Growlers were jumping for joy this morning in the New York City (America's favorite tourist spot--and the tourists's filthy garbage is strewn all over the streets and the rooftop tour buses are gassing up Fifth Avenue, whose gutters and sidewalks are fouled with tons of trash and thrown-down gum), message texting the office, emailing us from all corners of the tri-state (NY-NJ-CN) area--a lot of Growlers down on the Jersey shore this weekend--Franny & Zoe is out at Coney Island before the seediest amusement park in the USA, Astroland, is shut down for good and Coney Island is turned over to the rich and famous with NYC's billionaire mayor Bloomingidiot rezoning it for hotels and hi-rise luxury apartments--soon the rich and famous (the Donald included big time) will be designating Coney Island as THE new place to wile away all the leisure time they have or to capture another hi-rise penthouse with spectacular views--the rich and famous are taking over our public beach lands, bye the by, or so we hear--so F&Z's out there to check out the scene--ride the Wonder Wheel and the Comet one or two more times--we hope she doesn't get kidnapped by a freak show operator--she is an unusual lady.
Text messages and emails were all making fun of Vietnam Nutjob and Failed-Mission Expert John McCain's choice of Sarah Palin (as in: You Gotta Pal in the White Man's House) as his veep running mate (maternal extension)!
Franny & Zoe tmsg from the F Train: "Sweet Sarah of Alaska is just so charming--and 5 god-damn curtainclimbers hanging onto her, one 4-months-old and one with Downs Syndrome--what's she got a whole tribe of illegal nannies taking care of her children--and the Downs Syndrome child is her child from God who she saved from the abortionist's murderous coathanger (it is Alaska--the abortion doctors don't have vacuum cleaners yet)--and, yes, she is a Christian, a Fundie freak, and she's Pro-Life, except when it comes to blowin' away teenagers in Iraq and Afghanistan or US airstrikes killing 40 or 50 innocent men, women, and children in one of those unnecessary invasions and occupations (always the children get it in war--at least, the US forces are considerate enough to blow away the kids with the parents--a part of George W. Bush's 'No Child Left Behind' policy)--Sarah's for saving the poor helpless fetuses so that they can be nurtured and fattened up for our worthless military's future needs for cannon fodder in the big dumbcluck War on Terrorism, which hasn't stopped Terrerism (I still spell it the way G.W.B. pronounces it--and he's the one who invented this 'war'); in fact, it's increased Terrerism around the world)). Karl Rove is advising McCain--so we see Sweet Sarah of Alaska as a trick to get Conservative women and stupid Dumbocrat women who were so radiated by Hillary Clinton (I mean, Conservative women know Hillary's basically a Conservative woman) they'll now be swayed by Sweet Sarah of Alaska to "come on down" into the basement with The Maverick himself who just met Sarah back in February. I also see a strong resemblance in Sweet Sarah of Alaska to Mike Judge's Mrs. Hank Hill on the King of the Hill tv cartoon show--and she's probably just as dumb, too. Also, check out this: Obama's actually from Hawaii, so Failed-Mission Jawin' John and Karl Rove probably figure Sweet Sarah being from Alaska will counterbalance the off-shore sort-of-foreign-ending up of Obama (Cokie Roberts, Disney tv's Jokie political pundit, referred to Hawaii as a foreign country when Obama took a vacation there recently). So, you're gonna hear a lot of bullshit from Sweet Sarah of Alaska (the woman who's solution to the polar bears invading the homes of the white-invader Alaskans due to global warming which is wiping out their natural habitat on the polar ice cap--and global warming is something Sweet Sarah of Alaska believes is caused by God and not man--so her solution to the polar bear problem is to shoot every one of the sons of bitches--that's what Sweet Jesus of Nazareth would do--I can hear Jesus now, 'Sister Sarah, hand me that Mannlicher over there, I want'a blast some of those fuckin' polar bears back to the Garden of Eden.' I always wondered were there polar bears on the big boat in the Noah's Ark legend that comes out of the desert religions? I've been reading Paul Bowles and just read that essay where Paul discusses the idiosyncrasies of the three desert religions--Judaism, Islam, and Christian-Judaism--I was raised a Jew so I know all about how to survive in a desert. I'm off to Astroland."
From the oldtimer Walter Crackpipe a brisk, fiesty email: "McCain's a Repugnican joke so why not put vice-presidential punchline on the joke? I think McCain shoots blanks like his bombs were blanks when he was shot down over 'Nam--he can't trot out a kid who's not an old man by now so instead he has this Alaskan housewife's kids and joke of a husband to trot around with him all over the USA. I think this fool thinks by picking a good Christian chick from Alaska he's safe in terms of picking up rightwingo and Dumbocrat-racists housewives who don't want a 'Knee-grow' in the White Man's House--unless he's going there as a houseboy or a waiter! McCain's so nutty and has so many arms up his ass pulling his strings, he'll probably blow up before November--from the look of his pale skin, he seems to be now almost on the verge of a brain-blowout similar to the one Uncle Teddy Kennedy recently suffered--'One last Chivas Regal on the rocks, Uncle Teddy?' Yep, you want to bet me: McCain will get shot by his own body out of his blue sky before the election. Oh, it will be a juicy campaign, a lot of wicked racist barbs will be hurled around by Rudi Mussolini and Uncle Joe LIEberman who are heading up the John McCain 'Obama Attack' Committee--our advice to Captain John, 'Call Obama a pigfucker, John. Let him prove he's not a pigfucker.' But then he's got Karl Rove advising him so I imagine Karl's already told him to use the 'Pigfucker Move.' What a bunch of ignorant and very foolish and dangerous white men, Mrs. Palin is just a joke to them, so that's all I've got to say about them. They're all fools and fools will vote for them and since all Americans may be fools, the winner is: President John McCain--even if he loses the popular vote, he'll win the election by stealing the votes in Ohio again--Ohio's still one of the dumbest states in the Union."
Mr. Ed: The Daily Growler is not responsible for the comments of its "reporters, notators, scribblers, diarists, or gurus." There, I'm done.
From--Holy Yipes, Mr. Met, an email:
"Hey, you creeps, John McCain and Mrs. Palin are topnotch folks--just the kind of folks that come to Mets games. And, hey, marvelousmarvbackbiter, you baseball ignoramus, look what your stupid Yankees are doing and then check out my Mets! You haven't been saying much about the great game of baseball this year--plus, you shithead, you haven't mentioned that under a real manager, Manager Jerry Manuel, the Mets are kicking baseball ass--WE'RE in first place--oh no, we lost last night and the god-damn Phillies won?--OK, so Jerry Manuel is not really a red, white, and blue American baseball image like me, he's still a better manager than that black, dichty, arrogant Willie Randolph! You know, the only thing you can criticize me on now is that I don't speak Spanish--you've got me there, pal--sometimes I feel like when I make fun of one of our many Spanish-speaking fans I don't think they catch on to my antics because they can't speak English--like when I called one, just joshing, a pepper-belly the other day, Jesus, I got cussed out good, though it didn't hurt my feelings because I couldn't understand one word those motormouthed bastards were saying. I'm a lot of fun if you can understand me. Your baseball pal, Mr. Met. GO METS!"
Wow, from Mr. Met, who, by the bye, was once a columnist here at The Daily Growler--but we fired his little cute ass because of his belligerence.
An email reply from marvelousmarvbackbiter: "Hey, Mr. Met, you little peckerhead, you better watch your ass or you'll soon be tossed into the foundation of the new CitiBank Stadium, sealed over, and replaced with Senor Met. Adios, Meester Met."
From The Daily HOWLER--an interesting outlook on Obama's campaign:
The times are too serious, the stakes are too high for this same partisan play-book. So let us agree that patriotism has no party. I love this country, and so do you, and so does John McCain.
The men and women who serve in our battlefields may be Democrats and Republicans and independents, but they have fought together, and bled together, and some died together under the same proud flag. They have not served a red America or a blue America; they have served the United States of America.
So I've got news for you, John McCain: We all put our country first.
Returning to the “United States” framework which drove his speech at the 2004 convention, Obama rejected the science of distraction. This science has driven assaults on Big Dems for the past twenty years.
It has made a joke of our discourse.
Obama spoke of patriotism, because that’s the form the assault has been taking as it gets marshaled against him. But this science has taken various forms in those past twenty years. For the most part, Democratic Party officials and “career liberal” “leaders” have responded by looking away.
Do you care to remember this science? Let’s go there:
In 1988, the attack against Dukakis involved issues of patriotism–and even alleged mental illness. Good grief! In September 1988, Charles Krauthammer wrote this in the Post: “George Bush's Pledge of Allegiance shtick, designed to impugn Michael Dukakis' patriotism, is a model of campaign cynicism.” Yes, that was written by Krauthammer! (In August 1988, President Reagan jokingly helped drive the rumor that Dukakis had a mental health problem.)
From 1992 on, the attacks against the Clintons would be endless, inexcusable, ugly–and widely ignored by our cowering “leaders.” Good God! By August 1999, two major cable programs would actually bring Gennifer Flowers on the air to discuss–first for a half-hour, then for an hour–the long list of troubling murders in which both Clintons had played a part. We complained about that–and no one else did. To this day, we have never found evidence that any mainstream journalist said a single word about this astounding misconduct–astounding misconduct on the part of Chris Matthews and Sean Hannity.
By that thing, the law was clear: You could say any g*ddamn thing you pleased–as long as you aimed it at Dems.
In 1999, they started on Gore, reinventing him as the world’s biggest liar. They lied in the public’s face for two years–and Bush ended up in the White House. As all this happened, the cowering children at your “liberal journals” piddled in their pants; averted their gaze; and let the endless deceptions roll on. Again this week, Jonathan Alter told us that Gore never said he invented the Internet. He forgot to tell us why he said different in real time, back when it actually mattered.In 2004, they came for Kerry. After the Swift boat attacks began, Michael Kinsley managed to write one column on the topic–and that piece was whimsical, tongue-in-cheek. (Headline: “The Stiff Drink Vets break their silence.” August 29. 2004. Darlings! So amusing!)
To read the rest of this, here you go: www.dailyhowler.com/index.shtml
Tune In and Out the Rest of This John McCain Sunday--we'll get other reports we're sure.
astaffmember (I have no alias)
for The Daily Growler