Foto by tgw, New York City, November 2010
Behold Ourselves...the George W. Bush Interview With Prince Charmin' Matt Lauer
America must not ignore the threat gathering against us. Facing clear evidence of peril, we cannot wait for the final proof, the smoking gun that could come in the form of a mushroom cloud.
George W. Bush
Ex-Faux-President George W. Bush has to be one of the strangest dumbest idiots in the Universe. How dumb can dumb get? I dared to watch a bit of plastic newsman (sic) Matt Lauer's interview with Georgie Porgie. Twice I turned it off after the Most-Idiot-Bush among the Idiot Family of Bushes started explaining why he authorized waterboarding, as he so proudly dumbly is admitting to as he goes about book touring, peddling his worthless, waste-of-trees, sweet-fucking-though-moneymaking memoirs, How I Stole Two Elections...er-ah, we jest, of course--Decision Points. Can you imagine the PR firm dude who came up with that title for the ghostwriter to work off of? There must have been a ghostwriter because there's no way in hell George W. Bush, that crap-for-brain, could write a book, no matter how juvenile it was written. So there has to be a ghostwriter. Maybe Pickles?
It was both maddening--oh the growling I did--and gratifying--in an "I told you so" sense--watching and listening to this American embarrassment of a human monkey--though even monkeys don't want me claiming that miscreant's kin to them. "He didn't come from no monkeys I know," one jibed at me when I mentioned I might write a blog post about our ex-Faux-President in which I would compare him to maybe a chimpanzee. Another monkey howled at me, "Come on, Wolf Man, Cheeta's ten times smarter than that poor excuse of a misfire. Too bad it wasn't his fetus in that jar his mother showed him."
Monkeys can be cruel. But then so can such dumb men like G.W. Bush. Yet, I looked at him perhaps from a different angle than others--from my angle, I could see the many arms going up this poor little spoiled rich brat's ass, assuming as I did those arms were working the many different working parts of this dummy--like making his mouth move in sync with the dumb shit coming out of it. Jerry Mahoney had more wit than this little wooden man.
I mean he authorized waterboarding 'cause a lawyer told him it was not torture. "I'm not a lawyer, so...." G.W. tried to explain to equally confused Matinee Matt Lauer, who actually seemed to try and pin old Georgie Porgie down, but then Georgie got a pout on and said he wasn't going to say anymore about it and then went into his explaining how his mother had showed him a fetus in a jar...WHOAAAAAAA. Right then and there I slapped my forehead. The word "dunderhead" kept cruising through my growl-fevered brain. What is the fascination with this fool? Later today (it has already happened), I'm told, Okra, er-ah, sorry, I mean, Oprah, I call her Okra 'cause she ain't that bright a woman though she is very rich so to hell with what I think of her--and I say more Power to her 'cause she's getting so fat she's not gonna be around with us much longer after she retires and gets the gout and then puffs up until her blood pressure blows her fuses.... So later today (it happened already), Okra, there I go again, Oprah's going to interview Georgie Porgie Puddin' Head along with old Pappy himself...and damn, Mammy Babs, too. I wonder if Mammy will bring along that jar with that fetus in it? Wouldn't that be cool?--oh what ratings that would get Okra! "Oh, now word up here," Mammy will up and say suddenly. "You know, Okra honey, I've always admired your people, let me say that from the very bottom of my cold, cold heartless heart. That's why I thought I'd do you a favor, in terms of ratings, babe." "Oh, Mammy Babs, what you got in yo' purse, girl?" I'm not good at doing Oprah, I'll admit it, but, hey, I've started this, now I've got to finish it. So anyway, Oprah will carry on about how proud and privileged she is to have two ex-Presidents, both idiots, but also to have the first mother..."Oh, Mammy, what the hell you pullin' on my show?" "Okra, I'm pullin' this...." With that she pulls out this fruit jar. "Oh, my Lawdy-Lawd, Mammy, is that what I think it is?" Little Georgie joins in, "Oh, mommy, not that damn fetus...is that dang thang still floatin' around in that thar jar?"
Oh what a show. I will miss it. I'm too brilliant a mind to waste it on taking verbal pokes at this waddling threesome who combined have brought such crass overseering pain to this whole country. This little dumbass man sitting there in front of the cameras saying the stupidest bullshit you've ever heard and instead of being here and challenging this idiot and what he says and giving us a review of this idiot's memoirs, our President is off hustling arms to Indonesia today--the world's largest Muslim nation. One rightwing commercial press headline said, "Obama at Home, Holds Hand Out to Muslims." There ya go, the Indonesian-Muslim is finally showing his true allegiance--he is a Muslim and he is now an Indonesian. Poor old Obama. He's too damn dumb to get off his "Forget the past, I'm looking toward the future," a future we've been denied by this little evil bastard and his evil-bastard family--parasites they are--sucking We the People's national blood dry. I say throw the book at the whole Bush Family.
for The Daily Growler