And, yes, commercial teevee is planning television debates already--how foolish--teevee is pro-John McCain--but Obama's advisores have advised him he'd better get the teevee-viewers's votes (as if kids voted)--and as we who watch commercial television know, these are the very dumbest Americans there are--look at how they flocked to dumbass shows like Oprah, like million-dollar giveaway shows--like Jerry-Springer-type white and black trash shows--and the constantly running infomercials, constantly being re-run, Jack LaLanne now 105 is still only 92 in his infomercials for his promoted juicing machine that bears his name but isn't owned by him--who the hell knows for sure if Jack and Elaine LaLanne juice themselves--and Jack's infomercials run 100s of times a day on all the cheapy channels but also on some of the network channels at slow times of day--like the infomercial for the Tobi--the plastic container of hot water you carry around on your shoulder to iron clothes--who the hell in their twenties-something know how to iron clothes or still iron their clothes--only on teevee shows where multi-sets of twenty-somethings live together in one-room apartments--totally unreal, but so believed by young people--dumbass Americans still struggling over who to vote for president--"Who the hell's running?" you hear from the kids trying to sell you say Depends--like one kid's show I passed by and heard one of the kids tell an old gunsel, "It's old school but cool school"--fuck a kid decided what's cool and not--like how American Idol has so corrupted our popular music that totally untalented and limp girl and boy singers are now dominating the charts, being sponsored and idolized by teenage screaming girls still in braces--even the runners-up becoming Top Ten stars overnight--even the losers on the show going on to successful recording careers--Carrie Underwood now totally accepted as the best female hillbilly singer in the world--except, she's not hillbilly to these wide-eyed, teeth-baring, crybaby kids, she's is America to these tykes.

The Dumbocrats in Washington were given the go-ahead from the American voters in 2006 to end the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, get our troops back home, and by all means, impeach BUSH!--yet, the scared-as-hell Dumbos did nothing but kowtow--go right along with everything Baby Boy "Spoiled Rich Boy" Bush wanted--the last blow to us, giving him the right to spy on American citizens with impunity to both him and the big telecoms who will be working for him on his spy team! Amazing! Dennis Kucinich is the only man in Congress with the balls to keep trying to introduce articles of impeachment and he did it again this week--his full-time job these days--yet Nancy "Rich Bitch" Pelosi (that's what it says in my Growler style sheet--"Never leave "Rich Bitch" out of Nancy Pelosi's name"--I obey--I obey eagerly--she is the richest woman in Callie-forn-eee-ah) refuses to even discuss impeachment.

And what a waste of money Hollywood is--actors going around making 20 million a picture--actors whose talent doesn't deserve that--like Jim Carey--what a piece let-down shit he became--now all so full of himself he's no longer funny--same with Eddie Murphy--at one time a damn genius of a funny guy--now, he's a limpwristed, foot-fetish-Bubble-Hill-rich UNFUNNY man--his latest movie is a BOMB. He's just not funny anymore. Success makes these good comedians suddenly think they are Thespians--actors divine--like Robin Williams--he isn't funny anymore--Billy Crystal--really never was funny except for a time in the 60s-70s when he did his impersonations--he did a great Ali and Howard Cossell routine--but then Ali got Parkinson's and Cossell kicked the bucket and there went Billy Crystal being funny.
Old Buddy Hackett stayed funny up until his end a few years back. Don Rickles is still funny--mainly due to him being about 90-years-old and trying to still be young and fiery Don Rickels, who should change his name to Don Ricketts now he's so old--but most 90-year-old men aren't funny anymore by that old and decaying age. Moms Mabley managed to stay funny old--she, by the way, is the comedian Whoopi Goldberg copycatted--Moms was a funny woman--so was Red Foxx a funny man--but not Jamie Foxx--today's young comedians?--no, they just aren't funny. Why? Because they are more focused on their acts than they are the content of their acts--see what I mean? Watch young comics today--they are all the same--the very same act--the white guys--all the same--the black guys--all the same--the girls, black, white, all the same--same attitudes, same sexual-innuendo jokes--they just aren't funny.

We live in so phony a society now--you must destruct, according to Paul Goodman the Gestaltist, in order to make new--like you tear down a building that had great sentimental value to a society and you replace it with one that absorbs the destruction it took to make a place for it and scares the public at first, though gradually, that destructive force is pushed into the background and the likeness of the building that was destroyed starts evolving out of the new building to the point that one day, one generation, this building will be accepted as the sentimental edificial icon to the probably by that time NEW society. Everything new is immediately OLD.

waltercrackpipe (no I don't resent being called "crackhead"--though the crack I'm interested in isn't the drug but the relief of an oppressed mind--like in F. Scott Fitzgerald's The Crack Up)
for The Sunday The Daily Growler

Breaking News From Our Crack The Daily Growler Newsroom
J. Al Defore on the news desk this Sunday July 13th 2008:

First: The Gil Noble Show--on Channel 7, ABC, here in New York City, ran a speech Robert Mugabe made before the United Nations Assembly in December of 2007--meeting to discuss human rights around the world--the United States UN delegates did not take their seats. Great speech. In it, we learned something we'd forgotten about Mugabe--he is a Marxist. Being a Marxist, he believes in a dictatorship of state until the state is in an operable state--the dictator setting up the priorities--workers organized first, then once the workers are organized you have to find them jobs, you have to create a national work priority--putting people to work the fastest way possible, which in Zimbabwe was through land reform--giving land to the out of work Zimbabweans--a very high unemployment rate when they first started as an independent nation--late in the going-down sun of the British Empire--Zimbabwe and Numibia being some of the last British colonies in Africa to get their independence--Mugabe being the leader of the opposition forces to Ian Smith's brutal-to-African regime named after Cecil Rhodes, Rhodesia (North and South Rhodesia at first)--the regime that Mugabe and his armies finally overwhelmed to take power and national status away from Smith and the Whites who had taken over the majority of Rhodesian land, holding it fallow, like Ian Smith owning 500 hectres of the best Zimbabwean land, the most fertile farmland, and letting it go back to the wild, owning it for political reasons and not for beneficial use. Fallow land is waste land--land that produces nothing for the commonwealth is true wealth going to waste. Land reform was the biggest rallying cry in Mugabe's march to independence. It's the same warcry of any Marxist movement, like the movement of Chavez in Venezuela and Evo Morales in Bolivia, really Marxist, under the alluring influence of Che Guevara, a very smart man, a well-educated man, a doctor by profession--much more intellectual than Castro, though Castro was no slouch in the education department--he was a lawyer by profession--he was smart like a lawyer, but he was a Marxist, too, not a Communist, there's such a difference--and he and Guevara believed in Marxist's doctrine, that so well-expressed by Frederick Engels in the Communist Manifesto--workers of the world unite--that was their banner--not the red flag--not the hammer and sickle, though the hammer and sickle stands for the workers of Czarist Russia--and Americans and American politicians have always championed the Czar and the poor Czarist Royal Family, the wimpy Nicholas, his dumbass, superstitious wife, and his beautiful daughters--and they were lovely women--and his cadet-boy sons--we love Royalty over the workers--we avoid talking about workers's rights, but we'll spend hours talking about the accidental death in Paris of a truly dumbass, ex-Brit Royal, "princess," "America's princess," and Brit fop Elton John wrote a passionate song to her, and she was so dumb she was divorced by one of the world's ugliest men in favor of fucking in the muddy fields of the Royal countryside one of the world's ugliest women--as we call her, Camilla Parker Bowells (that's what the style sheet says to call her)--and this princess was fucking stable boys and other servants around the old castle while Bonnie Prince Charlie was out in the boondocks banging Miss Bowells--coming in all ruddy and muddy and showering off together in the Prince's private quarters, "I say, don't worry, Dianna isn't allowed in here...besides, she probably out fucking the stable boys about now anyway...champagne, darling?" Fuck it that the workers of America have no places to work! General Motors has collapsed. They've left Detroit and Flint in Michigan almost ghost towns--certainly towns suddenly left to simply go down the sewer quietly, without any protest--bye-bye said Ford, too; bye-bye said Chrysler--hell they sold out to ex-Nazi carmaker Daimler-Benz--and look at our second enemy from WWII, Japan, look how well they're doing--and they lost WWII! And look at China! Wow, the irony in all that must make thegrowlingwolf cut short his growling and howl like hell for joy!

Second: Wow, so much great gossipy kind of news went on this week--DNA proves her daddy didn't kill Jon Benet! Ah hell, you're saying; yeah, so were we saying it. And poor old Patsy Jon Benet--went to her grave being looked at like, "Yeah, Patsy, we know you offed the little bitch--what she do, refuse to do a nude layout for Playboy and you and your 'murderer' husband killed her for that...shame, shame, shame." We did have a question for daddy? "Hey, Mr. Jon Benet, whatever happened to your talk show? er-ah, whatever happened to your political career?"

Third: Speaking of Jon Benets, Bon Jovi--by Golly, I think Bon Jovi is a certified "Sicilian" name--anyway, Bon Jovi, a New Jersey Bruce Springstein impersonator, gave a free concert last night in Central Park. A sea of wildass white twenty- and thirty-somethings packed the place--and an older Bon Jovi came out--still wearing Elvis leather--and brought his old band back with him--was that aging David Bryan on the keyboards?--and he did his standard, maybe second-place-finish-on-American-Idol-type show--never cared much for Bon Jovi. Thought it like Jersey drivers in New York City--how you can always tell when a driver is driving goofy that they're from Jersey; I mean that's what you immediately say--say when a car crosses over fast from an outside lane to make a turn--you almost hit them--you say, "Shit, a god-damn Jersey driver I'll guarantee you." "Yep, Jersey plates, I can see 'em from here." I guess Billy Joel was too wrecked to do it--it was for the All-Star Game Days our little man mayor is producing in hand-and-glove with Big George "Alzheimer's Yet?" Steinbrenner--with the Parade of All-Stars going up to Central Park today--it may be going on now--with Yogi Berra, Reggie Jackson (balding), Bobby Murcer--oops, Bobby died yesterday--and by the way, before you go shedding big salty tears over poor Bobby dying of cancer--hey, Bobby was one of the first big promoters of Skoll chewing tobacco when it came out and was highly promoted. In fact, Bobby even wrote a C&W song and recorded it about chewing Skoll. This is back when a chaw of tobacco was in the jaw of most ballplayers--all white then, too, remember. I don't think I have ever seen a black ballplayer chewing tobacco during a game. And Bobby was a cigarette smoker, too. Like Mickey Mantle drinking his liver into granite--then getting a liver transplant and it not taking! Like Papa John of the Mammas and the Papas getting a liver transplant and then starting drinking like a rock star again saying, hell, he had a brand new liver didn't he, he had more years of drinking to go before this new one turned to stone, didn't he?--Papa John died soon after his liver transplant. These privileged assholes live such wonderful lives and get such wonderful celebrity status until they wake up one morning with a brain tumor, or prostate cancer, or lung cancer, or whatever kind of cancer--so Bobby was a pro-tobacco dude who defied all the warnings--and they were there in his day--they put the tobacco warning signs on cigarettes back in the 1960s--the attitude of smokers is, "My grandpappy smoked 3 packs'a Luckies a day and he lived to be 99 years old." "What killed him then?" "He died of lung cancer...painful death, poor ole thing. Last thing he said was, 'Nellie [his long-dead wife], gimme a cigarette quick.'"

Fourth: From marvelousmarvbackbiter: "Caught the Mets winning their eighth in a row last night. Omar was right, he needed a Spanish-speaking manager to get that bunch of Latinos in shape--Willie Randolph couldn't speak Spanish--and there was no telling what Jerry Manual, who is Spanish and speaks it fluently, was telling those Spanish ballplayers Willie wanted from them--he was there when this team bombed on Willie--and he was there the first of the year when these Latinos refused to perform at top speed for Willie--Manual was there--an ex-MLB manager, too--fired from the White Sox--looking for a job, Willie bails him out--or Omar may have forced him on Willie--anyway, here was there at the beginning of the year so why couldn't his imput then get these guys to play like they are playing today. We said all along that the Phillies would fold--they always do--Florida, too, lately--it's always the Mets and Atlanta for that division--you think Atlanta's gonna fire Bobby Cox for not winning the pennant every year?

"Joe Torre got to first place in his division before Girardi finally got to within 5 1/2 of the totally folding Tampa Bay Rays--who it looks like need the Devil back in their name after losing 6 in a row. Joe Torre took a half-game lead over the Diamondhacks three days ago but then turned around and lost 2 in a row to fall 2 games back as of now.

"The Yankees? Well, they are the most awesome offensive team in baseball--that I give them--Alex Rodriquez knocking the cover off the ball--though he does that--gets his average up around .340 then suddenly he drops--he's at .314 right now. But they are a hitting team--Jason "Once Mr. Steroids" Giambi must be back on steroids--look how that hairs growing under his lip--hormonal juices you think?--and he's knocking the cover off the ball. Still, they made a major mistake by making a starting pitcher out of Jabo Chamberlain--I feel sorry for him when I see him pitch--he pitches great until the opposing hitters figure him out, then they belt him, yesterday he gave up a huge home run to the Toronto first baseman. He goes right to pot the minute to belt him--then he's worthless. Sorry, folks, but Joe Girardi is just not the same kind of manager as Joe Torre. Given the same team this year, Joe would have them this good--maybe better because he would have never made a starter out of Jabo--he knew Jabo and Mariano were the best closing combo in baseball--now Girardi is depending on a whole brace of unreliable relievers--to the point of putting games directly onto Mariano's shoulders and that pressures Mariano and sometimes under that kind of pressure he blows a big game.

"The Yankees are in 3rd place now--sitting behind Boston and Tampa Bay, who is still in 1st barely. When Big Poppy comes back--he's coming back next week, look out--there'll go Boston. Whatever you think of Joe Girardi, he'll keep the Yankees close--I mean, come on, with that offense--but with his pitchers, I don't think he has a chance--unless he gets somebody like Sabbathia! Why do these great American League pitchers get let go to the National League by teams like the Yankees and Boston? Payroll problems, I guess, but Milwaukee!

"Joe Torre and the Dodgers? Who knows--Arizona and the Dodgers are the two worst division leaders in the Majors--under .500 both of them. Plus it's a wild division--the Colorado Rockies were in the World Series last year and they're playing like minor leaguers right now--unreliable pitching.

Martinez looked great for the Mets yesterday. Mr. Met was all over the stands doing his stupid shit--nothing like a happy Mr. Met. marvelousmarvbackbiter."