Passing Mental Gas
I was rejoicing in the spirit night afore last when I caught Pastor Melissa Scott on our Jesus channel here and then suddenly there was her husband, his third wife, Dr. Gene Scott PhD, absolutely my favorite Christian crackpot of all time--the great master of intellectual deception who I had not seen on teeve in 20 years at least, since one of my staffers used to tape things off CABLE for me back in those ancient days of VHS, and one of the things he always kept me up on was Dr. Gene Scott's teevee show where, as he put it, "I wear all the hats" [and he would always be wearing a different hat every show, from a Daniel Boone coonskin to a Stetson cowboy hat, sometimes wearing three or four hats at once] "I do all the thinking for you" [talking to his congregation] "You sit there, keep your traps shut, listen, and most of all learn from my teachings otherwise why am I wasting my time--I have plenty of things I could be doing"--anyway, he was quite a character who was at least a challenge to your agnosticism, a sensible, though totally off-the-wall proof of the reality of Jesus X. Christ being the Son of God and not the Son of Man through the on-site verification of Jesus's disciples, all of whom, Dr. Gene says, suffered horrible deaths defending Jesus's teachings so then why would these men who are historically proven to have lived died such horrible deaths for a LIE, if Jesus wasn't who he said he was, and he said he was the Son of God, the perfect son, who literally believed what he taught, blah, blah, blah.
At the end of Doctor Gene's almost-an-hour rambling through his intellectual proof of the resurrection of Jesus, one of the Doc's greatest teachings--in which he uses huge plexiglass panels on which he scribbles in magic marker all these steps of proof that Jesus was killed, buried, and then rose from the grave and then ascending, like a Star Treker being beamed, straight up from a hill outside Jerusalem to Big Daddy's castle in the air--that unknown universe the Holy Rollers talk about. But then ah hell, Doctor Gene is nothing but a Holy Roller who lost his faith and went to evil Stanford and got a PhD in Educational Psychology or some such weirdo teacher's college doctorate--the son of a Holy Roller preacher and his preachin' wife--Holy Rollers allow women to preach going against Paul's advice that women should be seen and not heard--but then, I think they have to admit that Paul was probably a Sadist, if sexual at all, homosexual, some say and cripple, struck by polio, that being the bright light that blinded his old ass when he was working for the Romans killing Jewish dissidents--the main reason Jesus was hanged by the Romans because he refused to recognize Caesar as the Divine ruler of the world and not Jesus's dad, the Jewish god Jehovah. All the Holy Roller preachers today, trot there hillbilly or Hollywood wives out--they shape 'em up, like Creflo Dollar has turned his Gawja country girl wife into a high society dame now, made a preacher out of her like Doctor Gene Scott made a preacher out of his last wife, Melissa, an Italian-born babe who's weird as hell but also enticingly Eve-like in her long crimped hair, her cool glasses, topped off by her slightly off-key angelic way of country singing, which she does, she sings and she preachers and she literally keeps the exact same expression on her face not matter what the hell she's doing. Why, dammit, that old bastard Doctor Gene has Swengali-ed her into his female image. I love the way she moves. I'm sure, like Aimee Simple McPherson, the mother of all these kooks, she's a sexual giantess, an Amazon firecracker in bed--domitrix, yes, but firecracker just the same. Sorry, when it comes to women, I'm a deviate.
At the end of Doctor Gene's teaching on the resurrection of Joshua Ben Joseph, the Essene Jewish Reformer, they gave his Website. Yesterday afternoon, I Googled the Website and DAMN, Doctor Gene is DEAD. Prostate cancer took him down. He refused medical treatment saying Jesus would heal him--then it was too late when he finally gave up and tried chemo and shit like that. When he died he had suffered a stroke, a heart attack, and finally a fatal heart attack that slip him into a coma (not a comma as a student of mine once said) and then it was Adios, Doctor Gene Scott. Eugene Scott from Buhl, Idaho, to an empire in Pasadena, California, a home of religious nutjobs, like the late weirdo Herbert W. Armstrong and his British-Israelite movement. Anyway. Doctor Gene died in February of 2005. Pastor Melissa Scott inherited it all. Praise the Lard! She got the restored Warner Bros. theater in downtown L.A. that the Doctor called his Cathedral and all of Doctor Gene's rare bible collection, the largest private bible collection in the world. Plus she got Doctor Gene's teevee network, the University Network, and Melissa now streams old Doctor Gene footage 24 hours a day all over CABLE and the Internet. Praise the Lard for Melissa. She's one serious bitch. Check her out; she wouldn't be a bad misstress if some of you Hollywood hunk types are looking for source of income while you await your audition that's gonna send you higher in the heavens than Melissa--except good luck on that, Melissa right next to God now, you know.
I totally passed out after writing this brief post.
for The Daily Growler