This is the 100th Posting of The Daily Growler this year.
Ah, Ye Disbelievers
Did you consider Hell a figment of the religious nutjobs's fanatic imagination? Well, think again; the nutjobs have always contended that this world belongs to a guy they call The Devil, and now I think they're right and I think I know who the Devil is and I think you do too--I believe in hoodoo, remember. Some of nutties call him Satan. I to this day don't understand the Devil. According to the professors of biblical fiction, he was originally named Lucifer (yep, he was named after the phospherous match) and boy howdy, he was the cat's meow up in Heaven, especially with Heaven's East Coast Greenwich Village crowd, or its West Coast Castro crowd. He was, according to the old Hebrew talespinners, such a handsome devil some stupid angels started worshipping him and turning their winged backs on the real Big Daddy. The Devil was so handsome and he was getting such great worshipping that he got the big head (he was an "angel" then--and people who believe in angels can certainly believe an angel can turn into a devil but not vice versa) and formed an army--yep, they do have wars in Heaven--and he and his soldiers of Heavenly fortune went up against Big Daddy and his Swiss Guard, dressed a la Richard M. Nixon. I am assuming that all heavenly beings in the original Heaven were males since when the Christian God made Man he made first a male only; the female came later at the request of the first-made MAN, the alpha man, or Adam.
So they had this big war in Heaven. Big Daddy's troops were led by an archangel named Michaelangelo--I'm not joking--and Big Mike and Big Daddy's Swiss Guard kicked the Devil and his renegade angels's asses, whipped 'em good, and as a result, Lucifer lost his wings and as further humiliating punishment, Big Pappy suited him up in a red suit with a pointed red arrow-tipped tail, a head piece fitted out with the horns of Moses coming out of his forehead, and forced him to carry a pitchfork [I never thought about it, but according to the old Hebrew talespinners, Big Daddy must have invented the pitchfork]. And in Big Daddy's Supreme Court, Big Daddy judge and jury, Lucifer was branded the Devil and sentenced to the pits of a place Big Daddy said he was building especially for the Devil's eternity called Gehenna, or, in plain ole English, Hell, where the Devil and his crowd would burn in Hell's infamous Lake of Fire--except, Big Daddy did respect Lucifer's faithful angelic servitude prior to his "falling," and he allowed Lucy, as the boys called him, to keep his ability to transform himself into beasts and reptiles, scary creatures Big Daddy had already cursed before Lucifer's excommunication; oh, and how could I have forgotten having already mentioned living on a goat ranch, he could also take the form of the male goat, then legendary in Heaven for its extreme randiness.
Since Big Daddy hadn't finished building Hell yet, the Devil got another break. Big Daddy said before he sent him to Hell, he was going to banish him to Earth, the planet where Big Daddy's Garden of Eden would be some day. It's very confusing, folks. It's sort of like I can't understand how Gitmo is on Cuban soil, leased from Castro. That's weird to me same as this Garden of Eden being on earth yet the earth being the Devil's possession. Why doesn't Castro kick us off the island? Doesn't that make you wonder about Castro? Since when does Castro respect long-term leases?
Big Daddy said the Devil could have the Earth for his own and he could challenge the mission of Big Daddy's only son when he sent him to Earth for his predicted death on the cross--even though Big Daddy didn't have a son then, though one assumes he must have been planning on having a son--the Messiah, come on, though that would make no sense to me either. Since God already had Heaven, an immense place we assume, why the Hell did he give a shit about this pimple-on-the-ass-of-the-universe planet called Earth? I mean unless you believe this is the only planet in the universe--well, hell, it is the only planet human beings, whether human-animal hybrids or normal humans and all the creatures of the field and jungle, can survive--I mean, I'm really confused now. Since this is the only place human beings can survive in the universe, why isn't the earth Heaven? Why isn't it Paradise? Shangra La. Nirvana. Oh, I forgot, Heaven is an invisible planet in an invisible universe--in one of those biblically hidden star systems--where humans can survive, since, I suppose, Big Daddy is a human, right? No? You say he's a superbeing beyond human comprehension? Yet, we're the best this dude could come up with, us pitiful bunch of scared-to-death warring sorry bastards, except for a number of us who are superhuman beings--I know several superhuman beings and I'm glad to have them as friends.
So the Devil gets the earth and he gets us with the earth since Big Daddy sentenced the Devil to a time on earth, giving him princely power of it, before he's shipped to the Lake of Fire for the rest of eternity (which we're all living in at the moment, you see). Our only salvation from going en masse with the Devil to Hades is simply believe that a Nazarene Jew named Joshua ben Joseph is the only "living" son of Big Daddy's, which you show after you're 12-years-old by letting one of Big Daddy's messengers dunk you under water, and when you come up out of the water you are given a free ticket (on the Glory Train--or on the Old Ship of Zion, depending on your take on it; I've never heard mention of a Jetliner to Glory, which I assume would be supersonic--or maybe it's one of our Columbia space shuttles) to Heaven. Otherwise, you are in trouble. No ticket; no Heaven. You will be branded one day with trip sixes on your forehead--"the mark of the beast"--see, hot-ironed on your forehead by the Devil himself posing as a beast again. This will all happen at a thing called the Judgment when Moses, I think, is going to start reading names out of this huge Book of Life, "when the roll is called up yonder"--yes, Heaven is "up yonder," invisible, but it's up there. That's why Holy Rollers put a weird grimace on their faces and raise their arms trembling toward the heavens (up yonder) when they get the Holy Spirit. They're anticipatin' being "called Home." Which is also confusing. How come Heaven is a Christian's home? I suppose you could say Big Daddy is the original Christian since he came up with this stupid shit. Can you believe your fellow human beings, most of them, believe this? And my ridiculing it is not really distorting it that much; I'm sticking to the story pretty strictly.
If your name ain't in the Book of Life. Whewwww boy! Pack your bags, you are Hellbound on the Greyhounds of Hell bus--look at 'em all cockily laughing on that bus. "Have a good time now, you sons'a bitches, you'll soon enough be roasting in Holy Hell."
An atheist like myself has no choice according to Christians, even though we don't believe in gods of any kind and especially the sons or daughters of these mostly wacky gods, which means we neither believe in Jesus H. Christ or the Devil--maybe I can use my imagination and imagine Jesus H. being a real man who lived a couple'a thousand years ago, but the Devil? Sorry. I can't believe in the Devil no way you picture him to me. I say, "Bring him on." I'll fight a dude who is threatening to take me with him to serve his time with him in a F-ing Lake of Fire for something I can't believe not matter how many lobotomies I give myself. Only a truly insane person can believe this shit. Hey, look at 'em fighting likes dogs over in the Middle East, a battles now of my god is bigger than your god with Amurica saying, F all you all's gods, WE ARE GOD, you dumb bastards.
What gives Israel a right to defend its right to be where it is today? I hear that as an excuse for Israel invading Lebanon and conquering parts of it just because some fanatic Islamics who call themselves Hezbollah do not recognize Israel as a sovereign state and go extreme and say they want to destroy it. Hell yeah they want to destroy it. If you're a Palestinian, you haven't had a decent life at all since Israel was given its right to exist by the U.S.-dominated UN in 1947--and those of us who were alive back in those long-ago days remember that Israel was set up because no other country wanted to take the Jews in, even after WWII. Check it out. Britain turned them away. The U.S. turned them away. As a result, the Palestinians had to give up the cream of their land and then forced to live in a Hell on earth that was once the deserted lands surrounding their Paradise, their Palestine.
So when Jehovah kicked old horny Adam out of the Garden, what happened to the Garden? Did Jehovah abandon it? Baghdad sits there now; maybe Jehovah is pissed off at the Iraqis for claiming land that formerly belonged to him, the same as the Palestians are pissed off at Israel for claiming land that formerly belonged to them and want it harmed.
Is the tomato plant really the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil? It certainly won't hurt you to eat tomatoes. They're full of a good stuff called lycopene, what makes tomatoes red, with the exception of man's refined hot house tomatoes of today, which are very seldom full red, mostly effete yellowish, washed out red because they are picked before they're ripe. Today's store-sold tomatoes are pieces of fruit crap. You need to find what they now call heirloom tomatoes, full rich red organic tomatoes, to get all that thick rich red lycopene into your system. It protects you against a lot of attackers, like the normally invincible CANCER. It could also perhaps offer you more eternal life than God and his foolish Christianity can. Why not then worship the tomato?
So, speaking of cancer, and this Tropic of Cancer situation the cosmococcic world is now wallowing in, the Christian crusaders, led by the bungling master of failure, Georgie Porgie, our "president," are going to turn this fucking world into an actual Hell; they're turning our Paradise into, one big Lake of Fire, a Gitmo for the Christian Devil.
The Fools Who Represent Us Are Omniscient
Senator Inhofe (it rhymes with Cretin) is from that great progressive state of Oklahoma, a state whose whole economy is based on energy resources and was stolen lock, stock, and barrels from the Native Americans that were forced marched to it when it was designated Indian Territory by the then Great White Father, which was fine until the Great White Father discovered that Oklahoma was sitting on a whole bunch'a pools of his favorite product, good ole Earl, I mean OIL. [I've already given comment on the great state of Oklahoma and Tulsa in a previous post--WOW, back in April maybe--one of the early ones.]
Inhofe is a true human-animal hybrid nutjob. He babbles that those who believe in global warming are falling for the "big lie"--the same as the lie propagated by Hitler and the Hitlerians during those Dark Ages that said the Jews were the reason for Germany's economic and social failures; kill the Jews, problem solved. Old Senator Inhoof-and-mouth, he's one of those old porky jowled clean-cut Christian hornswagglers, same as Okie-Homa's pride and joy, Brother Oral Roberts, the healing hypocrite over in oil-blessed Tulsa, believes that everything Old "I Give Up" Al Gore says in his currently buck-making lectures, book, and movie, about what's coming due to global warming can be refuted by "scientists." Yep, that's what he said. Yeah, the alchemists over at Oral's failed, bankrupt 50-story eyesore healing horsespital have refuted global warming based on the "science" of Holy Bible prophecies. It ain't global warming, it's the Lard himself coming back on that big white horse [where did Jesus learn to ride a horse? The best he can afford in the Good Book is a god-damn donkey. Anybody can ride a donkey; they're like riding a Shetland pony when you're a curtainclimber. But riding a big white horse; that's another matter].
So global warming is just a natural occurrence when you believe all the hogwash in the Christian Bible or hell, in the Book of the Moron Mormons, or hell, in the Koran...you name one of those holy books, they all say the same thing: the world will end one day because it will burn up, as George Gamov explained in his book The Death of the Sun, because right before the Sun goes dark, it expands to a tremendous heat, so hot it finallys blows to all Hell and the heat emitted by the blow up will certainly "scorch" the earth, as predicted by the Christian bible--you even heard of "the scorched earth" policy? Check out VietNam.
Hell on Earth
I think it's here. L.A. has just gone through two straight weeks of temperatures over 100 degrees, one or two days getting over 115. This has nothing to do with L.A. sitting in the middle of a waterless desert.
I heard a talking head on teevee blaming the current heat problem on "the grid system in California that was built in the 1930s." Hell, you idiot, the heat is because the sun is having no trouble blowing UV rays in through that hole in our ozone that doesn't exist according to idiot Christians, and besides, all grid systems in the Far West come from the Rural Electrification Agency of Roosevelt's administration which wired the USA from Tennessee all the way out to California in the 1930s. Your question should be, "Why hasn't the grid system been improved in all those years?"--and you notice I didn't ask why hasn't it been refined.
Water or the lack of it, not land, will be the cause of future wars. People having children these days should consider this shit. I know they won't because man is not going to plan his parenthood just like he's not going to quit going to wars or killing himself and every other living thing on the earth before he's satisfied. Parents should think about what their kids's future will be like in the future good ole US of A. First off, future kids will be conscripted for military service one day soon, that I guarantee, since the US of A is now fixed in a war economy. Perpetual war is now an economic necessity (WAR (We Are Republicans), what the NeoCons are praying diligently for--praying for those "wars and rumors of wars" prophesied in the Christian's Word of God. If you think war isn't profitable, check out British Petroleum's current profits--they're through the roof; and then check out the recent profits of the "president's" personal spies, AT&T--80% over last year. If you want to get rich, sell all you possess and invest in Halliburton, Exxon Mobil, the Carlyle Group--any company profiting from the war--and that's all of them, folks, every god-damn one of them. Even the toilet paper industry. The U.S. Army doesn't make its own toilet paper. Oh yeah, it's rough as a cob because you know the Army gets shoddy products, which they pay 3 or 4 times over market value for. It's called foolish waste when you do it; it's called corporate profits when the government does it.
The US military of the future will be going around capturing energy sources, including water reserves--the biggest aquifer is under Brasil and Argentina, so look for a war in South America soon. Currently our military is securing oil deposits, but more and more, it looks like those deposits aren't as rich as we thought--Iraq oil cannot pay for the cost of Bush's Iraq Folly afterall. Bush needs yet another war to fix this war (the fool thought he could like his old Pappy paid for his little Gulf War adventure--the only war we've won, according to Pappy, since WWII--get all his coalition dupes to foot the bill for, like Pappy got Japan and those poor fools to pay for his Gulf War folly).
Notice how Bush is promoting nuclear power again now; aha, why?, you ask--or should ask. The first nuclear power plant construction in something like thirty years was just approved by the Bush administration. Today, as a matter of fact, the Congress will vote on trading India nuclear secrets for mangoes ("We will enjoy eating Indian mangoes"). At one time in our past it looked as though the nuclear power industry was going off-line totally; but, nope, it's coming back with an explosive roar now. You need oil to power up the nuclear plants, but you also need a hell of a lot of water--to cool them down so they don't blow sky high and take out a couple'a million of us as she blows (ConEd says it will be more like only 200,000 of us have to be sacrificed in case Indian Point blows sky high. Like New York City sits only 25 miles down wind from two of the oldest reactors online, the Indian Point reactors, owned and operated by ConEd (I think under a set-up management company now). You want to be scared, check out this site:
Hell, though, don't worry, as Edward Teller said (and more of these insane quotes are on the above Website), "Radiation speeds up evolution," and this kook invented the hydrogen bomb (a mother we don't mention much, most of us still wrapped up in conventional nuclear weapons--but one of these hydrogen babies will blow holy hell out of even the #1 sinniest terrorist nation in the world (Iran at the moment) and all the world surrounding it, too, which includes Israel).
Refining. That's the answer to the nuclear crisis, according to professional refiners like ConEd--oh yeah, and I might add, like all corporations, ConEd never lies and never makes mistakes. Their spins are always for our benefit; even their constant rate increases. Still we have massive power outages--the big city of Queens, New York, is still going without electrical power after 9 straight days--and still is as I type this. Modern industry; making life better for us? You wanna bet. And NYC's billionaire wimp mayor defends ConEd and tells us we should go up to the lollygagging ConEd workers and thank them for the tremendous job they're doing. [In digging up the street, ConEd has one guy, usually a black man, sorry, but it's the truth, using the jackhammer as they tear hell out of a street that is already scarred by their previous jackhammerings (ConEd digs up my street at least 10 times a year). Then there are two white guys who stand over the deepening ditch and watch the black man jackhammering. Standing off to the side on the sidewalk are three or four more white guys, older guys with big bellies, who just stand there watching the black guy and the two white guys. Wherever their work truck is parked you'll find another ConEd worker usually asleep in the cab of the truck or else talking on his cell phone (I've never seen a female ConEd worker in the street, though I suppose there is one somewhere in the system). In the back of the truck are two or three guys, usually white men, who seem to be busy, doing what you can't tell, but they have a radio going and are surrounded by the trash of food cartons, paper sacks, pop cans, signs that the boys are eating junk food often, which means they take a lot of breaks, though the longer you watch them, taking breaks seems to be their main job. Sometimes you see civilian cars parked around a ConEd site. You soon notice all these cars have out-of-state license plates, a lot of them from southern states, like South Carolina (home of the Savannah River Hell-on-Earth nuclear reactor) or Virginia.
By the way, how easy would it be for a terrorist to get into Indian Point (2 nuclear reactors 30 miles north of NYC and a metropolitan population of around 20 million) and say blow one of the reactors up? Pretty easy? The answer is yes. A couple of years ago a drunk ran his car through the Indian Point gate and rammed it right up against one of the reactors before his progress was halted, he passed out, and was busted. "Not a problem," crowed the motherly old-broad ConEd sends out as a spinner, "at no time was the reactor itself in any jeopardy." Right. But what if that drunk had been Timothy McVeigh and his car had been loaded with a few hundred pounds of amonia fertilizer? Yep, that could have done quite a job on the Metro New York City area. One New York congressman, one of those out-of-sync Upstate New Yorkers who are constantly jealous of NYC--some literally hate NYC and can't wait to see it blown to smithereens-- says not to worry. New York City can be totally evacuated in two days using odd and even license plate numbers. Wow, dude, you're a genius. I could go on but that last reference ought to flush the shit out of your brain so the picture becomes clearer. Odd and even license plates? What about us jerky NYC residents who don't own a car? Oh, I forgot, every Amurican has two cars in the garage and pot in every chicken...sorry, pot in every Phillies Blunt...or is it a chicken in every pot? One day, we won't have a pot to even piss in.
I'd hate to be an Amurican kid coming up in this day and age. And I have a wonderful, beautiful, smart-as-a-whip niece who is currently waiting to bingo a beautiful new growling wolf boy into this world as I type this. She has a 3-year-old daughter who I've deemed a future star just going on the image she leaves you with now. But I don't envy these kids. I'm gonna be checking off this mortal coil before they have to face the music they're going to have to face. I hope it's the music of the culture I came out of and not the music of nuclear explosions going off all around them given under the orders of a Jewish god riding a big white horse out of the clouds--those clouds, of course, will be nuclear clouds.
for The Daily Growler