Monday, June 25, 2007

The Daily Growler Gossip & Grapevine Edition

In the Wind
Yes, the wind smells like fart wind--the earth may be farting all over us...the Sun is certainly torturing us--light now, but just wait in a few years all you satisfied people the Sun will teach us who's the true boss of this galaxy, who's the true God of this galaxy. In sunlight we were hatched; at the same time in darkness creatures were also hatched--creatures that have to be blind to survive--the colorless creatures of the deepest and coldest pits of our wonderful ocean system--yep, the one we are trashing--they say there's millions of tons of plastic garbage floating 'round our ocean system; the Gulf Stream--which is dissolving--it's what keeps places like Ireland from icing over--is choked with tar and oil balls, some as big as basketballs--it's choked also with plastic garbage--like plastic jugs and bottles, plastic kitchenwares, plastic garbage cans, plastic toys, plastic packaging--shrink wraps, plastic bags (fast food restaurant bags)--this shit doesn't deteriorate, folks, it just keeps on floatin' along.

Human-animal hybrids are definitely their own worst enemy besides being the worst enemy of all our other beasts cousins and forefathers and mothers, even our protozoan mothers/fathers (they mate with themselves--that's where we get our IDs from)--and also the planet earth's worst enemy--except we don't think we are gonna successfully destroy the evil earth (the home of all the evil and darkness and devils and heathen practices)--and even all the pig-jowled white-blubbery Holy Roller Christian preachers say "Gawd ain't gonna destroy the earth; his son's coming back out of the clouds on a big white horse (from Heaven's best stables, we'll bet) to become King of the Earth"--which will automatically push the button that releases the trapdoor under this instinct-turned-into-a-legend character called the Devil ("Up jumped the Devil in a brand new Cadillac...") pops open and flushes Old Ned right on down the shute that leads straight to Holy Hell, the Lake of Fire (now a gated community being hawked by teevee's own Eric Estrada--it's somewhere down in Arkansas--where else could Hell be?) and then that's that and King Jesus takes over with good Christians like Adolph Hitler and Dick Nixon as his consultants--oh, and by then George W. Bush will certainly be King Jesus's Commander in Chief. We ask, by the bye, who is the keiko-muckity muck of the Holy Roller hierarchy now that Brother Jerry "Pass the Lard" Falwell's been called home to sit at the feet of Jesus and Big Daddy and to receive his Utopian uptown mansion?--"Yep, Jerry old pal, your mansion (designed by Saint Tammy Fay Bakker) is right down at the Deep South end of Solid Gold Boulevard (Father Flotsky Boulevard) at the corner of Rare Emerald Street (Dr. Gene Scott Street). Go, my blubbery son, and enjoy your mansion we've saved for you up here--and try some of Minister Louis Farakhan's She-bazz Fried Fish and Chicken from his take-out place he runs with Brother Lester "Axhandle" Maddox-- while you're down that way--or there's Rabbi Schneerson Lehman's BBQ Rib Joint down there, too; or, hellfire, Jerry, my boy Jesus runs a place called Fish and Loaves down there, all his virgin wives run it--oh, Jerry, baby, you wouldn't need a Protestant would you?...heh, heh, a little God the Father humor, Jere, of course I mean prostitute--how 'bout one of Mary Magdalene's girls coming over to break you into your new big lonely mansion?"

So don't worry, we're not going to destroy the world, just work like dogs to try and destroy it. So, folks, keep on letting the Korean deli owners give you tons of plastic bags--plus those big plastic bottles of Poland Spring we elites have to drink now that Perrier has been proven to be Paris tapwater that's been electrified to give it its bubbles. Human animals are fascinated by bubbles, ever notice that?

Interesting Dude
Rocky Anderson, the Mayor of Salt Lake City is an interesting qwerky kind of dude--Salt Lake City--that's in Utah-Mormon Territory--a beautiful city actually, and weirdly populated, too--why it's the great-dumbass Oren Hatch's home state--and the somewhat home state of presidential front-runner Mitt "More than One Wife's True Democracy" Romney--but the Mayor of Salt Lake City is a Dumbocrat, though he's not very proud of that right now, and he's an outspoken critic of Georgie Porgie Bush, our never honestly elected "president" (if there is such a thing as an honest election--and we at The Daily Growler know there is nothing honest in this Capitalist life we Americans are forced to endure--it's all lies--all fiction as thegrowlingwolf has recently started growling). The Mayor of Salt Lake City--his name is Rocky Anderson--is pissed at the Dumbocratic Party for being ninnies instead of following the people's mandate in the Nov. 2006 elections to get us out of Iraq and to also go ahead and impeach the Bush-Cheney assholes ASAP--to which Nancy "Rich Bitch" Pelosi started saying in her forced-man-like way of speaking--tough bitch talk--"Oh no, impeachment is not on the table...oh no, no, no, in fact, I'm sticking my pretty nose up Georgie Porgie's dark and smelly ass and doing some heavy brownnosing because I'm a tough bitch woman who admires handsome men like George W. Bush and handsome Slick Willie Clinton..." and she swoons over rich evil men like Unka Dick and she swoons over men in uniforms and she's into guns as substitute penises, which, since she has 5 kids or so, I'm sure she's very familiar with the importance of having a penis, the bigger the better--we, apologize--but this is why she is ineffectual as a leader of an impeachment movement--especially since the Dumbocrats are getting richer and richer off all this war--they try and still see the War in Iraq as righteous the same way they accept the War in Afghanistan as good and righteous and moral and it's OK to get rich riding this out-of-control stock market that is zooming daily inspite of bankruptcies, foreclosures, the national debt, etc. being at their highest ever points--personal debt also is out of control--and the stock markets keep zooming up and correcting themselves always in favor of the big-money gangs--of which Nancy Pelosi (the richest woman in California) is a member--that's how she makes her wealth (her paper worth)--now Billy Jeff and Hillary RodHAM Clinton are rich, too, though nothing like Princess Nancy...oops, we apologize--Princess Diana, that precious spoiled fool brat, is America's princess...what a joke it is to see Tiny Brown talking about Prince Hairy Dick and Prince Billy Boy--Tina Brown, that English bitch who almost ruined the American spirit of the New Yorker, if she didn't--we're sure old Harold Ross is rollin' over in his prairie-state resting place, kissing these little privileged brats and young fops bony asses, but in that British know-it-all attitude--"I say, I'm sure Prince Hairy and Prince Bonnie Billy are sophisticated enough to bear up under the salacious things they are subjected to about their dear sweet mother, on whom I have recently finished a book, by the bye...oh yes, it's in the stores now...about America's princess and what a poor sweet little naive regular-old-girl-type girl she was--I mean, dearie, she went out and let the stable boys at Buckingham have some royal you-know-what--now that's being just a regular gal--sure she had affairs with the more elite, too, but I'm sure Bonnie Prince Charles has set them down and explained to them why he chose to bang the rather common (equinish-looking) looking Camilla Parker Bowels out in a mud field rather their mother's nice long tall and pretty well-built body and certainly willing to open those divine gates to so divine a man in Buckingham's scented silk sheets."

So get rich quick off these horrible killing wars like all the politicians and corporate executives and lobbyists and government-patsies and even big-star generals, Bill Gates...

Hey, we have a question, why can't the American people have the same job security as the members of our government? Why can't Americans have the same kind of great health coverage we give these birds. Look at Unka Dick--this son of a bitchin' rich bastard has had 5 heart attacks and wears a pacemaker--he just got a new upgraded one--expensive fucking health bills if you've got that bad a heart condition--a look at him--we mean, come on, he goes bird-shooting all over the world, he's always having to go over to kiss the Royal Family of Saudi Arabia's ass constantly--also going on his famous unannounced drop-in to the Baghdad war zone--still drinking--and he's very well taken care of, the best heart doctors in the world taking care of him and what do you bet We the People of the USA are paying for his health coverage as vice-president--hell, this tinhorn bastard still gets a pension from his days in Congress--so why can't we have such great health coverage. Castro gets it, too, so it ain't got nothing to do with whether you're a commie leader or an authoritarian leader.

So the Mayor of Salt Lake City, Rocky Anderson, says he's pissed off at the Dumbocrats for not impeaching this troop of clowns now running this nation into the ground--blatantly, and right in front of our noses--mocking us all the while to do something about them! Fuck off, the vice president says; and then the phony president chimes in with his Fuck off --those Fuck offs are meant for We the People, folks. No matter what we want, we ain't getting it from our politicians who are all the same and we don't care what color their skin is--they are all the same; they are all liars--big-time liars.

The trouble with Rocky Anderson, he claims he's a personal friend of Mitt Romney's and he just can't believe his old pal Romney who Rocky sez is a progressive is saying the things he's saying, like doubling the size of Gitmo--it's not the Mitt Rocky knows--Rocky seems to really like Miz Romney, too.

Here's another problem with Rocky. He met Mitt when Mitt was head of the Salt Lake City Winter Olympics yeah back a decade now--they worked together on putting that Winter Olympics together. Wasn't that a very scandalous affair, the way they bought off the Olympic Committee members to get them to vote for Salt Lake City? We think there was. So what ho, Rocky old boy?

Check out the mayor's website:

Isn't It Interesting
How there are no campaign discussions on whether Bush-Cheney-Rove stole both elections--2000 and 2004, which we all know they did--it's so obvious--and that the Dumbocrats actually won both those elections--and how neither Dumbo candidate, Al "The Loser" Gore (now the darling of the liberal blog-writing Dumbocrats) or John "The Double Loser" Kerry, made any kind of backbone stance against the Blitz Krieg Repugnicans--and especially the counts in Florida and Ohio where there was without a doubt tons of voter fraud with the owner of Diebold, the company that was running all the electronic voting machines, standing up and openly saying he would make sure Bush won Ohio--and by God, Bush did.

The Dumbos are rich wimpy rich men and women--and as such they are Plutocrats, same as the Repugnicans and their very Plutocratic form of running a government.

The cry of the Neo-Cons is "LOWER all wages! Produce MORE and MORE. Lower all wages again and again. Push the US economy into the garbage can with all the fucking plastic that goes with it. BRING BACK THE OLD PLANTATION--when the white man could actually own human beings and could force them to eat the shit right out of his ass if he so wanted. Old Massah's shit has to be caught and preserved same as the Dalai Lama's once was in old time democratic Tibet."

50 Greatest Sports Jerks of All Time (from CBSSports website)
Go to:
Our favorite was Albert Belle the baseball player:
44. Albert Belle -- This from former New York Times baseball writer Buster Olney: "It was a given in baseball circles that Albert Belle was nuts. ... The Indians billed him $10,000 a year for the damage he caused in clubhouses on the road and at home, and tolerated his behavior only because he was an awesome slugger. ... He slurped coffee constantly and seemed to be on a perpetual caffeinated frenzy. Few escaped his anger -- on some days he would destroy the postgame buffet ... launching plates into the shower ... after one poor at-bat against Boston, he retreated to the visitor's clubhouse and took a bat to teammate Kenny Lofton's boom box. Belle preferred to have the clubhouse cold, below 60 degrees, and when one chilly teammate turned up the heat, Belle walked over, turned down the thermostat and smashed it with his bat. His nickname, thereafter, was 'Mr. Freeze.'"

franny&zoe, the two-headed girl reporter
for The Daily Growler

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