Monday, January 28, 2013

Existing in New York City in a Wildly Growing Concrete Jungle

Foto by tgw, "Madison Square Park," New York City, January 2013
Say Goodbye to: Ed "How'm I Doin'" Koch, a man I often lampooned as Ed Crotch since most of his mental capacity was in his crotch.  He started as a liberal (Village) Democrat but ended as a rightwing nutjob, attending the Republican Convention one year when he had become a Rudi Guiliani stooge.  All I remember him giving NYC were bike lanes and the worthless Javits Center.  Oh well, we don't have Ed Koch to kick in the crotch anymore.  Ed Koch, 88, Mayor of New York City (1978—1989).
Nobel Peace Prize Winner President Obama Again Does Something G.W. Bush Couldn't Do
President Obama's military goons announced today that thanks to us probably spreading a couple of billion bucks around poor old Niger, we have finally have a military base in Africa...a drone base in Niger...HOT DAMN, now we can control the skies over Northern Africa from Libya over to Mali...Niger is right next to Mali where we are currently aiding the French Colonial forces in their recolonizing Mali as again our military nutjobs are claiming Mali is an al-Queda hotbed.  Watch out Nigerans, especially your women and children, U.S. drones will soon be shooting missiles at your dumb asses...remember, our Nobel Peace Prize-winning president and commander in chief considers any male a possible member of al-Queda and on his KILL list.  Today it was also announced that President Obama's popularity is now near the heavens.  He has successfully pulled the wool over our blinded eyes for a second time.
Say Goodbye to: Patty Andrews, the bad seed of the swing-era singing sensations The Andrews Sisters.  Patty broke up the group when she without notice took off on a solo career, her sisters reading about it in the gossip columns.  Who'd'a thought an Andrews Sister was still alive up until yesterday (Jan. 30). Patty Andrews, 94, American singer, last surviving member of The Andrews Sisters, natural causes.
Who Lives in the Clouds?
I live amidst a jungle of tall and taller and going-taller buildings.  Edifices of brag, I suppose.  In Uptown Manhattan on 59th there is going up a 93-story apartment building exclusively for billionaires.  All around me in Midtown are now sun-blocking, star-blocking high-rise buildings, one new one looming up 72 floors.  Over on Fifth Avenue they are going to build the world's tallest luxury apartment building, a building that will outskyscrape the venerable Empire State Building, again billionaires being the only jive asses who can afford such residential vanity.  These are not architectural splendors either.  Most are dull nondescript look-alike box-like towers.

The Manhattan Borough president agrees with our billionaire mayor, Mikey Bloomingidiotberg, that these billionaire real-estate ventures will raise the tax base and put the city in the black for years to come, which is, of course, bullshit.

I look at cities around the world and I'm amazed at the gaggles of heaven-reaching buildings on their constantly evolving skylines.  It causes me to wonder, "Who the hell rents the vast spaces in these behemoth edifices?"  Like the skyline of Hong Kong.  It is one long islanded glob of mile-after-mile of high-rise skyscrapers, each one taller than the next one; again I ask, who the hell or what the hell are housed in those buildings?  Chinese Communist capitalist pigs?  Foreign corporations?  Banks?  Financial pirates?  And Shanghai's dazzling skyline, who resides in those overtall buildings? Or are they just for show; for Chinese Communist Capitalism propaganda?

There's a competition around the world to see who can build the world's tallest buildings.  Here in Manhattan, they are continuing to build on what was once called the Freedom Tower but has now been reduced to Number One World Trade Center, though construction of this the world's most expensive-ever office building, cost overrunning to way up over 2 billion dollars now, has been slow as a turtle in Hades for a good while, its unfinished tackiness looming up where the boring and what proved to be easily collapsible WTC twin towers once stood.

In my Midtown Manhattan neighborhood I can easily see from my window tons of empty apartments and offices in the popping up hi-rises that in the past 5 years have grown up like nuked mushrooms around me.  The hi-rise luxury (max-tacky) apartment building up my block from me now has a permanent "For Rent" sign out on its concrete front lawn.

The old Jack Webb-produced Dragnet teevee shows (from 1969 and 1970) open with a panoramic view of Los Angeles in those years.  it amazes me to see how few hi-rise buildings there were in L.A. when these shows were filmed.  The L.A. City Hall (a magnificent building by the way) looms the tallest in its neighborhood then, a neighborhood that now fences in City Hall with hi-rise buildings; L.A. Center City is now crammed with reaching-for-the-heavens skyscrapers.

There are no jobs anymore in this country, so who the hell are renting these office spaces?  And who are renting these ultraexpensive luxury apartments?  Due to the rent levels, these hi-rise luxury apartment  buildings take rents up to astronomical heights.  My apartment building, the oldest still-standing building on Broadway, a building over 150 years old, once a fleabag SRO hotel catering mostly to working-class Chinese, now boasts apartments renting for $2,000-a-month up to $2,500-a-month.  Plus, more and more, and a lot of these buildings are doing this, floors in my building are being converted into hotel rooms--its against the law, but what the fuck do landlords give a damn about laws?  Tourists to New York City are willing to shell out $350 to $500-a-night for a conventional hotel room (plus a 14% hotel tax is tacked onto their final bill), so why not tap into that market by offering tourists who don't want to pay big bucks for a room a room for say $200-a-night?  More and more I see these people in my building.  Of course, I'm thinking BEDBUGS!  It's well known here in NYC that tourists from around the world bring bevies of bedbugs with them.  I've got a Holiday Inn right next door to my building and I know for sure the bedding in that building was sitting in there for over a year before the hotel opened...filling up with dust and dust mites and rats and mice and bedbugs during that time; yet, hey, this shoddy little Holiday Inn does a good business of cheapy tourists piling in there day and night with their cheap-ass wheeled luggage.
Photographing From Ground Level
I once prided myself as being a "photographer on the roof."  I loved going up on the roofs of neighborhood buildings and shooting my shots.  Then suddenly I found I was banned from going on building roofs; even my landlord took my building's roof away from me.  Not only did he lock the door leading to the roof, he installed cameras up there and if you do manage to find the door open and try to advance out onto the roof, an alarm goes off and spotlights come on and the cameras start whirring away filming your trespassing ass.

Yesterday, I decided to break with my photographic tradition and start photographing from the millions of other goofy photographers both amateurs and professionals do.  I hate becoming part of the normal, except I have developed what my old photographer pal and teacher taught me use of what he referred to as "your photographic eye."  A true photographer like a painter has different perspectives of what untrained photographers see as commonplace scenes.

I have had my eye for weeks now on Madison Square Park just up Fifth Avenue from me as a place I might could find interesting in terms of my photographic eye and its perspectives.  So yesterday I took my ancient Toshiba digital camera up there and sat a while scoping the many scenes there and then, while sitting on a bench, started seeing shots and then taking them, including two of the Flatiron Building, one of the sides of some surrounding buildings---I like combining what I call building patterns into photos---one across the top of a statue, a statue of a soldier type whose identity I don't know nor even care to know, onto the sides of surrounding buildings (the foto shown at the top of this post), and one of the old Metropolitan Life tower.  What lured me to this park to shoot were the winter trees, all naked of leaves but thick of limbs.  My urge was to shoot these famous landmarks through this webbing of tree limbs.  After five shots, my old camera suddenly decided not to work.  I pressed the shutter release button and nothing happened.  I got pissed and aimed the camera to the ground and sure enough when I got home and downloaded the day's take, there was a shot of my shoes.
And there it is, folks, a photograph of thegrowlingwolf's shoes as he stands in Madison Square Park in New York City pissed off at his obstinate elder Toshiba digital camera after it refused to shoot an upward shot of the Metropolitan Life building and an adjoining hi-rise luxury building on 23rd Street.
Obama's Inaugural Speech 
First of all, after reading that this inauguration shindig was costing We the People of the USA around 170 million bucks, I began to ask why the fuck these inaugural ceremonies are held?  Obama had already taken the oath of office indoors, so why was this sham event imposed upon us?  His second oath-taking was a sham.  The first one was the real one; the one done in secret, like everything else in the District of Corruption is done.  Then came the speech.  Here we go again, I thought, remembering Obama's sparkling "Yes, We Can" speeches back in 2008.  Here goes this guy off again on a speech that we should all know by now is pure-dee bullshit!  And that's exactly what it was.  It was a speech full of high-blown platitudes with little absolutely defined procedures.  At no time did he mention our many war/military involvements around the world.  At no time did he mention how the crooked banks and pirating financial institutions are still throwing out-of-work and in-debt Americans out of their homes and off their lands and stealing their tax dollars.  At no time did he mention the 50 million Americans who are dangling on the brink of poverty.  At no time did he mention how his administration has deported more immigrants than all the previous administrations combined?  At no time did he mention how his drone flight attacks have killed mostly innocent men, women, and children in countries from Pakistan across the globe to Yemen and the Sudan.  The speech to me was a big pile of District of Corruption bullshit.  The only hope I got out of it was that perhaps he could be sort of paying attention to the polls that show the American people voted for him because he was to them the lesser of two evils.  Last night, however, on the CBS entertainment show 60 Minutes, Barry appeared at the side of Hillbilly Hillary, who we assume is retiring from her high-paying Sec'y of State job to start organizing her run for the presidency in 2012, though her recent brain clot might put a stop to that.  What a pompous piece of acting that little sideshow was.  During this bullshit session, Barry Obama did reveal a glaring truth about his deviousness when he said people in his and Hillary's positions were really oblivious to criticisms, to the many critical blogs and Twitters that offer up criticisms of him and his administration.  He said arrogantly, he never paid attention to criticism of that sort; he let his staff deal with such critical shit hurling.  Hillbilly kept nodding "yes" to Obama's statements, and especially his defense of her world-travelling time in office.  Now to be replaced by world-travelling John "Ketchup Lips" Kerry, that two-faced poor little spoiled rich boy and former war protester.  What a bunch of total fools we have running our Ship of Fools.  Sorry, folks, that's how I interpreted all this flurry of heavily thrown bullshit.  You need a pretty big shovel to shovel your way out of all that District of Corruption bullshit and a champion bullshit shoveler I am, no matter how deep my own bullshit becomes.

for The (Non)Daily Growler

The Art of (my old friend) Will Shuster:
Blessing of the Woodmen
Blessing of the Woodmen, Will Shuster, 1939 

Friday, January 18, 2013

Existing in New York City: Creatively Writing

Foto by tgw, New York City, December 2012
Say Goodbye to: Stan "The Man" Musial one of the great hitters of baseball in the good ole days when there were only 16 teams in MLB.  Stan spent his whole career with the St. Louis Cardinals.  He was a consistent league-leading hitter playing in the Cardinal outfield and later at 1st base.  I long remember the Cardinals with Stan playing for them w/Marty Marion, Red Schoendinst, and manager Eddie Dyer.  Stan Musial, 92, American Hall of Fame baseball player (St. Louis Cardinals).
Say Goodbye to: Earl Weaver, the crusty, feisty, and foul-mouthed manager of the Baltimore Orioles when they had championship teams.  He could contest Tommy LaSorta for using the F word when he was pissed off at a player or umpire. Earl Weaver, 82, American Hall of Fame baseball manager (Baltimore Orioles), apparent heart attack.
Say Goodbye to: Jack McCarthy, the stand-up poet.
Say Goodbye to: Milt Bolling, an up-and-down shortstop who had his best years beating out Johnny Lipon for the regular Boston Red Sox shortstop job in the mid-50s.  His hot years didn't last long and the Sox traded him to the lowly Washington Senators for Dean Stone, a pitcher; Milt ended up on the Detroit Tigers with his brother, Tigers' regular 2nd baseman, Frank Bolling.  Milt Bolling, 82, American baseball player (Boston Red Sox), complications from heart surgery.
Creative Writing Courses
I just read a short story by a woman whose bio says she took a creative writing course at Johns Hopkins University.  It got me to wondering: how do you teach someone creative writing?  What is creative writing in the first place?  As a writer who may not be as creative as I think I am, I, like a chicken with its head cut off, searched the Internet and found at good ole Jimmy Wales' Wikipedia the following definition of creative writing:

Creative writing is any writing that goes outside the bounds of normal professional, journalistic, academic, or technical forms of literature, typically identified by an emphasis on narrative craft, character development, and the use of literary tropes.

Wow!  I'm impressed.  I'm none of those kinds of writers.  I'm not a professional....  Well, wait a minute now,  I have published, so I guess that makes me a professional.  I have published and been paid for what I published, too, so I guess that really makes me a professional.

Now, let's see, am I a journalist?  I keep a journal, but then I think what that journalistic in the definition means is writing for a newspaper.  I've published in newspapers.  By golly, I suppose that makes me a journalistic writer.  I've posted over 1,000 posts in The Daily Growler, which is a might even qualify as a newspaper (I'll be damned if I look up the definition of a newspaper).  The problem with me here is I've never written professionally for a newspaper.  So that disqualifies me as a journalistic writer.

Next comes academic writing.  Hmmm, that one has me.  Does it mean did I write while I was in school?  I did.  I wrote in high school and then in college.  Does my Master's thesis count as academic writing?  But the trouble is, that definition states these are forms of literature.  I really couldn't classify my Master's thesis as literature.  Damn, now I have to decide what's the definition of literature?  I have published in literary reviews sponsored by colleges and universities.  I can't figure this one out so I'll jump to the next one.

"Technical forms of literature."  Whoa, I have no idea what that means.

Further on down at the bottom of the Wikipedia definition of creative writing, there is a quote from Kay Boyle: "All creative-writing programs ought to be abolished by law.”  Ironically, Kay Boyle is a creative writing teacher.

The key phrase in the above definition of creative writing is "any writing that goes outside the bounds of normal...literature."  Wow, that's a tough one to chew on.  Outside the bounds of normal literature.  That would certainly in my way of thinking include Gertrude Stein, my writing mentor (one of them); it would include James Joyce for sure; it would include William Faulkner, I suppose; but would it include old Dostoyevsky? would it include Voltaire? would it include Nabokov?

Definitions are subjective aren't they?  Like beauty, they're in the eye of the beholder.  Any book or short story or poem I read I like to me is creative written literature.  And if creative writing is like the definition states outside the bounds of normal literature, how in the heck do you teach it except by critically analyzing a teacher's personal-likes examples.  I mean Rudolph Wurlitzer wrote outside the bounds of normal literature, but would you call his work creative literature? Or Nathalie Sarraute's nouveau roman writing, writing I must admit in an humble way I totally couldn't understand (of course, I read it in English translation), is it true creative literature?  Or is it "dashed off" literature.  Eccentric literature?  Certainly writing that can't be taught in a creative writing course...or at least that's how I see it.

Graham Greene said writing should be entertaining and called his novels entertainments.  I like that approach to writing myself.  I find books via which you have to crank up your vast knowledges to figure out more boring than entertaining.  Yet, ironically, I find Gertrude Stein's writing entertaining.  And I find Joyce's Ulysses extremely entertaining, a book I find almost as hilarious as Nabokov's Lolita, which as I've often said is the funniest book I've ever read.  I could also throw Dr. Hunter S. Thompson's Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas into that pot, too.  Gonzo writing is certainly creative writing since it's certainly outside the bounds of normal...literature.
Gertrude Stein Wrote:
"You only add books you never subtract or divide them and any book that is printed is a book.  It is nice that nobody writes as they talk and that the printed language is different from the spoken otherwise you could not lose yourself in books and of course you do, you completely do."
[from p. 113, A Primer for the Gradual Understanding of Gertrude Stein, Black Sparrow Press, 1974.]

Charles Bukowski Wrote:

the ladies of summer

the ladies of summer will die like the rose
and the lie

the ladies of summer will love
so long as the price is not

the ladies of summer
might love anybody;
they might even love you
as long as summer

yet winter will come to them

white snow and
a cold freezing
and faces so ugly
that even death
will turn away---
before taking

[from p. 56, Play the Piano Drunk Like a Percussion Instrument Until the Fingers Begin to Bleed a Bit, Black Sparrow Press, 1982.] a creative mood
for The Daily Growler 

The Art of (My Old Friend) Will Shuster


Friday, January 11, 2013

Existing in New York City: Beautiful Women Can Be Evil

Foto by tgw, New York City, December 2012
Say Goodbye to: Claude Nobs, the man who gave we jazz fans the Montreux Jazz Festival. Claude Nobs, 76, Swiss founder and general manager of Montreux Jazz Festival, complications from skiing accident.
Before You Read the Following thegrowlingwolf Personal Beliefs, Here Are the Pros and Cons of Vaccinations From
Most healthcare professionals believe that vaccinations are very effective. There is a widespread belief that vaccinations are responsible for the vast decline in many of our infectious and childhood illnesses. In comparison to the risks of the illnesses, it is commonly felt that vaccines are relatively harmless and pose very little risk.

Healthcare professionals against vaccinations have presented various arguments against vaccinations. They include the following:

  • The susceptibility of different children isn't taken into account. If a baby is born to a mother who has used intravenous drugs, the baby is more susceptible to such illnesses as hepatitis
  • It is impossible to eradicate all diseases. Could we be replacing one disease for another?
  • Some people are against the fact that vaccines are presented as being compulsory. This is not entirely the case, as there are exemptions allowed in most states.
  • Natural immunity lasts longer. Actually getting chicken pox can give you lifelong immunity, whereas getting the vaccine may not.
  • There are benefits from having an illness like chickenpox, measles mumps or rubella in that there is lifelong immunity following infection.
  • Diseases declined before the vaccinations. The disease of the 19th century in our society that had high fatality rates were smallpox, measles, tuberculosis, typhoid, diphtheria and influenza (or the flu). As living conditions and hygiene have improved, many of the illnesses have become less severe. This is not necessarily the case globally.
  • The number of vaccines have increased over the years 8 to 22 (and more)
  • There are harmful chemicals in the vaccine that some children might be sensitive to. The following is a partial list:
      Aluminum- it has been implicated in alzeimer's disease, dementia and seizures
      Formaldehye- is known to cause cancer
      Mercury -has been a topic of wide discussion.
      Monkey Tissue - is used to prepare the polio vaccine. There have been lots of polio vaccines over the years that have been contaminated by Simian Virus 40 (SV40). Some people have linked simian virus to childhood tumors, as the tumors have been known to contain the simian virus in it.


Can a Beautiful Woman Talk Me Into Killing Myself?
When it comes to beautiful women, I have been a lucky man...or have I?  Since I was eleven years old, there is a certain female beauty that I have fallen head-over-heels for.  My first affair was with a 10-year-old blonde beauty that set the precedent for this female beauty category, a young woman so beautiful she grew up to be noted as one of the most beautiful women in Texas.  My first affair with this woman (do you call a 10-year-old a woman?) was disastrous in her being brutally hurt by our getting caught, her being hurt to the core while I did a chicken-out run for cover dodging the bullets that she was aiming at me.  Her parents and my parents were very close friends, and when I was heading off to the U.S. Army, she came with her parents to a lunch honoring my patriotic departure given by my parents and I tried to talk to her but she refused to even nod to me and obviously deliberately snubbed me during the whole lunch.

Then comes a long list of beautiful women over the long course of the next collection of phases in my long life.  Each one with a tragic story connected with her relations with me.  Some of them I married...and all of my marriages ended in tragic bust ups (i.e., divorce).  Some of them I should have married but instead naively ignored to the point they turned on me viciously, one in a vengeance against my being slow on the uptake with her getting herself knocked up by a dude I totally despised.  Then when I tried to win her back, her father threatened me with a shotgun, telling me as he did that if he ever caught me "messin' around" his daughter again he'd kill me.  To get revenge on this young woman, I openly started having an affair with her best friend in our hometown and later with a couple of her best friends from her college.

Since I am rather Freudian in my psyche-thinking, could it be that I subconsciously pick on these beautiful women to hurt myself or at least to put my self in a revengeful mode?  Now that's an interesting idea that I could write a book on.  Could it be I basically HATE these beautiful women?  Could I be a Lothario?  Am I "a man who behaves selfishly and irresponsibly in his sexual relationships with women"?  Am I a roue?

I cast out the idea that I hated these women.  I sincerely romantically loved all of them and still remember every little detail of what attracted me to them in the first place (they were all uniquely attractive women in both brains and physiques) and those moments when we had passionate love.  The majority of these "deadly" women except for the 10-year-old were married women.

Now let me cut to the present.

A month ago, I received a call from Bellevue Hospital informing me that I had a doctor's appointment with a certain doctor, a doctor who I was not familiar with, a doctor who was not my cardiologist, and what was the basis of this appointment, the nurse who called me for this doctor couldn't explain.  I put off that appointment until New Year's Eve.

I showed up for this appointment still wondering what the hell it was about and curious as to who this doctor was who had given me the appointment.  As is usual with these appointments, I took my seat in the waiting area and prepared to sit for at least an hour before my name was called.  During that sitting, I noticed this very attractive doctor who came out and called the name of a patient and then when that patient came forward this doctor was oh so sweetly attentive, hugging the patient and asking about her family and how she was feeling.  This doctor was very pretty, very slim, and immediately I became attracted to her though merely in a reminiscent sense and not a seductive sense, a reminiscent sense in that this doctor was almost the identical twin of a woman who I had had a fiery romance with while I was living in Santa Fe, New Mexico, a married woman with whom our fiery romance blossomed into a full-fledged love affair that followed me as I left Santa Fe and moved to New York City where our affair came to a tragic ending when this woman left her husband and children and also moved to New York City looking to hook up with me but unaware that for certain egotistical reasons I had changed my name---this is when I had high hopes of becoming a successful writer soon to be elevated to a bestselling author status due to a manuscript I was shopping among the NYC publishing giants.  Because of this name change, this dear woman searched diligently for me for six months before returning to Santa Fe where she suffered a mental breakdown.  When I later learned of this woman's tragedy, I got into a funk that definitely was one of the reasons for my second marriage failing.  My wife at the time hated this woman  Of this affair I could also write a book.

So for reflective sentimental reasons, I found this look-alike doctor attractive and as I sat in that waiting area I saw her see two more patients as I became more and more attracted to her.

Let me preface this tale by saying I am currently very much happily and satisfactorily involved with a dear wonderful "perfect" woman for me so my attraction to this doctor, like I said before, was purely reminiscent (sentimental) as I was not seeking a new conquest.

Soon this doctor stuck her gorgeous head out of the door leading back into the clinical rooms and called my name.  I literally ran to this woman.  Nothing but the wolf in me.  The way they check your identity they ask you your birthday, which this doctor did.  I gave my birthday and she immediately lit up.  "That's my birthday, too."  Uh-oh, thought I, we're already establishing parallel lines. La-de-dah we tripped down the hall to her office.

"Why am I here?" I asked her.  She was a general medicine internist.  "I'm evaluating your medications and recommending some immunizations."  The immunization part turned me negative.  I'm an open opponent of vaccines after having worked in the pharmaceutical industry for 12 years and seen that most vaccines cause more harm to the immune system than they prevent diseases (they all contain aluminum).  I kept quiet about my antagonistic attitude at least until she brought up just what vaccines she was intending for my edification.

After several blah-blah-blah questions about my habits, this gorgeous doctor asked me, "What do you do to pass the time?"  To which I answered that I am an inveterate reader and then tacked on that, too, I was writing a novel.  "OH!" her face lit up like an X-mas tree, "I'm a writer, too."  Oh really, I said, challenging her with an en garde: "I've published two books years ago," to which she touched, "My second book's just come out." And she reached over and got a post card and handed it to me.  It was announcing her latest publication, a book on being a doctor at Bellevue (the oldest public hospital in the U.S., by the bye).

Her next question had to do with how I knew I was having a heart attack and I told her that I didn't and would have died had it not been for a beautiful woman calling the EMS dudes against my will.  And then she asked me, "And what does this beautiful woman do?"  And I said that she's a book editor with the Beacon Press in Boston.  "OH," she said, again her eyes twinkling like happy stars, "Beacon Press is my publisher!"  Holy Cristo, I was thoughtfully shouting, I can't top this outrageously gorgeous babe.

And I don't know how she got me around to following up on her "how do you pass your time?" question by saying, too, that I was a musician---oh yeah, now I remember, it was because I told her my heart attack started while I was singing and playing harmonica with my old friend's blues band down in SOHO...and sure enough, as was predictable by then, she responded with, "I'm a musician, too.  I play the cello."  Which melted me from uptight to mellow.  By then I'm having old thoughts of seduction running through my heating-up veins.  Boy howdy, I'm thinking, if I were younger, I'd loose my rather diabolical charm on this gorgeous creature in a big way, a way introduced by several fanfares! (Of course I'm fully aware that women know when they're attracting the pants off a vulnerable dude.)

As I said before, I'm totally against any kind of vaccines due to their containing both mercury and aluminum, both deadly poisons.  But once this doctor had me caught between being obsessively attracted to her and my antagonistic logic, I found myself giving in to the attraction to the jeopardy of my healthful common sense.  As this spider woman lured me into her professional web, her vivid and hypnotizing brown eyes penetrating my psyche, before I regained my composure, I found myself signing a release...yes, you do have to sign a release before these medical killers will poison you---and most medical doctors are killers due to their being stuck in the toxic protocols pounded into their heads in our medical schools but also due to their ignorance of alternative medicine (holistic medicine) and the contradicting studies and clinical trials mounted against med-school-imposed Big Pharma solutions to our common immunological problems.  This gorgeous doctor was explaining to me how she wanted me to have a series of vaccines including the latest flu vaccine, the DTP vaccines, and the pneumonia vaccine.  Tripping briefly out of my swooning over this glamorous woman,I absolutely told her a solid NO to the flu vaccine.  She asked me why and I told her I had no faith in its efficacy and knew damn good and well it wasn't safe.  She actually admitted that I was right concerning flu vaccine efficacy so she deleted that one from her vaccination protocol.  However, I ended up surrendering (via compromise) to her saying that please I needed the middle letter shot in the DTP, the tetanus shot, and due to my bad heart she pleaded with me to also get the pneumonia shot.  I caved in though I thought she said she'd set them up at our next appointment in April.

While I was sitting back in the waiting room waiting for the assistant at the desk to give me my next appointment with this gorgeous doctor, a nurse stuck her head out of the door to the clinic rooms and called my name.  Like a lamb being led to slaughter, I happily responded, asking her what she needed me back in the clinic for.  She told me, "I'm giving you the two shots your doctor ordered."

After signing another release, this one protecting the nurse giving me the shots from a malpractice suit, I left Bellevue Hospital that day with two aluminum-laced vaccines coursing through my veins.

I cursed myself all the way home in the cab.  God-damn me.  Why had I let this damn gorgeous doctor perhaps cause me future harm (like I said, mercury and aluminum (all vaccines have them) are highly poisonous metals).  It put me in such a funk.  I was depressed the rest of the day, kicking myself in the ass on a constant basis in the depths of the depression.  I looked at all the personal literature this gorgeous doctor had given me including several of her essays and a copy of the Bellevue Literary Review (who would have known that a hospital had a literary review...and a well-done one to boot?) and how to access her blog.

Now I'm over my depression but also now I'm avidly aware of warnings by my holistic gurus to the deadly effects both aluminum and mercury have on our immune systems.  Some even saying, like this Dr. Hal Huggins, that mercury in our system from the amalgam tooth fillings nearly every damn one of us have in our mouths from childhood up until our teeth fall out look like they are the cause of most of the autoimmune diseases we suffer from, including MS, Lou Gehrig's disease, heart disease, etc., etc.  And this Dr. Huggins warns (as does Gary Null) that all vaccines, no matter which, contain both mercury and aluminum and are most dangerous and deadly to human beings.

Little Jackie Lew replacing Little Timmy Geithner?  Obama has still got his nose up the foul-smelling shitty crack of his Wall Street benefactors and self-confessed heroes.  Obama is a Wall Street stooge. I mean, this guy is making blasphemous anti-human decisions that even Little Georgie Porgie Bush and his sorry old Unka Dick Cheney couldn't get away with.  A lot of backwards-thinking bullshit is being shoveled upon We the People with Barry Obama's new cabinet picks, starting with that man from the torture chambers of the phony War on Terrorism, Johnny Boy "Torture 'Em Long and Hard" Brennan, a Neanderthal when it comes to humanitarianism, a coward in authoritarian clothing, to be the new CIA head (why not do away with the CIA?). Even Barry's picking John "Ketchup Slurpin'" Kerry as Sec'y of State to replace Hillary "Blood Clot" Clinton makes no sense to me, except it opens up a chance for a GOP nutjob to retake a Massachusetts Senate seat that he lost to Elizabeth Warren, And worst of all, Barry's picking that total failure, Jackie Boy Lew, to succeed Little Timmy "Bailout" Geithner as Sec'y of the Treasury. The Ship of Fools sails on.  (By the way, Jackie Boy was a Clintonista during the deregulation of banks done under the Big Dog's rule before Jackie Boy made himself richer than God by helping CitiBank in its fraudulent derivatives schemes (CitiBank bet on financial failures), Jackie Boy reaping millions in bonuses after We the People bailed the going-under CitiBank network of schemers out.  Barry Obama has a great knack of being so damn ignorant to the real cause of our economic failure in favor of blaming it on social programs that had nothing to do with it.

This same-ole same-ole right-wing agenda politics still makes me vilely sick at my empirical stomach as I watch lies being turned into truths under our very stupid noses.  How can We the People keep putting up with these pirates, these crooks, openly getting away with felony on top of felonies without any of these bastards facing any prison time?  I'm amazed at how stupid We the People are when it comes to believing all this backwards thinking and putting our hopes in Barry Obama who is now fastly becoming an even worse president than ole G.W. Bush who's down in Big D living the life of a god-damn duke.    

for The Daily Growler