I have a toothache. I woke up this morning with no pain at all and then I went out tonight and had Mexican food and Holy Mad Dogs of Hell if I'm not doubled up now rolling as though Holy Rolling down the aisle of a sanctified church and yowling like a cat with its tail caught in a lawnmower--and the Mexican food was lazy, my enchiladas were like eating brisket rolled in corn mush--tasteless--but where I went berserk was when I downed a ton of salty chips and that is the havoc-rendering culprit--salt raining down on my exposed tooth root--dissolving against an exposed nerve.
I've known some people who endured pain for several years, like an aunt with arthritis so bad her body was gnarled like an old windswept tree, each gnarl a knot of intense pain.
I found a bottle of oil of cloves in my bathroom--it does little to reduce the pain--though as it says on the bottle, "...it also keeps your breath smelling like cloves"--Duh! What else should oil of cloves leave your breath smelling like? Like all of us these days, I've also had a good friend die of cancer, in horrible pain both from the cancer and the chemo.
I think of some great sufferers, like Frida Kahlo! Like the two saints who were roasted almost to death and then set free that I read about years ago in Glenway Westcott's A Calendar of Saints for Unbelievers--the same book mentions a saint who they shot full of arrows and then after he survived that they beat him to death. I don't have that kind of pain, though it is toothache pain, which is certainly similar to the pain suffered by saints. The pain is duller now--still there--but deceiving with its sudden lessening--making me think it is going away when it is simply the eye of the toothache storm passing over--the more aggravating pain comes later.
Our Repugnican candidate for President, Captain John "Shot Down, Captured, and Tortured" McCain had all his teeth pulled out with pliers by the Cong. Think of the pain that poor guy suffered while a prisoner of war! My toothache still seems like the Cong are pulling my tooth out with pliers to me--"Where is the video camera, I'm ready to reveal top secrets, whatever the hell you guys want!" Ironically I look out the window of my office directly at a huge sign advertising a Vietnamese dental clinic. I'm afraid to go over there--cultural shock maybe--I can imagine, "Aha, come in...here, sit in chair...were you in VietNam War? When I was a young man, I pulled all of presidential candidate Captain John McCain's teeth--without anesthesia! So you know I'm a good dentist--lay your head back and open your mouth--nurse, where my pliers--damn, did I leave them at home in my tool box?"
The pain is slip-sliding away--I am relaxing--getting my moxie up--I'll probably spend most of the morning looking for a dentist--either that or go through a pain-endurance testing of myself. Whatever, at some point in my immediate future I will surrender to the torture this bad tooth will bring me.
Jerry Lewis Called "A Warrior of Pain"
Jerry Lewis reported “I never had a day without pain since March 20, 1965”. For decades Jerry Lewis has endured chronic pain. Underneath everything there was the Dark Knight of Pain. The lifetime of making us laugh by his physical comedy had broken his body and left only anguish. In 1966 a failed slapstick stunt on the Andy Williams television special left him almost paralysed.
Throughout the decades, Jerry had explored all types of medical options all over the world. He was desperate for relief. Like many Warriors of Pain, pain medications helped but became ineffective or the side effects were too severe.
The agony continued. By 2002, he could barely walk and despair was his constant shadow. Jerry was unable to participate in physical therapy or any activities with his family. It was at this point he turned to neurostimulation. Medtronic, a medical technology company, had developed an electronic device which is about the size of a computer mouse and is implanted under the skin connected by electrodes to points on the spine. Using a hand-held remote, the patient constantly adjusts the device to block pain-linked nerve impulses originating in the spine from making their way to the brain._________________________________________________________________
So, hey, I'm as resilliant as old Tomfooling Jerry. I'm not letting a stupid toothache ruin my fun. Where are my kids?
It is much later. My toothache has subsided. I am now back to normal--except, the tooth is still ready to growl again at any moment--say should I be tempted to eat Mexican food again anytime soon.
Pain is so a part of the existential experience.
for The Daily Growler
An email From You Know Who:
"Fire Walter Crackhead. Who gives a shit about his boring toothache? Come on, Walter, talk about your doll collection...something more exciting than a toothache. How 'bout admitting you've never screwed Madonna but you have A-Rod.
"Like why is Madonna considered so sexy? Dennis Rodman? Maybe Madonna likes to make fools out of black guys. Maybe 'doin'' old Madonna is like sticking a broomstick into the Holland Tunnel--though from the panting-dog looks on the faces of these Madonna flip-outers it seems that she's used her Cabal bullshit to put Jewish curses on their massive dicks. Madonna, remember, is in her head the next Marilyn Monroe (MM in the legendary sense)--and her star-crossed mother actually named this little Bronx slut Madonna.
"I was watching my soon-to-be-obsolete analog teevee--watching the privileged get so much free advertising--I mean how many times did they show that same-ole clip of that Jolie dumbass woman pregnant, in the South of France?--now if these sluts-married-to-male-groupies-or-stud-actors have their little bastard kids in France are those privileged little tykes French?
"I watched all the hullabaloo over Britney Spears's sister's having a baby! Wow, trailer-trash whiteys from white hambone Louisiana--just kids--being given millions of dollars before they are 21--and then we expect them to act like normal people. Kids are becoming multimillionaires at 18 and 19 now--mainly by developing computer softwares out of their natural leaning toward being playstation game whizzes. It seems all software these days is based on some gaming software. And how many new iPods do we need? Where do kids get their money? Think about how anarchists kids are?
"I'm avoiding politics. Hell, I'm incognito now. I'm nonexistent now. The perfect state, don't you think? A nonexistent half-man-half-wolf. Does that make me a legend yet? I wanna be a legend, dammit!
"Anyway, still, fire Walter--he sucks--his first two posts were brilliant. This toothache bullshit--come here, Walter, let me punch some more teeth out of your mouth and maybe punch a little commonsense into your brain at the same time.
"I'm feelin' me oats tonight, folks! S'pose you could say, me oats needs sowing, the wilder the better. See ya at the China Club! (Wasn't it originally the China White Club?). The privileged even get to keep on snortin' coke and doin' crack and shit--still they keep their jobs--except today's new Aussie Batman--oh no, a drug OD-er! Too bad--but look what fun that Aussie bastard had in the meantime? Who says, besides Rupert "Aussie White Trash" Murdoch, that Australians are great actors? Yeah, maybe that guy that played Crocodile Dundee--how quickly we forget--and that "Cracky" wack job Steve what was his name that the Devil Ray stabbed him in the heart! Good for the Devil Ray! How would you like a bulky, half-kid Aussie diving on your ass, trying catch you so he can make himself more famous--WHAM, there you human animal bastard, take one of my darts right through your swollen heart, you bastard! I agree with the Devil Ray--who I hope escaped!
"I may have to start righting things again."
Talk about pain! Here's some real pain! How about that baby chick? Is it real or a toy?
We assume this lady is now dead. But not to worry, Angelina Jolie had twins who will grow up so privileged they will never have to worry about ending up like this, unless their genes drive them to this! This woman dead is no problem for the privileged--we mean, that's why they live in the high floors and gated communities!