The Daily Growler Ranking the Perpetually Running Politicians

Ranking 'em Raw
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Wow, I was sitting here reading Baby Bush's State of the Union speech. None of the perpetual presidential candidates have even bothered to mention it or to say what a sleazy piece of propaganda it is. Nor have they mentioned this little spoiled rich brat loser's "over the brink" budget he has just sent to the House (remember, it's the House of Fools, no matter their party affiliation) where he has a better-than-good chance of getting it passed--and this budget will set us back to the Stone Age economically and will certainly cause another Great Depression. Remember Repugnican Hoobert Heever (another spoiled brat rich boy married to a little white rich bitch society dame), America's first Neo-Con, let this country slide full-face-first into that disruptive "great" time, all the while he and Madame Hoover claimed they hated poverty and hated to see people starving to death said while he and the misses were out on a friggin' yacht or he was off in Alaska somewhere hooking live fish by their mouths--a sharp killer of a hook--humans almost die when a fishhook grabs their ass and stings them and makes them bleed and sometimes swell up and turn black and gangrene blue, but think about a fish with a sharp hook impaled in a his or her mouth--hooked into its jawbone, or through its upper mouth and into its one-tracked fish brain, an irritation [Kurt Cobain said it was all right to eat fish because they had no feelings] that compels the hooked fish to try and wrench the hurting hook out of its mouth by flailing about and then leaping high into the air twisting and turning, trying to shake out that hook, while the dumbass fisherman with his $2000 rod and reel in his $20,000 fishing boat hollers, "Wow, look at that son of a bitch fight me," and I say hell yeah, you'd do the same thing if the fish had a hook in your mouth and was trying to pull your ass into his boat so he could club you in the head till you're dead, then gut you, filet you out, fry you in a deep hot as hell gob of pig fat and then eat your ass while getting drunk on bourbon and beginning to tell wild fish then sex stories around the old "whites only" campfire--old Hoover--and Hoover left this country in the doldrums--Condo Leasing Rice, by the bye, went to Stanford (old Hoover's alma mater) thanks to the Hoover Foundation--does anybody know the mission of the Hoover Foundation? Didn't Dick Cheney get little Condo into Stanford?

So anyway--OK, I stuck out Super Tuesday, in spite of all the horrible diarrhea that was spewed out by the media screwballs, the talking-head numbskulls, especially guys like Meatball Head George Will (and believe me, he won't), Georgie Porgie "Clinton-Brown-Noser" Stephanopolus (pardon my Greek), and that cockeyed-looking prunefaced pundit on Jim Lehrer's Gannett-owned News Hour on PBS--what's his name? with the glasses and the smashed-looking face? That other guy, too, the rightwing always-wrong tall pale-face geek--I mean, come on, folks, even these PBS jerks are millionaires--Jim Lehrer's a millionaire because of that show--come on, these rich assholes control our everything--but especially our politics, our communications, our economy, our government, our cities, our lands, our waters, our forests, our natural resources--a nation's commonwealth, though the United Snakes is not a commonwealth in the sense New York State is a commonwealth, which means the wealth of the state belongs to the citizens of the state through whose charters this wealth is contracted for or leased out (check out Henry George's Progress and Poverty, a masterpiece)--but, of course, long gone is that concept--a British concept.

And the bullshit was piling up deep all over the television networks, every channel, even the dinky channels like the WB or whatever its new branding is or the old UB network, which I think is now owned by Fox--Ion TV? Don't you love those Madison Avenue wits? Or My TV, whatever the hell that means--anyway, even those public-money-draining networks were covering Super Tuesday.

Most of the night, the double-tongued pundits were gloating over Old Whacko Cap'n John McCain's winning high and mighty over Mormon Mitt and Mike "the Crazy Baptist" Huckster-bee--why, Ron Paul even came in 2nd in some obscure state like Montana, but oh boy were the babblers cock-a-doodle-dooing their asses off about "What a comeback for John McCain" [has anyone punned on John's "Cain and Abel" sides?] who was once down flat on his back with Mitt Romney's Mormon bootheel on his pig-fat neck--and check the Cap'n's neck out--whooo, looks like the Cap'n's been hitting a lot of those Capitol Hill banquets and drinking bouts where tablefuls of rich foods that cost We the People a Holy Fortune every year sit waiting so these worthy constituents can wine and dine killers and crooks and scumbags (remember Chalabi?) and chislers and flim-flammers and of course the brown-nosing corporate bribers in style--you'd get the gout if you lived such a life on your money--but look at these spoiled brats--they drink booze by the gallons, the eat high-fat foods and thick creamy trans-fat-soaked deserts then they drink another couple'a gallons of booze, every night, smokin' a lot, too--I'll bet McCain's a cig smoker--and a heavy drinker. He's not a coke head--he was brought up military, but military dudes are all notorious boozers--a "kill or be killed" attitude sometimes demands strong belts of alcohol to keep that "Anchor's Aweigh" gung-honess going--Mrs. McCain's pappy is a liquor and beer man in Phoenix so it's pretty easy to find a quick shot or nip when you're around the McCains. The Bushes, too, don't worry; except there's evidence in Pickles's past that shows she loved the evil weed during her high school and college days and maybe a six-pack of cold Coors Banquets--so did I--and, of course, we know about the phony "president's" preference for rocks of pure Bolivian-refined white powder, something hundreds of thousands of once-young-men are sweating out long terms for using and abusing in our overcrowded, privatized prisons--there's probably tons of coke-snorting going on in the District of Corruption as I type this now--but that's OK, those are blessed people up there in our nation's Holy Land--snortin' a little coke is simply a way of relaxing so they can level out as they think up new harsh and prohibitive laws to rain down on our lowly asses.

Such bullshit--and it was coming at me from every angle--Obama crowing about how he won; Hillary RodHAM Clinton (Slick Willie-ette) was cawing about how she won and she was the new direction--and I'm thinking, Hill, honey, you've been a Senator from New York State for two terms; what the hell did you do during that time to lead us in a new direction? You said we had to get Saddam just like the little jerk phony "president." You've consistently gone along with Yeehawing Doctor Howard Dean and the Dumbocrat National Committe--they pick the candidates anyway--they seat the delegates--the Dumbocrats have what they call "superdelegates" who include Slick Willie and Bro Jimmeh Cahtah 'cause they are ex-presidents, and governors and mayors and big party backers, too, are automatically delegates--and the election comes down to who those superbigshots back. I'm sure Hill's got Slick Willie's balls tightly in her grip so you know she'll get his backing even if Obama wipes her ass clean as a whistle during the rest of this political circus. I get so pissed off when I hear Hill pontificating--"Hey, Hillary, your pussy-brained husband certainly knew Saddam and dealt with him, and your husband certainly bombed the hell out of the Iraqis, bombed the hell out of the Afghanistanis, bombed the hell out of Bosnia and Serbia, sent troops into Somalia--yeah, Arkansas Hillbilly Billy Jeff Clinton gave us the Patriot Act and I swear took away the right of habeas corpus I think though I damn sure remember how he wanted to. Slick Willie's the guy who started making us strip before we could get on airplanes--you know why? Richard Clark was one of Clinton's ways-of-the-terrorist expert investigators and who was kept on into Georgie Porgie's stolen first term in the same capacity--collecting info on the various possibilities of a terrorist group attacking the US of A and we're talking years before 9/11. Just this week, it's revealed in new 9/11 Commission documents that Richard Clark had told Condo-Leasing Rice that the Clinton Administration had reliable information that Bin Ladin was planning an attack within the US using hijacked airliners. Condo-Leasing Rice in testifying before the 9/11 Commission (headed up by The Repug Whitewasher, Lee Hamilton) claimed yeah she knew about that report and she knew the phony president saw it, too, but she didn't remember if she showed it to him or told him about it--LIAR, LIAR--oh what crass stupidity--I mean, these are baldface lying sons of bitches--including Condo-Leasing Rice--and yesterday revelations were spilled that good ole military nutjob Colon's Pal was lying like his old VietNam War self about all that bologna about Iraq and Weapons of Mass Destruction (oooooh--I'm'a scared when the USA has more Weapons of Mass Destruction in our stockpiles than all the other nuclear powers in the world put together) when he corrupted the troop death rates to justify his Master over there, old Lighthorse General Westmoreland (an Old South Gen'l from the very Confederate and pro-War Clemson College), needing hundreds of thousands of more troops as cannon fodder in that evil little trumped up war--the Gulf of Tonkin? does that ring a bell--it was a big fabrication, but that's been swept under the table. Cap'n John McCain won't discuss that--hell no, he's totally military--he's warped, folks, as warped as a snake is guaranteed crooked at night.

Looks like old Slick Willie's racist attact on Barrack Obama worked a little bit--got a lot of black women away from Barrack's camp--and white women--Barrack may sexually scare a lot of progressive white women. And remember, too, it'll be "Osama" if Obama's the presidential candidate and the Swift Boaters start in on him--the Swift Boaters are ex-military men remember; Eric Prince, the founder and CEO of billion-dollar-rich-now-thanks-to-We-the-People Blackwater, is an ex-Navy Seal. Just think, this is a poor little rich brat whose daddy made the family fortune is a man so rich he was able to form his own god-damn army--an army bigger than most of the armies of the nations of the world and with certainly better equipment and with certainly more bucks--I mean Blackwater just got a 20 million dollar contract from Condo-Leasing Rice's State Department. For security.

Do you realize what these perpetual presidential campaigns are costing We the People tons and tons of monies--Bill Clinton, for instance, gets Secret Service protection every where he goes, as do Hillary and Obama and Cap'n John and Mitt and Mike the Baptist--yep, they get Secret Service protection, plus Bill gets a stipend from us to run his Harlem office and the people who work for him.... 2 billion dollars I saw it estimated these fools are going to blow before this perpetual campaigning is over--which would break Georgie Porgie's rich boy spending record of 800 million bucks to steal the election of 2000. Already these campaigners are blowing 500 million bucks up to Super Tuesday.

So who won? Nobody. There's your answer. Nope, nobody won. Check out the delegates--Hillary has 600 or so and Obama has 596 and California's still not in and Missouri was tumbling over to Obama's side at last look. The networks were declaring Hillary the Dumbocrat candidate already, saying Obama gave it a stellar try but he was made a loser by Hillary's big wins in NY, NJ, and the Big CA, and Cap'n John "Whoops Did I Do That?" McCain was being trumpeted as the dark horse who thanks to getting the support of America's mayor, Adolph Mussolini Guiliani, now has a better-than-thought chance of toppling Hillary the Bleeding Heart Liberal in the election--and they all had their fingers crossed, too, while praising to high heaven the good military hero, Navy Failed Flyboy McCain. Cap'n Georgie Porgie Bush was a Texas Air National Guard pilot, remember--remember, too, during the infamous "Mission Accomplished" photo-shoot it was rumored Baby Bush actually landed that 20 million dollar jet plane on that San Diego-anchored carrier named after Honest Abe Lincoln, which would be illegal for him to do if he did do it, and then he danced out on deck wearing a US Air Force official flight suit--with a banana in his crotch--which also is illegal--hell, that asinine incident alone should have gotten him impeached.

Cap'n John McCain is for a "hundred years" war in Iraq and Afghanistan--oh boy, oy vey, John McCain as president--you thought Eisenhower was a lazy fool--playing golf most of the time he was supposed to be in the White House--hell, Ike even built with We the People's money a full-size golf hole and green on the White House lawn--what a wasteful military-minded fool--or you thought Gerald Ford (another never-elected "president") couldn't walk and chew gum at the same time, wait till you see McCain try it--he'll probably crash and burn and take several platoons down with him when he does. Like Bush trying to ride a Seque. When John McCain bails out of a predicament, remember, he lands in a worse one.

It's so sleazy, even I get sick writing about it.

Remember, Crime Does Pay--and did you check out Karl "Ain't I a Wanted Criminal?" Rove as a pundit on Fox "Australia-in-America" News? Shouldn't Karl be in prison and not working at a big-buck salary spewing out his lies and misjudgments into the ears of America's truly diaper-wearing, thumb-sucking dumb--American hicks who let a Brit fop, an American disco-queen has-been, and a black man no one ever heard of before that show pick their popular singers?--I mean, come on, people who watch Fox News and trust it are idiots, but then, we're all created equal in this country, so, hell.

Your idiot reporter,
politicalpunditwaltercrackpipe
for The Daily Growler

Baseball Season Is Upon Us Once Again
Hide your steroids, folks, another wild baseball season is just up around the corner at the end of February when the millionaire catchers and pitchers have to show up at training camp down in Flouride-a and out in Arizony. This year's gonna be interesting. Will the owners figure out a way to keep the steroids flowing and the big hitters tapping out over 50 or more a year?--except last year I think rookies, except for A-Rod's American League lead, led the home run derby--like Prince Fielder, Cecil (pronounced "Sessel") Fielder's son--hope he ain't on steriods, but he's an awfully big boy for his age.

The Yankees. We were big Yankees fans in past years but this year we're pissed Yankees fans--the old-time Yankees, the Babe Ruth Yankees, the Rajah Maris Yankees and the Mick Yankees, the Reggie Jackson Yankees, the Donnie Baseball Yankees, are over, when Phil Rizzuto died the old Yankees died with him. The House That Ruth Built will be no more after this year when the Yanks move into their new billion-dollar stadium given to George Steinbrenner and his family by the taxpayers of New York City. So these will be New Yankees to us--with Joe Gerardi as manager--we'll see--we could easily turn our attention on the Mets--it's Willie Randolph still and it is a Yankee-like baseball team now--and with American League hurler Santana now to boot--well, like when the Mets got Saberhagen--remember that? and Saberhagen proved to be a has-been, burnt-out bum--I hope Santana isn't gonna flip, flop, and fizzle out on 'em like that--like El Puque did with them--like Pedro did to them--what a waste of time and money Pedro was. We'll see, though; the Mets have an even classier ball team than last year and don't forget last year they led the league for most of the year--the two best teams in baseball last year for most of the season on paper were the Mets and the Yankees.

No more humiliations is all we ask of this coming baseball season. We'll have an eye on the hated Los Angeles Dodgers. If Joe Torre takes them to the World Series we'll be hollering "We told you so, you fool, Steinbrenner, you jack-ass"--and won't it be fun to see Willie against Joe when the Dodgers come to town to play the Mets! Wow, we might even attempt to go to those series!

marvelousmarvbackbiter
Sports Pundit for The Daily Growler