Tuesday, March 25, 2008

The Daily Growler Apologizes

thegrowlingwolf Tells Lies About George W. Bush Our Honorably Elected President and Champion Commander in Chief Who Has Never Lied in His Life!

We of The Daily Growler were bowled over by the accuracy of the comments made by Anonymous ridiculing thegrowlingwolf's traipsing about his watchtower day before yesterday while commenting on a Cadillac commercial he'd seen on media teevee. We don't go over the Wolf Man's stuff and censor it usually though now we see we may have to start checking his submissions and we'll damn sure have to do that after reading this "lying" post and seeing all the putrid and Amurican-defiling lies and misstatements and unpatriotic insinuations tumbling like rapids through this sordid piece of tripe. Obviously Anonymous has just returned from serving several tours in Iraq and Afghanistan and we thank him for his service over there--or if he's a middle-age man, we know his sons and daughters are currently serving over there, surely--WARS we agree with Anonymous that we are winning--when's the last time a terrorist bombed New York City for instance! That's proof enough for us that Amurica is winning both those righteous wars. Bush is right and thegrowlingwolf is as wrong as all lefties and cynics and folks that just shouldn't live in this country if it's so unappealing to them--they should move to Cuba--there, how's that? As for us, hell, we love our gas-guzzling SUVs, our apple pie, and damn right we love our mom; the SUV stands for all of that, the Amurican way to drive, pal, none of those sissy "electric" cars for us--and using sun panels to power a car, what stupidity! We need gasoline and oil dammit and petroleum products like plastic sacks and bottles, convenience stuff, and we need tons of it, not just our share, but all of it, dammit, and that's that. That's why God (yes, Jehovah, dammit, and we pronounce it "Gee"-hovah, too, and not like a Jewy Jew or a Moose-limb would pronounce it) made crude oil and coals for we Christian Amuricans to use to our heart's content. We argue, God knows what the hell he's (we agree, Anonymous, that God is a man, right?) doing; we mean, come on, can't God put oil and coal back in the ground as fast as we take it out if we turn to him and give him our wills, our physical beings, and let him Master over us the same as the plantation owners used to Master over their slaves--their possessions, the same as we are God's possessions? Besides, why would we believe a scientist when talking about our oil reserves drying up or global warming! I mean President Bush is an ex-successful oilman; certainly we can trust him and Oilman Richard Cheney to tell us the truth about our oil supplies, our God-given right to Iraq's oil (President Bush, the blessed man, has the guts to admit God talks to him and tells him what to do) and about how there is no such thing as global warming--big lies by lefties and commie-sympathizers, except for the Communist Chinese sympathizers who are our allies now and we respect them and kiss their bony asses as a big Capitalist windfall of 2 billion future gas and oil guzzlers and greedy automobile buyers and hungry steak eaters and record-breaking pollutionists, one of the biggest windfalls in the Global Marketplace--the true marketplace--and we have President Ronald Reagan to thank for the Capital markets idea and the free money theory of economics (you need money; you print more money)--and the "trickle down" theory has worked, folks, otherwise, why are there so many rich people in the USA? Like Anonymous, for instance. You see, we'll betcha Anonymous is a dude who has pulled himself (we assume he's a real man, usually people who are Anonymous are men) up by his bootstraps so why can't these sleazy lazy immigrating Messkins and boat-hopping Southeast Asians (we won the VietNam War, by the way, folks, and don't you forget it!) and illegal sneakin'-in to our country Moose-limbs (that's what we call these heathen towelheads); why can't these outside agitators catch on?--WE DON'T WANT YOUR SMARMY ASSES IN OUR COUNTRY! We the Peopl shout out loud!--HEY, more Guantanamos!; more Abu Gharibs!; more arresting Moose-limbs and throwing them as far back into those torture cells as possible, and throw in there with them, too, their buddies the lefties and pinkos and bleeding heart liberals--God we hate bleeding heart liberals who care more about the welfare of human beings than they do the security of this great country (and "welfare" is the key word in that statement). And all the rest of the world is jealous of the USA, folks--that's what 9/11 was all about--Moose-limb jealousies--they want to be rich like us and able to drink liquor freely like us and do cocaine like rich people who live in this country enjoy and you know screw as many women as they can seduce, with their seedy, vulgar eyes scanning our pure Amurican teenage daughters and SONs--why Moose-limbs are even jealous of our God and our Christianity! And this is a CHRISTIAN nation, baby, and don't forget it, especially if you're a Moose-limb or a Messkin (most are Catholics--and you know how WE feel about Catholics! The Pope's Nose is the last part of a chicken to fly over a fence--and we laugh at that clever identification but we believe it, too. The Pope, a man who wears a dress; except at least he's German; that's the only redeeming nature he's really got going for him).

And how dare thegrowlingwolf ridicule and talk about so true an Amurican hero as that Great Senator from the heart of freedom and democracy in this country, Arizona, John McCain, the NEXT PRESIDENT of the USA, folks; finally a true hero at the head of our armed forces--a man who knows victory--men like him helped us conquer horrible old commie VietNam and save the rest of Asia from the commies and their domino theory--except not the Republic of China--that was all false when we accused China of backing both North Korea in our victorious Korean War and also of backing North VietNam in our victorious VietNam War--lies, lies, lies-- lies spread by criminals like Hanoi Jane and her hippy lovers!

So we hope this maybe resurrects The Daily Growler in Anonymous's eyes--We are one hundred percent behind our great and caring President, George W. Bush, here at The Growler--history will prove him the greatest ever president we've ever had before history ends. God (Jehovah) has truly blessed our president with wisdom and understanding--I still shiver when I hear him tell the honest truth about why we are in Iraq and not chasing after Bin Ladin (who cares about him anymore?) and what the threat is from Al Queda (even the name scares us) and how if we don't let him pry into our private lives through our phone calls, emails, where we go on the Internet, with camera surveillances every where and chips in our passports now that track us everywhere we go then soon Al Queda will take advantage of our letting our defenses down and attack us--probably first in Illinois, coming down the Great Lakes with the viciously nuclear-head-missiled Al Queda Navy and its huge arsenal of remote-controlled jet bombers that will level most of our major cities--BUT we aren't worried or afraid as long as we stick to this seemingly unending (thank God for that--100 years if it takes it as Senator John McCain boldly argues) but extremely righteous, God-approved war. We know we are in good hand when we look closer at this fine Texas gentleman at his genuine fine Amurican family--his mom and dad, his truly gifted and truly patriotic brothers, his never-seen or mentioned sister, and, yes, and a big hearty yes, his wonderful daughters, such glamorous and truly fine Amurican white girls--pure as the driven snow--and his wonderful wife, Laura (we hate those vicious rumors that Laura sold marijuana in college and caused the death of one of her friends in an auto accident), and all she's doing to help the downtrodden people of the world with her humanity, which can be expressly seen in her strong relationship with the now-free women of Afghanistan who see her as a saint.

Why, We the Staff here at The Daily Growler will be first in line at the opening of the George W. Bush Presidential Library at SMU in Conservative Dallas, Texas, when it opens! We can't wait to research the important documents that will be in that beautiful library--a distinction we thought should go to Washington, D.C.--right alongside the Jefferson Memorial, since G.W. Bush reminds us so much of Thomas Jefferson!

How's that for apologies!

for The Daily Growler

Some Great Moments From President George W. Bush's History-Making Presidency
http://tomarline.com/images/capt.1051818423.bush_abraham_lincoln_wxs306.jpeg Our War-Winning Commander 'n Chief announcing we had captured Baghdad without losing a man or woman and that the mission he had set forth to accomplish was just that!
http://www.pensitoreview.com/images/photo-george-bush-finger.jpg Our President salutes We the People.

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