Thursday, July 27, 2006

The 101 Ranch

Jive From The Daily Growler Abyss
This is post #101. Time flies when you are blogging. What have we learned after 100 posts?

1) There are a hell of a lot of bloggers.
2) Blogging is definitely therapeutic.
3) Blogging can be harmful to your health.
4) Blogging can be irritating.
5) Blogging can be frustrating.
6) Blogging can be empowering, especially to the powerless.
7) Most blogs, sorry folks, are piddlings of pissy drivel or piles of unmitigated ego crapping.
8) Every now and then you do find a blog that is brilliant (like our own The Daily Growler).
9) Every now and then you do find some truly exciting writing on a blog.
10) Most blogs are very liberal and anti-the current "president." (Three cheers for that.)
11) There are some bloggers who are willing to bend over and let the "president" F them good.
12) We're sure the CIA runs 1000s of blogs with a bunch of recent college grads writing them.
13) We're sure the FBI runs 1000s of blogs with a bunch of recent college grads writing them.
14) We're sure there are thousands of corporate-run blogs promoting garbage products.
15) We're sure scammers run 1000s of blogs; charity scams, sales scams, get rich quick scams.
16) We're sure spammers run 1000s of blogs; they clog The Daily Growler mailbox daily.
17) We are confused by spammers; what does their irritating presence mean to these people?
18) Like do spammers make millions of dollars; if so, how?
19) Spammers amuse us, obviously; we are amused by how easy it is to trick folks.
20) We like how hard it is to get an ion of truth over but how easy it is to get a lie believed.
21) Blogs have to be controlled by the bloggers. And that includes The Daily Growler.
22) We mean by that, Jesus, put a mean edit on most of your content.
23) Best blogs we've seen to date: languagehat and wood s lot. The blog binoculars are still out.
24) Sometimes we spend so much time on The Daily Growler we don't have time to blog surf.
25) Blogging can be a pain in the ass.
26) You can be told your blog gets a lot of hits and still receive no comments.
27) Some comments on some blogs are silly; mostly chit-chat; and then boom a serious one.
28) Blogging is a nasty but beautiful habit. We at The Daily Growler are hooked.
29) The Daily Growler medical staff highly recommends blogging...that or psychoanalysis.
30) "Know thyself," saith some Lard and Master, and that's what blogs help Thou doeth.

The 101 Ranch
There really is such a place. We mention it because a certain Daily Growler writer lived at one time in Enid, Oklahoma, and once talked incessantly about a childhood experience he had at the Miller Bros. 101 Ranch and the Ponca Native American dancers he saw there. Check it out; they've only had 12,000 hits, but it's a cool site for a north central Oklahoma project.

Word Up
-- You no longer have to worry about your underage daughters--birth to 18 in US; birth to 12 in heathen countries; birth to 3 or 4 in royal families--sneaking across a state line and getting an abortion anymore. We know that has been utmost on the minds of the parents of most underage daughters--there are millions of them at any given time, aren't there? Like it or not, and what parent couldn't like this, the U.S. Congress has passed a law that makes it illegal for your underage daughter to sneak across a state line and get an abortion...and we think that's period, no exceptions, though maybe it's OK with parental consent.

So, imagine this, your underage daughter (let's say age 16 for a sort of age you'd expect an underage daughter to start seriously screwing often) comes to you and informs you, "Daddy, mommy, I'm preggers as hell with Little Stevie's baby, or so says Dr. Nick Riviera, you know him, the doctor on teevee? But anyway, Dr. Nick says I can go from Birmingham here up there to New York City and get an abortion, which is what I want, daddy, mommy, please. You don't want that creep Stevie's little lumox for your grandchild, do you? God, what was wrong with me when I let that jerk have me; I got so naively horny. Oh, by the way, daddy, mommy, thanks for all that great sexual advice you gave me. Here's the result...Little Icky's bastard."

That's the proper scenario set down by this Dark Ages Congress we have overseeing us; so if your underage daughter sneaks off and gets an abortion across a state line without you knowing it, the Feds will be kicking in your door late one night to handcuff her and haul her off to Federal jail for breaking a Federal law; off they'll take her eventually to Federal prison as a felon, maybe the same Fed babe prison Martha Stewart paid her dues in [isn't it wonderful how felon Martha is still respected by the television networks--though, we thought as a felon she couldn't run anykind of business anymore? Maybe being an actress with a network teevee contract isn't a business. It's none of our business, that's for sure].

So sit back, relax, take a puff or two. If your underage daughter is showing, all your responsibility is to her is to remind her that if she crosses a state line and gets an abortion, she's in big doodoo. "So here, honey, take a jacket here for that ejaculator, 'cause we can't afford an abortion, you got that? And if you pay us no mind, then the Feds come and haul you off and don't start screamin' we didn't warn you when they do."

Isn't amazing how our Congress is concerned about underage daughters crossing state lines to get abortions (how many are there every year anyway?) at the same time the U.S. Army, and now the Israeli Army, is aborting the lives of thousands upon thousands of good innocent struggling people throughout the Middle East under orders from a dude who was never honestly elected president of this country--he was the first and only ever president appointed by the Supreme Court, and he now cockily rules in Washington, District of Corruption, as though failure and the ultimate disasters that emerge from failure is his mission in life for himself (remember "Fools dare to go where angels fear to tread") and for We the People of the U.S., and also the people of the rest of the whole god-damn world. Todo el Mundo! It's that New World Order of his old Pappy's design this little prick son is determined to shove down our throats whether it chokes us all to death or not.

Congress is also arrogantly trying to punish us for burning an F-ing U.S. flag while thousands of U.S. soldiers are coming home with their coffins defiled by that same flag; that flag that is flown out in front of them as they go over the hills of battle for the centuries of war we have participated in since our founding warmongering Great White Fathers ruled it the proper way to fight wars, the drummer boy and flag bearer being the first to die for stupid nationalistic beliefs. All of the current soldiers fighting those stupid wars in Iraq and Afghanistan (don't ever think we're not still losing soldiers every day in that country, too) are now drummer boys and flag bearers going over the hills of battle in their clumsy Humvies or their even more clumsy and deadly Bradleys (made by the Carlyle Group, I'll bet ya; what'a ya bet?) to face an enemy that was never our enemy, to face insurgents who weren't insurgents until we started these wars, to face new Al Queda forces now, to face a Taliban re-emerging with power in Afghanistan, to face suddenly now in Iraq warring Islamic factions that Saddam had controlled with his Bathist movement both of which are shooting now at the liberating Amurican fool soldiers as they come out from their luxurious Green Zone in their big overblown army toys to attack them--Shiites shooting at them; Sunis shooting at them, to face now a threat of a Kurd Army forming in northern Iraq, to face the threat of those fanatically crazed car bombers and suicide bombers, to expose the rest of the world to the same sort of attacks--WE STUPIDLY HAVE STIRRED UP RELIGIOUS WARS ALL OVER THE MIDDLE EAST.

GOD-DAMN WAR IS THE ONLY THING THIS KILLER "PRESIDENT" (CHECK OUT HIS EXECUTION SCHEDULE WHILE HE WAS GOOBERNOR OF TEJAS) KNOWS WORKS FOR HIS GREEDY FAMILY AND THEIR GREEDY OIL-DRIPPING FRIENDS IN THE MIDDLE EAST. saudi arabia. SEE IT'S IN LC TYPE. oman. dubai. the arab emirates. israel, to the US (us) a holy land to be protected to the point of the end of mankind as we know it--and it is also a holy land for both Jews and Arabs--we guess we call them "Islamics" now; I don't see the word "Arab" used much anymore. Well, OK, the Iranians are Persians, where the rather smart religion of the worship of Mazda (the Light) began with Zoroaster. Here's a Website temple devoted to the worship of Mazda via Zoro. Check it out; if you have Unicode perhaps you can read the Persian.

Daimler-Chrysler Commercial
Is anyone else bothered by the Nazi emphasis of the current Daimler-Chrysler commercial running on television these days, at what seems like every other commercial, sometimes running simultaneously across the broadband dial of the television universe? The commercial shows a bumbling nerd, he looks like a neophyte actor from Brooklyn, obviously Amurican, reporter type interrupting Daimler-Chrysler fuhrer Dieter Zetsche as he's leaving the Daimler-Benz headquarters--yeah sure--anyway, this Amurican idiot asks Dieter, "What makes the merger of Chrysler and Daimler worthwhile...." To which Dieter says, "Get in," inviting the stupid Amurican nerd to get into his Daimler SUV. He's gonna personally demonstrate his answer for this dumbass goofball Amurican lad. It's like a superior person would treat a dumkoft.

First Dieter shows the nerd how fast this piece of junk will go by taking the monotonous SUV out onto a monotonous test track--you know German carmakers love their test tracks and have them all over Germany--plus they love to drive fast, the way Hitler taught them with his fabby Robert Moses-like autobahn system. Then Dieter starts bragging about German engineering; the quality of the production; and finally the luxurious style.

They tag the commercial, you can tell it was made by an Amurican advertising agency, at least we can, with the nerd suddenly burping out, "Are you a real doktor?" to which Dieter responds by crashing the SUV, it doesn't look like the SUV they started out in, head first into a crash-test wall. "There, does that answer your question?" says the arrogant Dieter.

For some reason that commercial chills our asses.

First of all, Hitler's very favorite car company and military equipment maker was Daimler-Benz. Yep, they make Mercedes-Benzes, Hitler's very favorite cars. They also made Daimler aircraft and I'm sure they helped in V2 rocket production and set up many manufacturing facilities in those benevolent conscentration camps.

Hitler rode around siegheil-ing all the German dupes in his very favorite big half-military/half luxury limo convertible Daimler-Benz, though for trips outside his Berlin headquarters he preferred his big Mercedes-Benz SL.

Mercedes have always been cars for big shots you had to siegheil. Big Daddy Hitler created the Volkswagen--yep, the bug was his own design--remember, he was an artist--for the common ordinary stupid people.

Trot over to this site for a prejudiced look at the Daimler-Chrysler's attempt at hornswaggling stupid Amuricans (including Amurican stockholders).

We Amuricans always trust the quality of anything foreign, even crap from China, over goods made in the USA--I think it's due to the fact that the big corporations blame Amurican workers expecting high wages and huge benefits as the reason we lost our automobile industry, even though the American people warned Detroit for years we were tired of their big gas guzzling designs--we called it "Detroit iron." We remember when Renault, makers of truly worthless pieces of French crap cars, came out with a new designed Renault in the early sixties--the original design was an ugly contraption used as war taxis/ambulances in WWI and redesigned for WWII. This new Renault, imported to America, got 35 miles to a gallon of gas, which in those days cost around 25 cents a gallon--and the oil companies were richer than Jehovah's tax-free coffers back then the same as they are today. This Renault and the Volkswagen beetle got Detroit to making compact cars finally, though most of them, remember the ill-designed and deadly Corvair, were pieces of crap in terms of quality.

We found out later, Detroit had sent its compact car building knowledge over to General MacArthur's New World Order in Japan after WWII--that old military son of a bitch took over Japan like a dictator after the war--it's due to this old egomaniacal general's insistence that we took all our industries over there, including our banking industry and our automobile industry [both Germany and Japan after WWII adopted the American banking system]--we tooled up Toyota and Nissan (who originally called their cars "Datsuns" because Nissan sounded too Japanese for Amurican ears--especially to Japanese-Americans put in the Great White Father's own concentration camps in WWII) to make compact cars for the compact Japanese, but also, since American car companies were involved in the tooling of this industry, they took half-interest roles in these new companies, like allowing Japanese and German carmakers to actually build and sell their cars in the US, which didn't bother U.S. carmakers because they had a vested interest in the Japanese car industry from the git-go. The Amurican car companies were involved in a global automobile industry long before the global marketplace was declared in the nineties. The computer age, by the bye, led to the global marketplace.

We Are Tired Growlers

We are back from our fabulous vacations, but we aren't anxious to start grinding our axes again yet. thegrowlingwolf has retreated to one of his unknown hideouts--like Heaven exists in an invisible outerspace, so do thegrowlingwolf's hideouts, though we know where the one is in Davenport, Iowa; it's an old hotel down near the waterfront. Go find the bastard and give him a kiss for us. Watch that breath, though; he's probably been drinking that Keokuk moonshine he swears by when he's in corn-fed Iowa.

We'll see if we see you tomorrow.

for The Daily Growler

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