Saturday, December 16, 2006

How Do You Feel When You Feel Like an Idiot?

The Question That Can Only Be Answered By An Idiot
“Damn, I feel like an idiot.”

How do I know I what an idiot feels like?

What is an idiot?

Idiota means an ignorant person.

Dictionary: “A person affected with idiocy.”

Aha. esp: a feebleminded person having a mental age not exceeding three years of age and requiring complete custodial care.”

So when I say, “Damn, I feel like an idiot,” what I’m really meaning is “Damn, I feel like a three year old.”

Do you remember when you were three? I do. I don’t think I was an idiot when I was three, but then I guess I was; so if I can remember what I knew when I was three then I should be able to know pretty closely how an idiot feels.

Now “idiocy” means “extreme mental retardation commonly due to incomplete or abnormal development of the brain.”

How about “Idiolectically speaking”? Wow, I like that. It has a nice ring to it.

The babblings of a three year old. But then, I don't think I babbled when I was three. I can remember being three. I talked pretty good. I knew what getting mad was. I could count pretty good--easily to a hundred by the time I was three, at the insistence of my father, who should have been a flim-flam man but he wasn't, except to himself--always he was flim-flamming himself. So, Jesus, I was an idiot at three, according to the dictionary.

Here's an idiot test I found on the Internet; it's all in fun but to a Sociologist, it's pretty serious. I scored 41% idiocy.

What does idiocy look like in print:

WASHINGTON, Dec. 15 — Military planners and White House budget analysts have been asked to provide President Bush with options for increasing American forces in Iraq by 20,000 or more. The request indicates that the option of a major “surge” in troop strength is gaining ground as part of a White House strategy review, senior administration officials said Friday. (New York Times)

There ya go. Idiocy on the march. "Idiocy Mission Accomplished."

Here's kind of a fairly sort of humorous(?)(sic) blog run by a level-head using the word "idiot" in his blog handle in order to get idiots to hit on his blog:

The pillageidiot here clued me in to Indian men having penises that don't measure up to the idiot's tape measure. Poor Indian men. It used to be Japanese dudes when I was a young stud. It was always, "Hey, we Amuricans have the biggest dicks 'cause we are the biggest dicks." A kid I played golf with in high school was called "Watchband" because it was said his penis was so thick, he could wear his wristwatch on it. Watchband said it wasn't true that he wore his wristwatch on his penis. Watchband claimed it wasn't true because he couldn't get his wristwatch on his penis.

Aren't I on the right track with this idiocy thing?

for The Daily Growler

Next comes "The Id in C."

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