A Nonswimmer Trying to Swim in the Computer Sea

But First the News from the Growler Wired Service:Washington, District of Corruption:Donald Rumsfeld is a genuine heel of a human being; a blathering idiot who has the power to send thousands of poor old goofy soldiers to their unnecessary deaths with not one protest at all, man. Unbelieveable, as the Air America personalities are constantly screeching. Ship the whole Ship of Those Fools out into an irreturnable sea of penitentiary blues.

The "president" is still a bumbling spoiled brat shorty rich boy used to getting his way no matter how disastrous that way may be for those who follow in his footsteps. God bless the child who's got his own, as the old Depression song moaned.

Oh and by the way: There was a huge gun battle in Kandahar, Afghanistan yesterday between Taliban and US and British forces. 47 Taliban reported (by a dutiful Judith Miller type) killed, though they could only find 11 bodies. The figures of US and British casualties were not disclosed. Ah shucks!!!

How these executives keep their jobs is beyond my growling over. Baying at the f-ing moon, yeah, and I'll be doing plenty of that with the Arisen Jesus H. Christ this weekend. I raise a tumbler of Jameson's Gold to ye all! Find a lot of those eggs now; old E B (Easter Bunny) told the Growler he'd laid a hell of a lot of 'em. To him we say, "You're doin' a heck of a job E B, old hare."

thegrowlingwolf

A Nonswimmer Trying to Swim in the Computer Sea

In a moment of utter chaos, I checked in at one of my favorite rest areas on the Internet highway of my high-speed utterly chaotic life, the world of the incorrigible computer whiz kids--every human being is a kid to me; 'cause I'm really just a kid; like the rocker sings, "I'm a child, stop treatin' me like a man." What I find on their sites is amazing! [Scott Fitzgerald wrote that he never used exclamation marks in his writing because to him that was life laughing at your own joke.]

Most of us think in terms of how we use computers. We seldom dwell long on how they make them work. I dare to dive into the deepest of waters of any sea--I admit I don't know how to swim in bathtub-level waters much less these pelagic computer sea waters--because I'm OBSESSIVELY CURIOUS. I can't stand secrets, though god-dammit, I demand my privacy! ["Scott, I am laughing at my own joke!"] I have no secrets in my privacy whatsoever, so in my case I have no privacy, only an illusional one.

One of the shallowest of the deepest waters of the Computer Sea is slashdot.org. I bookmarked it (have you spotted a Foxfire user yet?) months ago but never really jumped into it until I came across the term "typo domains." Heard of them? Me neither. But there are some clever sons'a bitches (sommbiches in certain areas of the US) out there phishing in the Computer Sea. [Did you read where Reverend Moon has taken over the sushi industry in the US? Clever little faux-messiah type in a cheap Korean sweatshop-made suit.] Slashdot led me to ZDnet.com and there I found a thorough explanation of typo domains and their backdoor-sleazy proprietors, "typo squatters."

The best examples of these prey sites was based on a Bill Gates-sponsored research report describing common mistakes dumbasses (my definition of most people) make when typing in a URL. The six mistakes in marching order: 1) missing dots (Newscom.) Catching on? 2) transposition (Nwes.com) 3) suffix replacement (News.net) 4) character omission (New.com) 5) character insertion (Newws.com) and 6) character replacement (Newz.com). What happens is the prowling devious pirate-types buy domains using these mistakes as site addresses and then use their sites for various nefarious affairs. The sleazebags can use them as "parking lots" for "pay-per-click" and "syndicated advertising" (Whew! I'm wiping my furrowed brow of the sweat caused by my fretting over this new lingo with these neologisms buzzing around my poor old febriled head--oh my, I feel the hair growing back all over my body a la Lawrence Talbott and the lycophantic urge to growl in great ululation coming up from my solar plexus--ironically, because the LUNATIC moon must be getting full and dominating my sky).

Seems to me the ZDnet article is saying using typo domains as parking lots for site services is fine with them. The evil typo squatters are those that control "pop-ups" and "pop-unders" (are "pop-overs" too cullinery?). These computational jerks are evil because they can redirect "surfers" to their typo-domains and not to the domains surfers are addressing. Bill's best & brightest say we dumbass surfers sometimes don't even know when we've been redirected to a "third-party site"--another monicker for a typo squatter's domain. We dumbasses actually might get a fundamentalist, and I stress the mentalist part of that word, Christian attitude should a porn ad suddenly pop up while our sweet and precious child, maybe it's your own little Lucy, is looking at what for all she can tell is the Disney kiddie play and games site. Suddenly you hear her scream, "Mommy, daddy, Mickey Mouse is showing me his pee-pee and he's doing something nasty with it to Minnie Driver...oh, mommy, daddy, I think Jesus H. Christ is going to spank me 'cause I have been a bad little girl." [Cries of "Spank me, Jesus, oh spank me, you m...." ring out from the Second Coming Production's Web site excerpt from Debbie Does Domitrixing as Her High School Work Project.]

These sites are used for "phishing" too, you know where good ole boy scumbags try and phish out your identity so they can perhaps ravage your bank account or buy a huge questionable porn collection from Ivan the Filthy Russian.com using your fave credit card. Or it might be some poor widow from Nigeria phishing in your email seeking to touch a certain little hectare of greed in your caring soul's estate to the point you send her the bank stream ID to your savings account and tell her to take all she needs except you expect her to deposit the 20 million her ex-general deceased husband left for her in a special closed bank account that only takes genuine US dollars to bribe it open mucho pronto or you're gonna report her to INTERPOL.

Of course the worse use by these typo domain creeps is using wrongly typed URLs for popular kiddie Web sites [we've already spilled the beans in the Little Lucy case reported above] to lead the little innocent lambs to (OH MY GOD) porn sites. [I get wolfish and wanting to growl when I think of how spoiled most Americkan children are. When I was a kid, porn to me was a bra ad in one of my mother's McCall's magazines. Praise the Lawd for Hugh Heffner (80 years old and getting stiffer every day); he released a lot of post-WWII pentup sexual repression in young boys of my generation when he began publishing Playboy in the early 1950s, based on, by the bye, Sexual Appeal, out of Paris in the late 30s and early 40s, the copy I've seen was from 1939 and it had a totally Playboy format, complete with the joke page then the centerfold nude. But what these young masturbaters get these days with their computers and access to all these easily accessed nasty pleasures, son of a bitch it makes me growl like the rabid dog I am. I remember in grade school looking "adultery" up in the big Meriam-Webster's (we called it the "big dick") on the teacher's desk and getting our kicks reading the definition. Hey, that made sex a whole lot more exciting when you finally got it than today when you know all about it by the time your pubic hair comes in and boys learn to screw like oil-well pumps, straight down and hard, and girls learn to fake an orgasm from the experts in orgasm fakery. Where my generation of boys let nature take it course, this generation tries to change the course of nature.]

Addendum: An especially intriquing entry on slashdot.org was the one for Friday, April 14th, "Military Investigates Sale of Sensitive Data." Seems the Afghanis are outsmarting our double-stupid military dupes and assholes and smuggling out military computer memory drives and selling them in market shops. Hot damn! The wicked get mashed no matter how wickedly clever they imagine themselves, like our miltary idiots who lead us into so much destruction and death and continuous conflict with blood and guts flooding and wrapping all around their necks and staining their uniforms through-and-through and staining their innards, though you notice, these big brass assholes live pretty aristocratic and stately long lives after their killing careers are over. "They never die," as one of the biggest asshole generals of all time, Doug-ass McArthur, said, "they just fade away."

NUT JOBS are running us. Where is intelligence? Where is reason? Where is deep thought? I remember old shithead Lyndon Johnson drawling about "Cum let us reezon together, mah feller Amurikans." Why don't we? This god-damn awful Internet is a place we could honestly reason together. Phish for peace. Use typo-domains to lure the idiots into an intelligent experience.

Book recommendation: You have to read Henry George's Progress and Poverty to understand how there can be such utter chaotic poverty amidst such luxury and in so wealthy a natural world.

laughingboyblues for the growlingwolf &
The Daily Growler