Thursday, August 17, 2006

National Guard Changed Her Life

There is a recruitment advertisement for the New York State National Guard running on NYC teevee. It shows a young black woman wearing an olive drab military dress uniform. She invokes several reasons for her joining the National Guard--she looks like she's going to cry she's so proud she's in the National Guard. She, of course, mentions "serving her country," whatever that means. Then she gets really misty eyed and mentions "the terrorists attacking America on 9/11" and how she's proud to be doing her job to help protect the rest of us cowards from more terrorists. She tops it off by saying that through the National Guard she got her college degree from the John Jay School of Law, which is a law school where cops and soldiers go to get law degrees--then she cheerfully says, "And look at me now." I'm thinking, "Yeah, darlin', look at you now...I'd better look at you now 'cause you might be dead tomorrow when they suddenly need you in Iraq--eat that John Jay degree." It's a commercial full of stereotyping: a black woman using the National Guard to get ahead in life--kind of implying, it's the only way she would have ever gotten ahead, you know, being a black woman, blah, blah, blah.

I feel so sorry for her; except I know, she's probably in the communications end of the military, meaning she makes these commercials on orders; "Trooper Black Woman, you will make a commercial saying how much you love the New York National Guard. Ten-Hut."

Her commercial was followed by a commercial for a specially minted medal commemorating...yep, you guessed it, the fifth anniversary of 9/11 and the destruction of the World Trade Center buildings. They show this rather crudely minted gold piece--they say it's 24K gold--though I'm pretty sure it's gold plated--with the buildings of the World Trade Center in .999 silver, "made of silver recovered from the ashes of Ground Zero" in the center of the medal's obverse. Here's the gimmick: the silver buildings "rise up like hope out of the shining skyline of New York City"--yep, the silver buildings are slotted in the face of the gold medal to give a flat surface. When you pry the buildings up, they raise up on a hinge and "stand once again proudly at Ground Zero to honor the many Amuricans who died on that day of infamy." It was minted, the hypster is bellowing, to sell for $49.99, but for this early offer, these crooks are letting this piece of crap medal go for $29.99, which is pretty expensive for a gold-plated medal with a small inset of silver in it. It's the National Collectors Mint. These birds are well known among coin collectors. Only a couple of years ago the 9/11 survivors force the Treasury Department to stop the minting of another of their 9/11 coin schemes. They were also accused by the Treasury Department a few years ago of issuing a coin too close to the real coin for comfort and legality; they were accused of counterfeiting; but these birds never give up; this is too lucrative a hoax to let a charge of counterfeiting bother them. Now they're preying on the fears of 9/11. [It's hard to believe that happened 5 years ago.]

Don't buy one of these. They are not worth $29.99. They are worth about $7 if even that much.

As to our remembering the 3300 Americans who died in that tragedy: SORRY, but all of those folks weren't American. A good many of them were British and Irish; a good many of them were from the Middle East, too.

I've decided to put out some 9/11 commemorative pottery; made from the dust of the many good hardworking folks who were ground to powder that day; how many people really died in that tragedy? I don't think we'll ever know.

By the way, in case it's slipped your mind, more people died in the New Orleans hurricane disaster, but, hey, there's no important fear-factor money grab to be made off those dead folks; besides all of them were probably poor Americans and most of them were black Americans who the National Guard didn't help at all; in fact, shot at some of them, some even saying they were shooting to kill; although who really knows? I suspect a lot more people than 7,000 died in that horrible storm and the storm that followed it, Rita, I think that storm was called, but I also feel we'll never know until that big thick books years from now comes out with some evil facts. Spike Lee, I saw t'other night, is taking filmic advantage of New Orleans with a documentary that is said to be pretty powerful and revealing. I'm not a fan of film; I'm not a fan of Spike Lee (an NYU Film School grad), but I give him kudos for making this film--I love New Orleans so anything that puts a spotlite on that old true American mixed-bag city is fine with me.

The billionaire mayor of NYC is now bullhorning his desire to see the Dumbocrat Convention held in NYC in 2008. What is with this little imp? It's as though he loves putting the citizens of NYC in jeopardy. As Norman Mailer wrote in Advertisements for Myself [he was running for President on his own][remember, Mailer ran for mayor of NYC, with Jimmy Breslin] that everyone in the US of A and the rest of the world hated NYC and that if the Soviets [they were the boogiemen back in those lyin' days] ever decided to nuke the US of A, they would aim their nukes right at the middle of NYC; nowhere else. That's my feelings, too. The rest of you Amuricans who have never experienced what we here in NYC experienced that morning of 9/11 can't imagine what it's like to be the target of an all-of-a-sudden attack by several box-cutter carrying, still hungover Saudi Arabian nutjobs, that is if it really was several box-cutter hungover fools from Saudi Arabia--it's easy to have your doubts about that if you're a thinking person.

I never was very afraid of the Soviet Union nuking me. First off, their military equipment was crap; their trucks were crap; their airplanes were crap--even Ted Williams the baseball player shot down over 20 something MIG jets in the Korean War--they were really crappy jets--our F-111 Sabre Jets were a hell of a lot more maneuverable and carried more firepower in their machine guns [on my first liberty in the US Army, I went directly to Saint Louis and ate a steak and learned to drink Bacardi cocktails at Ruggiero's and then went over the MacArthur Bridge into East Saint Louis, Illinois, to the F-One-Eleven Club and hooked up with the house hooker who called herself Sabre Jett].

I am not right this minute worried about an Islamic force swarming NYC and taking us over and turning us into Muslims. I just can't see any of their forces as a threat to the US of A. Yes, terrorists can cause some commotions--Timothy McVeigh was a terrorist don't forget--Georgie Porgie, our "president" is a terrorist to Iraqis and Afghans. I mean 3000 is a lot of human beings to die in one military attack, but I do believe 30 times more people have died in our revenge for 9/11 in Iraq and Afghanistan than died in the WTC, including 2500 of our own young men and women, like that woman in that New York State National Guard commercial--so proud of what the Guard has done for her--made her somebody important--you know the irony of it is that by now, she could be in a flag-draped cardboard coffin, already buried in some dreary cemetery in Queens.

It is such a shame we love killing each other so much; it's so ingrained in our instincts; we crave bloody meat; like those Donners that ate their babies to survive that brutal winter stranded in the Sierra Madres out in California, just above beautiful and now gambling rich Lake Tahoe. One of the Donners who ate a baby's brains said he had to admit they were pretty good eating, much better than the leg or arm meat he had eaten the day before.

"Kill or be killed" is one of the mottoes you learn in the US Army. That's what it's all about being in any army; it's "Kill or be killed."

I feel for Jill Carrol but don't you think she's already got her bestseller written? I've been reading her "capture" story in the tabloids. It seems like her captors were desperate. It seems they treated her a hell of lot better than Lynndie England and her boyfriend, Charles Graner, treated the prisoners at Abu Ghraib--and they were under orders from a higher command, too (old Rummy himself approved the actions she's now serving time in the slammer for). It seems to me Jill was treated better than all those uncharged wretched slobs in Gitmo. At least her captors gave her clean clothes, food, and let her watch teevee. [Isn't it strange that these insurgents had a teevee set running the whole time they were saying they were going to kill poor Jill.]

Jill's an interesting study; Freud would love her; but then he'd love Lynndie England, too.

Just in case you don't know the story, HERE'S LYNNDIE:

And good luck on your bestseller, book tour, and teevee appearances, Jill. You're in the money now, baby. Looks like the War in Iraq paid off for you. Not so lucky your translator.

Also, have you noticed, it looks like the confessed killer of JonBenet Ramsey may be a nutjob seeking fame and fortune. His ex-wife says he's full of total shit; she says she knows where he was when JonBenet was killed. I hadn't realized that Patsy Ramsey had died of cancer. Big Daddy Ramsey, he ran for a political office, and probably has him a new hot mama by now, looked awfully relieved when he thought this Thailand-caught dandy was believed. He's not out of the spotlite yet; could he have killed his own daughter, I'm sure we'll find out. In the meantime, JonBenet is getting more airtime than Baghdad, where another 50 or so just-plain-folks died today--maybe even one of Jill Carrol's captors died today, who knows.


A man who invents a cure for polio goes to his grave forgotten.

for The Daily Growler

A Daily Growler Sports Bulletin With Fabulous Marv Backbiter
The god-damn Yankees. Minor league pitching on a ball team of millionaire kids, millionaires because they're some of the best baseball players to ever play the game: names like Alex Rodriguez, Randy Johnson, Derek Jeter, Mariano Rivera are definitely bound for the Hall of Fame. Some say Alex Rodriguez is the best ballplayer ever. Yet, in today's horrible loss to the stupidly managed Baltimore Orioles, they have lost 11 out of 12 to Boston this year, Alex Rodriguez committed his 23rd error of the year. Alex Rodriguez is batting .270. The Yankees lost 12-2. Jared Wright, a hack, gave up 5 runs in the opening 3 innings of the game. That's all the Birds needed really. The millionaire Hall of Fame-headed kids looked like a team of sloppy Little Leaguers; they played like they were real bobble-heads. Another disappointment is this Double A phony Octavio Dotel; that son of a bitch has an ERA of 18.01--he pitched half an inning today and gave up three hits and three runs. He needs to be thrown back; he's not a legal catch.

Tomorrow the Yankees go to Boston and play the mighty Red Sox. Right now, I'm putting my Yankee dollars on the Red Sox. The Yankees were beaten today by Rodrigo Lopez a pitcher who came into this game with a 6.0 ERA; the Yankees could only get two runs off him; two home runs. The Yankees and the Red Sox are tied for first right now. It could be publicity hype; they are going to make millions of big bucks off this 5-game series. The Yankees are on a 4 million attendance for the second year in a row. I remember how when the Dodgers used to draw 3.5 million and people said no team could ever beat that.

I sometimes don't like the way Joe Torre, I think the best manager in baseball, uses his pitchers. Still, the Yankees will be there come the playoffs; I'm sure of that.

Bernie Williams had a double today that put him second with all-time Yankee double hitters; he's now second to a guy named Lou Gherig, who once set a record that baseball know-it-alls said would be impossible to beat; yet Cal Ripkin beat it. When I was a kid, we believed Babe Ruth's 60 homeruns would stand forever, though while I was in the US Army, Roger Maris hit 61 bambinos--and all poor Roger got for it is an asterisk. I saw Roger Maris hit one of those 61s and it was the highest, longest ball I've ever seen hit in old Yankee Stadium whose outfield fences were from 390s in left to 420 in straight centerfield, with that 380 rightfield porch--that's still out there.

Now they are going to build a new Yankee Stadium. They now have to build these rich bastards a new stadium every ten years; a new Yankee Stadium will make the Yankees seem like another team for me. The new Yankees Stadium is going to have 18 restaurants; even a restaurant for the bleacher bums. Baseball is becoming Mickey Mouse.

Here's a new baseball word for you: "Slurve." It's a slider/curve; therefore, a slurve ball.

BASEBALL, the greatest sport ever invented by human beings.

marvelous marv backbiter
for The Daily Growler

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