On This Day Saith The Lard, "Rabbits Shall Lay Eggs"

Praise the Lard and Pass the Honey and Biscuits
The fables of today we are encouraged to believe are preached as truths by network television in this country, this land of the free, white, and twenty-one and the home of the enslaved brave.

1) We were encouraged to believe today that a lowly Jewish carpenter's son, a little Essene Jewish baby, was actually the son of the "living" God, whoever the hell that is--this is all male shit, as thegrowlingwolf has been spieling since these posts were initiated a year ago. Total male bullshit. Only in a male's mind could conceive of an underage Jewish girl coming home pregnant from a Roman bar and getting away with claiming she was knocked up by the "living" God, again, whoever the hell that is. Did old Joe the Carpenter do some bitchin'? Yes, he did. He said, "You expect me to believe Jehovah, the Poppy of Abe, the Poppy of Jews, knocked you up out in that field behind the Roman Forum Bar and Grill, Ismael the A-rabb's joint?" "Yes, My Poppy. Here feel these young breasts getting full of our son's sustenance; here run your horny old hand over my smooth, ivory skinned, young, taut stomach...oooh, Joe, your old bony fingers turn me on."

So, yeah, today we heard and saw a lot of Holy Men in gowns (did J. Edgar Hoover look like a priest in his women's designer gowns? a little trivia question from the past)--there looks like there's enough room under most of these Holy MEN's gowns (the Holy Women now wear pants; ain't that ironic?) for a couple of altar boys to be meeting the devil and letting the Good Father push him into Hell for a hot while--"Look at the Holy sauce coming out of the Devil, my goodness, it's white as me and you...oops, sorry Little William, you all look the same color under my golden gown." Oooooh, how creepy are men of God?; any God, even Allah's Holy Men are creepy looking. So is the Dalai Lama--and what a piece Holy crap he is. How dare educated people believe this tripe. We can understand yokels, rubes, hillbillies, idiots, frightened children, the extreme superstitious, illiterates, or neurotic women believing it but educated folks?--even if you've only read textbooks in your whole life, textbooks and a Holy book, surely the textbooks help you more than these Holy books. Surely preventive medicine works better than Holy healing? Surely scientific studies of the atmosphere are more scary than the tribulations We Sinners are supposed to suffer during the Great WHITE Throne of Judgment--Judgment Day--the Tribulation. You see, Christianity sprouts from legalistic Judaism; you are constantly judged by these religions. One of the books of their Holy Babble is called Judges. Note it was an adjudication that got Joshua ben Joe of the Nazareth slums nailed up until dead by the Roman governor who was the judge in Josh's trial--"Crucify him," shouted his people. "Give us Barabas and crucify Josh ben Joseph, that phony bastard!"

We do not believe. Though, following the teachings of Jung, we are not atheists either--we are simply human beings, reasoning monkeys, one of whom thinks he's a human-animal hybrid--human-wolf, a Lawrence Talbott copycat--can one call a Wolf a Cat? Sure, man, sure.

2) We are then to believe this crucified Jewish Essene rebel, after he'd "given up the ghost--he was jabbed and poked by Roman spears--testing to see if he was dead and, yep, this dude was dead. So they pulled him down and put him in a borrowed tomb and blah, blah, blah, you know the rest, unless you're Jewish or Hindu or Buddhist or Muslim or Atheist or Agnostic--or unless you really do believe that rabbits lay eggs during the Easter season--funny, too, how all Christian holy days are also ancient Pagan holy days--coincidence? Yeah, sure. Jung says it's us defining our instincts and Sir James Fraser believed all legends are coincidental because they all define the same things--things that begin as animal worship and end up as anthropomorphized "saints" or "swamis" or "shamen" or "hoodoo boogiemen" or "15-armed, elephant-headed Holy Moly abstract whatevers.

3) Thirdly, we are supposed to believe--and according to Pastor Melissa Scott, this is the one you'd better believe or you're on a Greyhound bus with a one-way ticket to hell--or maybe Melissa will lend you one of her Rolls Royces for your trip--and that's that this rebel Essene Jew from Nazareth, Judea, this young rebel, too, who at any one time in his career had at most 20 followers, on the third day after Good Friday--Passover? Was it Passover then? We wonder; don't know the Christian Holier Than Thou book that well--but anyway, this dude when his mother, the dear sweet still virginal Mamma Maria--wasn't his mother declared a virgin by the Catholic prelates back in the Dark Ages? On this third day, which the Christians say was Easter--how'd they know?--were there egg-laying bunnies in Israel at that time? Did those dudes eat chicken eggs? Surely they had fowl. Peacock eggs maybe? Omelettes by Jesus--sounds like a great idea for a Holy recipe book, Praise the Lard and pass the chittlin's, please. Anyway, on Easter, sweet old virginal Mary--she was what 50 years old by then, and women were pretty worn and used up by then in those days, right? I mean she didn't look like no virgin; let's put it that way--but anyway, Sweet Old Mary went to her son's tomb, I suppose she was bringing a peck of lilies or something to put on his tomb--or in it since that's where flowers were needed in those days--the stink, you dig? And when Sweet Old Mary got to the tomb, son of a bitch, the tomb door was wide open and there was a gargoyle sitting alive on the top of the tomb and that gargoyle told Sweet Old Mary that her son, Josh, wasn't there anymore. Son of a bitch, Mary thought, by God, that lad was the Messiah afterall; that little bastard. "Hey, Swedish Angel, you sure my boy's body's not in there?" "I can't lie, babe...er-ah, say, didn't I meet you one night in the Roman Forum Bar and Grill back in the early days of Herod?" "Please, stick to the question...where's my boy?" "Who the hell knows--these Roman bozos got drunk as Lards...look at their smary asses...passed totally out...and on Mogen David, too. Cripes!" Yep, Joshua ben Joseph was gone from the tomb. Stolen body? Who'd want it? Never dead? Bribed the Roman idiots and buried a pig in place of Josh in that tomb?

We here at The Daily Growler just can't believe it. We're too god-damn educated, we guess. Yep, like the yokel fundaMENTALists say, we were ruined by that old human secularism, that that puts humans ahead of gods.

But Amuricans are fools basically. Look how they so easily are robbed blind of their stupid monies throughout their lives. Look how now everyone who's crooked as a snake at night are succeeding at the expense of stupid Amuricans, those fools who make up the human backbone of this country. FOOLS! Only fools in 2007 still believe such ancient tales depict truth and exact guidance through this the DEVIL's world--who the Deuce is this Devil anyway? Oh, that's right, he's Lucifer, the prettiest boy ever under God's ornate robes. Sorry, folks, if God isn't a pederast, then why are his priests so determined pederasty is a sacred way for them to cast the demon penis into the pits of innocent hell--or how about their doing good by sucking the evil out of innocent boys's...oh, this is getting too utterly stupid for even us to parody. Blasphemy is only allowed by the pig-jowled high-priest hillbillies of the fundamentalist yahoo megachurches--all packed with impotent human fools--Blasphemy is not allowed by so religious a blog as The Daily Growler. Amen. Selah...and all such Roger and out religious nonsense.

Such sickness seems incurable. As Marx declared religions the opiate of the people, they still are. Hypnosis and the use of suggestion and drugs and potions and more suggestions...F religions. Look what they have given us? They've taken our sights off the fact that this Earth is our only paradise. Blindly we go about destroying our only paradise. We're fighting against it; we're determined to destroy it. Here comes Freud again--Freud with his death wish theories.

thestaff
for The Daily Growler
Volume II Number 2

Easter in Iraq: Praise the Lard and Pass That Little Towelhead Babe to Me:

U.S., Iraqi troops fight Shiite militia

By STEVEN R. HURST, Associated Press Writer Sat Apr 7, 7:59 PM ET

BAGHDAD - U.S. warplanes blasted a militia team firing rocket-propelled grenades Saturday, the second day of heavy fighting in a major offensive to drive Shiite Mahdi Army militiamen out of Diwaniyah, a farm-belt city south of Baghdad.

North of the capital, in the increasingly dangerous Diyala provincial capital of Baqouba, police reported finding 21 more bodies dumped in the streets, victims of the intense sectarian warfare. All were shot execution-style and many had been tortured. At least 62 bodies have been found in or near Baqouba since Tuesday.

At least 64 people were killed or found dead across Iraq on Saturday in the eighth week of the U.S.-Iraqi security crackdown on the capital and surrounding cities and towns.