Sunday, December 24, 2006

Year-End Yahoo Shenanigans

And You Thought Dick Was Tricky!
First off, before I start my normal growling, I was surprised to find in my Webster's Collegiate that the word shenanigan's origins (1855 first usage) are unknown. I always racially thought of it as an Irish word. [As a mean aside, I just heard an interview with Gore Vidal by Connie Martinson in which Gore said that his mother was of Anglo-Irish descent adding after Connie interjected that Gore hated his mother and didn't speak to her for 20 years that he believed the Anglo-Irish people were the meanest and cruelest people on earth.]

Oh well, so let me start growling about what's making me belly laugh here at the end of yet another year--and they roll by with such ferocity.

First of all, how maniacally laughable is the fact that after the Dumbocrats had swept back into power on the basis of the American people wanting us out of this war, an American people of which 71% want G.W. Bush, our phony "president," tossed out of the White House on his ass and with Pickles bouncing on her ass right along behind him, Birdbrain (and I apologize to birds) Bush, the Great Decider, has come rushing right smack-dab back into our bleeding-heart liberal faces with the decision that We the People of the US of A are all terrerists and, by God, not only are we not pulling out of Iraq or Afghanistan, but, by God, we're sending more young Amurican stupidos over to both places, and we're sending the U.S. Navy into shelling range of Iran--FOOLS-- to die for this spoiled-brat rich boy's God-damn lies, for his crimes, for his oil stealing, for his robbing of the US Treasury, for his rigging of the Supreme Court with right-wing legal terrerists, for his terrorizing the Middle-East with his constant threats of US invasion, first off Iran, but, hey, don't forget Syria, and last but not least don't forget Palestine and Lebanon. Remember what the old Wolf Man has always said, there would be no Israeli army without the US of A's support of the whole nation. I've already said how the US military industrial complex uses the Israeli Army to test its weapons of mass destruction, like missiles, arms, cluster bombs, land mines, tanks, Hummers, jet planes (we forget Israel has a pretty good Air Force thanks to the US of A--and ironically, so does Saudi Arabia have an Air Force thanks to the US of A).

Ironies amaze me.

Iran wouldn't have nuclear knowledge had the US of A not given it to them. Wow, how simple all this shit is to deciminate, that is unless you are an Amurican Yahoo who has no thoughts that last longer than the longest television program--unless you catch males on Saturday stupidly watching events like NASCAR racing that run on and on for hours--or golf tournaments, of which there seem to be more and more and more every year to the point golf pros now get to earn millions every single week of every year--like Tiger Woods will easily wipe out Jack Nicklaus's most-tourney wins record because, hell, Tiger has 52 tournaments a year he can compete in (marvelously, I might add) whereas Jack maybe had 32 a year he could compete in. Teevee wishes all sports were played year-round and they've tried it with football and basketball and it doesn't work, but it seems to work with golf, car racing, and skateboarding events (kiddy sports--I consider tennis and iceskating kiddy sports, too). Baseball is the greatest sport ever invented by humans and we thank our buckets of lard that baseball doesn't last 12 months a year--they play baseball every day, 152 games a year--and probably more as the leagues expand--and baseball, like golf, is going worldwide soon, unlike football, which when they try to take it worldwide they fail--you know why, because baseball is an American sport and golf has been much more an American sport since the 1910s than a British or European sport, though it did originate with them, the Dutch I think, right?

So, let's see, even though the November elections proved the American people are sick of the Iraq War, even the generals in Iraq are sick of it, and we're getting sick of war in general--WHY? BECAUSE WARS NEVER SOLVE ANYTHING; ESPECIALLY RELIGIOUS WARS OR WARS FOR OIL--so even though that's the true state of the union, it's not to Georgie Porgie's and the Neo-Con war and money-stealing mongrels's state of the union, nope, hell no; they, instead, are increasing our involvement in Iraq, more money and more cannon fodder. Ho boy. Doesn't Bush sound like Noxious Nixon talking about bombing the hell out of Hanoi, our hands being tied because we couldn't, Westmoreland (through our own Colon's Pal) saying he needed 100,000 more troops or he couldn't win in 'Nam, and then Noxious Nixon, "I surely am a god-damn crook," started bombing Cambodia and backing Pol Pot--oh how familiar all this war trickery is to me--but then, I've been around too long. It happened during the Korean War, same thing, General Self-Important MacArthur kept crying like a baby because he couldn't invade the People's Republic of China, with the largest manpower army in the world, and bomb the hell out of them--with old General LeMay, the creator of the Strategic Air Command, hollering that his SAC bombers could "Bomb 'em [the chinks and the gooks to the good General of the Air Force] back to the Stone Age," and oh how those generals wanted to do that, to bomb these people out of existence, bombing being our big tool, our national cock--and this is a male nation and don't you forget it; no pussies in our White House--unless they're invited into the Oval Office for a quickie after a hard day on the phone with your political cronies trying to keep the campaign coffers filled to overflowing--or hell, maybe you could sneak Marilyn Monroe into the White House if you were president (a necrophiliac president, wouldn't that be cool?)--that'd be alright with me. I don't give a damn who a president is shagging just as I don't give a damn about celebrities boffing each other and giving us an abundance illegitimate children, untalented goofballs people who go ape over every movie released by violent Hollywood are gonna have to support in the gaudy style their parents (or at least the one that admits they're their parents) spoiled them with before they went has-been and went broke. I give you the example of John Lenon's two untalented sons; Ringo Starr's untalented son, Zack; how about Johnny Carson's sons, remember them, totally untalented--just like their father as far as I'm concerned--Amazing how we make glaring celebrities out of game-show hosts--bad game shows at that. Or how about Liza Minelli? How scary is she when she's mimicking her scary mother, though Judy Garland was a real kid wonder ruined by Warner Brothers who got her hooked on uppers--hooking her in her teens, the dirty bastards. Liza has gumption [a Wolf joke], I'll give her that. I remember how she used to brag about doing heroin with Halston and Little Truman Capote. God. I'm draped in sackcloth and ashes.

And speaking along these strange ironic lines, some Jungian has dug up some old Swiss hotel records that now prove beyond a voyeur's doubt that the good Herr Doktor Freud was boffing his wife's sister, the titilatingly beautiful-at-one-time Minna. Hell, Minna lived with the Freuds for 42 years--from the time she was 19 or so, after her fiance was killed--so why wouldn't you think a sex freak like Freud wouldn't probably have been doing her along with his wife all along-- the Bernays sisters; don't sisters know what sisters are up to? There are no secrets between sisters, are there? There certainly are between brothers. Oh the things I could tell my brother now that he's dead.

So anyway, so what? Freud banged his sister-in-law. Psychiatrists expect their good-looking men or women patients to fall in love with them don't they? Plus, some of the greatest Freudian psychiatrists have been women, Anna Freud one of them, also a woman named Karen Horney in this country--and I would have certainly fallen in love with Anna Freud had I been relaxed on her analysand couch--"Hey, Anna, I have this sexual problem, I keep getting a hard-on looking at you." Whoaaa. But, hell, it had to be. Anais Nin in her special little prickteasing way fell in love with a couple of psychiatrists and I'm sure she offered them a piece of that famous Nin pie--I mean, come on.

A year of total nonsense of which sense can be made but even that sense looks like nonsense to some of us sensible people and wolves.

for The Daily Growler

NOTE: We don't know if The Daily Growler will sport a post tomorrow--it is a holiday, no matter its pagan origins, though we at The Daily Growler don't believe in Nada, much less X-mas. Go Santa Claus!

Check in under the tree anyway.

No comments: