Monday, March 10, 2008

"Hey, Governor, Can You Get Me a Whore?"

While We Were Working Our Asses Off
I watched Governor Spitzer standing there with his "faithful" wife saying he's sorry he "disappointed" We the People of the State of New York. He's sorry! He's sorry alright, but, OK, his simple explanation--it's a private matter--was good enough for me. Hell, I've been in a whorehouse before--hell, I've even met friends in whorehouses in Mexico and the US--and one time in Jamaica, Queens, New York, I met a chick whose father owned three day-rate hotels in a four block radius and these hotels were nicely done, nice decor, color teevee with vhs players, good art on the walls, and I met this guy's daughter and she was very up front about it--she and her sisters cleaned the joints after the day-guests had shot their wads and the next john was readin' the girly mags on the table in the lobby in hard anticipation of a romp in the satin sheets hay with a fine little cutie ready for some pay-for-play fun--"Why," I naively chirped, "this is a whorehouse--" "And a very successful one, too," she replied, batting her eyes. "Who are the girls?" "They're just regular young girls, college students, or housewives, we have some beautiful bored housewives--especially firemen and cops's wives--but we call them 'escorts' because they aren't prostitutes." "Escorts?" "Yes." "Like call girls." "No, call girls are prostitutes, our escorts aren't prostitutes, I told you." "So how's it work?" "It's like you're in NYC on big business and this business requires you to need an escort or after a busy and stressful day in the business world you need some fun time, then you call us and we will provide you with the most beautiful woman you've ever seen, and this escort will be studied in the feminine graces--she's not only great to look at but she's relaxing and she knows the best foods, the best wines, and then the most soothing techniques of relaxation and letting go...." "Guaranteed happy endings?" "No, Wolfie, it's more sophisticated than that." "Can I fuck an escort?" "Well, yes, of course, but that's only one part of the package." "How much?" "Three hundred an hour." "Whoaaaaa and dudes pay that?" "Damn right. We've got a girl who gets six hundred an hour. She's particular. Politicians love her 'cause she's so discreet and gentle." "Yeah, you get a lot of politicians." "Politicians and pastors...I know them all, white and black." "How 'bout you? You ever 'escort'?" "Yes, I've done it several times. My sisters do it, too." "Your dad doesn't mind." "We don't put out--we just escort." "You wouldn't put out for the right price?" "Hell, yes. I was offered a thousand dollars the other night by a guy whose name you'd recognize--married, three children, on teevee every day. Yeah, he wanted me so bad he offered me a thousand dollars." "Did you do him?" "Not for a thousand." She laughed. "Not for a thousand, then how much?" "I jokingly said 'I'll fuck you for 3 grand,' and he said, 'get ready, lady, you're fixin' to get fucked.'" "Three thousand bucks for a fuck." "Would you pay 3 grand for me?" "If I was rich and lookin' for a whore." "We're not whores, Wolfie, we're escorts."

True story. And yes politicians are hooked on sex, drugs, and power--look at 'em all--FDR, the Dumbocrat saint, was fucking his secretary while he was being pushed around in his wheelchair as the loving husband of his mug-ugly wife, his first cousin, Eleanor.

Ike Eisenhower. Honest Ike? Don't kid yourself. Ike was fucking his driver and later secretary during WWII while his wife Mamie was back home swilling herself in a lonely stupor holding a whiskey bottle tightly to her untouched bosom.

And JFK. Well, hell, who wasn't he banging? Well, maybe he wasn't banging Jackie...but then, they had three kids, bang, bang, bang--and Jackie was a piece of ass; remember the nudes of her after JFK died and Jackie O went on a Story of O romp all around the Mediterranean with Ari and other dudes and a paparazzi caught her tooling around buck naked at some St. Tropez bungalow?--there was even a great topless shot of Jackie and Caroline walking on a beach--what a sorry bunch of white trash those people were--and the Kennedys especially--I mean look at their vaunted father and the virginal Mama Rose--how many babies did Mama Rose kick out of that Irish Catholic oven? While Mama Rose was knocked up and pure Daddy Joe was bangin' Gloria Swanson, right above the Kennedy dining table up in the Boston Back Bay--bangin' her so loud it made the sons horny and Mama Rose blush. "Oh, Joe, it's so big." "What's that his ego," Mama Rose shouted up toward the ceiling.

How sordid a family was that? And JFK while president was bedding down with the Chicago mob boss's bitch. I mean, come on, folks.

And Lyndon "Big Balls" Johnson was a notorious womanizer while he was president--remember he was dicking Nancy Dickerson the first-ever newswoman at CBS even though her son claims her relationship with "Big Balls" was purely on the up and up. OK.

Jimmy Carter only had fantasy sex while he was in the White House. He lusted in his heart.

Richard Nixon was such an low-life bastard; he banged Chinese whores while his wife was left alone with only a bottle of triple malt scotch to keep her company.

G.W.H. "Pappy" Bush was rumored to have had a Chinese woman, too, he was supposed to have shacked up with occasionally.

Then we come (or is that "cum") to Slick Willie Jeff Clinton. "Wanna see my dick?" That's what Paula Jones said he said to her right before the Arkansas State Police escorted Paula up to Bill's room to see that dick and ended up seeing it up really close--close enough to kiss it. How gross is that? Think about that? Think about Hillary when she found out about that shit? How pissed off and bitter did she get? Oh hell yeah she was gonna hold on to the Slick One, he was her future, he was her highway to fame and fortune--she knew that the minute she met him and that first night Willie banged her--the shy, shivering virgin--you think so?

Am I salacious? These creeps I'm salaciously attacking sure are; and nobody holds them responsible for any of this shit. Like Slick Willie diddling Monica Lewinsky with a Cuban cigar. Aren't Cuban cigars illegal in this country? Oh, that's right; they're only illegal for the powerless to own and enjoy.

And I'm spieling all of this out because I just watched the pathetic Elliott Spitzer saying he was sorry he'd disappointed the State of New York and his family. Bullshit, Elliott, you fool. Deny, deny, deny. You nut. You know you guys get whore privileges--We the People gladly pay $4,000 an hour for your favorite whore, little Kristin ("Not her real name"), to travel from New York to the District of Corruption, to the Mayflower Hotel so you can bang her all night--hey, that's a nice hotel, too--expensive rooms, but then again, and I'm sure I speak for the rest of my fellow New Yorkers, come on, we want our politicians while they're in the District of Corruption grubbing up monies through some pork barreling and picking up some lobbyist monies and some transportation monies to be completely relaxed--at ease--I mean, a politician can't think crooked as a snake at night when that snake in his pants is coiled, hissing, and ready to strike--so, hey, get Emperor Escorts on the line and tell 'em it's Client 9 and to put little Kristin on Client 9's private helicopter and get her young ass down to the Mayflower mucho pronto 'cause Elliott's gonna spritz her with his big spittin' tool all night long. Elliott has three daughters. Aren't daughters the sign of a quick shooter?

I don't think Elliott Spitzer did anything wrong. Fuckin' around is a privilege a politician or a rich bastard deserves. The wives don't give a shit; they get big bucks when they divorce these sex maniacs (most males, folks) and they both will get great book deals--so what the hey, it's America, folks--the land of the quick buck and the quick fuck.

Spitzer got in deep while he was New York Attorney General against the big, big moneyed boys of Wall Street. He went after them for big big buck fines and shit. They hated his smarmy ass, believe me, and Wall Street ain't past putting a hit out on somebody as smart-ass as Elliott was when he was climbing up that political ladder toward those political Pearly Gates that Elliott thought once he got inside them, fucking a whore or two at the expense of your constituency was just a perk that comes with the job--and $4000 an hour for a hot little minky whore is cheap--hey, I'll take her if Client 9's through with her; sloppy seconds don't matter to me. Plus this Kristin will get a book out of it, too, and a Playboy layout---hooo boy, ain't life grand when you're privileged?

I say drive all these bastards out of office and close down all governments. Let the people rule themselves. Oh my God, is that the same as espousing atheism?

thegrowlingsexmaniacalwolf
for The Daily Growler

Great Whores of the Past

http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/Phil_Masters/lola_bw.jpgLola Montez. She smoked cigars, too.
http://www.crimelibrary.com/graphics/photos/gangsters_outlaws/mob_bosses/schultz/5b.jpgMadam Polly Adler, author of A House Is Not a Home.
http://www.lisamoscatiello.com/blogtest/uploaded_images/xaviera2-794218.jpgXaviera Hollander (de Vries real name; born in Indonesia), The Happy Hooker.
The image “http://cache.viewimages.com/xc/2482236.jpg?v=1&c=ViewImages&k=2&d=17A4AD9FDB9CF1934A2752006EF5F0ED5BDF764D69EDFFFC5A5397277B4DC33E” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.Sidney Biddle Barrows, the Mayflower Madam.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Driving all those bastards out the office alone does not work. You forget the other very powerful political institution in control....(drum droll please) and it is the church. Note that I say political instead of religious. The tax free money, the political influences put the preachers/pastors in the same bed with the politicians. More than often they also share the same taste, the same whores, but are more discreet.