Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Jumpin' Off a Riff, Part 2

Blogged Down
Just spent several minutes emptying the spam out of my website email--176 different ones; from Gary, from Alberto Gonzales, from Ray Weber, from Dan Heck--offering me Coral Draw, drugs, vitamins, penis enlargment (of course--what man doesn't want a bigger penis; even guys with big ones; that's a male thing), Microsoft products, Free Trips to Vegas...the list goes on throughout infinity, I assume. I have to wonder, what does all this spam prove to these people? It can't possibly be a source of income for them; I mean, who the hell buys anything from these people?--well, OK, I'm sure many a young male can't resist the penis enlargement spam, but Coral Draw? Who even uses Coral Draw anymore? And drugs; would you buy your drugs, even your illegal drugs, from these guys, like Dan Heck? "You're doin' a heck of a job, Dan." It seems to be like a computer game with these guys; they just gotta spam, man. They get a great delight in jamming email boxes full of their interruptive crap. I've heard of other bloggers who have gotten so many spam and baloney mails they've had to shut down their email and start over with a new one with added spam-fighting switches within its security walls. I can see how maybe it works if these things lure you to fabby Websites full of wonderful bundles of good stuff a la Martha Stewart thinking, stuff your greedy desires just can't resist. Or perhaps they're like legit large corporations using spam to lure you into their bailiwick for a good screwing. I mean, would you give Dan Heck your credit card number? Jesus, are people really as stupid as they appear to me to be? Or am I stupid? Don't ya just hate logic?

I saw Pat Robertson this morning on Benny Hinn's cheap-time teevee medicine show and what a pompous, egoistical, conked-out mother-F-er he is. A scary dude. You can see his fear in his eyes? Whose this drug addict afraid of?

What these jakeleg preachers are peddling now is the totally unscientific statement that the earth is against man because Adam and Eve sinned in the Garden of Eden, which these hallucinatin' sons of bitches believe was a real place at a real time on this damn real earth. Big Daddy's Big Garden, which in Freudian terms means "the safety of a mother's womb." That's the actual Big Garden these silly scared-to-death assholes try to convince the also-afraid numbskulls that adhere to their gospel was a real place and what the whole earth could have been like had this silly Jewish son of a bitch named Adam not crossed Big Daddy Allah-Jehovah-Yaweh and got himself and his worthless family thrown out of Big Daddy's Blessed Garden, the Mother's Womb, the safest place these idiots would ever know. You see what I'm driving at? Being BORN was the sin; that's why if you're one of these Christians, you've got to be BORN AGAIN to get the insurance Big Daddy and his only Son are peddling, this time their policy is based on you getting a free ride through life in the safety Jesus's bisexual womb, don't you see? [Going down into the water with these creeps [they call it baptism, though you don't hear much about baptism on these teevee medicine show things (old revival tent shows filmed for teevee); they only thrive on blatantly selling "Gawd's hunderd-fold blessin' he offers us'n in this here his holy word." But they baptize, too, you bet they do; it's quite a hoodoo affair to see these true believers during a dunking session. You see, they see it as a symbol of you the born sinner being drowned in the holy blood and guts of Jesus the Crossbearer, which means when the holy little daddy dunks you under the water, you are drowning, dying, then taken into the stomach of Jesus while you're dead and still under and then when little daddy raises you up out of the water, you slide up out of Jesus's womb (his ass, I guess, though I'm not biblically scientific) to be REBORN. Praise the Lard. Say Glory! Simple shit for simple fools.

This is their new scheme (their "new sell"--like all salesmen, they have to come up with a new pitch about every six months, same as product design has to change, too, every six months) came along after they tried unsuccessfully to convince their duped admirers that all the money in the world actually belonged to Yaweh or Jehovah or whatever the hell they call this old Jewish god they sell as the one and only real Big Daddy-- Elohim, Allah, all these words mean the same thing; they all mean "Big Daddy," in Godspeak, and it is always "god the father," "the father of Abraham," "the father of man." It always means the Big Daddy Power Authority in the sky that only the egomaniacal salesmen, which is really what all of us are anyway, whether peddling Big Daddy's insurance or our own, who hardsells you with the idea that he or now she are in direct contact with their Big Daddy twenty-four/seven. Their Big Daddy talks to them, I suppose in English, and tells them what to tell their dupes, those thousands of wild-eyed, mostly overweight women, wearing Mickey Mouse teeshirts and jeans--sometimes clam diggers, both black and white, all grimacing madly during these boring doublespeak "sermons" that these babbling idiot reptiles have worked into their empowering "crusades"--I like that all these fund'o-mental magic men and women call their teevee shows and road tours "Crusades." Yeah, the Crusaders were a bunch of nice guys, weren't they? Good Christian gentlemen who spread the loving words of Joshua ben Joseph throughout the Middle-East; that's why it's so blessed peaceful over their today. Praise the Lard and pass me a silver chalice full'a ale, please.

So, yeah, they tried to convince these jokers that all the money in the world belonged to God so, by God, they said, let's take God's money back. Of course, the only way they said to get God's money back was to send all of your hard-earned money, you know mortgage your house if you have to, to the sales force and they would get it back to God since they are professional god contacters and not to worry, they'd send you their latest DVD crusade and bible lesson as a receipt when you send along an extra $50. And all that money these creeps steal, millions and millions of it is TAX FREE. HOLY JESUS. TAX F-ing FREE. Mostly it's cash, too, so We the People will never know how much money these clowns are robbing from the superstitious poor in this country, those people always looking for a "way out," "a free ride," "a jackpot of money," "work," "an excuse for their constant failure," "a free pass" that will allow these slimy heathen to avoid DEATH. YOU CAN'T DO IT, YOU FOOLS; WE ALL GONNA DIE. AND, YOU WANNA KNOW A LITTLE SECRET MY GOD TOLD ME? THERE AIN'T NOTHING AFTER YOU DIE. YOU GONE, MAN. YOUR TIME IN THIS EXTRAORDINARY BRIEF WINDOW OF 'BEING ALIVE' WILL BE OVER, JOHNNY--IT'S OVER!

Bring on your gods if I'm wrong. Put an F-ing curse on thegrowlingwolf , I don't give a damn. Remember, you gotta shoot or poison a wolf.

Notice, the reason for every sin, which includes being black, being an illegal immigrant, being an atheist, being a drunk, being a murderer to these Christian Fund O'Mental bastards is due to a CURSE. They don't believe the Africans have a rite to their obeah and vodun, which if you look closely into them, are the basis for all religion, with me assuming original religion came out of Africa same as man. I have experienced a feeling of voodoo when I stayed in Haiti for three months back in the seventies. When I looked into it I was surprised how much of voodoo was simply all religions, the One God, the voo is you, the doo is you, too, dig? Here's a site that is excellent in explaining voodoo and relating it back to African and it origins.


I laugh like a hyena the whole time I trying logically understand this Christian bullshit, which is all it is, salesman bullshit. Everything is a hustle NOW. Even this blog is a hustle. I'm trying to sell you my points of view, my 1000 points of light [remember that stupid speech! Hey, we should have taken notes since his son is now trying to implement that screwball plan, which he doesn't understand since he never listened to a word his father said and his mother talks like a man, so hell, let's let every son of a bitch eat some cake.

Sell, sell, sell.

In the meantime, Iraq is a bloody failure; Afghanistan is a failure; the War on Terrorism is a failure; the War on Drugs is a failure. Dammit, WAR ITSELF LEADS TO FAILURE because war is a failing method of bringing peace on earth and goodwill toward the mankind whose paradise it already is. God, too, all gods, are failures. They have never solved any of man's problems. Praying to God has not stopped one damn thing from happening. For every hillbilly fat girl you see on religious teevee who's talking about how the hand of God reached down and saved her miraculously from a lightning storm, or a car crash, or a flood, or whatever, there are thousands upon thousands of bullshitters out there praying their asses off trying to get out of a life-threatening situation who the hand of God reaches down and flicks their asses off the coil with the same ease the Big Man fillips a fly off his ass. "I guess God had a reason for taking Billy Bob." Wow, I wish life were that simple. "God took Billy Bob last night." "Oh, really, how'd it happen?" "Well, he was screwing one of the newborn calves on his old pappy's farm and the damn calf kicked the living shit out of him." "God knows best." "Amen to that, brother."

How could anyone believe so phony a crooked cocksucker as Pat Robertson? And I'll go out on a limb and say I think Pat is gay. Pat is filthy F-ing rich, don't kid yourself. Jesus, according to his male friends--he seemed to have mostly male friends except for the whore Mary Magdalene--taught them that they should give up all their worldly possessions, which included their businesses, too, and follow him down "the straight and narrow" that leads up to this big hideaway in the sky where God is gonna pass out the gold like it's so much surplus cheese (remember government surplus stuff?), and bags of diamonds, too; rubies, garnets...Jesus! we're all gonna be rich in heaven. Well, hell yeah that sounds great to a poor dumb scumbag fresh off the failing farm or just trucked out of a state prison perhaps, or just a hardworking ditchdigger--one day in hebbin'--WE'LL ALL BE RICH--and the preacher, like Pat Robertson, has to be filthy rich in order to tell you what heaven's gonna be like. You see how it works. God needs bales of money. I mean that son of a bitch has used up a hell of a lot of TAX-FREE bucks over their existence. And Ralph Reed got so rich, he tried to dispose of some of his "burden" by investing it in Native American casinos. Such F-ing hypocrites.

Holy Bullshit!

This shit could be right. Logically, I assume you can prove everything has a grain of truth in it, even the old South thing about putting a piece of string in a jar of water and sitting it in the moonlight and watching that string turn into a snake. Certainly it is true you CAN put a piece of string in a jar of water and certainly you CAN sit that jar in the moonlight. There's the truth in that whole BS platform. Now when that piece of string will turn into a snake...HEY, THAT'S THE PART YOU GOTTA TAKE BY FAITH.

See what a freethinker is up against? Holy Cowshit, the world is one crazy handbasket sliding straight off down the straight and narrow shute that leads to that place of diminishing return, Holy CHAOS--ENTROPY.

for The Daily Growler (God's gift to mankind)

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