Monday, March 17, 2008

"The Left Behind"

Praise the LARD and Pass Those Fluffy Biscuits and Some of That Hog Gravy Over Here!
One of my favorite "pastors" (that's Christian for "man of Gawd" ("Yahweh," though the Christians pronounce it "Je-ho-vah" (there is no "j" sound in Hebrew or Arabic--"J" is "Yah") and means the same in Hebrew as "Allah" does in Islam) is "Doctor" Jack Van Impe, a Dutchman from Michigan, and there are a lot of Dutch immigrants in Michigan, especially around Holland and Troy. Last night--"Doctor" Jack was on late-night teevee (when Gawd's people seem to be up and needing spiritual guidance) with his emaciated-looking white wife, Rexella--she tries to be sexy like Lauren Bacall was when she was 18 and bangin' Bogie and any other man who craved her, and a lot of them did--she was hot as holy hell in post-War sex-starved America--just think, during WWII the horny young women left behind (all the healthy boys were drafted into the War) had only 4-Fs and their government-job bosses to have sex with while their true loves were off in foreign lands dodging bullets and bombs, some not making it, and those making it getting the inevitable "Dear John" letter (it comes from a hillbilly song called "Dear John"--I can still hear the tune in my memory, but only the first line, "Dear John, I brought your saddle home...."--but it's all about a cowboy fightin' in the just war, WWII, and he gets this letter from his cowgirl back home--another cowboy has riddin' into her life so she don't need John's saddle anymore. Something like that. I gotta lotta WWII songs still in my head, "Comin' in On a Wing and a Prayer!," "Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammunition" (that was good one--all about the boyz in a B-17 bomber (the "B" stood for "bomber"), each one of 'em gettin' blown away but as they do they holler, "Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition...."), "Gloomy Sunday," as sung by Marlene Dietrich, who'd a been a Nazi had she not come to the US because of the many German directors and filmmakers that escaped over here in the late twenties and early 30s, before Hitler foxed his way to power on the backs of the true German believers--the German elite (read: rich) who were losing their shirts due to a war-ruined economy, a Great Depression (we call "depression" "recession" now--recession doesn't sound as hopeless as depression), so they blamed it on the Socialists and the League of Nations and the Commies and the Jews and Homosexuals and Gypsies--I mean, come on, Fascism is based on FEARS--it always has to have its dominant population convinced it is being threatened by demonic people, devils in Christian parle and yes the Nazis were Christians don't forget--good Lutherans--Hitler himself confessed to being a Christian--he was a vegetarian, too--I mean the "evil" is in the person and not the dogma--the "evil"--and I don't believe in "good" and "evil"--they are meaningless words to me--but I use them in the "familiar" sense--I mean most people do believe in "good" and "evil"--billions of people, so I use these terms instead of "instincts" and "archetypes" and "legends" and words like that, which billions of people have no idea what the hell they mean--but good and evil, hey, now I'm talking and being listened to.

So last night in the early morn cheap teevee hours, "Doctor" Jack Van Impe and the semilovely Rexella were jumping and dancing with glee. It seems "Doctor" Jack has a new DVD out--all done with free money since the good Doctor doesn't pay one lick of taxes on "Gawd's" money so he's got plenty of tax-free bucks to build television and film studios with the latest cameras and editing equipment and simple fool young people who have learned communications and film at Coe College or Calvin College--I mean there are tons of Dutch reformer types in Michigan. And "Doctor" Jack's new DVD is called 2012.

"Doctor" Jack explains the film. What he's done, he says, is go through the Good Book (it's called the Christian bible--it's in English, translated from koine Greek supposedly by the linguistics genius King James, a weird Brit king, a rascal, yes, but a royal who considered himself a Renaissance man--so King James translated the current Christian bible that is accepted by freaky Michigan hillbilly sermonizers like "Doctor" Jack) and in going through the Good Book, he says he has come up with long equations and deciphered numerical meanings in Gawd's weird way of explaining years and months and days and has miraculously come up with a DATE that is pretty close to when guess who is comin' back! "Doctor" Jack uses our current Pagan calendar in proving his timelines--a calendar that gives allegiance to a host of Gawds, and we've got millions of Gawds in our combined cultures, like the two-faced Janus, or the warring-constantly Mars, the Sun, Saturn (yep, Saturn was a god who ate babies), Wotan the Norse God (how'd he get in there?), and Thor (the name of Yahweh and Allah in Norse legends), and February is a Pagan festival or something--I'm going on memory--Febrias--oh, hell, I'll Google it and find out, but it doesn't matter right now, and the Roman Zeus Jupiter's wife Juno--you catch my drifting and drifting. Whatever, "Doctor" Jack using his brand of empiricism and math and conjecture has come up with 2012 as the year guess who's comin' back--his second coming--and Praise the Lard we hope J (yah) oshua ben Jo (Yo) sef has enough testosterone to come a second time--by the bye, there is no "Jeeezus" in Hebrew or Aramaic or Elamite or Acadian or Sumerian or Egyptian hieroglyphics, only in White Christianity-speak--unless you call him "Hay-sus" like the Spanish who name at least two of their sons Jesus (and, yes, the others Jose). Check it out, the following explains where all our calendar names come from:

January - ME Januari(us), OE Januarius, translation of Latin Januarius, named after JANUS, god of beginnings.
- ME OE Februarius from Latin Februarius, named for Februa, the feast of purification.
March - ME March(e), from Latin Martius, (month of) Mars.
April - ME Averil, OF Avril, Latin Aprilis mensis (month). The name may derive from the Greek goddess of love, Aphrodite.
May - ME OE Maius, Latin Maius mensis (month), from the Greek Maia, goddess of spring (growth).
June - ME Jun(e), OE Iunius, from Latin mensis Junius, named after the goddess Juno, Queen of the gods.

July - ME Julie, OE Julius, from Latin Julius (Caesar) after whom it was named in 44 BC. The original name was quintilis, fifth month in the early Roman calendar.
August - ME OE Agustus from Latin Augustus (Caesar) 8 BC. The original name was sextilis, sixth month in the early Roman calendar.
- ME Septembre from Latin September, seventh month in the early Roman calendar
October - ME OE from Latin October, eighth month in the early Roman calendar
November - ME OE from Latin November, ninth month of the early Roman calendar, from novem NINE
December - ME Decembre from OF and Latin December, tenth month of the early Roman calendar (decem TEN + membri from mens MONTH + ri suffix).

So "Doctor" Van Impe (pronounced "Imp-eee" (you could call him Wimpy, too; he even looks like Wimpy from the old Popeye cartoons--the original Popeyes are surreal as hell--I mean the originals and not the diluted stupid ones of the early 50s)) says Geee-zus is comin' back in 2012 and that brought on a lot of sexy "Praise the Lards" from Rexella--right before she tells you how much it's gonna cost your ass to find out exactly when Joshua ben Josef will ride out of the big thunderhead clouds on his big WHITE steed (white means purity to a Christian--especially a White Christian---why "white" represents "good" and "black" represents "evil" to White Christians--that's why anything black to them represents evil--you catch on now? This is why Christian churches in the South went right along with slavery--even though the story of the Jews enslavement by the Egyptians and how wrong that "slavery" was in the eyes of the Judaic Gawd is a major part of Christian philosophy--the struggling in the Wilderness--the desert--the salvation always coming from the sky in desert religions (Paul Bowles made that very clear), which is true in all desert-based religions, like Islam--salvation (the Messianic) comes from the sky and not the earth; the earth is the enemy to someone raised in the desert. Such bullshit, but, hey, it's believed faithfully by billions of people.

So be prepared SINNERS, by 2012 you'd better run down to a Holy Roller church and get yourself "saved"--baptised in some holified city water--I've always said the day I was dipped into the grave (that's what the city water in the baptismal tank or in the Holy Fountain symbolizes to Christians) and then REBORN as I was pulled out of the water. Right before I was baptized, a hot minky girl was baptized, I knew her and had already been lusting after her (I resisted being baptized until I was 13) and when the old reverend dunked her into the grave and then brought her up again, someone had forgotten to tell this hot minky girl to wear her underwear under the Holy Gown (it's WHITE like Jesus's robe) so she got bareass naked and put the gown on and when she was REBORN, Holy Shit, that gown stuck to her luscious body and when she walked out of the Holy water tank and right toward me and by me, I could see everything, her breasts, her naked body, her pubic hair, thick black and a burning bush coming through that gown's wet stickiness--by then, my dick was a burning spear--I had my jockeys on but still my pecker made a tent pole under my holy gown and all I had on my mind while I was being lowered into the grave and then being arisen REBORN was the remembrance of those breasts, those two youthfully perky and pointedly noticeable protrusions from her sweet thin chest and her really thin waist, her flairing hips, and that burning bush--that black thick sporran between her legs, at the beautiful V at the base of her flat stomach. And as a REBORN Christian, I rushed home to quickly masturbate (yes, I was Praising de Lawd the whole time--"OH, God, OH, GOD, oh I'm banging that beautiful woman saint, Gawd! OHHHHHHH..., Lawdy, Lawdy, and whoooo, thank you, Jesus, I needed that")--and then I rushed in to watch the Red Ryder Show on teevee with Red Ryder and his Injun pal Little Beaver--and yes, I'd seen a little beaver that day, Praise the Lard. So you see, I ain't worried a tad, folks. In 2012, I may just disappear from the face of the earth. All my left-behind heathen friends will say, "Hell, do you believe that sombitch was gathered up! So, Holy Shit, let's get to a Holy Roller church, there may still be hope for us."

How stupid does all of this sound.

Chaos Is'a Comin'
Unka Dick is in Iraq. Hell, John "the Hero" McCain was in Iraq, too. He was over there he said on a fact-finding mission. And "Mission Accomplished"--and during Unka Dick's and Shot-down John's visit to Baghdad there was holy hell violence all over town in their honor--Unka Dick said he saw that violence as rose petals being thrown at him for his diligence in saving their country. John McCain said he thought he'd have no problem in bringing even more Peace and Freedom to Iraq once he's the president. Unka Dick was met at the George W. Bush Airport by General Betray-us, who was looking so important in his general's fatigues. I always thought it funny how generals wear fatigues (they're custom made, too, since general officers have to pay for their own uniforms). Generals don't go into battle. And why are the General's fatigues like camouflage fatigues--what trees and bushes and shrubbery are there in Iraq to blend in with? It's really goofy when I see a general wearing fatigues.

And, boy howdy, how did it feel when We the People bailed out Bear-Stearns yesterday? Bear-Stearns was really burned to the point of demise by their reckless lending policies, once worth 13 billion bucks and now bought by J.P. Morgan for 250 million, with the guarantee from We the People that if Bear-Stearns still goes belly up, we'll pay J.P. Morgan their losses back--it could cost We the People billions of dollars? Amuricans reaction: "Wev."

The Federal Reserve seems to be able to do whatever it pleases with our money separate from any Congressional oversight--or, in other words, how did our bailing out of Bear-Stearns just happen without any Congressional hearings, blah, blah, blah? It's a part of the WAR economy, folks. The only industry we've had since WWII is the military industrial complex--our economy is based on weapons sales--I mean, that's all we make in this country, Weapons of Mass Destruction, laser guns, supertanks, superairplanes, more and more stockpiles of military weapons and equipment--that's our industry now.

Then George W. Bush gave a speech yesterday to a bunch of Afghanistan soldiers. Just think of the nerve of this rat-bastard little rich snob faux president that beat the VietNam War with the help of his old Pappy and Pappy's Texas fixers talking to these poor slob soldiers who have no choice but to go get killed for this lyin' sombitch--two of the men involved with Georgie Porgie's war records (you know, his AWOL papers) were killed by shotgun blasts--and we ask, where was Unka Dick at that time? Don't worry, he was around, living superrich in Houston with all his oilmen buddies, including Pappy Bush, though his address was listed for political reasons in Wyoming, where Unka Dick loves to go hunting on one of his many getaways, and Unka Dick owns quite a few getaways in Wyoming, Houston, and don't forget his private bunker somewhere unknown but still costing us millions of bucks in upkeep. We wonder if Unka Dick took his shotgun with him to Iraq? Come on, there must be some bird-shooting clubs in the Green Zone (another piece of shit We the People are paying billions of dollars for--the biggest Embassy ever in the history of embassies) and just like the Amurican numbskulls believe in a White Jesus and all that bullshit that brings these whiteys salvation from the skies--all the while totally disrespecting the earth (why the earth belongs to the Devil--take the D away and you got EVIL) they just as faithfully believe all the stupid and so ignorant lies told by this bunch of Fascists--and there stood Georgie Porgie Bush, a coward, saying to Afghanistani soldiers, "Hey, if I could, 'course I'm too old now, but hey, I'd like to go fight in Afghanistan. It must be quite exciting--er-ah (chuckle), it must really be a thrill to be involved in bringing freedom and democracy to these desert rat" He wasn't booed. Nope. He was cheered to high heaven by the poor stupid goon men and women who, as Bush remind them, too, volunteered for this man's army.

Such bullshit encourages my expectation of Chaos being a reality before I DIE--

And, I'm sorry, Christians and other fools, you gonna die just like I'm gonna die and 2012 will come and go and ain't nobody gonna eventually be left behind, not when Chaos gets through with us.

Praise Chaos!

for The Daily "Left Behind" Growler

Some Words About Chaos

Chaos has already had a lasting effect on science, yet there is much still left to be discovered. Many scientists believe that twentieth century science will be known for only three theories: relativity, quantum mechanics, and chaos. Aspects of chaos show up everywhere around the world, from the currents of the ocean and the flow of blood through fractal blood vessels to the branches of trees and the effects of turbulence. Chaos has inescapably become part of modern science. As chaos changed from a little-known theory to a full science of its own, it has received widespread publicity. Chaos theory has changed the direction of science: in the eyes of the general public, physics is no longer simply the study of subatomic particles in a billion-dollar particle accelerator, but the study of chaotic systems and how they work.


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