Marching Freedom Double-time Into Iran

UN Weapons Inspectors Say Iran Has Highly Enriched Uranium That Could Be Used to Make Nuclear Weapons...HOWEVER, Read on for the REAL STORY
OK, so here's this Associated Press story being slopped out to us on Yahoo News with headlines reporting that UN weapons inspectors in Iran have found traces of highly enriched uranium of the grade that could be used in making nuclear weapons. Since the "president" has admitted he only glances at the headlines of newspapers and depends on his egghead right-wing-dedicated hop-toad goons for his news analysis, we can imagine what the psychobabblers, like Teddy-boy Snow, or one of those boys that has his nose up Karl Rove's arse, at the White House are babbling in Georgie Porgie's big ears justifying an attack on Iran, which may be already going on, according to the gut-feelings of The Daily Growler, "RIGHT NOW, mister 'president'!" "And to the ass-kissing US media, hi Fox, you're doing a heck of a job, Rupert," these goons will then double-crow, "we found the Weapons of Mass Destruction good old Colon Powell used artist's sketches to prove were in Iraq at the UN. But what happened was, thanks to American citizens making phone calls to each other and talking openly about not wanting to go to war, wily old Saddam Hussein used his intercepting of those phone calls through the Al Queda high-powered telecommunications network to get prior notice that we were coming after his worthless ass, and with this prior notice, he had plenty of time to have moved those Weapons of Mass Destruction. The 'president' was convinced by this faulty information from the UN and the CIA, and Mister Colon Powell, hell, I'm sorry, I'm no racist, but that m-f'er just flat led the 'president' on a wild goose chase, as we say down in Tennessee...and I know they say it down in Texas...but NOW, and ironically this new information comes from UN Weapons Inspectors, the same ones who were tricked by Saddam in Iraq to believe he had no Weapons of Mass Destruction there, but now, those same inspectors have found those Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iran. This official UN report proves beyond a shadow of a doubt to us, the 'president's' jelly-shivering, scared-to-death wormy ass-licking goons, that Saddam Hussein, with the help of the Al Queda insurgents, shipped his Weapons of Mass Destruction to Iran. The 'president' knew this all along and has been preparing for this war as a part of his continuing war on terrorism, including the listening in on all American phone calls, and this time, that madman who took over from Saddam Hussein in Iran...er-ah, what's that Tony Snow? Saddam was at war with Iran; why, son, who told you that fool information? You been readin' that damn Daily Growler again?"

What the Story Did Report Eventually
The headlines were totally misleading. Here's what happened. Some US diplomats in Iran, if you believe this story, overheard these UN weapons inspectors saying "they thought" maybe they had found traces of "what APPEARED to be" highly enriched uranium on equipment at a research center at a military base. These US diplomats demanded anonymity in return for this confidential info. Smell a rat yet? The diplomats told an unnoted (it's an Associated Press release on Yahoo News) contact that the uranium was enriched to a density that was enough to make a nuclear warhead. This revelation came out at the same time Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, the president of Iran, was telling an assemblage of Muslim nations in Bali, Indonesia, that the world had nothing to fear from Iran's nuclear plans, they were not for military use but for much needed electrical power. Whewww, we're so relieved! Don't get me wrong, we at The Daily Growler are not that big'a fans of good ole Mahmoud; I mean you can't trust him, except we think you can trust that he understands that Georgie Porgie and Pappy Bush are in cahoots with the Saudi royals and the Bin Ladins; you can trust he also understands that Georgie Porgie and his dead-eyed sidekicks are absolutely nuts--look in their eyes, like we've said before--they are the eyes of clueless madmen (automatons with Pappy's hand up all their asses); we think Mahmoud has come to see, that the US says "F Israel; we don't care if you attack Israel; that would give us the excuse to drop a nuclear bomb on Tehran; we really don't give a shit if you wipe out any number of Israelis you want to." Believe The Daily Growler, Georgie Porgie and Pappy Bush do not give one god-damn hoot in Hell about Israel. They know the US owns Israel. Israel has no economy without our aid, billions of dollars a year.

This Associated Press piece of crap fear reporting near the end said, a high diplomat with the International Nuclear Energy Agency said he doubted the report; it didn't sound plausible to him. Wow! How about that? Doesn't that thrill your soul?

Following the Poor Old US Dollar in the Global Marketplace
From a Financial Times article, they are reporting that there was a huge sell-off of US bucks Friday in the world money markets due to those markets having fears about the US account deficit. The US dollar lost 7% against the Euro buck and the Yen (bad, bad, bad), the weakest it has gone since 1997, when Slick Willie was getting BJs in the Oval Office.

More bad financial news was reported in FT (and the Bloomberg online financial news service reported it). Due to the Federal Reserve raising interest rates to 5% from 4.75% in what Ayn Rand-nutjob Allen Greenspan calls a "fight against inflation," the 16th straight time Allen has raised interest rates in a row, the US government benchmark 10-year bonds (those that mature ten years from the date you buy them) had their yield drop from 5.11 to 5.14, its highest yield level in 10 years, leading to the US dollar taking that 7% hit against the Euro and the Yen (bad, bad, bad). We are just bringing your attention to these financial reports. We don't have time to explain them to you; our staff economist hasn't got much faith in statistics; the first book he read as an Economics undergraduate was How to Lie With Statistics and that has been his handbook ever since. In fact, he points out our trade deficit went down from an all-time high of 85 billion or so to 82 billion or so. So what, he says, "it just means Amurikans are buying more domestic goods." What! we screamed! Bullshit, Walmart's profits are going off the charts and they don't sell any domestic products do they? Isn't all Walmart sells made in Commie China? "I'm just telling you how an economist would interpret that large'a drop in the deficit, which has been going up since January." By the way, the US deficit is now 7% of our Gross Domestic Product. What's that mean to an economist? "To me, it's statistics based on a false base; the GDP doesn't show the full deficit." Explain it. "I don't have time. I'm joining John Negroponte for a cigar smoker at his private, citizen-paid-for massage parlor and work-out room. We'll smoke illegal Cuban cigars and drink some Armagnac John found on one of his trips to that South Sea island that Jack Abramoff and Tom De Lay set up where they hire really cute young Asian girls to do both heavy-duty sweatshop work and whore out on the side. Hell, if you knock 'em up, don't worry, the company that uses them as cheap-ass labor-sluts makes 'em get an abortion; they can't work there if they're in the family way, so there are no little bastards running around the island looking for a US daddy." Heh-heh-heh. You chuckle a bit at what our staff economist is babbling in his inebriated state [where is all this 75-year-old Armagnac coming from?], but it is probably pretty close to the immoral hypocrisies these worthless human insects reason under. Such scumbags.

The US dollar losing to the Euro and the Yen led to another piece of bad news. Worries over US inflation led to NASDAQ, the stock exchange that carries the hitech stocks: computermakers like Apple (its stock fell Friday), softwaremakers like Microsoft (its stock fell Friday), systems creators like Cisco (its stock fell Friday), search engines like Google (its stock took a bath Friday), had a 6% tumble, nearly all of its stocks suffering bad plunges so far this week.

Ironically, an economist at Brown Brothers & Harriman a Wall Street firm that should be familiar to you from The Daily Growler's past post on the Pappy and Granpappy Bushes's evil past histories--check out the April Archives, Marc Chandler writes, "Volatility in the capital markets is rising. Global equities are tumbling." Great news for the good ole US dollar.

McGraw-Hill Shows Their Colors
Patricia Polacco is a writer and illustrator of over 50 children's books, including Thank You, Mr. Falker and The Keeping Quilt [not having a children's book reviewer on staff, and most of us having never read a children's book, we have no idea if these are cool kiddie books]. She was under contract to SRA/McGraw-Hill [we have no idea what that SRA stands for; and we don't care to know] and they booked her to make speeches and do booksignings at the huge International Reading Association convention in Chicago on May 2nd and 3rd that brought together 22,000 (not lying) librarians, teachers, etc. Ms.[is this NOW usage still viable?] Polacco is notorious for being an outspoken critic of Georgie Porgie's insane "No Child Left Behind" education bill. Everyone knows she criticizes its stiff penalties for teachers and schools where students score poorly on standardized achievement tests. She feels the bill does a big disservice to teachers and students, forcing teachers to "teach to the test" rather than the true educational needs of students.

One day, Patricia gets a letter from the PR firm in Ohio that McGraw-Hill hired to set up her speeches and signings at this big convention. They wanted to see a copy of the speech she was going to make. She consented, since she has given over a thousand speeches in her career so she saw nothing wrong with it. They wrote her back requesting that she take all mention of the "No Child Left Behind" bill out of her speech and stick to promoting her book as stipulated in the contract she had with McGraw-Hill. She wrote back and said that she did not believe the contract she signed with McGraw-Hill had any control over what she said in her speeches so she said she wouldn't change one damn word of her speech. She teased the PR firm to "uninvite her" to the conference thinking the conference people had invited her in particular. Nope, the PR firm told her; McGraw-Hill was paying her salary and they did have a contractual right to tell her what the hell she could say at a conference where she was representing them and not herself. "And by the way, Mrs. Polacco, F you, you're fired. You ain't invited to no conference anywhere now. By the way, did we say F you for McGraw-Hill, too? If not, they say F you, too, Mrs. Polacco. Good day."

Turns out, McGraw-Hill is the largest publisher of achievement tests! Whoooo Hooo, what a world this corporate plantation is we all are volunteering for slavery on.

The Daily Growler Staff Riders ("Writers" in Archiese)
for The Daily Growler

The Daily Growler Quote of the Day
"It is a fraud of the Christian system to call the sciences human invention; it is only the application of them that is human. Every science has for its basis a system of principles as fixed and unalterable as those by which the universe is regulated and governed. Man cannot make principles, he can only discover them." Thomas Paine, Age of Reason, off Liberty on Line, which may be no longer on line. But don't take our word for it; check it out.