From Lake Flaccid, New York, Comes barrabusmunn-dayne, The Daily Growler Jots & Tittles Man
Hey, it's been a while. I've been repairing my cabin on Lake Flaccid. Plus, what the hell, I ran for mayor of Lake Flaccid on the Moe-Dern ticket. Yep. Almost got elected, too, though a part of my campaign promise was if I got elected I'd resign immediately. I lost by 29 votes to Gladys Barnside, Major Carl Barnside's wife.
The first thing Gladys did as mayor was organize the First Annual Lake Flaccid Gun and Military Weapons Show. It was a big affair. Brought in gun kooks from all around the Adirondacks. It was rumored Gladys benefited nicely from an NRA contribution to her personal bank account. The show was held in a big tent. To highlight the event, Lake Flaccid wafted that tent with odoriferous delights of foul airs. It didn't seem to bother the gun enthusiasts. I went over there, and, yes, the smell was unbelievably hard on the nostrils and lungs, but gas mask sales were heavy and a lot of the attendees, all dressed in their best military guise, camouflage outfits and army fatigues the fashion of the day, put on their new gas masks to thwart off old Lake Flaccid's worst flatulence. I saw a lot of Soldiers of Fortune teeshirts and, of course, NRA logo-ed tees. One banner declared if the citizens of Aurora, Colorado, had been packing heat, there would have been less deaths and injuries. I don't suppose you can argue with that. One table, it had a sign in both English and Russian, was selling Class 3 weapons, like machine gun kits and what was claimed to be an "unworking" bazooka. Another table featured "Sid Mosca, the Israeli Lover of Big Guns and Zaftik Women." Sid was doing a strong hand-gun business when I sailed past his stall. I ran into Chief Little Jesus Moses at Sid's table. "I'm buying a Ruger, baby, so I can shoot White bastards if they try and penetrate my property." The biggest seller at the show, according to the NRA statistics booth was the Mosin-Nagant M91/30 7.62X54R, billed as "Everybody's Favorite Gun."
Most of the talk I heard around the show was about the Aurora shooter and how citizens carrying guns could have prevented him from killing as many as he did. There was a lot of huzzahs going around for George Zimmerman, too; one guy was taking up money for George's legal defense fund. The Sikh shooter was also defended, on the grounds that Bin Ladin wore a turban so it was easy to mistake a Sikh for an al-Queda terrorist. One discussion forum led by the NRA was entitled, "Your Constitutional Right to Kill a Criminal or Be Killed by a Criminal: Obama vs. Romney" and was hosted by Matty "Bring 'Em On" Groznovich from over in the Finger Lakes region, a certified member of the Syracuse Blow the Bears Away Society, or so the sign explaining Matty's expertise stated. One booth's sign I thought was interesting, said, "When Duck Season Opens Will You Have Enough Fire Power!" That booth had relevance to me since though I've never seen a duck on Lake Flaccid, when duck season does open, my cabin gets blasted by a lot of misdirected shotgun fire. I often wonder if my cabin looks like a giant duck from a certain distance. And lastly, Cecil the Dog-Faced Boy III's log mansion is still boarded up and given over to the local fauna. I've not heard a whelp from him, though I did try to call his sister in Florida to no avail. Strange. But then, life is pretty damn strange, isn't it?
Jots & Tittles
---Say Goodbye to: Johnny Pesky, one of the greatest Boston Red Sox; the famous Pesky Pole in right field at Fenway named for Johnny; an infielder during the Ted Williams era. Johnny Pesky, 92, American professional baseball player, manager, and coach (Boston Red Sox).
---Interesting to me how suddenly Obamacare is the greatest healthcare reform in the history of Pay or Die Healthcare. I mean it was written by the Pay-or-Die Hospitals-for-Profit gang, the Big Pharma greed jockeys, and the Pay-or-Die Health Insurance pirates; yet, the liberal and pseudo-liberal and Neo-Con Democrats are touting it as the greatest...well, I mean, what's ironic is that it was originally Romneycare in Massachusetts. I'm confused. Single-payer healthcare or a National Healthcare program seems so much more logical and money saving; yet both parties are dead-set against such truly progressive programs. Makes no sense to me; does it to you?
---Gore Vidal's death: I'm one of those persons who just can't believe when certain people die. Like Gore Vidal. I guess I thought he'd just be around forever. William F. Buckley's death was a good thing (quoting successful felon Martha Stewart); but Gore's death really was a bad thing. No sharper mind around during my lifetime...unless it was Bertie Russell's...but then Bertie was a world thinker while Gore was a USA-Republic thinker. Does that make sense? But then, a lot of things make no sense, like the guntoters interpretation of the 2nd Amendment to the Constitution.
---Gore Vidal said:
“As societies grow decadent, the language grows decadent, too. Words are used to disguise, not to illuminate, action: you liberate a city by destroying it. Words are to confuse, so that at election time people will solemnly vote against their own interests.”
“Today's public figures can no longer write their own speeches or books, and there is some evidence that they can't read them either. ”
“The genius of our ruling class is that it has kept a majority of the people from ever questioning the inequity of a system where most people drudge along paying heavy taxes for which they get nothing in return.”
“The idea of a good society is something you do not need a religion and eternal punishment to buttress; you need a religion if you are terrified of death.”
“Traitors who prevail are patriots; usurpers who succeed are divine emperors.”
“Because there is no cosmic point to the life that each of us perceives on this distant bit of dust at galaxy's edge, all the more reason for us to maintain in proper balance what we have here. Because there is nothing else. Nothing. This is it. And quite enough, all in all.”
“I believe there's something very salutary in, say, beating up a gay-bashing policeman. Preferably one fights through the courts, through the laws, through education, but if at a neighborhood level violence is necessary, I'm all for violence. It's the only thing Americans understand.”
“There is only one party in the United States, the Property Party … and it has two right wings: Republican and Democrat.”
All the above Gore Vidal quotes come from www.goodreads.com/. Thanks for a good task.
---The Clintons--the Clintons get high praise all across the liberal Internet; yet look at the damage Slick Willie Clinton's administration did to this country. NAFTA, repeal of Glass–Steagall Act, gave us the Patriot Act, put drastic restrictions on habeas corpus, involved us in the Bosnian-Serb absurdities, absurd treatment of Haitian refugees and Haiti in general, using Guantanamo Naval Base as a prison complex, bringing Osama bin Laden into our lives, also getting away with having his dick sucked...but, sorry, he did not have sex with that woman did he?
---Judith Crist just died. She was 90. I was never into her because I was never that much into films that I needed some old gal from the Bronx to tell me which ones were this or that. The most interesting thing I found out about Judith was that she was the mother of Steven Crist, thoroughbred handicapper and publisher of the Daily Racing Form.
---Being a racist is legal in this Land of the Free. Being able to buy firearms with intent to massacre your fellow human beings is perfectly OK in this Home of the Brave. Our overall White belief in a White Big Daddy God justifies our killing millions of our fellow human beings in our undeclared wars that are still raging around the world.
---Did it ever occur to you: that the CIA started the Civil War in Syria?
---Manila, Philippines, is totally under water as I write this.
---Yee Haw! Country-hick music star, Randy Travis, found drunk and naked down in Yahoo Texas---why he even threatened to kill the Po-lease---but that's OK, boys will be boys. He was jest havin' a little fun.
---Mitt Romney is a spoiled brat poor little rich boy who believes in the drunken writings of Old Joe Smith and whose great-grandfather believed one woman wasn't enough for a god-fearin' Mormon man...but, hey, this fool could be our next president. White people love his worthless ass...especially racist White people...but then aren't all White people racists?
---There really was a dog-faced boy...one of my friend Cecil's relatives: Fedor Jeftichew (Russian: Фёдор Евтищев, Fyodor Yevtishchev, 1868 - January 31, 1904), better known as Jo-Jo the Dog-Faced Boy (later Jo-Jo the Dog-Faced Man), was a famous sideshow performer who was brought to the United States of America by P.T. Barnum.
Jo-Jo at his handsomest
---Dumbass: I was just reading on Holy Hell blog on Spinner, the rocker music revelation site, that Jonathan Lehrer has lost his cushy job at The New Yorker because of invented Bob Dylan quotes in a book he wrote that Harcourt Brace (or whatever their new conglomerate name is) is now pulling from publication. An online mag, The Tablet, caught Jonathan's stupid ass rigging Bob Dylan quotes. I find the idolization of Bob Dylan as a mysterious type kind of stupid in itself. If you are aware of a music pre-Bob Dylan, you know Bob's a copycat musician. I mean check out Woody Guthrie's music and there you find the "original" Bob Dylan. OK, so Bob is clever, and, yes, he did write some sterling lyrics, still he's a copycat, a Woody-imitation. Poor old stupid Jonathan Lehrer saw stars in his fiction-writing eyes...so he made up some Bob Dylan quotes. Here ya go, I'll make up a Bob Dylan quote (I overheard Bob saying this while we were fighting over who was gonna bang Joan Baez that night): "Hey, man, I never denied I'm a Woody Guthrie copycat...I mean, hell, man, I sound just like Woody. Couldn't that have been my intention all along? So what if I ripped off old blues lyrics and a Civil War poet...so what?" Hey, New Yorker, how 'bout hiring me to replace Jonathan Lehrer? You can find me up here in Lake Flaccid, New York; just ask for Barrabus; everybody knows me up here.
I wonder if the gun show is still open? I feel like bombing a church...whoops, I just ripped off Bob Marley...by the way, was Bob Marley a Bob Dylan copycat?
---Another dumbass does the same as Jonathan Lehrer: from Yahoo News:
NEW YORK (AP) — Columnist and TV host Fareed Zakaria has apologized for lifting several paragraphs by another writer for use in his column in Time magazine. His column has been suspended for a month.
Zakaria said in a statement Friday he made "a terrible mistake," adding, "It is a serious lapse and one that is entirely my fault."
In a separate statement, Time spokesman Ali Zelenko said the magazine accepts Zakaria's apology, but would suspend his column for one month, "pending further review."
"What he did violates our own standards for our columnists, which is that their work must not only be factual but original; their views must not only be their own but their words as well," Zelenko said.
Media reporters had noted similarities between passages in Zakaria's column about gun control that appeared in Time's Aug. 20 issue, and paragraphs from an article by Harvard University history professor Jill Lepore published in April in The New Yorker magazine.
Jesus, what has happened to originality? Don't these unoriginal dupes know there are buzzards everywhere looking to catch you ripping off ideas?
for The Daily Growler