"Greetings From Lake Flaccid, New York"
It's Barabbas Munn-Dayne the The Daily Growler Jots & Tittles Man
Are ducks dumb? [A Goose! I didn't think geese were as dumb as ducks.] Are humans dumb? Who is the dumbest in the above "Portrait of a Duck/Goose" swimming merrily in flaccid Lake Flaccid (there's acid in that name)? The damned duck or the humans who polluted the lake? The duck's (goose's) dumb in that he trusts his instincts. Humans are dumb because they are instinctively led animals and don't know it. "Only the dumb and ignorant shall enter the Kingdom of Heaven," isn't that what it says in the Christian Holy Bible? 'Scuse my ignorance of most of the holiest of scriptures. [And speaking of "most" and how you "interpret" it in linguistic terms (in terms of translating), I highly advise you to trip over to Growler pal (our Noam Chomsky) L Hat's post of yesterday (August 3):
As a further aside at this point, I must mention that Joe Baegeant is bragging on his recent post about being in a film with dear old Noam--but that's a political brag since I don't think Joe cares anything about Noam as a linguist, though, if you want to know how L Hat and his Linguist pals converse about Chomsky, translating, the measurable value of most in the statement "most of the beach is contaminated"--like does that mean "a little more than half"? If you want to experience Life amongst the Linguists of the world--check out L Hat's chipper post--we say, "he's most chipper this mornin', isn't he" up here. Also, I pose the old be-bopper use of most in "I dig you the most." I mean when a bopster told that to his woman, he meant more than a little more than half--he meant he "dug her as deep as he could dig" to the max, to "the most." But, I know, that's a different kind of "most"--as in hostess with the mostess.]
I've been up in Prince Edward Island, just up north of me in Canada. I know a little something about repairing steam locomotives and they've got one up there on Prince Edward that had some boiler leaks I was able to repair fairly easily. Yes, I am a Jolly Tinker, though I don't hail from France.
I was gone from Lake Flaccid for 6 whole weeks. Stayed up there with Commander I. Stan Pecker and his lovely wife, Constipathia, at their charming cottage--it's the cottage the Commander was born in back in Surrey, England. He had it shipped over here lock, stock, and barrel in the 1960s when he bought the property up there on Prince Edward. He's added on to it, keeping in the Surrey style, and now that original 5-room cottage is about 17 rooms in the big house, plus a 15-room dormitory out back that houses the boys and girls who attend the Commander's sailing school every spring.
We sat around the coal fire (even though it was in the 70s outside--into the 80s during the day, hot as hell--the Commander insisted on a coal fire), smoking our pipes, yacking deep into the nights--tea served at midnight by Constipathia--then she gave us a Shakespeare reading, from King Lear, Cordelia's lines--then "Off to bed with us now," the Commander ordered when he thought it time for retirement. When he and Constipathia were drunk enough, I bickeringly thought as I watched him rising from his easy chair with much creaking and popping of joints and lower-gut groanings, wobbly, and then shuffling off down the long hallway leading back to his huge master bedroom. The old chap must be 90. Then Constipathia flits over and gives me a kiss on the lips--and she smells divine. I have no idea how old this woman is. She's got to be old--she's been married to the Commander I'm sure I heard him say 45 years--though she is still a lovely willowy tall and willowy moving haunting sort of good looking woman. She's kept her youth well. The Commander brags (rich people call it joking) that he spends $20,000-a-year sending her to Zurich for lamb placenta injections. They must work. He says "she's older than she looks by a couple of long shots," though she won't talk about her age. She'll sternly tell you, "Age to me is a term relegated to the mellowing of wine--and I do love my wine mellowed." And yes she did love her wine, let me tell you. And the Commander surely loved his single-malt Scotch, too. But for a 75-year-old woman, something's kept her looking pretty damn good. I still can't believe she's that old. I even caught myself...well, er-ah, I'd better not reveal that just yet.
But Holy Now, I'm back in my cabin on the shores of Lake Flaccid. Temperatures I'm told got up over 100 while I was off on Prince Edward Island. The smell from the lake got so bad the city council started investigating the possibility of putting up some kind of huge blow-fan system at the south end of the lake that would perhaps blow that stench back up toward Saranac Lake. Nothing came of the idea when the temperature came back down into the high 70s and the stench became more familiar and thereby more tolerable to the brave residents of the village.
I hadn't seen nor heard from Cecil the Dog Face Boy III since I returned but then Sealbutt Harris's boy, Stygel, delivered me some can goods and told me Cecil had been out walking his dog one night when his hood got somehow turned sideways to where he couldn't see and the dog, a big brute of a dog, pulled Cecil out into the middle of Route 3, and it was dark as Satan's lowest pit of Hell--and, while we're on the subject, what the hell was Cecil doing walking his dog, Chinga's the dog's name, over by Route 3 after dark anyway? But, the result was, it seems Fertie Woodooze was out testing his home-made automobile, the Hunkajunk 8, and he accidentally ran Cecil down. It definitely was an accident, Stygel said, since everybody in Lake Flaccid knows Fertie's been testing that car out every night up and down Route 3 since and they say long before I've been living here. Stygel said a Medovac helicopter came and sling-shotted Cecil off into the night sky though where they had taken him, Stygel didn't know.
That news kind'a shook me up a bit. I've no way of finding out if Cecil's OK. His sister? Barbara? And me? It looked good for a while but she's down in Florida and wouldn't you know it, she's met a guy in the Air Force down there and, well, you know how it goes. But I may call her anyway and check on Cecil. His house is all boarded up and there's neither hide nor hair of life around the place--and the car's missing--so I assume the chauffeur's gone back to New York City.
Oh well. It's good to be back home. The scene like the winds is always changing up here in Lake Flaccid.
Jots & Tittles
--First off, a new poem from thedailygrowlerpoetlaureate, Elmer Snowedin, this one postmarked "Beaver Crossing, Nebraska":
A Naked Girl Sitting on the Edge of a White Bed
A naked girl sitting on the edge of a
White bed, sheeted in silk allurement
Laid back, extremely open,
A calling, a response, begging for a conclusion.
Hello, what are you doing tonight?
Bed glowing white in silk invitation.
How many loves sing forth from
The love hymns of its past,
Calling, responding, needing concluding.
Come in, you look lovely. All of you.
She rolling on white silk seas,
Love's labor never lost on these seas,
Following the calling, the long response,
And finally the sing-song conclusion.
A nude girl sitting on the edge of a
Spoiled white bed....
--How mug-ugly is Chelsea Clinton What's Her Name Now? My God! That half-a-million dollar wedding gown didn't improve on that rather horsey face. And Hillary. My God, she's bulging further out hipwise every day. She looks agitated. It's hard for her and Willie to smile and when they do smile, it looks so painful for them. They tried to look like home folks down in Rhinebeck (a lot of old artsy-fartsy swells established in Rhinebeck), even though Hillary was badly (not nattily at all) wearing her Oscar de la Renta gown that probably cost you and me a small fortune (oh, you don't think We the People are paying for that wedding?). And is it true Chelsea's new hubby's father is doing some hard time for financial fraud or something? Don't worry, when he gets out of prison, President Obama will hire him as an economic consultant.
--President Obama and We the People getting out of Iraq...the Iraqis wish we were getting out of Iraq but we're not. Obama in a speech before the Disabled Americans (oh, brave fools that thou were) said, Praise the Lord, he was fulfilling his election promise and pulling our troops out of Iraq by the end of the month. Why, shucks, he's bringing 70,000 of those war-worn-and-mind-messed-up overtrained killers home...and blah, blah, blah on until he came to his final hoorah--praising himself. OK, he's doing nothing more than George W. Bush was planning to do right before he left office--that was his and General Petraeus's new uptake on Iraq--declare the fabulous Surge successful and then pull our troops out by the end of some August and bring them home. G.W. Bush, after he'd rid himself of the Afghanistan mess by declaring it a NATO war, was ballyhooing about how the Surge had made it possible for his jerk-off Pentagon goons (we still have them controlling our "war" efforts--same bunch of military geeks) to turn Iraq over to its democratically elected democratic government. Let that mess of US puppets and ex-CIA/Bath stoolies takeover Iraq's rule and let its own fantastic US-Blackwater-Triple-Canopy-Dimecorp-Raytheon-trained police force and its mighty, mostly ex-Bathites, Iraqi armed forces take over policing the country and protecting it from al-Queda, the evil Iran, the Kurds, the Islamic factions at war among its own people, and probably the squeamish Turks, who once possessed all of that territory back in the days of the Holy Ottoman Empire. Rather than--as the Wolf Man suggested in the Growler a few posts back--imploding that Green Zone, the world's largest embassy--hell, it's world history's largest embassy, and going into that space and building decent housing for the millions of Iraqis who have been displaced or exiled because of this illegal and immoral (if you have morals) war of illegal invasion and occupation. Plus, remember, as the Growler told you a couple of posts back, Hillary has asked for appropriations (money) enough so she can hire her own private army to guard that wasteful and evil (if you're religious) Green Zone. A 7,000-man army. Yes, she wants 7,000 "security" troops to guard the world's largest and costliest embassy. Hillary is asking for armored vehicles, high-tech surveillance equipment (infra-red cameras and heat-seeker devices and drones and, shit), her own airplanes. And Hillary when she ran for president said when she became president she'd immediately fire Blackwater; in fact, dammit, Hillary, and she put her foot down here, was gonna fire all private armies and security and protection forces...blah, blah, blah.
And, I hate being cynical, but hasn't President Obama promised those 70,000 poor war-weary post-dramatically-stressed soldiers he's "bringing home" from Iraq to General Petraeus and his New Surge Way of Winning an Unwinable War in Afghanistan?--General McCrystal wanted more troops; General Petraeus wants more troops; generals always want more troops. "The reason we are having problems in Vietnam," General Westmoreland proudly stated, his chest puffed out making salient his many medals, "is because Congress won't send us anymore human fodder for our cannons--we need more young fool soldiers--a hunderd-thousand more and more and more." By the way, no one really knows what the hell all those medals mean on every General's chest--even in those rare times of peace we've had generals continue to give themselves medals--I think the Army makes up medals--"Hey, boys, General Petraeus needs another medal--quick, come up with something with a lot of gold stars on red, white, and blue ribbons to match his other medals. Let's see, call it the 'Gold Star Ribbon for Valor in Taking Over for a Fired General While Still Under Fire.' We'll give him this new medal at a banquet at the Ritz in Paris--bring the wives or the mistresses--Bud Light Lime beers are on General McCrystal and his wife."
--And Thank the Lord again for getting Lindsay Lohan out of jail.... My God, I was so concerned as long as poor hapless Lindsay was suffering in jail...and having to wear those awful and totally unfashionable L.A. jail jumpsuits. "They're so baggy," Lindsay was heard saying, "can you even see any of my fabulous ass in these droll things?" But a kind and humanitarian judge let Lindsay out of the calaboose (on bail--after all, Lindsay is RICH) as long as she goes to rehab. Some celebrity rehab center we assume. Didn't Lindsay's nutjob daddy do some serious crime time in the L.A. jail? It runs in the family, folks.
--And by the bye, How's the Juice doin' doin' his jail time in Nevada? The Juice totally out of the news these days. How about a jailed celebrity reality show? OJ, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Robert Blake (sorry, Robert, you were exonerated--but then so was the Juice), Phil Spector...hey, I think I'm on to something here--is Wesley Snipes out yet? "The Jailed Celebrity Reality Show." Starring...who can we get to host it. A Brit? Or better yet, how 'bout getting Lady GaGa to host it? Wow. I'm amusing myself.
--And speaking of Lady GaGa. I came across a worship service on itzallahustle preaching on her Ladyship and the many meanings deeply buried in the subconscious mind of her GaGaship revealed in her "new" "music" video "Alejandro." Seems Lady GaGa has taken a page out of Sinead O'Connor's antiPapal-Catholicism (poor little Irish Catholic schoolgirl) performance art--remember when Sinead shaved her head and wore sackcloth and admitted to maybe doin' some Lesbianism on her side?--oh well. I'm becoming a gossip columnist. And, by golly, I wouldn't mind being a gossip columnist. I'd want to be like Jimmy Fiddler. Anybody remember him?
--MIRACLE of MIRACLES, Our Lord and Savior, British Petroleum, has announced their latest trial-and-error effort to plug that little oil leak they caused in the Gulf of Mexico is SUCCESSFUL. Leak stopped. No more oil leaking out. Praise BP and surely it is now CEO-ed by God the Holy Father himself. And is this a legitimate miracle? The Nazi Pope is nodding his head yes--white smoke is coming out his ears. This means for the first time in the Papal history of bestowing sainthoods, a corporation, British Petroleum, has a chance to become a saint, Saint...let's see, what Holy Name would fit BP?
--ANOTHER MIRACLE of MIRACLES, Our Lord and Savior Government, via a Government spokesperson, is declaring that not only is the leak plugged for good but, by golly, you know all that oil that leaked out of that gushing hole?--60,000 barrels-a-day for how many days? Several weeks now?...all of that oil?--this Government spokesperson has announced--let's hear some trumpets--that all of that OIL IS NOW GONE! Did you hear that? All of those thousands upon thousands of barrels of oil that spilled out of BP's faultily drilled well and Halliburton's shoddily constructed and set concrete collar seal that broke and caused the original SPILL (not leak) have suddenly--and praise some god, because only the supernatural could pull this off--disappeared! All that OIL has either evaporated or been dispersed successfully by BP's fabulous dispersants, this spokesperson reported. Case closed. BP will now be rewarded with billions of "too-big-to-fail" damage bucks and new-contract bucks by the Obama Administration in appreciation for BP's vallant effort at miraculously sealing closed with (who'd a guessed) MUD this major fuck up. Soon it will be OK for BP to go back to drill, drill, drilling the Holey Hell out of the earth's thin skin and oil-protected innards.
--Obama Announces--No matter what side of the Iraq War we were on, we MUST now honor these poor old nerve-wrecked and high-strung fool volunteer soldiers when they get home from Iraq--with a lot of "Thank God for these freedom fighters" baloney and utter bullshit. These men and women (boys and girls) sign up with the Army, make a contract with the military when they join it--they get a salary for doing their jobs--which is "KILL or BE KILLED." We must give them medals and honors...oh shit. It's an expression of guilt for having committed so many of these poor directionless bastards to these "live-or-die" war situations that have now killed way over 5,000 of these stupid young asses, young lives sacrificed (for what?) in these two totally illegal and immoral "WARS," these two politically induced wars--but especially this illegal and immoral (if you're moral) war in which these soldiers and their privatized brothers and sisters managed to destroy totally an already half-destroyed city of millions; managed to drive the Iraq economy below what it had been under Saddam Hussein (the Neo-Con method of leveling the playing field in our favor); managed to drive 2 million Iraqis from their homes and into exile in Syria and Jordan, two nations that hate their asses; managed to kill hundreds of thousands of innocent Iraqis, men, women, and children; managed to bring total terror to the streets of Baghdad during the day but especially at night--especially hazardous for single women--and in spite of Obama's lying about Iraq now having fewer car bombings and terrorist-attacks over the past few weeks hundreds of Baghdadians have died in car-bomb and suicide bomb and mosque-attack incidents; managed to in spite of their having done nothing wrong than endured a ruthless dictator (aren't all dictators ruthless? I remember a US magazine article in the 1930s in which the writer of the article said what a nice man Adolph Hitler was when this writer had interviewed Der Fuhrer in his Bavarian Alps retreat); managed to cause people in the streets of Baghdad to now (those who are left alive for another day) declare they had it better under Saddam than they are having it under US rule--at least then, they say, they had electricity--not the best but at least for most of the day and night--now there are whole areas of Baghdad that have no electricity at all. At least under Saddam they had running water. Not anymore. They had a sewer system. Not anymore. At least they were producing oil at a high rate. Not anymore. Oil production has been purposely slowed down while big OIL criminals fight amongst themselves over who is going to have the major right at stealing as much of Iraq's oil as possible. Just think, here's the country with the largest oil reserve in the world and yet its people are suffering with poverty and diseases and filthy sanitation and a lack of doctors and medicine and a lack of caregivers and nurses and a lack of Iraqi citizen power. Are we getting out of Iraq! NEVER!
--Have you noticed? Neither Jay Leno nor David Letterman are funny anymore. In fact, they are embarrassingly NOT funny.
--I just noticed on Alive or Dead? that--the Brazilian architect Oscar Niemeyer is still alive--101; Old Doc Koop is 92; Kay Starr is still alive (Who?); Kitty Kallen (Who?) is still alive. Here ya go, check out this list:
|Name||Age||Date of Birth||Field|
| ||104|| ||03/20/1906|| ||Religion|
| ||102|| ||12/15/1907|| ||Architecture|
| ||101|| ||02/01/1909|| ||Music|
| ||101|| ||05/27/1909|| ||Music|
| ||100|| ||01/12/1910|| ||Entertainment|
| ||100|| ||07/04/1910|| ||Entertainment|
| ||97|| ||06/11/1913|| ||Music|
| ||96|| ||12/25/1913|| ||Music|
| ||96|| ||02/15/1914|| ||Entertainment|
| ||96|| ||07/29/1914|| ||Entertainment|
| ||95|| ||09/26/1914|| ||Other|
| ||95|| ||11/08/1914|| ||Entertainment|
| ||95|| ||02/04/1915|| ||Entertainment|
| ||95|| ||04/10/1915|| ||Entertainment|
| ||95|| ||05/27/1915|| ||Literature|
Delores Hope, that's old Bob Hope's widow; she's outlived old Bob now. George Beverly Shea is old decrepit Billy Graham's ex-Holy soloist at his Crusades (yeah, old Billy Graham would have been a Crusader, wouldn't he have?). Louise Ranier is an old actress--idolized when she made a stage comeback in the 60s to the delight of Marlon Brando and idolizers of that ilk. Rise Stevens is an old opera singer. Tony Martin's an old bandleader/pop singer from the 40s and 50s. Tony was very popular with the ladies. Married many times--his most famous marriage being to dancer Cyd Charise in the 50s. Surely no one's forgotten Professor Irwin Corey. One brilliant dude the Professor was--his comedic performances were one of the bright spots in New York City's Greenwich Village culture in the 60s and 70s--he and Brother Theodore--even Lord Buckley used to appear in the Village back then. Now I go back to the Apple and to the Village and it's scary to me. It's all so changed and tourists and big-buck oriented now. And then there's good ole Jack LaLanne checking in at 95--though on his continually present juicer infomercials on television he's still around 89. Since Jack's infomercials are now 6 years old, I predict Jack is in a fairly wild senile state right now--probably doesn't even remember who he is anymore. And then there's "M.A.S.H."'s Harry Morgan (a great old character actor; played Colonel Potter on M.A.S.H.). And finally, we acknowledge Herman Wouk--that American novelist of so many trashy novel fames. Didn't he write Marjorie Morningstar, that novel that grovels in a young Jewish girl's finding out she's hot and her body's a lure for every male or boy camper in a hundred-mile radius.
--I just saw it proudly announced, on a Saranac Lake local newscast, that New York City now has more NEW millionaires than any other US city--more millionaires now, they proudly continued, than Los Angeles...even Chicago! Oh boy, that's good news to New Yorkers who are living on shoestrings, their jobs in constant jeopardy.
--Hey, the Supreme(ly) (Idiotic Rightwing) Court ruled it's perfectly legal for a US citizen to own a gun--for his or her protection--a Constitutional right, dammit. So this poor old Thornton dude up in Connecticut working at a beer distributorship was caught on surveillance tape doing what anybody who works in a beer distributorship does--you know, pulls a case out of the shipping line and puts it in the trunk of their car every now and then. Hell, the boss does it. But poor old beer-drinking Thornton got caught. The only Black man working in this place and he's the one who gets caught copping some frebbie beers--all the White guys do it--and this is a free country, man--what all those stupid soldiers are killing or being killed about in our many wars--wars of democracy and spreading Capitalism. So the White boss was sorry, but Thornton was caught so he either quits or el cabron has to turn him into the White cops. OK, he quit, but then he went home and got his legal gun and came back to the job and took out as many of his former coworkers as he could blast, ending up killing 8, sending another to the hospital critically injured before he turned the gun on himself--for he had sinned--and blew himself away. The NRA says if those employees this Black fiend killed had'a been wearing their legal pieces some of 'em could have been saved. That certainly makes sense to me...and I've got my faithful and legal shotgun by my side at all times. You never know when one of Lake Flaccid's Blacks will wanna cop the beers out of my fridge.
Sad isn't it. And Chelsea Clinton's wedding was crammed full of Secret Service goons and batallions of local cops, highly blocked off areas so the Clintons and their thousands of hillbilly friends could have privacy in this so-important moment in this happy mother and father's life. I watched moosey Chelsea with her rather Goofy-the-dog-looking new criminally rich husband and wondered if she had her daddy's sex drive or if she was cold like I've always imagined Hillary to be? Think about it, Chelsea's father paid $75,000 to Paula Jones for propositioning her and showing her his dick in a hotel room back in Hillbilly Arkansas where such shenanigans are expected from their governors. Remember, Orville Faubus was governor of Arkansas. So was Winthrop Rockefeller, the alcoholic John D. Rockefeller grandson. Remember how Paula used that pay-off money to have her nose fixed--and then made another quick and easy 25,000 bucks or so by posing nude in Playboy? Lucky women. Born with the ability to make a man like Bill Clinton so horny he's willing to jeopardize his whole political career and ruin his marriage for some good ole Southern poontang. Gennifer Flowers--another one of Bill's favs--the sleazy half-hillbilly-half-hick-type teevee anchor woman. And, hell, how hot did young Monica Lewinsky make Chelsea's daddy?--and oh how the wedding observers commented so highly on Bill's tired-worn-out-looking old-grey-mare-looking self--what a man, what a president, and what a family man--from $30,000-a-year governor of Arkansas to ex-President now able to afford to give his special daughter, his divine daughter, a 3-million-dollar wedding at a time when a Black man named Thornton who stole some beer from his employer got fired and got mad and went and got his legal gun and came back and smoked 8 of his White buddies--those who probably teased him into grabbing those beers in the first place.
--In the meantime: G.W. Bush and Pickles Bush are having a natural ball--living well in their mansion they got through a foreclosure deal in Dallas's best White community--and still politically involved, too, this time as interim President of Haiti--whoa, we forgot, Old Bill, Chelsea's daddy, is the interim co-President of Haiti with G.W.
--In the sad unfair news department: Unka Dick Cheney is still waiting for someone to accidentally die so he can have a new ticker. He's a man without a heart right now--oh, that's right, he was born without a heart--fuck him, I say, let God give him a new heart if it's so fucking important he be kept alive.
Ah, what a lovely world it is. I think I'll go out on my screen porch and watch the polluted ducks making idiots of themselves in beautifully polluted Lake Flaccid.
for The Daily Growler
We Note the Passing of: Mitch Miller, 99, American music executive and television host (Sing Along with Mitch), after short illness. Mitch made his fortune being a Columbia Records A&R man and producer. His men's choir diddies (he conducted the choir) in the 50s and 60s ("Sing Along With Mitch") ("Yellow Rose of Texas" was one of their big hits) made Mitch rich. Jazz dudes know him as the oboe player on the Charles Parker, Jr., with strings LPs Norman Granz produced and recorded first on the Mercury label in the early 1950s. I (thegrowlingwolf) first heard Mitch as the announcer on the CBS radio network's broadcasts of the Newport Jazz Festivals in the late 50s. By the bye, Skitch Henderson, originally Jack Parr's "Tonight Show" bandleader--who then had to do a little serious jail time for feeling up a young underage daughter of a friend in one of his restaurants--and Mitch (Skitch and Mitch) used to be a pair on the NYC music business scene--Skitch on getting out of prison was totally forgiven of his child molesting sins (this was a time when even child molesters who served their time didn't have to be put on a sex fiend list) and got to live out his life conducting his own pops orchestra to much appreciation and earnings. Mitch, however, at 99, long outlived his old buddy Skitch.
Mitch Miller as a young oboe player
Who Solid Patriotic US White People Hate
Mexicans (especially hated by White People in Texas, New Mexico, Arizona, and California, where they hate any kind of Mexican, illegal or otherwise)
Gays and Lesbians (ironically, Gay and Lesbian-oriented sitcoms and Ellen Degeneris's afternoon talk show (and it is sooo Gay) and Dick Cheney's daughter are exceptionally popular)
Blacks (even Liberal Whites who say they don't hate Blacks are afraid of Blacks. Ironically a current trend here in New York City is for affluent Whites to buy into Harlem real estate and move their White families into formerly all-Black communities; Harlem now turning all White--Whites in New York City have historically driven Blacks north--from old New Amsterdam times on up to today. Once driven out of Harlem, Blacks are pushed further on up into the Bronx and lower Westchester County--Mount Vernon, New Rochelle, White Plains, with some daring to move into formerly Pure White Yonkers).
White People Think the Following:
That the USA is a God-founded Christian nation. They truly believe that Thomas Jefferson (a Deist) based the Bill of Rights and the Constitution on Christian theological principles. Most White people, whether Liberal or Out-of-Their-Minds Conservative, have never read either the Bill of Rights or the Constitution--and even if they try to read those documents they bore out after a few of the Bill of Rights. Most Rightwing Whites (especially those who hate any human being who's not PURE white--no mixed blood) believe the Bill of Rights can be replaced by the Ten Commandments. These are the Christian Whites (especially the fools who follow the leadership of Pat "A Little Spoiled Daddy's Boy Brat" Robertson) who are currently viciously fighting against New York City's Power Elite's decision to allow a MOSQUE (the very spelling of the word scares White people--and, by the bye, Arabs aren't White people to the White people I'm talking about) to be built "near" that sacred hallowed ground the Power Elite and the Gung Ho Patriots call Ground Zero, that sort of Sacred Grove area where currently the White Power Elite is trying to construct the world's tallest middle-finger-type-at-you building (yes, it faces Mecca) they want to call the Freedom Tower. Freedom from what is never explained. Most White people believe that the word Freedom in the Freedom Tower designation means "freedom from terrerists (G.W. Bush's pronunciation)"--"freedom from a Muslim takeover of our Christian nation"--freedom from some color besides White taking over this nation. That's the big scare among White people in this country: the Whites who solid believe they are the majority RACE in this country--the GOD-BLESSED RACE--the Christian God is a White male!--these Silent Majority Whites are scared to death they'll wake up one morning and they'll be rounded up by the Colored Majority's New Army and be hauled off in the back of an old Ford truck to hoe some cotton fields on the New Plantations in the New South..."Yo, White boy, git your ass over here and fetch me a cool drink'a that there spring water...and remember, White boy, I got this heah rifle pointed at yo pointed head so don't try no sly White trick-baggin' on my ass, you lazy worthless motherfucker." Oh no. Look at the fear on the faces of all those precious White women. "I'm'a scared of those big Black bucks."
--Warning: Verizon and Google are conspiring behind closed doors with the FCC to put into place tiers on the Internet--something these sorry bastards have been trying to get approved for years--the ability to charge you different rates for different levels of sites--the fastest speeds reserved for the corporate.com use of the Internet--the slowest speeds relegated to blogs and personal Websites--and, there will be put into place "fees" or "tolls" in the navigation process. Google is now a large corporation--they are now thinking in terms of annual profits--so who better to hook up with than the biggest motherfucking phone pirating corporation in the world, Verizon (they want to control the horizontal as well as the vertical communications networks--from space down to land). The irony here: the "airwaves" and the means of transmitting signals through space belong to We the People. The FCC is supposed to protect our rights to the public use of these media. They are not supposed to be in the business of negotiating for the use of We the People's airwaves and radio and telephone signals and cell phone transmission signals--as well as those satellites in outer space that are bouncing signals back toward our receivers. We the People in actuality OWN the Internet. But just like the big communications pirates stole public-access television from us they will eventually steal the Internet from us--it's coming--CABLE television was supposed to be commercial free--they were to base their collection of monies on subscriptions--you subscribed to CABLE networks, the ones you needed, like the movie networks or the sports networks. Now CABLE is almost totally commercial. Yes, there are still Public Access channels available but.... Captitalism demands profits. We are a Capitalist country now ruled by a Corporate Power Elite.
I was insulted in watching a local television news program praising the charitable nature of OUR billionaires. The bouncy blonde reporter was so excited as she spewed out the fact that OUR billionaires give away 50% of their wealth to CHARITY! She then over a clip of Warren "The Bluffer" Buffett walking among his Berkshire-Hathaway fellow-billionaires and then she showed a clip of the lovable Billy Boy Gates, he was giving a serious lecture somewhere it looked like, and then she said that this giving away of half their billions to charity was Warren's and Bill's idea. To get their billionaire buddies to volunteer half their worth to charities (these PE power brokers are mostly men--though we have to remember that Melinda Gates owns half of good ole Billy Boy's billions so she's an active player in this billionaire hoodwink to get these money-mad egomaniacs "oooohs" and "ahhhhs" over how wonderfully caring these paper-billionaires are). There was no analysis as to why these phony bastards were giving half of their worth to charities. Also no charities were named. Remember when Billy Boy was gonna end AIDS in the world?
Now, here's why billionaires give half of their "personal" worth to charities. You see, they're not giving really half of their worth to charities, only half of their personal income--same as you or I can deduct our charitable contributions on our IRS filings every year. Most of these billionaires's true source of wealth isn't being given to any charity. Most of their wealth comes from "capital gains"--and the tax on Capital Gains? Why Bush cut that back to something like 20% (sorry, like the government, my figures aren't necessarily accurate but they make their point). We the People pay an average of 30% of our earnings to the IRS. I guarantee you if you ever got a chance to check out Warren Buffett's personal tax return you'd be amazed at the amount of money he's getting back--in fact, you'd be amazed that most of Warren's wealth is not being taxed at all. Warren Buffett is worth approximately 60 billion dollars--he and Billy Boy and Melinda and Senor Slim of Mexico (Mexico's telephone system) control between them around 200 billion dollars (on paper)--60 billion a piece. I guarantee you, Warren Buffett's personal "earnings" are around half-a-million bucks on which he gets a huge refund--why? Due to the Bush tax breaks that Obama continues to back--trust me, Obama's going to reinstate those tax cuts when they expire during his watch. Doesn't that piss you off? And these wealthiest of White Men own We the People's asses lock, stock, and barrel. Fuck their chartible contributions. These skunks contribute to their own charities. Check it out. Billy Boy and Melinda just gave 30 billion to the Billy Boy Gates and Melinda Gates Control World Education Foundation! Warren Buffett just gave 3 billion to the Mrs. Warren Buffett Aid to Our One-Eyed Soldiers Foundation. You see the sham? These bastards's favorite charities are themselves.
with an unscheduled appearance for The Daily Growler