"Celebration Time/Come On!"

The "New Kool & the Gang" Hit Washington, District of Corruption
Yes, the staff of The Daily Growler did gang together in our Utter Chaos offices in the sky-absent lower depths of the Blogosphere and watch the whole 300-million-dollar affair--"Oh, Holy Christ," we heard Walter Crackpipe, our aging elder ex-talking head, scream, "why not pass those bucks out among the public? Holy shit. Look at the waste. Look at those Cadillac limos--they must have cost a million each--and look at all the police. They're everywhere. I mean Washington is a police state today. Look how they've penned people in along the mall there...see, they are penned in, they can't move forward or backward, only from side to side--like you control cattle as you lead them into the slaughterhouse. But just look at the luxurious life these conspicuous spenders live." "It's the Power Elite, Walt, you know that," thegrowlingwolf yelped from across the crowded room. "Good thing this happened while we still had analog signals!" Barabas Munn-Dayne blurted out. "Our political Power Elite. Hell yes they live well. Everyone of those people you see there, I mean the Congressmen and women, the Supreme Court Justices...and by the way, how big of a fool is John Roberts?...so everyone of those fat cats...and as I watched old Pappy Bush come waddling in, all decked out in his cashmere topcoat and silk, cashmere, scarf, with his silverheaded cane, I thought about how We the People have made that worthless of piece of shit human filthy rich, and now we're gonna be laying out millions of dollars to his worthless piece of shit son, who was the most impeachable-ever president--except, now that I mull it over, since he stole both his electorial wins, he maybe Constitutionally was never president therefore unimpeachable--but again I say, look at those limos, those 50 or 60 limos that led Obama from having breakfast with Junior and Pickles in what was still their White House (built by slaves)--the first black to ever be a guest in the White House and not a slave or a servant was Booker T. Washington during Teddy Roosevelt's term in office--then not again for decades--until maybe JFK's time--and look at all those black SUVs with the black-out glass all around them, look, there are hundreds of them--with their lights flashing. What does that symbolize? Police state, yes, like Crackpipe said, that symbolizes the power of the police in this country--black SUVs, driven mostly by black guys wearing black shades and black gloves, I kid you not--and it looks so disgustingly silly to me. Screw that obligation to protect the president bullshit. Luci Baines Johnson, the eldest of Lyndon "Big Balls" Johnson's semi-beautiful daughters, said she was 17 when she moved into the White House and what a pain in the ass all the Secret Service and servants were and her old man told her, hey, this isn't your house, it's the people of the USA's house, we're just getting to live here because they elected me president--it's their permanent residence. And I'm thinkin', yeah, and we're supposed to be able to go to the White House and always be welcomed in--yeah sure. And look at how these people just expect to be waited on hand and foot. I watched how Hillbilly Hill and Slick Willie jumped right in a big old limo like they expected it and if it hadn't of been there, like if they'd a been told they had to walk, oh boy, the Power Elite asswhipping you'd'a gotten. Anyway, look at all the wasted millions on just serving these millionaire assholes--and look at the servants, rushing to open doors for their highasses--except Joe Biden opened his own doors, that Scranton po' boy now a millionaire--with sons serving in Iraq and you notice Biden doesn't mention why they are in Iraq and what they are doing over there...like are they in combat or are they privileged officers who are just lying around the Green Zone checking out the latest Mercedes at the Mercedes dealership or maybe having a beer at Harry's Bar or maybe enjoying an evening of karioke with some unveiled ladies of the Levantian evening--so look, we're supporting most of the Biden family--except the schoolmarm Biden, Jilly, who says she such an important teacher she's gonna keep on teachin'--well, hot dog, so we're not supporting her, but we are her two sons and her husband--We the People have made Joe Scranton Biden a Joe Delaware Biden millionaire now, po'boy made good--and then I learn this Eric Holder dude who's gonna be the lawyer in charge of giving us our rights under he laws of the land and who's gonna enforce any laws the financial world breaks--this son of a bitch is a corporate law millionaire--what the hell is he doing in Constitutional law? And I watched that slick rascal, nontaxpaying new Sec'y of the Treasury, that asshole, and now We the People are gonna support his ass, and we're gonna make Hillary Clinton richer now that we've made her Sec'y of State and soon she'll be flying all over the world, buying Ferragamo shoes on her way to a meeting with the Shieks of Araby or wherever Hillbilly Hill will be flying at our expense all around the world that's now her village. And look at all the police--or did I say that. And there wasn't one arrest. Nobody was there for confrontation and assassination, hell no, the cops don't understand such unity of citizens--and usually they are eager to fire at least tons of teargas into so large a gathering. Can you imagine how Bush would have controlled that large a gathering of We the People of the United States who hated his vulgar privileged ass--and Praise de Lawd and pass me some of them biscuits and honey, they booed that little assholes ass when he came sheepishly looking out onto the Capitol podium--and Unka Dick, how clownish did that old wreck of an asshole look--he pulled a muscle in his fucking back packing up made to get his shit out in 1 hour or lose it--and a Federal judge, one of those Neo-Con appointments, ruled in favor of Unka Dick in a case brought to force him to turn his papers over to the National Archives--who cares--it's nothing but scribbling. Whew, I'm worn out."

God, and we're worn out, too. thegrowlingwolf the abominable snowjob man--we jest, of course, hail Caesar to our leading protagonist.

And there did seem to be a lot of waste. Congress people do live very good lives. So do our ex-Presidents. "Did you see 'em snub Jimmy Carter?" Crackpipe again piped up. "Oh yeah, he kissed George Washington with Boobs but he breezed right by Slick Willie and G.H.W.--did you see how he's shufflin' along--probably riddled with gout from eating rich cuisines three-meals-every-damn-day. Like look what happened to Uncle Teddy when he had conspicuously consumed at that luncheon--'Ah, come on, nursey, let old Uncle Teddy have a little swig of that gin. I'm a hearty god-damn paddy Irishman, I'll be nippin' from the bottle long after I'm dead...er-ah, ooooh, BURP, aggha, er-ah, er-ah....' 'Another shot of gin, Senator Kennedy, er...Senator? I think he's passed out. Look how red his face is.' 'Wow, that must be powerful gin old Uncle Teddy has in that flask.' And Robert Byrd, too. The excitement got to his old leathery heathen ass."

And Jimmy Carter snubbed them and they snubbed him. Roselyn snubbed Hillbilly Hill and George Washington with Boobs. Of the three ex-Presidents, Jimmy now seems the most repentent of his presidential sins, and we don't count Junior Bush as ever being elected honestly president, not that any president is elected honestly, not even Obama if you check out who contributed to his campaign and then who actually paid for his inauguration! "And how about Wall Street tumbling another 200 points?" Frannie & Zoe chirped up. Frannie & Zoe look "little girl" hot today in their candy-striper blouse and very short little schoolgirl skirt. "Love those red-striped stockings, you little Minky," charming old Colonel Singing S. Singh just in from his rajah-like estate in the Rangipur sang out to F&Z.

"Don't I recall, Wolfie, your proposing that the Stock Market should bottom out back around 4,000?" Elmer Snowedin, thethedailygrowlerpoetlaureate. "Hey, Elmer," Mister Ed our editing horse neighed out, "did you write us one of those objectionable...er-ah, I mean, objective poems of yours commemorating this inauguration?--by the bye, during the parade, one of those god-damn Indians was ridin' a pretty cute-looking little spotted filly that I wouldn't mind doin' the Dawg with...." That vile statement was followed a series of horse laughs we're getting used to around here.

"All in all, staff, how would you grade the day?" We the Staff asked the Staff.

thegrowlingwolf: "He's a stunning politician, but, that may be all he is. As to how powerful he's gonna be, well, that's to be seen. I wish he hadn't of picked such a team of losers to surround himself with and I wish Joe Biden weren't such a hayseed, but, hell, I was impressed with Obama's image and the character he's trying to emulate, and I gotta give him checkmarks on making people really believe he digs his hot mamma and his perfect daughters--but then on the other hand, this guy has the world on a string if he wants it. Like old Jack Van Impe said t'other night on teevee--isn't Jack in the The Daily Growler Hall of Shams?--if he isn't, I vote him in right now--Barack Obama could be the Anti-Christ--and I hope he is. That'll get rid of these fundamental Christians once and for all--that is if what they believe is TRUE is TRUE! [horse laughs yodeled all around the room]--then bring that on, too--I'd love to look up one day and see those famous hebbin'ly clouds roll in and part and a huge giant Jewish man riding on a big white Garden of Eden horse leading an army of men with wings on their backs would comeforth at us--I assume there are no female angels--only female witches--because we know the DEVIL always tempts men into sin through women [a bunch of 'oogah-oogahs' were heard bouncing off the walls]. And yes I did predict that in order to become realistic, the Dow had to tumble back to around 4000, which it could easily do in the coming months. Check out J. Orlin Grabbe's economy expert--I can't remember his name right now, but click on the late great Mr. Grabbe's link over in The Daily Growler blog list and see if you can find this guys economy charts and shit on that still-running site. You think maybe J. Orlin is faking his death? I do. I hope he is. That's so cool, to fake your own death and get away with it. Attend your own funeral! Wow!"

We think thegrowlingwolf could have gone on for another hour.

waltercrackpipe: "And it's another day in the world and yes the US of A has a cool new president--obviously a president with the people looking to him for miracles. Especially black people. I've never seen black people so happy. Even commercial teevee's own Mr. Big Head Weatherman, Al Roker, reporting from the side of Pennsy Avenue as Obama made the trip down to the White House reviewing stand after his inauguration speech, was like a kid, shouting out at Obama, trying to get him to come over and let Al interview him, and Obama did turn and look over there but whether he knew who the hell Big Head Al Roker was isn't certain, though Al said Obama hollered 'It's warm' over at him--and Al started whooping and jumping up and down and saying, 'I can't believe it, he looked over at me and he said, "It's warm," so I did the first interview with the president,' and Al started whooping and saying 'I can't believe this...waaaahooo!' And even all the commercial teevee talking heads were awed by this 2-million-plus turn out of regular people--people from all over the USA, one dude down from some distant lonely point in Alaska--and several huge families from California--everybody living in the street, just to be there, just to be on the grounds within proximity if needs be, people backed up all over that area of the District of Corruption. It was an awesome sight and Obama was Kool & the Gang, man, and he and his woman are now the King and Queen of the Big Hop! Whoooooooey!"

Overdramatic! Maybe that's the best criticism of the whole pompous & circumstance affair. Oh well, at least we have a real president again. We wish him Growler luck. "You can make it if you try." And as a PS: Aretha Franklin has no equals; 'bout as American as you can get.

thestaff
for The Daily Growler