Sunday, August 17, 2008
Yet Another John McCain Sunday!
Fox-Australian-American Television Says Here's Our Next Pres. and Vice Pres. Don't They Look Like World Leaders! Praise the Lard and Pass Us the Hari-Kari Knife
We Are Glad to Report...
Of course, first of all we had to run tgw off The Daily Growler office television (obsolete analog teevee)--he was watching the hot evangelical Elvis-impersonating preacher, one of his favorites to swoon and howl a bit over, Paula White--and white she is, too, Mississippi white, and white trash to boot--and when we sneaked in on the Wolf-Man he was growling happily, "Hot damn, look at her ass--and look, Praise the Lard, the Christian hypocritical cameraman is lingering on that ass--look at that, that's, according to my ass-watching timer, a full 10-plus seconds he stayed on Sweet Paula's ass. Damn, if I were a Christian, I'd be down there in Tampa right this minute--Paula looks like a much better lay than Pastor Melissa Scott...though you know my sentiments that are goin' her way...." Then he packed his bags and headed out.
First: Our first surprise was in hearing that Obama had agreed to meet Nutjob McCain at a big hooplah white-black-trash megachurch out in La-La Land! We were all shouting, "What the fuck is wrong with that jive turkey!" "Which one?" some other Growler asked. "Yeah, I got'cha, I dig, but I'm talkin' about JT Obama. What in the fuck is wrong with him, trying to win the truly ignorant-Amurican vote? Why is he afraid of Shot-Down John?"
Second: Slippin' over to George Step-on-all-of-us's show on the Mickey Mouse Network (wouldn't you like to see old Frozen Walt? Shouldn't they put him on exhibit? Along with Ted Williams's head--that must be so weird! What idiots!), we suddenly focused in on a red-faced, pig-jowled, gravy-soppin', fat, white guy who was so fuckin' happy his jowls were jiggling--and he said suddenly as though hit by the Holy Spirit, "Oh, I have no doubt that Senator McCain has a great chance...and if Joe Lieberman were to--oh that would be such a great political move--or Tom Ridge, who's another man he's considering--but, yes, I definitely feel the people trust John McCain as Commander in Chief and are a little bit afraid of Obama's inexperience when it comes to foreign policy!" Wow. George Step-on-all-of-us didn't challenge this goon--nope, he just simply went into one of his fake teevee smiles and they moved on to why nuclear power must be seriously considered as a replacement for our dependence on FOREIGN oil--not just any old oil--FOREIGN oil! That word "Foreign" still scares the hell out of Amuricans who are nearly all foreigners to this continent--like we at the Growler say the most abused Americans are Native Americans who've been imprisoned by this government since the white crazy Pilgrims and Puritans landed here uninvited and began massacring Native Americans, men, women, and children--hey, they were heathen, a horrible sin to those early one-tracked white uninvited Amuricans! I haven't heard either candidate mention the Native Americans's problems and issues yet--like continued stealing of their lands in the name of mining companies and large ranching operations and uranium mining and oil drilling--large class-action suit in just the last couple of weeks where the Indian Nations are suing the US Government for 47 billion dollars, the amount the Nations feel the Government stole from them in terms oil-land-lease-payment agreements the government made with the Native Americans back in the 19-teens-20s-30s that the government never intended to honor! Remember our government's attitude about Native Americans is still that they are heathen (they won't accept the Lord Jesus Christ as their savior) and have to be imprisoned--or at least they are ordered to stay on their reservations--so hell they are now getting rich off gambling casinos and selling tax-free cigarettes--and we guess tax-free gasoline at the reservation filling stations--we haven't checked that out yet. The white man is one dumb bastard!
Third: The Rupert Murdoch Australian-American Fox political analysts this morning were, yes, all crowing for John "Shot Down on a Mission" McCain! As far as the Fox pundits--especially that big fat pig-jowled scary almost albino white guy--is that Chris Matthews--he looks like he's fixin' to blow his heart up soon, too, same as Tim Rusted--anybody missing his in-depth reporting?--they all had McCain already president!
Fourth: We checked out the ex-priest and loud-mouth-babbling rather baboonish-looking Big Loud John McQuacklin and his sidekick, the true American dumbass, Pat Buchanan--believe it or not Pat was once a very liberal reporter on a Saint Louis newspaper--wrote a series of articles on the horrible conditions in Missouri prisons! And there they were, the ex-priest trying to get controversy going among his hand-picked dumber-than-he-is crew by slamming back at statements they were making with really inane retorts--and then here came a babe, a fairly good-looking babe, too--we think we've seen her registered as a Conservative Feminist, whatever the hell that is--and this feminist fool was very heartily praying for Big John "The Maverick" McCain to win--saying as she babbled on how Obama had made a big mistake by going on vacation in Hawaii--remember, that's the same statement spoiled-politician-daughter-rich-brat Cokie Roberts made in her condemnation of Obama as not being a good American as though visiting Hawaii was like visiting a foreign country--how dare he vacation in Hawaii! Like someone explained to Cokie, "Hawaii is a state in the Union!" so, too, did they also have to mention this to Miss Con-Fem though she continued babbling on about it being a mistake totally ignoring the fact that Hawaii isn't a foreign country.
So, folks, we are proud to announce that according to US commercial teevee and CNN and MSNBC, etc., it looks like John "Failed Mission" McCain is going to be our next president, in spite of Obama leading him in every poll so far they could think up--oh yes, the McCainites scream, but it's only by 4 or 5 points! Four or 5 points is enough to win an election unless it's stolen from the Dumbocrats again--in that case, get ready for 4 more years of sliding down the chute to national hell!
for The Daily Growler
And Finally From The Daily Growler Panel of Financial Advisors...
"We at The Daily Growler advise you to get rid of your stocks, bonds, and cash and start buying land or gold bullion or silver bars--something with, however imaginary, imagined value all over the world--diamonds, too, but that's a pretty dangerous investment--like 9 times out of ten's diamond investing is gonna get you held up, shot at, or out-and-out murdered. So, we'd suggest gold and silver bars--NO to gold coins and stuff, however! Gold watches are good. Gold jewelry--good gold jewelry is good! Nuggets of gold are fine, too." fleecylarue, financial wizard and bologna stuffer!
Posted by The Daily Growler at 3:25 PM