Sunday, November 18, 2007

Bored

Bored By the Boring
We were all sleazing around in the magnificent new The Daily Growler offices, 1 mile deep in an abandoned salt mine near Grand Saline, Texas...

Beany Boy, a 55-year-old actor, who's still playing his boring "Beany Boy" routine every X-mas--a play he composed featuring a drunken Mr. Claus and a bunch of rowdy elves who get out of control trying to get an overbloated sot of a Santa shoved in through a window--blah, blah, blah--how boring, right? And even Beany Boy is bored with himself tonight, though the trooper in him won't let him shut up.

thegrowlingwolf has passed out after trying to watch this gospel rave Kurt Franklin once again proving how brilliant but boring his music is on this music-award-type teevee show that is hosted by Jimmy Kimmel who's boring as hell and this show is about as boring as television can get--even more boring to us than teevee weather reports. All the performers on this teevee award show were so boring, yet they are all so successfully keen and well-suited with tons of beautiful equipment and in perfect pitch and harmony (are they lip-syncing?) and a couple of blondes wailing away in screech but perfect screech, but they were still oh-so boring, so boring the Wolf Man just waffled out on the floor and is snoring sonorously away--or is that a form of subconscious growling? Like a dog kicking wildly about during a huge dogmare!

thedailygrowlerhousepianist is off doing his church gig--it pays the bills. Since he's been doing his church gig we don't see him around The Daily Growler lovely opened-air offices in an abandoned forest fire lookout tower lost back in the deepest depths of the Adirondacks anymore--though he was seen last night getting bombed with thegrowlingwolf at an uptown Irish joint--unlike Kurt Franklin, being a church music director hasn't made thedailygrowlerhousepianist boring yet--though perhaps he may be thinking The Daily Growler itself may be getting boring--is that why he's not hanging around here much anymore?

"Will someone gag Beany Boy. I can't stand to hear that same damn drunken Santa soliloquy one more time; I'm gonna kill that little half-a-motherfucker." Shouts Franny & Zoe our two-headed girl reporter. By the way, girl, when you gonna write somethin' of value for us? We jest of course--always finding when we're super bored, teasing Franny & Zoe is fun--and also very sexual, we might add--lasciviously--proving two heads are better than one.

The news is boring. Politicians are boring--double boring. Same old same old over and over in the same old boring voices and boring appeal and boring stance--F 'em all. thegrowlingwolf's female double says the Wolf Man has no cojones because he sometimes uses "F-ing" or "MF-er" instead of just outright using "fucking" or "Motherfucker"--she bares her fangs and calls the Wolf Man BORING (as boring as euphemisms).

Gawd, how boring all this is.

Aldous Huxley:

Your true traveller finds boredom rather agreeable than painful. It is the symbol of his liberty - his excessive freedom. He accepts his boredom, when it comes, not merely philosophically, but almost with pleasure.

George Bush:

What's wrong with being a boring kind of guy?

Soren Kierkegaard:

Since boredom advances and boredom is the root of all evil, no wonder, then, that the world goes backwards, that evil spreads. This can be traced back to the very beginning of the world. The gods were bored; therefore they created human beings.



theboredtotearsstaff

for The Daily Growler

3 comments:

Marybeth said...

I'm coming home for my birthday, which falls on the day after Thanksgiving this year, as it did the day I was born, the first day of Sagittarius, on the cusp, galloping away from the lowly Scorpion with an arrow aimed for the heavens. "You're a fire sign on the cusp, just like me. That's why I like you so much." So said one Matthew, wild-assed drummer boy, to me, back in the day. He liked me so much, once upon a time. I liked him so much too. Home, by the way, is New York City. Sooo, thewomantrumpetplayer wonders if thegrowlingwolf is the least bit inclined toward meeting his "public", as it were. I'll be prancing around lower Manhattan with my Berkeley Public Library copy of "Let It Blurt" under my arm. I'll be suspicious of every 5'10" guy in trendy red and blue kangaroo skin sneaks, who looks like he might have weighed 165 lbs in 1962. There's all sorts of shit that I would tell you face to face about Matty and crowd that I wouldn't put in a post.

Marybeth said...

Why didn't you post my comment? Are you mad at me? Or didn't you get it? It was about being in NYC for my birthday which was yesterday.

The Daily Growler said...

I don't know how to apologize.
My problem deals with my identity. Who the hell am I, womantrumpetplayer? I think therefore I know not. I am neurotic; I've admitted that. However, I haven't admitted I'm schizophrenic and have so many identities...but you don't want to hear excuses...

or, How about, I can't be in two places at once--to which my brain is already challenging me to a 'Why not?'--an attitude I face daily from my many personalities...

I usually escape to my beloved Davenport, Iowa, when I'm disgusted with my societal encampment...

But not this time--I live for Irony don't forget--this time found me wallowing in a cesspool of Commie Chinese bird-flu brand turkey meat cooked for me by a tinhorn Merle-Haggard-imitation guitar player and sculptor--no, and I haven't either seen any of Merle Haggard's sculptures...

Drinking beers...ugh...but we hillbillyed all the way over to Bakersfield.

Have you ever been to Barstow? At LA's asshole...

I find you fascinating womantrumpetplayer but if I met you--

I was forced into writing on the Growler blog by an unmerciless bunch of conivving friends, some of whom have claims on me...have copyrighted my ass...

Does this make sense to you?--you are good at reading between lines aren't you? Oh to be able to write to where all meaning is between the lines!

I like a true wolf avoid as many human beings (my downfall just like they are yours) as possible and I do a good job of it though if you know where I'm at in Manhattan and see me there and know it's me, I'm very friendly--most people, however, never get to that point...

Again, I like knowing you as the womantrumpetplayer...that's the reality I dig being in.

thegrowlingwolf