From the Languid Shores of Lake Flaccid, New York, Comes the The Daily Growler Jots & Tittles Man, Barabbas Munn-Dayne
And a teetering good whatever to you and yours from the salty shores of leaky Lake Flaccid, New York, in the asshole of the Adirondacks. Life up here goes on as usual. It is good for those who are upwind from our poisoned lake--those downwind in the town of Lake Flaccid are all sitting around Mel's Cracker Store as though still in a hibernation mode after a long dull filmy winter around here.
Cecil the Dog-faced Boy III? We've still not heard hide nor hair (not a kind pun) from him. We assume he's dead. That's right. Even his chauffeur hasn't been seen for months and his log mansion is boarded up with huge panels of plywood over the windows and his driveway is blocked by a big campaign sign for Mayor Jerry Purim who is running unopposed for his 10th 2-year term as Mayor of Lake Flaccid. The mayor's job has no salary. It's simply an honorary title. Jerry was our first mayor so why not as long as he can stand living at the farty end of the lake, we keep electing him mayor--all you have to do is write his name on a piece of paper and sign it and drop it off at Jerry's office in the post-office-jail combination. Yes, Jerry is also the town sheriff and postmaster--though I get my mail delivered by Chief Lawrence "Mule Deer Caught in Headlights" Schmello who works out of the Saranac Lake post office. In fact, for as long as I've lived here, I've never been in the post office part of the jail--Cecil told me he went in there one time to buy a stamp and Jerry had none--he said the post office boxes were fruit crates stacked just under the gun rack, though there was no mail in them that he could see--just as there were no guns in the gun rack.
Jots & Tittles
---Florida cracker preacher burns Koran: The idiocy of this Florida goon-cracker-Neanderthal preacher, Terry Jones (his mother spent weeks thinking up his last name), burned a Koran (at least that's what he said it was--isn't even buying a Koran to burn a mortal sin under his revengeful God?). In retaliation, in Afghanistan, Afghanistan Islams stormed a UN camp and randomly shot a bunch of people--foreigners, occupiers. What a bunch of total wackos Christians are--White Christians that is--White Amerikan Christians that is. Dumbasses all of them. Praying to a big pie in the sky. What an inane thing to do. I still don't understand why the White Gentiles see so easily that Jesus Christ is their messiah when the Jews don't even remember who the hell Jesus Christ was--he's not in their history! There's no record in Jewish records or Roman records of Jesus Christ ever existing--yes, there were Jewish reformers in those days everywhere--especially the Essene branch of Judaism, of which, supposedly, though again there's no proof, Jesus was a practitioner. The fictional Jesus of the New Testament (a totally Christian-invented series of pamphlets--you could hardly call them "books," most written hundreds of years after Jesus supposedly lived and taught) never rejected his Judaism--he remained faithful to the Sabbath, the Jewish festivals and ceremonies, and Yom Kippur, and those holier-than-thou days.
Ignorance is BLISS!
---How are the Haitians doing? You'll have one hell of a time trying to find out from our vaunted press. Not one mention ever on NY's various teevee news shows (and that's what they are, simply television shows) of how the Haitians are doing, or how their rebuilding is coming along, and nothing of Aristide's return to Haiti. I mean, Jesus Christ, 300,000 Haitians died in that earthquake (more than have so far died in the Japan disasters (one still waiting to happen--breached core of one now leaking radiated water into the Pacific Ocean). They've not rebuilt much housing down there yet. There is no revitalization program going on in terms of growing food, restoring the forests (Haitians cut down 95% of all the trees that once blanketed Haiti for firewood and to make into charcoal to cook with)--and President Obama what's his spin on our leaving Haiti blown apart; has he even been to Haiti? He certainly hasn't mentioned Aristide returning. And where the hell are Slick Willie and G.W. "Baby" Bush, Obama's appointed US-advisers to Haiti? Slick Willie's out continuing to amass a huge fortune--this Arkansas hillbilly boy who as Governor of Arkansas earned $30,000-a-year is now estimated to be worth 200 million dollars! Can you imagine! And does he pay full taxes on that amount? Hell no. He don't pay no taxes (like "We don' need no badges"). Loophole-loving bastards! And We the People can't tax our wealthy or they'll leave the country and we'll lose whatever taxes they do pay. Big deal. Let them move. Let them move to Monaco. Let them move to Dubai (Dubai is currently bankrupt by the way). Let them move to Hong Kong. Yeah sure. I can just see Donald Trump living in the Arab Emirates. Donald Trump, now pretending to run for president, bad mouthing President Obama by saying he has no US birth certificate! Donald Trump, if he becomes president, will turn the White Man's House into a hi-rise luxury condo building--you know, put a Trump City tower over the slave-built house--rename Washington, Trump, District of Corruption. Why not? Donald Trump and his current wife--let her be Vice-president. I'm sure she's seen a lot of vice in her lucky fucking life. I crow in the face of so low-life-a-commoner as Donald Trump (the "rump" part of his name being the significant part of it--T Rump).
--Teabaggers (our style demands we call Tea Party members Teabaggers--they are squatting over We the People's faces demanding we suck on their balls--even their women have balls don't forget) are on the rampage as they spout out bullshit about the mandate they were given in the 2010 elections that will enable them to put our Unions and our working class in jeopardy with the hopes of eventually outlawing Unions and forcing the working class to take wage cuts, deny them any benefits, deny them workplace safety, deny them vacation time, subject them to uncontrolled and unpaid overtime--FUCK the American Working class they are bellowing, a class none of these pampered spoiled brats and old fart codgers know anything about--most of these crap-master bastards are out of the same whore's womb. Obama's response to these political clowns is to bend over backwards to them in an effort to compromise his way into another run for this job that has now made him and his wife and daughters set for life. The campaign for 2012 is beginning already and Obama is attempting to raise 1 Billion dollars for his part in this dumbass election in which the dumbasses will elect our next dumbass president. Already this coming presidential campaign is being sold as the most expensive political campaign in World history. The American Dream has actually come true for Brother Obama, like it came true for Bill and Hillary and Chelsea (though poor Chelsea must be a bitch with a tendency to gain weight especially in the wide-load hips since her worthless husband is already getting tired of her bitching and her evidently lame-lax style in making love--"Hey, hon, let's get a divorce," he's hollering as he's masturbating in the bathroom to a photo of maybe his mother. God I can be so fucking cruel, can't I? And these are supposed to be "Jots & Tittles"--vignettes rather than long, going off the edge of the world, expletive examinations of our most worthless, richest, and most parasitical of Americans).
---Did you know: Gisele Bundchen, a fucking (maybe not actually fucking--models can't afford to get knocked up--though she did diddle around with Leonardo deCaprio and eventually she married Tom Brady the NE Patriots quarterback (they got beat by the New York (New Jersey) Jets in the AFL playoffs this year--how embarrassing for poor model-burdened Tom) long-limbed blonde Brazilian model (that umlaut over the U in Bundchen may mean she's the relative of a Nazi murderer who escaped to Brazil (with Dr. Mengele maybe?) after WWII) gave 1.5 million dollars to Haitian aid? Gisele was discovered when she was 14! Wow, how horny those god-damn advertising impresarios were to get a hot 14-year-old Brazilian moppet into their racket--and oh my god those Hollywood and AFL creepy types like Leonardo deCaprio who hang around the runways during fashion season (Japan's fashion season had to be canceled this season--ooohh the shame of it--but then even supermodels aren't immune from radiation poisons) looking for babes to be seen with as they make their constant "appearances" in the superchic places around the world. From 14 years old, Gisele went on to become a Victoria's Secret underwear model, eventually ending up worth 150 million bucks!--and that ain't Brazilian money either, folks--the highest paid model in the business. The American Dream came true for Giselle--and she's not even a norteamericano--una Gringa.
---Baseball season is open. And from old Growler pal, L Hat (www.languagehat.com), the best Mets song ever--mbtn.net/we-want-hit. The Mets are under new management, in the office and on the field, though the team is basically still the second-division team that Jerry Manuel couldn't make winners out of--so Jerry got the boot and now the Mets manager is...damned if I can remember his name. The Yankees? Hank Steinbrenner, the worthless son of worthless son George Steinbrenner (he wrecked his father's Great Lakes shipping business), is already fucking with players on the team, especially Derek Jeter. He has dreams of dumping Jeter as being over the hill (like his father ruined the successful baseball careers of Bucky Dent and Bernie Williams--and also drove Butch Winegar to a state of mental depression). The Yankees may not be as invincible as they think they are this year--Detroit, Boston, and the Oakland A's look good this year--and there's always the troublesome Tampa Bay ex-Devil Rays, now the Christian Rays--all covered with good BP oil, we assume. Question: where the hell is the Growler sports expert marvelousmarvbackbiter?
--I'm sitting on my screened porch listening to Jimmy Reed's At Carnegie Hall Veejay CD--such wonderful music, though the album is a famous fake. Jimmy never played Carnegie Hall--and this Carnegie Hall he's playing at on this album is the Veejay studios in Chicago. Another famous phony album was Oscar Peterson's famous At the Concertebouw Verve LP (now out on CD) that was recorded at Los Angeles's Olympia Auditorium and not the Amsterdam concert hall. I often have wondered how many of those "live" albums were really "live" where they said they were--or were they simply studio recordings with audience applause edited into them? Deceit is so sweet when it works.
---WAR...It seems to me that our worthless politicians are determined to get us involved in World War III, advertised as our first nuclear war! President Obama seemed determined to get us involved in this Libyan mess--but, believe it or not, G.W. Bush's worthless military goon, Robert Gates, has advised against getting involved in this one. He knows our military is stressed out, overused, abused, crippled, and we're running out of fossil fuels that keep the USA military juggernaut flying and motoring around to every conflict in the world--we're broke, running our military on borrowed money--money borrowed from the Chinese Communists. Our economy is now a war economy. Keynes said it was alright to deficit spend in hard times; yet, Keynes, yes he was Gay, is now considered a perverted economist in favor of Milton Friedman, an Austrian-type (Calvinistic) economist who loved Pinochet...oh well, what's the use of undressing these perverted thinkers when the people who love and adore them see them wearing clothes no matter how nakedly pathetic they are revealed. Hey, let's sit back and enjoy the wars--while listening to some Jimmy Reed "back home" (Mississippi & Chicago) music, some truly wonderful American music--music from our deepest souls, from the souls of a people who were brought here against their wills and who have managed to survive in the Social Darwinian way better than their oppressing White brothers and sisters. And by the bye, for you Sociology fans (our Wolf Man is a Sociologist), Darwin didn't mention the survival of the fittest--that was the Brit Sociologist Herbert Spencer who came up with that. He's the so-called inventor of Social Darwinism. (Read Richard Hoffstater's famous book on the subject, Social Darwinism in American Thought, 1860–1915 . Also his Age of Reform is a revealing book.)
---Here's an excerpt from Richard Hoffstater's "The Paranoid Style of American Politics," published in Harper's Magazine [before Rupert Murdoch bought it] in November 1964:
American politics has often been an arena for angry minds. In recent years we have seen angry minds at work mainly among extreme right-wingers, who have now demonstrated in the Goldwater movement how much political leverage can be got out of the animosities and passions of a small minority. But behind this I believe there is a style of mind that is far from new and that is not necessarily right-wing. I call it the paranoid style simply because no other word adequately evokes the sense of heated exaggeration, suspiciousness, and conspiratorial fantasy that I have in mind. In using the expression “paranoid style” I am not speaking in a clinical sense, but borrowing a clinical term for other purposes. I have neither the competence nor the desire to classify any figures of the past or present as certifiable lunatics. In fact, the idea of the paranoid style as a force in politics would have little contemporary relevance or historical value if it were applied only to men with profoundly disturbed minds. It is the use of paranoid modes of expression by more or less normal people that makes the phenomenon significant.
---Did you see where NASDAQ is trying to buy the New York Stock Exchange? And whatever happened to the American Stock Exchange? AMEX?
---As I leave you, Jimmy Reed is singing, "I'm all dressed up and I got no place to go." That's sort of how I feel right now.
for The Daily Growler Saturday Evening Post (posted on an afternoon)
A The Daily Growler WARNING: Check out this Teabagger asshole--another idiot from the cheesehead state of Wisconsin:
Born in 1970, Paul's daddy was in the construction business in Janesville in the State of Cheesehead. Pretty Paul attended the playboy-playgirl University of South Beach (known as the University of Miami) where he graduated with a law degree. He rose to political fame as a speech writer for drug czar and total asshole Bill Bennett--remember him? Paul Krugman says this fool's budget will put us 1 trillion bucks in the hole due to the enormous tax cuts it gives to the richest of us--which must include Paul's parents, don't you think, and probably Paul, too; I'm sure he's managed to network himself into the millionaire's club at least--remember, taxing the rich means taxing every worthless son of a bitch in Congress and our own President--and our ex-Presidents, too, Slick Willie "Big Dog" Clinton now said to be worth 200 million dollars. "How sweet it is," Jackie Gleason used to wink at us and declare, meaning you peasants watching my fucking dumbass teevee shows are making me fucking rich beyond my dreams--and subtexting: "...and you people will never really know HOW SWEET IT IS!" Jackie Gleason, a hard-drinking chain smoker, died of cancer.
Paul Ryan, by the way, is NOT cutting Congress's salaries or the President's salary--oh no! Paul, by the way, also, has never had to work a fucking day in his life, unless you consider politicians and rich people's children working class.