Friday, June 16, 2006

Looking Up to Masters

The New Grand Pooh Bah
Put on your hip boots; the bullshit has reached the flood stage. All across the teevee dials this morning and for most of the day the Jesus freaks, the Pentagon gravediggers and mass destruction planners, the jive-juiced figured-it-all-out experts, the ass-kissing toady loyalists, the Unka Dick-type of down-their-noses F U gang, the just-plain-old revengers, the hidden-gun-toting shut-my-mouth good ole boys, the Aryan Nation devotees, the Minutemen Mexican rounduppers, the amalgamated noosemakers, the apostles of being-dead-is-better-than-being-alive, the clowns from the circus of the absurd, the pig-jowled pig-shit-wallowers, the Matt Lauer-type news-hype pretty boys, the bouncy, dumbass-pretty, probably Asian, all-Cheshire-cat-smiles babe show hosts and the very serious-looking Washington on-the-spot babe reporters--THESE CHEESY BASTARDS ARE PROCLAIMING THAT GEORGIE PORGIE, OUR "PRESIDENT," HAS MASTERMINDED A CLEVER AND STEALTHFUL VICTORY OVER AL QAEDA, THE WHOLE DAMN KIT AND KABOODLE OF THEM, "DISABLED" THEY ARE SAYING, ACCORDING TO SECRET AL QAEDA PAPERS FOUND BY THE BIG IRAQI POLICE STATE BROWN SHIRT SQUADS YESTERDAY NEAR THE PLACID RUINS WHERE AL-ZARQAWI MIRACULOUSLY SURVIVED A DIRECT HIT BY 2, COUNT 'EM, 2, 500-lb BIG DADDY BOMBS LONG ENOUGH TO DIE IN THE ARMS OF THE GOOD-HEARTED AMERICAN SOLDIERS WHO WERE TRYING MADLY TO SAVE HIM, ONE BY STANDING ON HIS CHEST AND JUMPING UP AND DOWN...OH, SORRY, THAT'S THE ARMY WAY OF DOING RESUSITATION--hell, they are saying that AL QAEDA HAS BEEN BROKEN BEYOND REPAIR--AND IT IS ALL DUE TO THE BRILLIANCE OF OUR APPOINTED "PRESIDENT'S" SECRET "STICK-TO-IT" OPERATIONS IN HIS FOLLY-BLOATED WAR ON TERRORISM THAT HE FOILED BY TRICKING THEM INTO THE FOLLOWING HIS SHIFTY ASS INTO IRAQ, SEE THE DEVIATED DETAILS COMING SOON, WHERE HE TRAPPED 'EM USING AL-ZARQAWI AS BAIT--SINCE NOW WE KNOW AL-ZARQAWI WAS ACTUALLY THE ACTUAL HEAD OF THE ACTUAL AL QAEDA. HAVE YOU CAUGHT ON YET? THIS ALL DUE TO GEE-PORGIE DECIDING THE BRILLIANT HITLER-LIKE MILITARY MANEUVERS THAT LED TO THE KILLING (KILLING IS ALWAYS THE FINAL SOLUTION) OF AL-ZARQAWI, WHO, AND AGAIN I REMIND YOU, IT TURNS OUT WAS TRULY THE TRUE LEADER ALL ALONG OF THE ACTUAL AL QAEDA, A FACT OUR RIGHTFUL MONARCHICAL "UNPRECEDENTED PRESIDENT" KNEW FROM THE GET-GO, WHILE HE WAS READING MY PET GOAT AS THE WORLD TRADE CENTER AND THE PENTAGON WERE BEING ATTACKED. YEP. BRILLIANT BEYOND A C AVERAGE AT YALE. YOU SEE, IT TURNS OUT, BIN LADEN HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH 9/11--AS, BY THE WAY, BIN LADEN AT FIRST SAID. THAT'S WHY OUR BRILLIANT "PRESIDENT" ONCE TOLD A REPORTER WHO ASKED HIM IF HE KNEW WHERE BIN LADEN WAS THAT HE DIDN'T KNOW WHERE HE WAS...AND HE DIDN'T CARE WHERE HE WAS...HE DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO MESS WITH HIM ANYWAY--HE'D EVEN FORGOTTEN HIS NAME, REMEMBER? SO NOW YOU SEE, GEORGIE PORGIE KNEW IT WAS AL-ZARQAWI WITH THE BLIND EGYPTIAN CALIPH WHO WERE ACTUALLY THE ACTUAL HEADS OF THE ACTUAL AL QAEDA AND NOT THE ONE MADE UP BY THE CIA AND ATTRIBUTED TO BIN LADEN! YEAH, THAT'S IT. IT'S ALL CLEAR AS TONS OF SAUDI PIG SHIT NOW. AL-ZARQAWI WAS EMBEDDED IN IRAQ NOT AFGHANISTAN OR PAKISTAN LIKE THOSE COMMIE-LEANING SECULAR HUMANISTS THOUGHT OR LIKE THE INEVITABLE DOUBTERS THOUGHT. OUR APPOINTED FUHRER KNEW ALL ALONG AL-ZARQAWI WAS MORE POWERFUL THAN BIN LADEN (WHO?). AND LISTEN TO THIS--I MADE THIS UP IN MY HEAD THIS MORNING WHILE HEARING ALL THE TOTAL CRAP BEING SPRAYED OVER WE THE PEOPLE LIKE HIPPOS SPREAD THEIR SHIT ALL OVER THINGS WHEN THEY'RE PISSED. HERE'S HOW THE NEWSHOUND SHIT SPREADERS ARE GONNA SPREAD IT--WE GO INTO THE NEWSROOM AT CBS-PARAMOUNT-VIACOM-INFINITY NEWS: "CHIEF, HAVE YOU GONE THROUGH THIS MORNING'S SHIT PILE YET?" "YEAH, I HAVE...I KNOW THE INSURGENTS KILLED OVER 60 PEOPLE IN IRAQ IN A NEW FLOURISH OF FIGHTING AND THE TALIBAN ARE BACK BETTER THAN EVER IN AFGHANISTAN, BUT, F THOSE REALITIES, LET'S GO WITH THIS ROVIAN BULLSHIT HERE--PUMP IT UP--I KNOW, LET KATIE WEAR ONE OF HER HIGH SCHOOL CHEERLEADER OUTFITS--YOU KNOW, COM'ON, KATIE, SWEETHEART, SHOW A LITTLE TITTY WHEN YOU DO THIS--HEAR, LET ME READ YOU THIS, '"PRESIDENT" BUSH TOOK COMMANDING CHARGE YESTERDAY OF THE SITUATION IN IRAQ BY ANNOUNCING THE END OF AL QAEDA AS WE ONCE KNEW IT.' ALSO, YOU MIGHT HINT AROUND WITH, AND I CAME UP WITH THIS ANGLE, TOO--EXCUSE ME,DAMN, KATIE, YOU'RE SOMETIMES LOOKING A LITTLE WRINKLY--I HOPE I DIDN'T WASTE ANOTHER GOB OF MILLION BUCKS ON YOU LIKE I WASTED A GOB ON THAT BROWN BOMBING BRYANT GUMBALL--WHERE'S HE NOW, BY THE WAY, GANG?--YEAH, YOU GUESSED IT, IN OBSCURITY, BUT ANYWAY, I'M THINKING, HOW 'BOUT WE MAKE BIN LADEN INTO A HIGHLY DECORATED CIA AGENT WHO HAS BEEN UNDERCOVER ALL THESE YEARS GETTING US INFORMATION ABOUT THE REALLY REALLY REAL AL QAEDA, THE AL QAEDA OF THE LATE ABU MUSAB AL-ZARQAWI AND THAT BLIND EGYPTIAN CALIPH AND THAT BIN LADEN'S FAMILY UNDER THE DIRECTION OF PRINCE BANDAR BUSH AND THE DUBAI PORT AUTHORITY WILL COLLECTIVELY WIN THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE THIS YEAR FOR RIDDING THE WORLD OF AL QAEDA, EVEN THOUGH THE WAR ON TERRORISM MUST GO ON--LIKE A BANNER HEADLINE THAT SAYS, 'IRAN HERE COMES FREEDOM ON THE MARCH!' GOD, I LIKE THAT. DAMN, I'M GOOD. COM'YERE, KATIE, DARLING, AND LET'S GO OVER YOUR CURVES, ER-AH, OF COURSE I MEAN 'YOUR LINES'...TO HELL WITH THE CHEERLEADER COSTUME...HOW 'BOUT JUST YOU, YOURSELF, AND YOUR BODY STARK NAKED, KATIE! NAKED NEWS WITH KATIE "BILLIONAIRE" COURIC--IT'LL BREAK ALL OF DAN RATHER'S RATINGS RECORDS! I'M A GENIUS, RIGHT KENNETH?

It's all coming down now to troops being brought home around election time after these new Iraqi round-up forces, this suddenly from out of nowhere highly trained 50,000-man Iraqi-commanded-and-controlled army/police force that is routing out and killing "insurgents" by the dozens in this massive new sweeping of victory as it sweeps out the evil of Al Qaeda, going on since Commander Georgie Porgie made his surprise 5-hour visit to the Green Zone. Wonder what this little asshole offered this 3rd duly unelected puppet Iraqi president to get him to stop his stupid releasing of prisoners and talking about holding American soldiers responsible for killing Iraqi citizens. Georgie and Unka Dick threw a couple'a million monkey wrenches into that little act of Iraqi snootiness. Probably millions in fresh-printed bales of worthless inflated US dollar bills, delivered on loading platforms by the CIA bankers-in-general in their huge transport planes that belong to the CIA air force--"Here go, boys, help yourselves. Hey, Mohamad, reach in there and get yourself a couple'a million of free geetus for you and your insurgent wife and children who we captured last night, you traitorous towelhead, sand-n.... We have to cut it short; I'm getting too Amurican here.

thegrowlingwolf
for The Daily Growler

A Daily Growler Sports Extra With Sportsman Deluxe and Expert Snipe Hunter, Marv Backbiter
OK, I kicked England off my interesting teams after Trinidad and Tobago made asses of them. France, too; F them; they suck. My Ecuador came through easily against Costa Rica. Argentina, I concede, goes in there after they 500-lb bombed the lowlife Serbia-Montenegro team. I thought those countries hated each other. Italy and Spain are still hanging in there. The lousy USA has one more chance; they have to beat Italy Sunday; yeah sure. If they beat Italy, I will order one of languagehat's toughest-to-eat hats and eat it like a ravenous wolf right out in front of some public stockade.

So here's our picks:

Italy, still hot
Spain, score a lot of goals when they're on
Ecuador, hanging in there; haven't played anybody any good yet.
Mexico, oh no, they were doing so good then they ran into Angola--0-0--no good, senores o senoras y senoritas o hijos y hijas.
Brasil
Argentina


I haven't seen Portugal. They say the Czechs are good, but I couldn't tell by the way they smeared the USA.

I told you Togo looked like a house a'fire in the first period against South Korea and then suddenly in the second period they fell face first in a mountain of elephant dung and South Korea came alive like they'd found a jug of steroid-laden wild eel juice in the locker room and it turned them into a whole new team. It seems between periods, the Togo prime minister announced he had decided not to pay the team, which upset all the players to the point they got to bitchin' and moanin' and shootin' the finger to the world and they said they didn't any longer give a shit about winning the World Cup, which the team witch doctor had predicted before the South Korean game. The witch doctor was stranded in Lome, Togo, and didn't make the game. That probably had something to do with their lose. Their coach, he looked like an Afrikaner, quit the team at the end of the game in siding with the players. I suppose he too was told he wasn't going to get paid. So, it was Togo's first ever appearance in the World Cup and, by God, they looked great to me. They handcuffed the goofy SOUTH Koreans in that first period and now we know why they got pure sucky in the second period...they had no witch doctor. I'm sentimentally cheering for the South Koreans since I live amongst them and find them fine folks, except they are too to accept Westernized Jesus Christ as their personal savoir (from what I don't know), no matter if he's one of them and wearing a cheap off-the-rack Korean suit.

Germany...I still don't like them in spite of their still being a threat, beating the Paraguayans though they shouldn't have.

Interleague play going on in baseball. I don't know. It seems popular, but it seems a waste of time and games they could be playing against their own division teams, too. Yankees are down in big huge RFK stadium in Washington, getting beat by the Nats, though they have the bases loaded and Jeter coming up as I type this.

The Mets were losing to Baltimore last I heard. How embarrassing to lose to the Baltimore Orioles when you're one of the best teams in baseball. That's baseball, however. You never know in baseball. You may can be pretty sure Tampa Bay ain't gonna be in the World Series but you can't depend on that. Look at the Florida Marlins's phenomenal success the year they easily won the World Series. Look at Detroit this year. Who the hell could have known?

Jeter walked. Game is tied. I love Yankee games. They last right down until that fat lady starts to bellow. [Yankees won the game in the bottom of the eighth; then Mariana shut 'em out in the top of the ninth. What a game! 7-5.]

I'm watching baseball. No more soccer until tomorrow. I may even watch the USA get their asses drubbed again.

When does Togo play again?

marvbackbiter
for The Daily Growler

wood s lot ran thegrowlingwolf's post in tribute to Eric Satie using the musical knowledge of some old writings by Virgil Thomson. wood s lot is a tremendously cool site. How this dude does it everyday amazes us. He gets a Daily Growler statue of honor (a potato chip that looks like Bob Dylan when he was an author; anyone remember Tarantula? What a piece of crap; sorry, Bob; I love you as a musician but not as a writer). Go to wood s lot, you can get it googling it. We can't make it link--we are not sufficiently interpretive enough to figure it out.


Thursday, June 15, 2006

Nonconformity Forever!

Death of a Nonconformist
I hadn't been on the Blog of Death in quite some time--back when Betty Friedan kicked the bucket earlier this year

http://www.blogofdeath.com/

So, I tripped over to the BoD early this morning while I was wiling away my time, my precious time that I have no time for wiling any of it away really, except early on the mornings when I cheat life by waking up too early, you know, fool it by tiptoeing over to my computer. "What the hell you doin' up?" Oh NO, TIME caught me. I'll hide in the NOW. And, lo and behold, in the NOW, right there on the old Blog of Death, I do hereby note the "passing" of a Nonconformist hero who has now become a Daily Growler saint, Andrew Martinez, "the Naked Guy." A straight A student and star football player in high school, Andy went to UCal-Berkeley in the early 1990s. One fine day, to express his nonconforming nature, being pissed off at this then quickly-becoming-a-corporate-corrupt nation, Andy showed up to class wearing only a backpack and a pair of Jesus sandals, saying his nudity expressed his feelings about having to conform to societal dress codes...or, heckfire, any code for that matter. Who the hell are YOU to determine the mores under which I should live in YOUR society? Andy screamed by exposing himself to his world. The university, of course, busted Andy; good ole liberal UCal (a joke after Reagan took it over while he was goobernor of Cally-phorn-ee-ah) tossed his naked ass out of school. Even the City of Berkeley city council immediately passed a nonnudity ordinance to cover actions like Andy's in the high-class liberal city of Berkeley. The day the city council voted this ordinance into being, Andy showed up at the municipal building naked as a jaybird, except for his trusty Jesus sandals, and again, his naked ass was immediately busted as the first breaker of this fresh-passed nonnudity code that had his name, Andrew Martinez, written all over it. He was given two years probation for his actions.

In 1993, Andy as "The Naked Guy" was the "hot topic" on several teevee talk shows, plus he made an appearance in his nonconforming state of undress in the October '93 issue of Playgirl magazine. Soon students all over the country were showing up to class naked in honor of NOW Saint Andrew Martinez.

Of course, like all good stories, this one, too, has a sad ending. This seems to be always the case especially with "only15 minutes of fame" characters like Andy. While writing his memoirs and his thoughts on nakedness, Andy was hit with a sudden brain-implosion and turned on-the-spot into a mental patient. He spent the next 13 years of his naked life jailed, institutionalized, or homeless.

Recently, Andy made the news again, this time in Santa Clara County, California--do you know the way to San Jose? He was arrested by the Santa Clara sheriff for several counts of assault and battery, one involving using a weapon. The sheriff threw Andy's ass in the slammer, where he had been dwelling for the past 5 months. On the morning of June 1st, corrections officers at Santa Clara County Jail announced they had found Andy hiding under his covers...but WHOA!, when they pulled back those covers--ready to billy club Andy's ass perhaps, he had a "clear plastic bag" over his head. And Andy had stopped breathing. And Andy was dead.

A nonconformist right up to the end; however, it was not reported whether or not Andy was nude when either he killed himself or was killed (who the hell knows for sure?).

Three Daily Growler cheers of memory for Andrew Martinez, bearer of a naked truth his society could not handle. Hollywood and goobernor Arnie "a nice Nazi man's nice son" Schwartzenegger have no problem with nudity, and titty fondling and nipple sucking, or bare male butts, or one or two cinema hunk naked dicks hanging out, but oh no, going to a college class naked, oh no! Put a bag over that freak's head.

I googled "condemnation of nudity" trying to get an idea why we human animals are so strict with our public nudity bans or why we are so afraid of seeing other people naked; of course, it's due to most of us being embarrassed in terms of pot bellies, rolls of waist fat, thunder thighs, bony biceps, no asses, no length or width, too flabby breasts, wrinkles like a wadded up piece of paper, or excessively scars--like that tatoo of the Horned Moses you got put on your chest, you know, the one the tatoo guy said was what he called his "Horny Moses," so how was he to know you didn't want a biased sketch of Moses with a big schlong for a nose on your chest? It was good work, but I can see where you might be embarrassed to show it off out on the beach...except most of Moses is hidden by that thick brush...except, isn't that weird, how your hair won't grow over Moses's face?

I can see where nudity is stupid depending on what climate you live in. Most folks in mostly warm climates wear little if any clothes--the women always topless or where the Christian missionaries civilized them the flimsiest of thin cotton dresses that come high above their long legs, while the men and boys wear nothing but half-ass dick sacks...WHOA, I am digressing (fantasizing is such a wonderful way to digress). Of course, in cold climates, any person's a fool who goes around nude. They have no laws against public nudity in say Vladivastok in the Russian Federation [I heard George Soros being credited with ending communism in the Soviet Union. Is that true? Why do I not trust George Soros?]. How many public nudists do you have to worry about enough to pass ordinances against it when it's below zero most of the year 'round? How many minutes could a nude person survive in below-zero weather? My friend the Pool Shark, ex-Viet Nam vet, a professional Viet Nam vet--a professional killer or truck driver who couldn't get a job driving a truck--froze to death one February morning in downtown NYC in 20 degrees above zero; they said it probably took him about two hours to freeze totally to death, made easier because he was loaded with alcohol, TCP, codiene, pot...what a man!

And that's what clothes are for, protective coverings; and sure a woman and a man would keep their genitals protected; hell, yeah. The "sinful" concept of nudity is, of course, from the god-damn Holy Bible of the Christians, only a tiny portion of which is actually Christian, the New Testament section of this big double book, the first section being the Jewish Holy Bible or Book. Most of Christian rules about nudity and sex come from the Old Testament book of Genesis, supposedly written by Moses, who we assume, if we believe he was rescued from the bulrushes by Ramses the First's sister, knew cuneiform, maybe, but could he really read and write in Greek? Hebrew? Sumerian? Remember, the little king in the basket hidden in the bulrushes comes from the Sumerian divine excuse for making a little bastard baby named Sargon their divine king--his mother, a regular old court high priestess, got knocked up by, rumor said, a court gardener. When little Sargon entered the world, his HP mamma got worried he'd be beheaded by the progressives so she put him in a little woven basket and set him afloat on the easy-ridin' Euphrates River and lo and behold this little foundling became the famous Sargon of Sumer and Akkad, from a little bastard foundling floating in the Euphrates to ruler of the largest Mesopotamian kingdoms of Sumer and Akkad--little Sargon arose from the bulrushes 2,300 years before the birth of Joshua ben Josef the Nazarene Judaic Essene, or so it is written. These ancient Mesopotamian myths that originated in the King List are the fountainhead from whence came Hebraic myths, etc.

Antinudity comes directly from the "Garden of Eden" (Big Daddy Jehovah's paradisiacal plantation on the Tigres River) fable. Big Daddy made his first human out of mud and called him Adam, or whatever "first" is in whatever language Jehovah speaketh--Big Daddy could write, too, remember? With his pointing finger we assume (Jehovah wrote the Ten Judaic Commandments on those Sinai stone tablets with his finger), though he may have used his "bird" finger, who the hell knows?

Now Adam was naked but he didn't know it, right? We assume Adam was white, right? Or was Adam covered in hair like the other animals Jehovah had already made?--with dicks and vaginas, too, by the way. Therefore, we assume Adam had a dick, right? Or was he originally a mammal? Well, yes, and we assume also that Adam "shitteth and he pisseth" like all the other animals, too, right? And since he was made in Jehovah's image, then we assume Jehovah, too, had to shitteth and pisseth and must have had a dick or maybe a dick and a vagina. We must here assume from this that Jehovah had a mirror so he knew what his image looked like--or maybe he had supernatural eyes that could pop out of their sockets and robotically maneuver around taking a look back on the body from whence they came, though wouldn't those robotical eyes have seen an eyeless creature before them? Gadzooks!

Anyway, to cut a long story even longer, Adam was naked and when he saw he was naked he trembled before Jehovah. He might have been cold; it gets cold over there in the middle of the desert night (a whole lot of holy incidents take place in deserts in these bibles--does that mean God made deserts for punishment?--like the Green Zone being built by We the People over on the banks of the Tigres as I type on this--a big old green safe haven fortress/oasis for us civilized creatures while we level Baghdad so it blends flatly back into the desert from whence it came. You think we'll suck a lot of water out of the precious waters in the Tigres, maybe drying up the Iraqis's water supplies--helping them keep from swallowing their spit during Ramadan?

Then, on the desire of Adam, God gave Adam a woman (a "woe to man") and, we assume, she, too, was naked. I imagine Eve looked pretty close to what a female chimpanzee looks like, right? Let's see, Lucy was 4 feet tall, so, that would make Eve maybe shorter, say around 3 foot 9 inches? And like a chimpanzee, she was probably hairy as hell except for her naked titties and genital area, which was probably puffy and red flaring when she was always ready, especially conveniently exposed when she was bent over (in the natural Jehovah-ordained position--the Christian missionaries, remember, invented the way we Amuricans are taught to do it, the missionary position--fie on those bastards, I say. I, like the French, prefer doggy to missionary). I still can't find that nudity is a sin anywhere in all this biblical gobblygook.

Amazing the stories human beings, some with intelligence, believe--I mean that Adam and Eve bullshit is fanatically believed. There's dudes out there who would blow your ass to kingdom come for blaspheming Adam and Eve. I like Adam and Eve juice products, by the bye--are you allowed to recommend products on a blog? I'm nakedly at Google's mercy! Hail Andrew Martinez.

thenakedwolf
for The Daily Growler

Political Note:
Congress unanimously gave themselves a raise yesterday. Yes, that's right, and a healthy one, too. They said they deserved it in what they know is an inflated economy, the good ole US buck is becoming like a sailed silver dollar, lost in the burning sunset of disappearance, so they got a very healthy "cost-of-living" raise--up to 165,000 bucks a year, plus all those god-damn sweet "benefits." Remember when employers offered "benefits" as "incentives" to take a job with them? Now they've found out we'll pay for our own benefits--and wow, those CFOs are all gathered around a swimming pool down in Bermuda, all smoking cigars with a hot babe or boy on their knees, sticking hundred dollar bills in various vulgar places on the kids ("Oh, no, Mon, she legal, Mon, velly legal, I guarantee, Mon, on me mudder's sweet ole heart."). These CFOs and CEOs are laughing their hyena asses off with loud guffawing hysterics. "Do you believe it? These silly fools are paying for their own benefits. Oh what a god-damn great job those quantitative management bastards did on the US workforce. I thought they'd be tougher, you know, demand unions, shit like that, but god damn it, our Rovian methods worked, and we have this stupid work force paying for their own benefits, for their own healthcare, another industry we turned from a flop into a profit-maker--fuck free clinics, fuck anything free. Look here, for instance, we have a chance to buy the waters of the Ghanges from the greedy filthy smarmy Indian bastards for a piddling of bucks--can you believe people are actually letting us talk them into privatizing their fucking water, one of their fucking sources of life? What these goonies will do for a worthless fat Amurican buck. Ain't nothing free anymore, boys and girls--hey, Mabel, how 'bout another round of these damn juniper berry milkshakes with that special dolphin piss, don't forget, sweetie. You see the ass on that lad?"

Don't you wish you could just vote yourself a raise every year. You can if you develop a strong enough union. Wow, is that communism? Joining together to protect your means of survival, your job, your profession, your factories, your manufacturers, your ships, your railroads, your utilities, your natural resources--to protect your income--how you "make a living." We are giving away our "livings."

It's a drag. And the Yankees lost today to the Redskins...oops, I'm sorry, the Cleveland Wahoos...oops, I'm sorry, that's Chief Wahoo, the cute Looney Toons cartoonish Cleveland Indian mascot. However, I can see if I were a Native American I would take offense at Chief Wahoo--he's bucktoothed meaning he's either dumb or impersonating Jerry Lewis impersonating a Chinese waiter. Besides, what the hell's an Indian? How about the Cleveland Wogs? Oh my God, the antidefamation league of Calcutta is cursing us;please, Sahib, we at the Growler are writing satire--LIKE CHRISTOPHER BUCKLEY--we are SATIRISTS!!! [Yes, Scott Fitzgerald, we are laughing at our own joke.]

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Whatever Happened to "Classical" Music? Part II

American "Classical" Music at One Time
I'm hung up in this book of old Virgil Thomson music reviews from his days as a music critic on Ogden Reid's great old New York Herald Tribune. Here is Virgil Thomson writing about the state of American "classical" music in 1948: "...citizens of the United States write music in every known style. From the post-Romantic eclecticism of Howard Hanson and the post-Romantic expressionism of Bernard Rogers through the neoclassicized impressionism of Edward Burlingame Hill and John Alden Carpenter, the strictly Parisian neo-Classicism of Walter Piston, the romanticized neo-Classicism of Roy Harris and William Schuman, the elegant neo-Romanticism of Samuel Barber, the sentimental neo-Romanticism of David Diamond, the folksy neo-Romanticism of Douglas Moore, Randall Thompson, and Henry Cowell, the Germano-eclectic modernism of Roger Sessions, the neo-primitive polytonalism of Charles Ives, and the ecstatic chromaticism of Carl Ruggles, to the percussive and rhythmic research fellows Edgard Varese and John Cage, we have everything. We have also the world famous European atonalists Schonberg and Krenek, the neo-Classic masters Stravinsky and Hindemith. We have, moreover, a national glory in the form of Aaron Copland, who so skillfully combines, in the Bartok manner, folk feeling with neo-Classic techniques that foreigners often fail to recognize his music as American at all." Virgil Thomson, Music Reviewed, 1940-1954, Vintage Books, 1967.

[All the above dudes, by the way, are dead, including Virgil.]

Thomson goes on with this article to discuss what makes American music so special, classical or otherwise. "Two devices typical of American practice...are the nonaccelerating crescendo and a steady ground rhythm of equalized eighth notes (expressed or not). Neither of these devices is known to Europeans, though practically all Americans take them for granted."

It was the Europeans who took the blues out of jazz. Why? Because, like Thomson says, they don't know "our" devices, which to us, we take for granted, one of which is "the nonaccelerating crescendo and a steady ground rhythm of equalized eighth notes" one finds in the blues, the instinct for all modern American music, even the Classical stuff.

I audited a master class given by Aaron Copland back in the late fifties, and all he talked about was the influence of American black music on him; he called it "jazz music," an amalgamated music that is pure dee unadultrated American-born (and that "America" runs from the North Pole all the way down to the falling off of the South American continent into the Strait of Magellan in that world beyond Tierra del Fuego). Jazz was so important to Copland's Paris-trained musical ambitions, and jazz to him meant "hot jazz," the kind you heard in Paris in the 20s and 30s, the kind Louis Armstrong brought to Paris led overthere by black artists like Josephine Baker (Hemingway said he danced with her one night in a Paris bal mussette and she was wearing a mink coat and as their dancing progressed he delightfully noted that that mink coat was all she was wearing) followed by Sidney Bechet (one of the greatest American saxophonists of all time--I mean you hear Sidney so bad in Raashan Roland Kirk's playing!), Coleman Hawkins, Cab Calloway, that kind of jazz, called le jazz hot by the French because it swung so heavy it made you hot--hot for food, hot for drink, hot for dancing, hot for sex! What a wonderful music! [Listen to those Coleman Hawkins sessions recorded in Paris in the 30s with Django Rhinehart--in "Sweet Georgia Brown," I think it is, they start swinging so hard, you hear Django at one point in the swinging let out a "Yeah!" like he just had a wet dream come true. Hawkins was swinging the sweat out of these European jivers. What an awful shame, like New Orleans, we're giving jazz up to neglect, a neglect brought about by the constantly changing trends forced on us by the horribly profitable corporate world we're allowing to blow up all around us with its toxic hand in our arts, our crafts, our hobbies, our desires, our purposes, our creativeness, our thinking, our sexuality, our humor, our ambitions, even our ability to survive.

Copland studied, the same as Virgil Thomson, with Nadia Boulanger, the foreign-born "mother" of American Classical style, in Paris. The French so madly loved American jazz it got to a point where they attempted to claim they were more expert on jazz than were Americans. Two Frenchmen, one named Hughes Panassie, he founded the Hot Club of Paris, the other named Charles Delaunay wrote books in which they defined who they considered the most authentic among the American performers and along with that defining what they said was "pure" jazz in opposition to what they called "bastardized" jazz, which included jazz they couldn't understand, like be-bop. They didn't see the importance of the blues in American music forms, even in Western swing a la Bob Wills, Spade Cooley, Hank Thompson...blues was even on the Grand Ole Opry one of its stars a black harmonica player named De Ford Baily who literally put the blues in that true Elizabethan English hillbilly music, in blue grass, hell, even in Garth Brooks. That film they have of Louie blowing in the Netherlands, Ken "Slow Drag" Burns used a clip from it in his pie-eyed rendition, in his now monotonous style, of his version of jazz history, with those Dutch cats on "China Boy" and "Dinah," that's what Copland and those American-in-Paris-trained composers heard as jazz. [I just resaw that PBS George Gershwin documentary and relearned that he had applied for a place at the foot of Nadia Boulanger and she, that bitch, turned him down.]

Virgil calls the jazz he likes swing music and he's right in terms of the music here in the US, but over in France hot jazz was based on Louis Armstrong's Hot Five type of jazz, what unfortunately in this country became whitewashed as "Dixieland," a name nobody but white bands used, like Nick LaRocca and the Original Dixieland Jass Band, yeah, out of New Orleans, and yeah, made the first jazz recording ever, but that's where Dixieland came from. White musicians. You didn't call Louis Armstrong's music "Dixieland." Hell no. Besides, all this music even Dixieland was New Orleans's own music really, a march music, a crazy-mixed-up form that came growling out of old Buddy Bolden's beautiful horn and song from such a crazy voice-hearing mind; that came from the vaudeaux drumming and dancing on Congo Square of the slaves enjoying one free day'a week, Sunday, losing their cares amidst the primitive blues of that percussive dance music. Duke Ellington said Madame Zzaj was a Drum. Jazz was a marriage of French-Creole-Africaine-Congolese music made American by people like Buddy Bolden, Jelly Roll Morton, Kid Ory, Papa Joe Oliver, with calling echoes from the black music of Louis Moreau Gottschalk and Basile Bares, and even from the watermelon men and women that chanted their wares through those Channel District narrow, winding streets now left so desolate and gone after Katrina. All the great calming spirits that perished in that god-damn storm.

Jazz should swing, like Duke said, from side to side--"My father was a jockey," goes the old blues song, "and he taught me how to ride (screw), he said, 'Once down the middle, and then from side to side.'" That's the way to swing naturally. I actually saw a young black woman the other day digging her iPod music and her head was going up and down. I swear, I had never seen a black person looking so white-swinging before. Is Hip-Hop an "up and down" music? It doesn't seem like it to me. The Hip Hoppers seem to swing side-to-side in their kinda slouchy movements as they jerk their verse all over the stage--workin' the stage, as Diddy taught them--everything, even writing books is about working the stage (or the page). I dig Hip-Hop though not in the maniacal way black people do and have since the seventies. Yeah, I know, most white musicians don't dig Hip-Hop; even some black musicians don't dig it; some musicians of various shades don't even see it as music. Yet, the first music must have been made by a sheepherder who really dreamed of being a poet (or a prophet) and started singing the blues in rhyming verse out on those heathen hills on those long lonely nights and days with nothing but god-damn sheep munching away around you as you sit watching your flock and playing your lyre or sackbutt and puffing out diddy after diddy. Though there must have been other relaxations besides their music and verse. As the older cowboys from my part of the world used to sing, "You don't know what lonesome is 'til you've been punchin' cows."

And also like I once wrote, I knew an overaged high school participant with me who owned his own sheep ranch. He openly promoted the more passionate compatibility of a female sheep over the normal urges for companionship with a female woman. "I got one, I call her 'Honey Lamb,' who I'd marry if it were legal." I once saw a girl-donkey act in Juarez, Mexico, yes, at the infamous Irma's Club, where the girl came out and introduced us to her real husband, Herman. Then out trotted Herman the Donkey...and quite a big hard-loving husband he was, too. See how easy it is to digress from "Classical" music?

A Little Soviet Music History
In 1949, Virgil Thomson wrote a piece on the Soviet Composer's Union, of which Joe Stalin was the honorary president, coming down hard on three Soviet composers, Khachaturian, Prokofiev, and Shostakovich. Marion Koval, editor of the Composer's Union publication, Sovietskaya Muzyka, "analyzed" Shostakovich's "chronic illness" [what the Soviet hardline Bolsheviks called it when an artist strayed from the "straight and narrowness" of Joe Stalin's understanding of Communism] and made a list of what perverted "Shostakovich's great natural gift":

"1. Discordant German counterpoint [Thomson says he's referring to Hindemith's style here].
"2. Introducing into the 'sacred soil of the pure classic Russian tradition' JAZZ neurosis and Stravinskyan rhythmical paroxysms.
"3. Inability to write 'singable' melodic lines.
"4. Naturalistic approach to subject matter [Thomson says this refers to the love scene in Shosty's Lady Macbeth].
"5. Limitless adulation of a chorus of sycophants [Thomson says this refers to Shosky's success]."

Now follows Marion Koval's regimen for a "cure" of Shosty's "chronic illness":

"1. Avoiding 'dissonance.'
"2. Avoiding any harmonic syntax more advanced than that of the late Sergei Rachmaninov.
"3. Learning to write 'easy' tunes.
"4. Avoiding dependence on 'abstract' instrumental and symphonic forms.
"5. Writing more songs.
"6. Strictly abstaining from jazz srhythms, paroxystic syncopation, 'fake' [meaning dissonant] polyphony, and atonality.
"7. Writing operas about Soviet life.
"8. Turning his attention in general to the song of the great Soviet people and forget about the West."

I have a feeling those kinds of analyses of chronic illnesses are already rearing their hydra-headed heads into our American freedom of arts, crafts, musics, writings, BLOGS. Wake up, We the People.

thegrowlingwolf
for The Daily Growler

The Daily Growler Sports Update With Marv Backbiter

OK, shoot me, I fell asleep during the Poland-Germany World Cup match tonight. Damn. It was a good one, too. Poland was holding its own against their natural-born enemy the Germans. Both teams looked pretty peppy and aggressive. And Spain cleaned ass bad on the Ukraine (I'm watching a rerun of it now--3-0 beginning second period (I think Spain scores a record number of goals--I'll find out later)). They're supposed to be good; I'll check 'em out in the rerun here. Argentina is playing Serbia-Montenegro tomorrow, I think. I'll miss that one; I'm giving singing lessons to a beautiful woman so I'll not have any futbol on my mind until tomorrow night; that is unless it's the morning game.

Wow, even without Bin Laden, the Saudis and the boys from Tunis played a hell of a match; Wow; both of them having spurts of brilliance, though I kept wondering, all this great playing but are either of these teams any kind of threat to any of the favored teams, like Italy and Brasil?
I give it to the Royal Saudi Family team, they were better than I thought; Tunisia, too, and I did once spend a night in Tunisia. When the Saudis scored their first goal, they went into a toward-Mecca prayer session, praising Allah for allowing them to score a goal. The Tunisians scored a goal and acted like a bunch of heretical dogs in their celebration; they certainly did not act like good Wahabis. I wonder, if the Saudis lose, do they blame Allah or the heretical dogs who beat them? Religion is so screwy and unbelievably dumb.

The Yankees are back; beat Cleveland in a baseball thriller last night, 1-0. Brilliant game. Tonight they are beating Cleveland 6-1. Mets are rained out in Philly.

marvbackbiter
for The Daily Growler Sports Desk

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Whatever Happened to "Classical" Music?

Erik Satie
Virgil Thomson writing in 1940, said, "This writer is in agreement with Darius Milhaud and with some of the other French contemporary composers in placing Satie's work among the major musical values of our century." Wow. That's quite a mouthful. Virgil goes on to rank Satie up there with the Three Bs and then invents the Three Ss, Satie, Schoenberg, and Stravinsky. Virgil goes on, "And its aesthetic [French music's], as was that of Debussy, is derived directly from the words and from the works of Satie, whose firmest conviction was that the only healthy thing music can do in our century [20th century] is to stop trying to be impressive." [Taken from Virgil's Music Reviewed, 1940-1954, Vintage Books, 1967.]

I highly respected Virgil Thomson's approach to "classical" music when I first came to New York City as a lad intent on making my name in lights on some venue here. Originally I came here to be a musician and I already knew about Virgil Thomson from Gertrude Stein plus he was still very much alive, living in the Chelsea Hotel, and doing a radio show on WBAI, live from his apartment. Gertrude wrote the libretto to his opera-adaptation of her Four Saints in Three Acts, a brilliant piece of theater that I've seen in short bursts through some old film clips of when it opened in New Haven back in the roaring depressed 30s. They used so much cellophane in creating the heavenly sets, lush colorful clouds all seemingly floating in a heavenly universe of pastel clouds among which the saints sat and sang, the New Haven Fire Department shut the performances down until they substituted something not as inflammable as cellophane, a petroleum product. From Gertrude's introducing me to Virgil, she wrote a portrait of him, too, and he wrote a musical portrait of her [Virgil got a lot of his inspiration from Gertrude--his famous musical portraits, for instance], I found Bee Time Vine, a Boston publication devoted to Gertrude Stein and Four Saints--"Bee Time Vine" is from the opera libretto and the first issue I got was announcing Virgil Thomson's newest opera, Lord Byron, with a libretto by a man named Jack Larson, whose claim to fame was he was Jimmy Olsen on the very hairpin-held-together but original Superman teevee show that starred poor ole star-crossed later suicide victim George Reeves. I never heard Lord Byron and don't even know if it was ever completed much less performed. I later vaguely hung around Philip Glass while he was writing his first opera down in BloHo in once artist-controlled lower Manhattan in the old factory lofts artists had cleverly reconstructed doing their own carpentry and plumbing, everything, turning these formerly huge spaces filled with machines into artist studios and apartments, a wonderful time for art forms and artists in NYC and by God I know old Phil Glass, a cabdriver in those days, had a lot of respect for Four Saints--listen closely and you can hear Gertrude's continual presence in all of Glass's stuff. One of the best damn saxophonists I ever worked with, from Lafayette, Lawsbanana, too, was a member of the Philip Glass Ensemble. He told me in confidence once...well, I better keep this to myself; I promised him I would never tell what he told me about working with Philip Glass. My lips are sealed.

I remember the first time I heard Erik Satie's music. It was at a friend of mine's Little Carnegie Hall recital and he played Trois Gymnopedies and that strongly quiet barely imperceptive piece grabbed me and lulled its way into my musical brain where it has bloomed forever, reminding me of Gershwin's Preludes--Hey, aren't there three of those? Below, if it works, is a very wonderful site devoted to Erik.

http://www.af.lu.se/~fogwall/satie.html

Virgil continues with, "The Satie musical aesthetic is the only twentieth century musical aesthetic in the Western world. [Wow!] Schoenberg and his school are Romantics; and their twelve-tone syntax, however intriguing one may find it intellectually, is the purist romantic chromaticism."

Satie was a prankster; a merry but sad eccentric prankster, yes. The Swedish pianist and Satie devotee, Olof Hojer writes about Satie's 1880-1890s period of composing: ...the music is not shaped, according to established dialectical manner, on the time axis of tonality, but is rather put together by melodic and chordal segments in static, timeless montages. Satie turned his back on the need of contemporary music for variation and linear development: he found another musical time, based on repetition and circularity, a ritual repetition of small units complete in themselves. In all this he also expressed another need, closely bound to the asthetic of repetition and ritual, allowing all things to occur slowly, casting a spell on time.
from the liner notes of Hojer's 1996 CD on Prophone Records, Erik Satie, the complete piano music, Volume 1.

That's what got me about Satie's work. Those "static, timeless montages" and that invented time of his "based on repetition and circularity, a ritual repetition of small units complete in themselves." Man, that's beautiful thinking. I haven't listened to Satie in a long time. Sure, I have Trois Gymnopodies in my head, but the Sarabandes or the Ogives, I've not heard them in many'a Bilbao moon. Perhaps I'll give old Brother Hojer a try. Let's see if he plays Satie as well as he writes about him.

I've always said John Coltrane took jazz to a point it to where it could go no further. Coltrane had trapped jazz in the ultimate jazz form "utter Chaos." I mean that's where purely improvisational music leads you if you don't dare to exit the mainline and do a little off-ramp experimenting. Perhaps John in some rare cosmological same-stream of real time absorbed Satie's "casting a spell on time," which is certainly what John did in his later recordings. He took jazz to an outlier position; too far out for most mortal musicians who found it much easier to stay in the mainstream and be very impressive.

I know what Satie means, too, in what they say was his love and hate at the same time for the piano. "The piano is like money," he wrote, "it's enjoyable only for those who know how to use it." Poulenc said he only saw Satie play the piano about three times, accompanying a singer singing some of his newly written songs. Most of the time, Poulenc continued, Satie would back out when asked to play the piano; he left the playing of his mostly piano compositions (only in his later years did he do the orchestrations used in Parade, his ballet, for instance) to Poulenc and Rudolph Vines. Satie also picked up the few sous he needed to live on by playing the piano in the Paris cabarets. I know what that means; I've played the piano in dives you wouldn't bring Satan himself into much less your mother or sister; but I also know what he means about the piano being a source of income and when you look at it like that, it loses the magic appeal it emits just by sitting wherever it is it sits, whether in your music room or on a stage somewhere, looking so temptingly inviting with its flashy grinning ivory keyboard accentuated by those hard beautifully black accidentals that are so come hither in their alluring design. Yet, the piano is really just a tool; a tool you use in doing your job if you are a composer or a cabaret performer, a machine like a computer through which your inner solar plexus emotions can boil forth in narrative, from those narrative depths of our deepest most primitive instinctual wells of worth.

Milhaud/Satie Connection
I read a host of Milhaud biographies on this dear ole "soon to be stolen" Internet and in none of them was there any mention of Eric Satie. Milhaud studied under Paul Dukas ("The birds, listen to the birds, they are the masters" what Paul Dukas told Olivier Messien during a session) and Charles-Marie Widor (weird French organ composing and playing at its wildest, a la Marcel Dupre, my favorite-ever French organist and organ composer). Then he came to Paris and hung out with Jean Cocteau and that was Satie's crowd and Milhaud had to have seen Satie on sort of daily occasions; hell he was a member of Groupe Les Six with Poulenc who was a pianist who performed Satie's piano pieces as we've already learned, Honneger, Milhaud's childhood friend, blah, blah, blah. Now here's what I learned from Virgil Thomson. Since Milhaud was considered a Jew, and he was part Jewish, by the then psychonut "president" of Nazidom, he had to get the hell out of Paris post haste and come to California--wow, while goobernor Schwartzenegger's old daddy kept wearing his Nazi uniform for the continuence of that war. Isn't it ironic how Papa Schwartzenegger's little blond-haired wunderkind escaped the tyranny of Germany also by coming to the good ole USA, where he can't be president unless Georgie Porgie declares it's OK for a former Nazi's son to be president--"Hey, Terminal Hater, all you gotta do is steal the damn elections like me and the Supreme Court have done twice--actually the second time everybody thinks I won it fair and square--you know, heh-heh-heh, I didn't need the Supreme Court to appoint me that time thanks to ole Chuck Hagchaser and the Diebold folks, though those worthless clowns on the Supreme Court would have appointed me again if I'd'a decided that; I'm the decider, always keep that in mind. And remember, too, old sagging-ass Bill Rhenquist was dyin' of cancer anyway; he didn't have anything to lose by appointing me president...and let me tell ya, Arnie Boy, you don't mind me callin' you that--that's what I call all my good friends, except Prince Bandar Bush who I call Prince, like I call a damn dog named Prince, get it? But, anyway, back to my advice, Arnie Boy, strike at the truth and you'll always bend their wills...I call it catapultin' the propaganda...."

And when Milhaud came here: "Darius Milhaud has communicated to me the catalog of an exhibit held recently [1940] at Mills College, Oakland, California, of Eric Satie's manuscripts. These manuscripts, the property of Milhaud, were brought by him last summer from France at some inconvenience...." Virgil goes on to say that in order to get these manuscripts to this country, Milhaud left behind a large volume of his own works because of regulations in terms of amounts he could take out of France at that time [1939]. Virgil says that proves how much Milhaud and all French composers of that era were beholden to Satie.

Where is Satie today? The same place classical music is. Where is classical music today? In southern Germany? In Finland? In Tokyo? Hong Kong? It's certainly not in my life like it used to be. Only certain composers from that ilk have remained in my listening realm, Ravel, Debussy, Stravinsky, American-original Charles Ives--but like I said, I haven't heard any Satie in Jesus, I can't remember how many years.

I once also had an LP (long-playing record) of the music of Ezra Pound. Oh how much Satie was in that.

If you are into jazz, then you can't reflect on Milhaud without remembering Dave Brubeck went to Mills College and studied with Milhaud--was kind of his personal dick boy for awhile--and since Dave couldn't read sheet music, as it was called in those days, Milhaud advised him to not study classical piano but to concentrate on his compositional talents, which old Dave did to go on to, I would suppose, the most successful of any of the post-Bop jazz performers, and to say Dave ain't a bopster is to not know much about jazz. Bop was just overwhelming to young white musicians at that time. I mean, white musicians have always found black music the most exciting music in the world and they have always spun it into the weave of their own cultures to come up with, hell, tell it like it is, "white jazz," and Dave Brubeck was the epitome of white jazz and easily commercialized--one of his albums was sponsored by the Hazel Bishop cosmetics people. Hell, Dave made Columbia big bucks, where they never dared to pull Charles Parker, Jr., out of the Chaos he had dead-ended himself in--same with Billie Holiday; I'm sorry, old F-ing John Hammond could have personally helped these people, he was rich; Mitch Miller, too; hell, he put together Charlie Parker and Strings for Norman Granz and then he became a Columbia Records A&R man...but this is retrobutional thinking so I desist from continuing it. I have a personal blues thing against Hammond and especially his son who I think makes a huge mockery of the blues giants he covers in his own invented "southern" Delta style and his "southern" accent. Being from the south, I've always been amazed at the accent Hollywood attributes to being from the south. Mike Judge and his King of the Hill cartoon satires hits the typical Texas white accents dead on the head; Judge is a Texan, too.

Charles Parker, Jr., certainly admired the work of Edgard Varese and we certainly know Varese was there when Satie was "casting his spells on time." You can also hear some Satie in Miles Davis's late sixties work called Shhhhhhh Peaceful.

thegrowlingwolf
for The Daily Growler

The Daily Growler Sports Continual Present
Just saw Brasil beat Croatia 1-0. I don't know what to say. I think Brasil was playing without their kingpin, Reynaldo. They weren't that aggresive, though neither was Croatia. The big fun of the day was Korea vs. Togo. The first period was atrocious futbol; both teams were clumsy, Korea was horrible, always their kicks on goal, what few they had, were wildly too high, unhookable it seemed, passes to nobody; just lousy soccer (a bastardized form of "association" football as invented by the Brits). Togo was more hustling, less wild, and they too had hardly any shots on goal. Then Togo got an unexpected goal near the end of the first period, a straight power-play one-man goal. It looked like Togo had goal enough to hold on to beat the naive-playing Koreans; they were going to upset the boys from Seoul. But in the second period, Holy Mole Sauce, the Koreans caught fire and went berserk and ended up sending Togo home with their drawers down around their ankles. I mean, Korea looked like a whole new team in the second period. They easily outplayed Togo and then easily kicked in two goals mucho pronto. Togo had absolutely nothing in the second period. A big win in my Korean neighborhood where the Korean bank had a huge teevee screen set up high in front of their building showing the match this morning and 500 Korean fans showed up wearing red Korea shirts and carrying these huge clappers that are becoming popular in Asian football as opposed to those damn irritating styrofoam horny-noisemakers the damn Mexicans love to blow like MF-ers throughout all their home games in L.A. As Jay Leno commented on Mexico's win over Iran, "I see the L.A. soccer team won their first match against Iran." Saw a little bit of France today, too; they were scoreless against Switzerland or somebody like that. Not impressive at all. Scratch the French.

So far, we like England, Italy, Mexico, and Ecuador. Mexico has beaten England I think earlier in the year; may be wrong about that. Ecuador for unusual style of playing; a lot of headers; headers all over the damn field, seldom using their feet. Brasil we'll have to see again. Haven't seen the Netherlands, Portugal, or Spain yet. An old friend says I'm neglecting Argentina who he has speculated will win the whole shebang. I saw Argentina play and I don't know; I wasn't impressed. I thought they should have dominated the team they were playing; yet, they didn't. However, in respect of this friend, who used to live in Buenos Aires so he's biased in his loyalties, I will keep an eye on Argentina.

In baseball, the Yankees are facing Cleveland tonight in Yankee Stadium--Oakland swept their three-game series here and left the Yankees losing 4 in a row and 2 games behind the Red Sox. The Yankees always fall apart this time of year; batting averages will drop horrendously, and Randy Johnson and Mike Messina will become "flip-a-coin" pitchers; plus the Yankees's bullpen started off as the hottest bullpen in baseball, now, except for Mariano Rivera, they are the suckiest bullpen in baseball. Yankees fans start wailing lamentations when Joe has to come out in the 6th inning, say, and signals to start bringing in the bums from that horrible bullpen. "Oh, no, here comes Scott Procter (the best of the bullpenners); there goes the game."

The Mets. Jesus, who'd a thought we'd become Mets fans, but hell, you gotta give credit where credit is due and we've always said Willie Randolph would make a great manager knowing Yankee baseball like he does and finally getting a well-oiled together team, in spite of poor old Pedro Martinez who is pitching great having not won a ballgame since April. If Pedro comes around, look out, the Mets could become invincible, though you can't ever trust Atlanta and wily old Bobby Cox, another, to me, Yankee-style manager.

therovingmaniac sittin' in for Marv Backbiter
for The Daily Growler

HOW UTTERLY INSANE WAS BUSH'S UTTERLY INSANE EARLY MORNING DROP IN ON IRAQ TODAY. HE ONLY NOTIFIED THE NEW IRAQI PRESIDENT HE WAS COMING 5 MINUTES BEFORE HE GOT THERE. THAT'S THE PHONY TEXAS COWBOY STYLE, "Major, take me to Iraq." "But, suh, your highass, we've got to notify the Pentagon of your flight plan...." "Fuck the Pentagon, son, I'm the damn decider, didn't you get that, so fly me to Iraq and let's go, I'm itchin' to surprise those stupid towelheads while at the same time I stickin' one up the butts of those god-damn Democrats. When I get through with these fools, I'll be a hero again and my ratings will start going up again. Get me Fox News on the teevee, Unka Dick." All the mock network news pundits were chirping excitedly about how Georgie Porgie had "one upped" the Dumbocrat and fanatic war critics, one ecstatic woman commentator seriously reporting on the "stealthful" entrance High Lord Bush made into Baghdad, under all radars (do the insurgents have radar? Does al-Qaeda have its own radar network?), without even the stupid Iraqi president knowing Bush Baby was flopping in to do some photo-opting and Repugnican campaigning. Oh the cheers from those soldiers...wait a minute, if know one knew this little privileged rich boy snotnose bastard was coming, where did all those cheering soldiers come from? Georgie Porgie stayed safely tucked into the Green Zone luxury hotel and didn't dare stray out into the streets of Baghdad. Why we don't know. Looks like this "liberator" would be hauled around town on Iraqi shoulders while men fired off their AKAs (they say every male citizen of Baghdad is allowed one AKA) and the women tossed their burkas in a pile and set fire to them, chanting "Oh, glorious liberator, our beloved King and ruler Georgie bin Porgie, take these sacred rose petals we are showering your precious presence with. Thank you, Great Liberator, for letting Freedom march its ass right over our rotting corpses, for dividing us up into a segmented, religiously split, resourceless country. And by the way, liberator, take our oil as tribute for your great generosity."

The billions upon billions of dollars Georgie Porgie and his Warmongers have borrowed from the Commie Chinese and the terrorist-supporting Saudis to pay for this folly--JUST THINK WHAT GOOD COULD HAVE BEEN DONE WITH THAT MUCH MOULAH! Oh, but liars are psychopathic and once they start getting entangled in their webs of lies even they lose total track of reality. In Bush's bourbon-bottled head, everything's going fine; fucking up in business, armed services duty, as goobernor of Texas, and now as appointed president is par for this asshole's course. In his view, he's doing what comes naturally to him.

Our "president" spent 30 hours on Air Force 1 or some stealth helicopter just to drop into the Green Zone for 5 hours. How much money did this little episode cost us? Well, what the hell difference does it make when this shameful war is costing us billions of dollars a month? Then this little heartless poor little rich goofus started praising his troops for their sacrifices (his using them as human sacrifices to his god of totalitarianism) and he actually made out like he was crying while he was thanking this little special group of adoring troopers whose actual faces were never shown on teevee. Most of the shots I saw were of Baby Bush and the Iraqi president. Georgie Porgie hasn't cried such big ole crocodile tears since Babs used to bust his butt with sarcasm about his wimp father being off in Mexico ripping off oil leases and the loss of his little sister Robin, which was probably his fault if you check back far enough. Maybe Pickles ran little Robin down in her car. Holy Shit, we got a true psychopathic liar and killer on our hands.

PLUS KARL "RAT'S ASS" ROVE HAS PULLED A RABBIT OUT OF THE HAT BEFORE SPECIAL PROSECUTIE FITZGERALD WHO STUPIDLY TOLD ROVE'S LAWYER THAT LITTLE PRICK KARL WASN'T GOING TO FACE ANY CHARGES FOR LEAKING A CIA AGENT'S NAME TO A TIME MAGAZINE REPORTER. SO ROVE GETS A FREE TICKET TO COMMIT CRIMES WHILE WORKING FOR THIS CRIMINALLY INCLINED PURE WHITE ARYAN HOUSE.

Has anyone besides me ever considered that this is the White Man's Last Stand in his fight against Native Americans and then the foreigners he needed to build this country into the Great White Hope Land--the "Mountain of Gold" to the Chinese, and now the former owners of some of this country, those lousy Messkins, are having so many Catholic babies they are beginning to turn this country BROWN? Brown to a White Man is the color of shit. Black is the color of sin. Yellow to the White Man is a sign of liver disease or jaundice. Everything in this country, if you stop and think about it, is based on White thinking, writing, legalizing, rulemaking, worshipping, etc. Like Custer, the white man has terrible luck with "last stands."

WELL, HELL, THE COJONES PACKED DUMBOCRATS WENT RIGHT ALONG ARM-IN-ARM WITH THE REPUGNICANS AND GAVE AWAY ANOTHER 100 BILLION OR SO OF OUR MONEY TO CONTINUE THE WAR IN IRAQ AND AFGHANISTAN (WHERE, BY THE WAY, THE TALIBAN IS MAKING A HUGE COMEBACK). BUSH AND PICKLES HAVE ALREADY SURPRISE LANDED IN AFGHANISTAN, REMEMBER, WHERE PICKLES ENCOURAGED THE DOWNTRODDEN AFGHANI WOMEN WITH ONE OF HER SPECIAL PEP TALKS. THIS WAS THE BIG TRIP WHERE BUSH WENT TO INDIA AND TRADED THEM NUCLEAR SECRETS FOR A CHANCE TO BUY ALL THEIR MANGOES. "We're gonna enjoy eating Indian mangoes," the "president" said as he threw his uneaten mango on a pile of sacred cow dung, "God, I don't know how these little colored devils eat those greasy things. Give me some good ole Texas watermelon any day, brother."

OH THE DAYS ARE LONG IN HELL. AND IT LOOKS LIKE THEY'RE GONNA GIT LONGER.

thedisgruntledpoliticalpundits
for The Daily Growler

Monday, June 12, 2006

The World Beyond, continued

In Tomorrowland, the Dumbocrats Are Getting Cocky
After being up all night reading about Theosophy (an intellectual's approach to Divinity), I listened to the early Air America broadcasts, Mark Riley, the brother by the way or silly-putty self-enthusiast Clayton Riley, and Rachel "The Good Lesbian" Maddow (who the hell knows where she came from out of Nowhere (friend of Al Franken's, we assume)) were trumpeting the triumphs of the Dumbocrat money launderers, how the Dumbos were out money grabbing the Repugnicans getting ready for the 2006 elections and the money wasn't coming from a Jack Abramoff subsidiary or Bill Clinton's crook-buddy, Marc Rich--pardoned at the last minute by Slick Willie the same as Georgie Porgie, our "president," will pardon his asshole-buddy Kenny Boy Lay--but from the grassroots, those good ole midstream Amuricans: that's people like you and me, you know? It's We the People, the people who own these bastards and the property they sit their big fat asses on as though THEY owned it; you know how much land We the People own? At least half the states of Nevada and Alaska; all the best beaches on every coast; the national parks, the national forests, the wildernesses and the land 3 miles out to sea. That land is our land. And when these politicians retire or else quit their posts and go to work for the lobbyist or the defense industry, they retire with a lot of We the People's money, a continued payment of most of their ill-gotten salaries (don't you wish on your job you could give yourself a huge raise when you felt like it?), office expenses, money to build their stupid libraries (check out the library Slick Willie built with We the People's money for himself in Little Rock (and little brains), Arkansas. It's the most modern building in town--they used a lot of illegal labor on that project, I'll bet you), Secret Service protection, free tickets to most golf courses in the world, plus the best health care OUR money can buy. Oh to live like these born-crooked politicians.

Like I was watching Howard Dean, a wild-eyed semi-crazed guy, spouting off some nonlogical bullshit on a talk show t'other day. He wasn't saying one god-damn sensible thing, just repeating old line legal reserve bullshit about FDR and JFK and blah, blah, blah. I got to thinking, why would a doctor practicing medicine give it up and become a politician? Doesn't that make you wonder a bit? Let me take a guess at answering that puzzling question: they can make more money as politicians than they can as doctors. PLUS, they don't face any malpractice suits when they fuck up as politicians like they have to do when they're doctors. Just as Dean's campaigning stupidity left him spinning like an empty beer can in the middle of a I-number highway, his leadership of the Dumbcratic Party is showing signs of the same stupidity. The Dumbos haven't a clue how to win the 2006 elections yet and the Repugnicans are handing it to them on a tarnished fake silver platter. The Repugnicans will win the 2006 elections from my point of view, which is within the cesspool created by these creeps looking out. We the People want a change, yes, but not the change the Dumbocrats are offering us. It's small change; we want big change.

I'm also alarmed by the claptrap praise being given to old military dudes like John Murtha and how they deserve to be listened to and to be more powerful in Dumbocratic politics. Murtha voted for the god-damn War in Iraq, by the way, same as Hillary RodHAM Clinton, Slick Hilliary she wishes, and a host of these other would-be Dumbocrat candidates, like John "Coward" Kerry and Al "Big Wimp" Gore, who says he's not a candidate, which of course most political observers take with a huge tablespoon of iodized salt. Just like Wesley Clark was heralded as a great Democrat when he was bullhorning about his views on the Iraq War--all of these ex-military MEN preface their comments by saying that first of all they're really really against the war because we didn't put enough troops in there in the first place. You noticed that? Nor will they talk down about the military. Wesley Clark was the same general who was hellbent for leather in the Bosnia-Serbia fiasco under Slick Willie Clinton, who made preemptive strikes all the time but gets praised for his war-handling by the Dumbocrat swooners. Check out that poor fool ex-Iraq vet, Paul Hackett, who tried to run in Ohio--and he got heavy support from especially Air America so much so that Jerry Springer got stuck with him so that now Hackett fills in for often vacationing Jerry when he can't make the show--they both deserve each other; about the same dullness and dumbness. Hackett tried to run his campaign based on his rather inane views of Iraq War, he, too, apologizing for the foolish young soldiers and still talkin' everything in army terms. Gung-ho crap apologizing for our troops. That's not who I want representing me in Congress. Those foul-bellied Repugnicans would eat these guys up and spit them out the way they did poor old slack-shouldered Colon Powell, who lowered himself into the pig trough of shame when he was forced by his "commander in chief" old Wahoo Georgie Porgie to go before the world of the UN and use child-like drawings to prove there were definitely WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION in Iraq and by God old Rummy himself said we even knew where the hell they were--you know, like just outside Baghdad. No big deal right? Remember, Rummy said the Iraq War wouldn't last much more than six weeks...maybe six months. Yeah, Rummy, you hyena-laughing criminal--or "agents provocatures" as these guys were known in the Viet Nam wrongful war, another war these same OIL bastards got us into back at the tail end of old draggin' ass Eisenhower's administration of Repugnican screwballs like the Dulles Brothers. Or how about what these slimeballs did to Max Cleland, a dude who lost two legs and an arm to that folly in 'Nam? The coward-ass Repugnican spin doctors cut old Max's other arm off and called him a helpless coward whose ass Georgie Porgie could kick with one had tied to his mommy's apron (HAH-HAH) strings. Or look what they did to John McCain, a man who lived in a Tiger cage for some enormously ungodly number of years--I mean they pulled his teeth out without anesthetics while calling him all sorts of filthy ass names since he was the enemy overthere, you understand. All cultures who go to war torture their enemy when they capture them. That's war, son. No excuse of course unless you believe old Brit Thomas Hobbes who saw mankind as barbaric no matter its so-called progress. The Repugs spinned old John McCain as a total nutjob from his Tiger cage experience and I have to admit, I kinda feel that way about Viet Nam vets that actaully saw really really real combat or who were shot down and taken prisoner like Mc Cain, a fighter pilot, like old Pappy himself was a fighter pilot in WWII. Seems I heard a story years ago about how Pappy's plane got hit and crashed and Pappy bailed out before the rest of his crew, something a crew captain ain't suppose to do, just like a sea captain has to stay with his ship, yada, yada, yada. And these lickspittling draft dodgers and AWOL oil-rich privileged spoiled brats keep spouting about how proud they are of our dead soldiers--and how embarrassing was watching that AWOL asshump "president" putting a wreath on the Tomb of the Unknown Poor Boy and talking about our heroes in Iraq with his eyes dry as bones and showing no compassion at all. General Smedley Butler, winner of two Congressional Medals of Honor, three actually but the CoH purists won't give him his third, said over 70 years ago, that being a soldier in the US armed forces meant you're working for Amurican corporations and protecting their interests and dying for their freedom to rape foreign countries of their natural resources so that the USA can continue to trumpet how F-ing HUGE and MEAN we are and you can either kiss our powerful asses or we'll "take ya all on" and maybe turn your country into a radiated wasteland, a la T.S. Eliot's poem. "WAR IS A RACKET," Smedley said then, and that's still true now. WAR IS A RACKET. Here are some companies that got rich off WWII: Bayer Pharmaceuticals (their product aspirin, which they now PR as a "miracle" drug, was tested on Jewish prisoners in the conscentration camps), the Eberhard Industries--check out that wooden #2 pencil you use at you workstation, kids, does it say Eberhard on it? Or how about the Deutschland Uber Alles Bank, Krupp Steel, General Aniline Corporation, Daimler (who now own Chrysler Motors), or Mercedes-Benz (now one of the most popular cars among the privileged rich egoists), even Hitler's own little company, Volkswagen, is still doing quite well, ja vol...and these were German companies, ja vol; and Germany lost WW II. Didn't they? Oh, really? Well, then, how about Mitsubishi in Japan?--they got rich as Japan's leading war industry--they made tanks, planes, everything--today they make automobiles--wonder where they learned to be so proficient in making automobiles? Ah the ironies--and all due to WAR. CAPITALISM depends on wars to keep it bullish.

Ok, you say, how can the Dumbocrats win then since you're so F-ing smart? It's simple, by getting ahold of those crooked voting machines that Congress has mandated every state use in the near future (Tomorrowland) and pitching them all in the nearest government superfund dumping site cess pool. Right now the Repugnicans aren't worried; they'll still pull miraculous victories out of the hat to win most close-call elections this fall wait and see. It's already happened in California, in San Diego where I heard poll workers took the voting machines home with them before counting the votes. Just heresay, but probably true. Watch Ohio, Florida, California, and the red-ass states; their votes will be crookedly counted, that I guarantee. Now, if the Dumbos lose by bare-minimum margins, then their next move should be to hold up the whole damn election process, refuse to concede any close-call precincts anywhere, and file suit after suit against the state voting regulators and the secretaries of state, like that assinine Kathleen Harris who is currently looking more and more like Tammy Faye Baker she's fallen so far from whatever grace it is sleasebags like her believe in. The Dumbocrats must disrupt voting as usual and demand recounts, a hundred if that's how many it takes. Paper balloting. Controlled balloting. But, and this is a pretty safe guess, just like Al Gore and John Kerry gave up without a fight and were both snugly in their little mansion beds by 11 pm, so will these Dumbocrat senators and representatives kowtow when the Repugnican crooks sweep squeaky close past them in last minute vote counts again in this election.

All politicians are crooks, I don't give a shit what party they belong to. The only way to get rid of them is to flush them down the toilets they sit on all day shitting us. All the toilets in the Senate, the House, the Executive Branch, the Justice Department, the Supreme Court, the CIA, the Pentagon, the FBI, the government are getting so full of shit that I'm afraid one of those fool's is going to cause a massive panicking flushing of toilets in Washington, District of Corruption, and it's gonna flood the hell out of the Beltway and K Street and Pennsylvania Avenue, and Camp David, and Unka Dick's secret bunker-- so much shit we'll never see old Washington, D.C., the same again. It'll be a Katrina of shit that will wipe out from midtown D.C. all the way out through Georgetown over into Arlington, Fairfax, Virginia, nothing but flooding shit, hot shit, steamy hot, hot tons of shit. Good, then maybe we could build a whole new capitol city and put in We the People to run it. Maybe make it a tent city and move it around like a circus; let it play in the Midwest for a session, then move it to say the hills of West Virginny.

I've often been amazed by seeing how one tiny cosmologically insignificant human being, one out of billions, can get so much F-ing power, like Georgie Porgie, our "president" (never elected fairly or honestly, if there ever has been such an election), power enough to steal billions of dollars from the nation's treasury and order thousands of civilian human beings killed and thousands of soldier human beings killed and hundreds of thousands of people maimed and justify your orders by saying you are honoring the people and soldiers you're killing! Or the honor of their wimpy old Pappy, in the case of Georgie Porgie. [Did you read that Pappy advised Sonny Boy to get rid of Donald Rumfull and Sonny Boy told Pappy to kiss his mamma's boy's ass? I'll bet Pappy rues the day he crossed Babs way back in those long hard days of crooked oil dealings in Mexico when little Georgie Porgie was tied to her apron (HAH!) strings.]

I'm sorry I'm such a Freudian. It's so clear to me all this macho hustling and shit that's going on in the world today. Penis envy among males who probably don't have penises with much power anyway. You think Georgie Porgie can still get it up? I'll betcha he can't? Why do you think Pickles has moved into the Mayflower Hotel? How about John Kerry? Like Jake Barnes in Hemingway's The Sun Also Rises, perhaps his dick was shot off in his heroic days in 'Nam. Perhaps that's why he threw his medals away. On the other hand, he got the Heinz-inheritant babe--I don't know; remember what I said about Jake Barnes getting hot rich babes, even after he told them he'd had his pecker blown off. Where there's a will there's a way, dammit. I don't think the Dumbocrats have the will, which is too damn bad 'cause they sure do have the way.

thegrowlingwolf
for The Daily Growler

A Daily Growler Sports Bulletin
Don't put any money on USA football (soccer to us) in the World Cup. Czech beat 'em 3-0. US couldn't do dick shit. Italy is next and they have a pretty good team. They beat Ghana, not that good'a team, easily and they look pretty rough. Unless the US team gets Benny Hinn to slam 'em into the Holy Ghost and they start pulling miracles out of their raggedy asses, don't look for them to score against the Italians either.

I'm a Mexico fan now after seeing them wipe their asses with Iran, who looked like if they'd get together better could have a good team. So far, I'd say Mexico, Italy, England, and that damn Ecuador look like the best teams I've seen so far. Spain you have to watch and France. We'll see. If the US beats Italy, I'll eat one of languagehat's hats.

Tequila

Speaking of Mexico, I saw a great bar in Mexico City on teevee tonight; they had over 150 different tequilas there with this sharp-ass funny Mexican owner showing this little Brit chick how to down shots of tequila, you know, by licking your hand at the base of thumb and then salting it, then licking the salt off and at the same time squeezing half a lime into your mouth and then you shoot back a shot of tequila. Wow. It looked totally Mexican and totally exciting to my solar plexus; I lived in Mexico City for a year and that's one of the greatest places I've ever been and I've been to some fine damn places, too, like putting my filthy sloshed tootsies into the rushing waters of the mighty Amazon at a place in Colombia where William Burroughs first discovered yaghi, the most powerful drug he'd ever taken--that is almost as powerful as a full load of adrenelin shot up your spinal cord. Arriba! Pachucos! And the Brit chick went down to Garibaldi Square and oh such memories came floating back to me like a jacaranda flower floating in a bathtub filled by a luscious senorita o senora...hay-yi-yi, amigos! And I once played bamboo flutes with some companeros who called themselves Los Hijos del Tiburon, the Sons of the Shark, and oh the joys of being drunk, playing a weasel dance or two then Malaguena Salerosa...whew, nothing finer. Then calling over the dude with the shock box and getting shocked really really good and then buying a cheap cigaro from the dude, lighting it with a diez pesos note, and then wafting down a crock of and spilling a little vino San Tomas on my white suit. What a life? The past. Only memories and you know how memories are manipulated. I drank Mezcal when I lived there; Mezcal and Ron Bacardi, which was $1.50 a fifth. Have I told you about the night I got drunk on the roof of my hotel with a Time friend of mine on Mexican Bacardi rum--a bowl full of limes, plenty of salt, even for the rum. You drink every alcoholic beverage in Mexico with a hand laced with salt and plenty of fresh limones. A grito for Mexico!

therovingmaniac
for The Daily Growler

Sunday, June 11, 2006

The World Beyond

JJ van der Leeuw
I just started reading Hilda Doolittle's Tribute to Freud, which she wrote in the forties after two different sessions as an analysand with Sigmund Freud in Vienna in 1933 and then later in 1934. In the very first pages of the first section of this book, "Writing on the Wall," she mentions the person who was seeing Freud the hour before her sessions with him, J.J. van der Leeuw, a leading figure of the day in the world of Theosophy. H.D. said he was a wealthy Dutchman who owned several plantations in the Dutch East Indies and had lived and travelled throughout India studying the occult. Freud called this man "The Flying Dutchman" because he flew his own airplane everywhere he went. During her first visit to Freud in Vienna, HD said she always saw this young Dutchman coming from Freud's consultation room, or she would pass him on the steps up to Freud's dwelling, and only once had a conversation with him when he asked her if she would trade hours with him the next day. That summer back in London, she read where J.J. van der Leeuw had crashed his plane and killed himself in Tanganyika after attending a conference in South Africa. HD was so moved by van der Leeuw's death, she returned to Vienna for more Freud sessions.

I became curious about JJ van der Leeuw. I had read of him somewhere back in my own tour of all the books I could get my mitts on in my younger days, but I knew nothing about him nor had I ever read any of his many books. So I looked him up. Aha! He was into Theosophy all right; in fact he was one of its intellectual participants. What? Theosophy? I tried to read Madame Blavatsky one time but I thought it mostly silly. van der Leeuw started out as a purist Theosophist but soon began to argue against its basic premise, where the spiritual world is the real world and man is the Higher Self who is comfortably at home in the Spiritual World but bitterly afraid of reality. Man is born into the Spiritual World. He then through study descends into the "lower worlds of matter" and there "through his lower bodies" he gathers experience through which "his Self has become perfected" and he can then return to "the World Beyond" from whence he came (the Spiritual World). Sounds familiar? Sounds to me like an intellectual approach to the Jesus Christ fable.

van der Leeuw wrote in his lecture, Revelation or Realization: the Conflict in Theosophy, that Revelation was only possible "when there is one oracle ("the World Teacher") or channel of revelation." See the Jesus connection here, too? Also Judaism, which is based on the interpretations of teachers (or rabbis). For this reason, one oracle's authority can't be questioned. "A plurality of oracles," van der Leeuw writes, "is death to revelation."

Theosophy is "the experience of the divine," whereas Theology is "discussion about God." Theosophists like the idea of a divine state and not the divination of certain individuals. It's like this, according to van der Leeuw, "This experience of the ultimate, of reality, of life, of truth is beyond discussion. It exists wherever a man has it and cannot be denied. Man is only a focus of reality and not a separate being."

In Theosophy, the World of Matter is outside. The World of Spirit is inside. It's materialism vs. idealism. To Theosophists, materialism is the enemy since the Spiritual World is the real world, the home of Man, "the Higher Self." Theosophy becomes the philosophy of the Beyond. One strives on earth for a perfection that is only possible in a future space and time (the Beyond). Spirit and Matter correspond to science's Force and Mass.

That was the Theosophy of the Victorian Age. This is the Theosophy van der Leeuw was lecturing against when he gave this paper at a conference in London. He shook the old Theosophists up by saying Theosophy must abandon the World Beyond for the "Here and Now," the experience of the moment. Theosophy, van der Leeuw felt had to become the philosophy of the Now. Theosophists crave explanation; that's their whole thing about experiencing real life. Once they accept the explanation, that's it; cased closed, and the Theosophist goes to sleep, so to speak, in the safety of his higher World Beyond. van der Leeuw states it as, "The Theosophist perfection lays in a system of thought that brings a state of mental certainty and repose in which there remains only one fear, that of being disturbed by doubt." van der Leeuw said, "Life beyond explanation scares man. Man feels safe only when nothing that happens to him in daily life escapes the system of rational explanation which he has built up." There is no place, in other words, for thinkers in Theosophy. Thinkers are a disturbing influence. It's weird bullshit. I find van der Leeuw an interesting "attacker" of life. What he says he said after he started flying, and flying in his day was by "the seat of the pilot's pants" since there were no radio beams to follow. You flew according geo maps with landmarks along the way marked on as well as estimated altitudes and all made relevant by your trusty compass. There is no certainty or perfection in flying; plus he said, Theosophy must become interested in thinking, especially psychoanalytical thinking, van der Leeuw's reason for consultations with Freud. He wanted to turn Theosophy into an educational tool.

Life, however, can never be reconciled to preconceived thoughts, neither can it be rationalized. Life is not an intelligence, therefore it is neither rational nor logical; it has no cause and no purpose. The attempt to rationalize the suffering that comes to us in life, to show that we have deserved it, and that it is "good for something" ultimately, is therefore doomed to failure; we cannot tame life in this way. J.J. van der Leeuw, Revelation or Realization.

And so van der Leeuw wrote off Theosophy as dead in the water unless they woke up from their reposing inclinations and started putting the 2 + 2 of reality together and face the fact there is NO WORLD BEYOND only the NOW. The ultimate has to be reached in the NOW or it will never be reached.

I Thought It Great Fun
I find thinkers like van der Leeuw interesting, though I find Freud and Hilda Doolittle much more interesting, though their lives weren't flown by the seat of their pants; therefore, van der Leeuw was more adventurous in his thinking than even Freud.

thegrowlingwolf
for The Daily Growler
on a tepid Sunday.

Saturday, June 10, 2006

In Another Early Morning

Trolling for Pleasure
When you awaken at 4 am, what do you do? It's the quietest time in the world for me; precacophony times if you live in one of the constantly grinding cities, like the big 4, NYC, Chicago, Philly, or Los Angeles. It's hard to place Los Angeles amidst these others; Los Angeles has got to be the most spread-out city in the US; it's more like Mexico City than it is a US city, and I don't mean because there are so many Mexicans there as much as I mean it's spread like thick megopolis mayonaise all over a large hectares of going-on-forever gummy Wonder bread square miles. I'm back east, so I'm riding the back of a sun that won't be to LA for another 3 hours, and my early morning hours are like being in a soundproofed booth getting prepped for the $64,000,000 question.

I got my early morning bearings first by watching Wai Lana, the PBS yoga babe, a strange Asian-souled Amurican with her head miles up in some Neverland of clouds and Pacific sunsets as she manipulates her splendidly tight body through the many hoodoo body positions exhaled as "control of mind over body" by mobs of Indian fakirs, some of whom claim they can stop their hearts, though Wai Lana stops your heart only by convincing you you can easily slam-dunk a navasana pose even though you weigh 220 pounds and your metabolism is dependent on French fries and fried chicken from KFC (the Colonel's own Kentucky FRIED Chicken, but you know, fried foods were given F-minuses in the goody-two-shoes days of government warnings, so the current Kentucky colonels decided to go the acronymic way of covering up the negative aspects of their company's "killer" product). To me, it's a treat to watch Wai with the sound off; she has a terribly unsexy voice, though Wai thinks she's expressing herself in terms of beauty all the time and that's what makes her unsexy voice so damn sexy even though I hate her vocal phrasings and think of several lurid ways of shutting her up while I'm watching her go through her devotions. In those poses where Wai's alluringly charming bottom is prominently arced and saliently extended right-in-your-sexual-eyes it's hard to think that Wai is as much a figment of televised unreality as Big Bird and Elmo or the plethora of teevee chefs that trot in and out of PBS studio kitchens every morning, noon, and all nights long. So I take leave of the Planet Veggie and go surfing and, lo, who do I come across but Christopher Buckley sitting there on the PBS sophisticated bullshit program NOW, the one the "spankers for Christ," when they took over PBS, decided was too far left for their taste and needed to be balanced (moved more right wing) so they added the honest-to-God (Capitalism) in-ept journalism of the Wall Street Journal Report, hosted by some punishing dits from that Dow rag's editorial bored.

We were for awhile, especially after PBS sacked him, hearing a lot of peacock-badgering from good ole boy Bill Moyers when he was chief keiko-muckity-muck of NOW and was warning us of the media sliding further and further into right-wing old plantation hell (a truth poor ole Hillary Rodham Clinton ("by thy rod and thy ham...") tried to make analogous with Congress to a falling brick wall of condemnation from the nutjob right saying she was pulling out her "race" card and using it unfairly since she made the statement before a black audience who already knew the truth of what she was saying--Amen). Bill has been rather quiet for almost a year now after making a couple preacher boy brilliant speeches that were published by BuzzFlash I know and I nominated him as BuzzFlash lefty hero of the week in which he tried to spill the truth about what was coming in terms of Georgie Porgie and his Texas Bush Baby World Order Boys; poor little rich boys wanting to rule the whole damn world finally out from under the thumbs and feet of their wimpy parents, except Georgie Porgie's mommy who he loves because of how his old pappy treated her when GP was a little spoiled rich brat boy. But Bill, I guess, has retired to one of his fabulous homes; probably working on a book. It's amazing how many books these guys can write. Except if you stop and think about who really writes these guys's copy for them.

Like Bobby Kennedy, Jr. He's currently being hailed for what every lefty is calling "a brilliant piece" on how the Bush Babies stole the 2004 election, for damn sure in Ohio, in Rolling Stone, named after the McKinley Morganfield tune and not the rip-off British rock band I hope, though my hopes are often dashed when it comes to hoping for respect for American originalities. I rather doubt that Bobby Jr. does his own investigative reporting. Don't you think he uses a staff and probably students, I think he's connected to a college in upstate New York, to get his facts together? Then he probably dictates his manuscripts and has an assistant copyedit and proofread them, then go over the proofs with him.... Wow. Like his cousin John John. Just because he took that old Kennedy bootleg money and bought his own magazine, did that make him a great editor/publisher/commentator? Amazing how well these spoiled rich brats do just because they are from the families they are from. Ronnie Reagan, Jr., is an investigative reporter. How about Gloria Vanderbuilt's weirdo son is a teevee news commentator. They rule us. How come we let them rule us? Hey, Bobby, tell us the truth about your family's and your father's and your uncle's connection to the mob and how about what you know about your uncle's being blown away--didn't Aunt Jackie O ever talk about it to you guys? Tell us that kind of stuff. And what about your Uncle Teddy? Was he dippin' in the Congressional secretarial pool for side fun back during the heavy party time of those Edgartown days? Maybe with some female aides, too? Or how about your cousin who killed the girl with a golf club? Or your cousin who raped the bimbo down on the Palm Beach estate. Or your brother who died of a drug overdose in a Florida scumbag motel? What about electro-shock treatments for your poor old retarded aunt? How about Mama Rose paying no mind to your old crusty grandfather banging Gloria Swanson just above her in one of the mansion's very private bedrooms? What about your cousin Patrick? Is he sane enough to be a representative of We the People? How come with all the Kennedys we've had in power they've never really accomplished anything except the same old thing the Repugnicans keep giving us, total bullshit, higher prices, less earnings, and more bullshit. Instead, from Bobby Jr. we get "proof" that Bush stole the 2004 election through Kenneth Blackwell and Ohio voting machine and voting allowance fraud. Hey, Bobby Jr., where you been? We knew that the night of it's being reported back when it was happening. We were hoping John Kerry would get as asshole gung-ho as he was when he thirsted to go to Nam where he could become a hero; we were hoping his cojones were still as intact as they were when he threw his stupid war medals into a drink or wherever he threw them, but, nope, he gave up and was in bed with his rich honey before 11 pm. That son of a bitch gave up. He didn't even pitch a bottle of Heinz catsup at somebody's f-ing head. Come on. That voting bullshit was predicted before the election happened.

Anyway, I started watching NOW in these early morning hours, the slick Nick dude (a Mainer) who took over from good ole Bill Moyers was interviewing the Buckley clone, Christopher, the dull-bright son of William F. (for "fakir") Buckley, who got started on his erudite-tongued career by working as a Yaley grad information gatherer for old Wild Bull Donovan's OSS (Office of Secret Service) during WWII, which Allan Dulles (the quiet but more ruthless of the Dulles brothers) turned into what he called "The Central Intelligence Agency," better known to you KFC fans as the CIA.

It seems, according to this Nick dude, Christopher Buckley is one of the greatest satirists we've ever produced in this country. Really? Even with his irritating blinking left eye? What the hell caused that tic? Ever notice that? I mean he's slickly groomed; had a well-tailored Scotch wool spring jacket, expensive shirt and tie but loosened as though he's right out of his hot office in one of Steve Forbes's pigeonholes at Forbes "we'll tell you whose got all of your money" magazine. You see, I'm totally dumb about this guy; I have never read a one of his extremely satirically mezmerizing bestsellers; nor have I read any of his investigative reporting articles or seen any of his movies. I tried. I searched the Internet for articles but all I got was lickspittle praise of him--one blog critic did say he didn't develop some of his characters very well. I see the prick as a lucky bastard, lucky his old daddy was that total phony asshole William F. Buckley, Jr. God how anyone with any brains adore that old right-wing, conservatively snooty fraud of a man. The only fun I had with William F. Buckley, Jr., was when Gore Vidal cooked the silly fakir's goose right on teevee, pissing the old Yaley fart off so much he called Gore a "queer," a homo, to which Gore replied he prefered being called a "homosexualist" rather than a homo or a queer. F-you, Chris, go out on your daddy's yacht and sail off into the satirical sunset.

If I ever find the spare time to read one of Mr. Buckley's "oh-so-funny" satirical masterpieces and I happen to like it, I'll retract what I said above, kiss his ass, and proofread for him for free for a couple of coons's ages. I guess when you come from wealth, writing is what you would call an ultimate hobby. Fuck the Buckleys. How about Jim Buckley, remember that dipstick?

God I hate teevee and all it spawns. Give me Warren Spahn anyday, may he rest in a perpetual 7th-inning stretch.

thegrowlingwolf
for The Daily Growler

The Daily Growler Sports Extra With Marv Backbiter
England wasn't that impressive today in the World Cup. They beat Paraguay but by one goal and Paraguay had a couple of opportunities to knock the Brit buggers out of the contest, but, the Brits are attackers and play rough so that makes them look good.

How about Ecuador beating the Poles? That was fun. Ecuador is a rather cooly designed team; very active all over the field like the great past Brasilian teams.

Argentina looked mean and tough, too, today as they beat the Ivory Coast (come on, the "Marfils" were big dudes and they attacked very well, missing a couple of easy shots on goal. We'll see; it's so early and I haven't seen any team yet that looks that threatening. I haven't seen Brasil yet; so we'll see. US plays Monday. Wonder will they get booed by the new generation Germans? Will we get booed for the dunderheaded and outright cruel decisions being made by our madhouse "president" and his stooge Congress?

In the sport of al-Zarqawi killing, the Amurican forces have changed their story now; seems the invincible Abu Musab wasn't blown to smithereens by those two 500 lb bombs afterall. Think about two 500 lb bombs hitting your house all at once. I read an account of the aftermath by a reporter who claims he was in the little town where Zarqawi had been living for quite some time. Remember, Saddam wanted to kill Zarqawi when Rumsfeld introduced the two; then Rumsfeld told the air strikers in the no-fly zone to protect Abu M. as he was important to the cause. No mention of al Qaeda at that time...oh shit, I forgot, this administration lies about everything; therefore, using this logic, let's see, that means al-Zarqawi is still alive. I'm catching on to the sport of politics! Now the "honest" Amurican forces are saying Abu M. was actually still alive when they found him. He was on a stretcher and when he saw the Amurican forces, he rolled off the stretcher and tried to make a break for the border. The kind and caring Amurican troops helped him gently get back on the stretcher then they say he gurgled something unintelligible to them [they do not speak his language by the way so anything he would have said would have been unintelligible to them] and then they say he died. Now you would have thought this important bugger would have been kept alive; all the information he has about Al Qaeda operations! But no; better dead than contradictory to Georgie Porgie's big picture.

The George Steinbrenner Yankees have lost three in a row thanks to their multimillionaire hitters not hitting and their multimillionaire pitchers pitching as lousy as game-begging stark amateurs with 0-10 records in the Bush leagues. Randy "I'm too old to be doing this" Johnson for instance in yesterday's loss to Oakland gave up 4 homeruns and in one inning walked 4. Hey, Randy, how about giving some of that multimillion buck stash you got in a Cayman Island bank back to the fans? Why are players paid according to their supposed abilities and not by their game-to-game value? I mean if a guy is hitting .288, like A-Rod is currently hitting, then hell, pay him for that time as a .288 hitter. If he hits .340, hell yeah, give him enough to buy a couple'a ranches and some vintage cars and shit.

The Mets, they're coming along fine. Willie Randolph is proving to be a pro manager--the Mets are playing the best baseball I've ever seen them play--such hustle--even old supposedly washed up Tom Glavine is having a hell of a season.

Of course, Albert Pujols already has 25 homeruns and has knocked in 65 runs. What a player. Of course, if George Steinbrenner buys him and makes a Yankee out of him, then he'll suddenly hit .250 and lead the league in strike outs and injuries. Saint Louie looks awesome in the Nat League; Detroit still holding off the White Sox as the best percentage team in the American League and beisbol right now. Daily Growler baseball wits are still predicting a subway series, Yankees and Mets, but they are prejudice. The White Sox have to be ready to do some tire biting again this year as good as they look.

And Jason Grimsley; what a piece of cowardly shit; spilling his guts on all his buddies because the big shots in the Majors are threatening to throw the book at him. Hey, Jason, no Hall of Fame for you; just step over there with Pete Rose and Shoeless Joe Jackson. What a bunch of buncombe all this growth hormone shit is. There's no proof that shit makes these "kids" superdudes. Jason Grimsley wasn't so hot a pitcher ever; not even when he was with the Yankees. Let them eat cake if they want to; who gives a shit? Arnold Schwartzenegger besides being the son of a Nazi cop admits to smoking pot, taking buckets full of steroids and body builder crap, and grabbing women's asses and tits with impunity and shit that son of a bitch gets to be goobernor of California. He still smokes cigars and blows smoke in your pansy face, too, should you mock his accent or something. How hypocritical every son of bitch in this country seems to be.

Put your money on the Royal Family of Dubai's horse in the Belmont Stakes...oh shit, the race is over and praise Allah, the Royal Family's horse was the winner. Horse racing is crooked as a snake at night, but who cares, gambling gives Yahoos hope. There are no rich horseplayers, however; only rich horse owners.

With a Bye Now, Neighers,
marv backbiter
for The Daily Growler Sports Extra

The Daily Growler Quote of the Day
"Mozart, both his life and his works inform us, was more continuously occupied than either of these other composers [Beethoven and Wagner] with what we nowadays call 'leftism' (not to be confused with 'left wing,'...).

"Mozart was not, like Wagner, a political revolutionary. Nor was he, like Beethoven, an old fraud who just talked about human rights and dignity but who was really an irascible, intolerant, and scheming careerist, who allowed himself the liberty, when he felt like it, of being unjust toward the poor, lickspittle toward the rich, dishonest in business, unjust and unforgiving toward the members of his own family. ...

"The three great theater-pieces of his [Mozart's] maturity, Die Zauberflote, Le Nozze di Figaro, and Don Giovanni, are all of them celebrations of his faith and fellowship, of what we should call liberalism or 'leftism' and what the eighteenth century called Enlightenment." Virgil Thomson, Music Reviewed, Vintage Books, 1967; from a review written in 1940.