The Daily Growler Staff Refuses to Go to Austin, Texas
There's a big blogger party in Austin, Texas, this weekend; sponsored by Google we assume since they're the Big Daddy owners of blogspot.com. Free booze it says in their ad for the event. We go for that. Dancing it says, too. And we've seen some hot blogger girls, so the male Growlers wouldn't mind bopping around the dancefloor with one or two or a dozen or so of those, that's for sure; as to whether any male in his or her right mind would want to dance with Franny and Zoe our two-headed girl reporter--I mean, they argue constantly--such bickering--that would remain to be seen.
So, to hell with the Google blogger party in Austin, we've decided to have one of our own--at an unknown location--it could be at thegrowlingwolf's shabby hotel room near the waterfront in Davenport, Iowa; or it could be at our penthouse offices in the ex-Texas & Pacific railroad station in Monahans, Texas--not much to see from our penthouse terrace--the station is only one-story tall--the party's probably not going to be there so don't waste your time booking flights to Monahans--
or Davenport for that matter; thegrowlingwolf never comes to our parties--
but, anyway, The Daily Growler bingers, boozers, and bimbos are going out tonight--coming in from all the angles of the Neo-Con world, while our phony president is tap-dancing dangerously down in South America, in Brazil as we type this and then on to the great democratic Republic of Uruguay--used to be an ex-Nazi haven, didn't it? Bush will end his excursion in Colombia. I remember when Nixon went to Colombia, I think, either Colombia or Venezuela, and his Caddie limo got rocked and egged--"Yanqui go home!" they shouted at that great Amurican president--he shouted back at them, "I am not a crook, you pepper-belly bastards" while he gave 'em the shaft via the peace sign, which in reality was his version of shootin' 'em the Tricky Dicky Bird at those rabble-rousing brownskins.
We wonder if the Colombian's will rock and egg Bush's limo (remember, he has a special limo flown at great expense to We the People in an Air Force cargo plane when he takes these frequent junkets)? Remember, this turkey had never been out of the USA, except for trips to the whorehouses en La Frontera--that's the Texas-Mexican border, folks, before he was appointed "president"--for life, you think?--but since becoming "president," I mean, Jesus, this son of a bitch has made every country in the world by now--he's always travelling--PLUS, you don't see Pickles with him much lately--could that separation rumor still be true? Le'ts see, he's been to Asia a couple of times, he's been to Europe a couple of times, he's dropped in unexpectedly in Iraq a couple of time, then his famous drop in in Afghanistan where Pickles told the women of Afghanistan how fortunate they were, and his trip to India where he gave away nuclear secrets for mangoes, and he's been to Japan, has he been to China?--hasn't he?, he's been to Mexico a couple of times--Mexico City this time and not Boy's Town in Via Acuna, he's even been to Estonia--you even know where Estonia is or care?--they are a member of the Foolish Willing Dwindling Coalition--we think they have 5 gunga dins helping clean out the shithouses (called latrenes in the military) in Afghanistan--anyway, the boy who never travelled has certainly made up for it at our expense. It must cost us several millions everytime this goofball heads out on one of his unknown destination drop offs or one of his scheduled trips, like this one he's on now to South America. In his speech before he left on this junket, he babbled something about how he was continuing the revolution started by our George Washington--George, by the way, had no children of his own so he could be father of his country (that's what Bush said, we swear)--and by their George Washington, Simon Bolivar--and, yes, Bolivar was childless so he could be the father of his country, too (yep, the "president" threw that historical fact in the pot, too). He'd better be careful in Colombia, though; they're in the middle of a thirty-year-old civil war and Uribe or whatever the president of Colombia's name is isn't too popular of late since several of his cabinet members have proven to be cocaine cartel goons and leaders of death squads when they're not living it up in the capitol...
So, we're off to The Daily Growler blogger shindig. Holly and the Ho Tones will be doing the music--we see their tour bus pulling into the parking lot now--oops, we've said too much--we're giving away the location--WOW, is that Donald Trump's private helicopter spinning down out of control for a landing at the helicopter pad?--oh no, oh the humanity of it, smoke, smoke! So now you know; come to where Donald Trump's private helicopter just crashed--you can see the smoke from your luxury suite at the new 55-story Sky Box Hotel--only $20,000-a-night to Growler blogger partygoers. What a deal!
for The Daily Growler
For your reading entertainment:
The Longest Jailed Journalist in Amurica Is a WOLF!